Yulelog

Yuletidings

I've been baking bread and we finally put up the tree today.  So nice and cozy and nice smelling today. 

Tiny Spirit

My boss brought me this tiny little yuletide tree. It plugs into my usb port. cuteness. I'm drinking coffee and trying to get serious about doing some work. not easy today. I've been running each morning before work for the past couple of weeks. I realized I was skipping too many runs due to my schedule. It's hard for me to get out of bed yet I feel pretty great after it's all done. Work on my new S on S album is going great. I'm entering into the hardest phase though. When creating a recording there comes a point when you have to cross the threshold and reconcile what each song could be, with what it finally ends up being. That's the proof in the pudding and it's a fucker. When making the demo version of a song you hear so much possibility, but when you start that final mix you hear so much reality. Every flaw and poorly seated and chosen tone is laid bare, and it can overwhelm the desire to finish the project. Keep going, hope for the best.

One Sided Saga pt. 17

no more talk of small storage spaces Sunday, January 6, 2002 6:32 PM

I never really acted growing up. unless you count lying...so then maybe, but only while sneezing. oh my, the humor. did you do any acting other than garage sale?

i didn't manage to find any clothes. i got side tracked early on though and had to go see kurt.

i wrote you a song today. even recorded it. not much of a song, just acoustic guitar and some vocals. i felt like creating something today and since i had so much fun writing a song for courtney i thought i'd try it with you, and you were kind of on my mind so hey... i must apologize, because it's not a very good song, but it will have to do. i'll tell you from the onset, it's based on a poor metaphor and goes down hill from there. i wouldn't take it all too seriously...but for what it's worth, i'll send it to you in a minute or two. if you don't get it, just let me know.

oh, yeah, weeknights are cool with me, i'm pretty well free this whole week other than work, so just let me know what would work for you.

is there anyone you absolutely hate?

brandon

Life on Mars

Monday afternoon Ronnie and I were speaking about the possible discovery of life on Mars. This lead to a discussion of an S no S song called "Bring on the Aliens". Lyrics:

Come on, bring on the aliens, I can't wait to see the look on your face, one million light year fall from grace

Come on, bring on the aliens Don't ask me to help hide your shame the evidence is all around and we're to blame

It's time to re-write the rules time to re-arrange some visitors have come and they've brought change.

It's a spacey song, in a first for S no S my brother Devin composed the music. I've had the song at the back of my mind and in a state of partial progress for a few years. When I told Ronnie about it I decided I would take some time and see if I could polish it up and finish it. Monday night I went home and did just that, and feeling rather inspired I continued to work on more S no S tracks, mixing a demo of each song down as I went. 10 songs flew out faster than I had expected. I've decided now that I'll pursue this muse for the next few weeks and finish this album up. I've completed a lot of S no S archival work recently and that has made me feel great, and more creatively free.

So sometime in January I plan to release "10 Digits" by S no S. It's been 10 years since we last found S no S wandering with aimless glee through the folky pastures of "May April". What a Difference a decade makes. The Machines have taken over and the acoustic guitar has nearly disappeared. The landscape of "10 Digits" is capable of being either bleak and spartan or lush and sometimes chaotic. The point of view has grown at times more hostile, certainly more seasoned but still capable of optimism. The most noticeable growth for S no S has been in technical achievement, the years between albums have seen an explosion of new and more affordable gear, and studio experience with many other musical projects has made for a better understanding of how to effectively use it. ultimately "10 Digits" is a journey back into the self. Where "May April" was a goodbye with one foot out the door towards adventure, "10 Digits" is the veteran come home. Pull up a chair, smoke it if you have it, and crank your stereo, let me tell you where I've been.

One Sided Saga pt. 16

coming out of Spacious closets Thursday, January 3, 2002 7:42 PM

on the matter if the song i wrote for courtney's christmas present. sing yes, but being the day after new years it was a little rough. my voice was fucked, but it fit the song. it was vagely based on some strange events courtney and i have been apart of. she really liked it, don't know if it was the song or the gesture.

birthday: march 19.

greatest day of my life: ....... don't really have one. kind of unfair to ask a question when i don't have an answer, but i was curious to see if i was missing anything by not having one. i'm inclined to agree that it just hasn't happened yet. or i could say today, it should be, but i suppose it really wasn't. but the day is not over yet, and dan just called to invite me to hang out with w\him and kurt to watch football. it's the first time in weeks that dan's had any spark in his voice.

last night was cool. jason and i went to the pub on santa fe to see this dude who rocks on the keyboards, but he was sick. so we went to one of my all-time favorite bars, the keyhole club. ever been there? it makes me laugh just to think about that place.

i had to "teach" cooking to the old folks again today. that's starting to be one of my favorite things at work. i can't cook, so i have to rely on wit. we have a blast. they all make fun of me and i pretend to have an ego the size of a minor god(albeit one with aspirations of claiming the top seed). we made some argentine desert called pasta frila(no way i spelled that right). i think i'm beggening to like cooking because i love to make things from other stuff or nothing. probably why above all else i would classify myself as an artist. i love creating. it turns me on. i am turned on.

"okay sir, i can see you're strange" "well, thanks for noticing."

how did the recording go? must hear some of your originals.

whats the nicest thing you've ever done for another person? to be fair, as of now i don't think i can answer this question. but i'll leave you with a funny thing i was told today by a women with extreme dementia. "shut up! all you've done today is help people!"

bye by buy brandon

One Sided Saga pt. 15

reloe Wednesday, January 2, 2002 7:37 PM

hope alls going well, and that you find yourself in the good lords pocket. just kind of riding around in there, nothing but thin silk fabric separating you from his erect deity nipple. god blushes when i talk about such things. he keeps making idle threats. he's always been a drama queen.

i apologize if i was a little on the intoxicated side of things new years eve, but such is the nature of the holiday. thanks for hanging out with us and allowing my ragged group of friends to crash your party and drive all the guests away. but we had fun, and hope you did like wise.

new years day was nice. even though i woke up too early. i thought the clock said 1:15 when it was really 11:05. i spent most the afternoon writing a song and recording it for my friend courtney's christmas present. it turned out pretty cool, even though i had to rush the bass and bongo tracks. i had to rush because i had to pick her up from the airport that evening. courtneys one of my "special" people, we've been close for about three years. she lives in hays and goes to school. i'm still having trouble finishing my thoughts, i think i've gotten off the relevancy highway. speaking of lost trains of thought, ever remember what you were going to say at "jazz" the other night?

okay, going out to go watch some music.

what would you consider the greatest day of your life?

asker of such crazy deep questions, brandon

Dearest Drive

Dearest External Mind Drive,

I must deeply apologize for my lapse in communication. I have sent you nothing but photographs and cryptic epitaphs. This is disrespectful of our long standing devotion to one another. I've missed you, I've thought about you more than it would seem, somehow I just haven't been able to connect. I'm back now though, I'll do better.

Lots of things have happened. Our beloved pet Simone was guided out of our realm on October 28. As you know from the countless blurry photos he was a very serious cat. The funniest thing about him was that he was never in on the joke, forever our furry straight man. He excelled in cuddling and making half meows, and he loved to gently touch our faces with his soft paws. I miss him deeply and constantly.

On a more positive note, the weekend before last was monumental. My parents and sister and her new and wonderful boyfriend Drew were in town for my brother Devin and his partner Dylan's 10th Anniversary. They had a party at a rented room in the community center in Plummer Park. So many people came who's lives have been enriched by their 10 year union. The most magical of moments occurred though during the gift exchange, when Devin proposed and Dylan accepted. I was so proud of the two of them for making love work in unlikely circumstance.

I'm starting off a new adventure tomorrow, I shall be a mentor to a 16 year old. Confidentiality forbids me from detail, but know dearest drive that I am both excited and nervous to begin a new phase in my agreement with the universe.

With love and affection, Brandon

What's on tee vee?

Goodbye my friend

Simone

Thinking of my special furry boy.  It's

Aids walk set up

Deep; like a cup of black coffee

This week was good and this week was sad. I lost a first cousin once removed in a truly awful way. I have nothing elegant to say about this. I did not know this cousin, I don't know that I ever met him, but I know his family and those who now grieve for him and their pain is my pain.

I have not been good at finishing things these last few years. I've become to precious with myself and I have to kick my self important habit. I'm not sure when it began but I at some point I decided to expect too much from myself and my output. I don't think the world needs musicians and artist to put out perfect work. So I'm going to try harder to finish things to the best of my ability, but I'm not going to try and hold myself to impossible standards anymore.

With that I'll say that monday night I completed work on the sound track to a Web Television show. I've been working on it for a few months. Finishing something felt so good. It felt even better last night when I got home to find payment for the project waiting in my mail box. It's not often I get paid to do what I love, and it feels very good.

Tuesday night I decided to run the 11 miles from the office to my house. I have had a goal of running a half marathon in under 2 hours, and on the run I decided it might be a good time to go for it. Off the bat I'll disclose that I was carrying a back pack, and I didn't stop my timer at stop lights. Excuses out of the way here is what happened. I got to the 11 mile mark and realized I was at 1 hour 40 minutes. I decided to tack on the last 2 miles and go for my goal. Sadly my calf muscles started cramping on me and I was only able to run 12.77 miles in the allotted 2 hours. I didn't technically hit the goal, but I really did.

Love to everyone.

One Sided Saga pt. 14

ellroe Sunday, December 30, 2001 6:59 PM

at dawn on the twenty-seventh of april, sierva maria was just falling asleep after cayetano had left the cell, when with no warning they came to begin the exorcism. -gabriel garcia marquez "of love and other demons"

just read that today, thought you might take comfort in knowing other people have had bad luck on the 27th. coincidence seems to be all over these days.

shortly but briefly, brandon

One sided saga pt. 13

i should maybe be punished Friday, December 28, 2001 5:50 PM

what sucks about phone numbers is they have to be in the correct order. don't bother calling 913 422 5079 in the evening, cause they never answer the phone. it's true, i am an idiot.

my # 913 206 2078 feel any more real? i'm free for pretty well all of saturday. i'd love to hang out or whatever. please call or email me, let me know what would work for you. or you could not, free will is a beautiful thing.

i'm going to go take a nap... brandon

One Sided Saga Pt 12

[ No Subject ] Thursday, December 27, 2001 11:12 PM

oh my.
i tried calling a couple times tonight. but alas, to my great disappointment, as you very well know, i was unable to reach you. too bad really, it seemed i was full of incredibly witty and poignant things to say, so instead i tried to write songs expressing the pain and anguish one feels at growing up a white male in urban western kansas. as of this writing it's not going so well, but i do believe i've achieved the guitar tone necessary to convey my thoughts.

that being said, what would be a practical time to reach you? i was beginning to wonder if either of us actually existed, so i thought maybe it would be best to branch out into another medium. and everyone loves the phone.

i remember once, when i was in seventh grade, a friend of mine, mike, a very straight laced kid(he's in law school at ku), called me at nine o'clock with a proposition, he'd been hearing stories at school about crazy all night phone conversations. needless to say he was filled with envy, how dare all his class mates get wild kicks on the phone. so his proposition was that the two of us should talk on the phone all night! oh, the tales we'd tell the next day at school. he could just see it, both of us dead tired, drowsy and whining all day long. "why mike? why brandon? why are you so tired?" "on the phone? all night?" "what did you two talk about?" oh wouldn't they all like to know. as it turned out after about 30 minutes of gossiping about our friends, at 9:30, i hear a click...dead silence. come to find out the next day at school that mike had heard a noise, assumed it to be his father, hung up and immediatey feigned sleep. after that scare he was too frightened to call back. to think back on it now, it's a very special imagined memory, to see mike tucked in bed still reeling from his exploits. i think the whole story is a metaphor or something, but i'll be unavailable for comment on the symbolic aspect of my anecdote. this doesn't even come close to the time mike and i camped out in my parents motor home drinking mountain dew with coffee crystals mixed in.

i think that was probably one long run-on sentence. i apologize if it makes no sense, but i would never push the send button if i were to go back and edit any of my emails. even using the speel check feature can sometimes be too much.

friends are a funny thing. wow, i'm ultra profound! i know how i think you feel though. my friends, i love them to death, but they can take their toll. i may just be paranoid, but sometimes i feel like my friends' greatest pleasure in life comes from watching their close friends fail. i know it's not all true, and maybe it's a male bravado thing, though none of my friends are overtly masculine, but they just seem to pay a lot more attention to the things that are not going well for someone.

cigarettes? nope, i tried a couple of times, but i could never get properly addicted. every once in a great while, in the midst of serious binge drinking i'll beg dan for one, and he'll refuse to give it to me because he knows i'll only take a few drags proceed to not inhale and then put it out. i once bet dan 20 bucks that he couldn't go a year without smoking. to my knowledge he made it the whole year. he wouldn't let me pay him the money, but he did go right ahead and start smoking again. thats dan.

i'm brandon and i'll be in touch. i think maybe i'd even like to see you sometime, my mental picture of you is changing quickly from a girl i met at tanners to a string of randomly informative emails. busy this weekend? oh, bitter sweet tragedy.

10.25 in 1:35

One Sided Saga Pt. 11

christless Tuesday, December 25, 2001 9:02 PM

i respectfully declined the invitation to attend church with the fams. it would have just annoyed me to the point of anger. other people can do what they want, just don't expect me to respond at the Christian roll-call.

i wouldn't say i'm a jealous person, i've come to the point where i feel confident with who i am and what i'm capable of, if my feelings/attractions for someone are ignored or go unrequited...oh well. it can suck, but i'm young and this is a very large world. my two year relationship was great, until the end, then it just wasn't happening. she went away to go to college, and that pretty well did it. we kept it up for most of the first year she was away, but it just started to drag. i suppose all told it was almost three years, but the last three months hardly count. it really began different then any other relationship or near relationship i've ever had. we just really liked being together, we never bothered to talk about weather or not we were dating or exclusive or what. the first two years i just never felt like being with anyone else. then things just changed. other people started to appeal to both of us, and in the end we were both unfaithful. as far as indiscretion goes we were both fairly harmless, but it was enough to let us know it was over. we email infrequently but i don't see her very often. i saw her in october and found out she's getting married. we had a great talk, and i'm very happy for her.

lets talk about age later, i'm windy tonight and i haven't even talked about jesus's b-day. what i got... bongo drums! i just didn't have enough things that make noise. william s. burroughs "naked lunch". gabriel garcia marquez "love and other demons" electric razor. personal hygiene rules. paints, brushes.

what did you get? did you have a good day?

and as a final surprise:

cool orange blue sky dull grey water waves a while time saved frozen

and since i'd rather feel summer:

sand scratch between toes a salt water soothing cool leaving shore behind

haiku is tough, merry ex-mas, brandon

Saga Interruptus

Hello internet! I trust you are well and full of many wondrous items. I have been hiding from your in my past and for that I apologize.

Turbo Sunshine had a show recently, on Sept. 4th and it was good. Here are a few videos.

I've been running a lot this year. I'm trying to maintain a relatively good base of conditioning for the entire year, and hopefully much longer. I have been pretty great about fitness the past few years, but in each year there seems be at least one period of slackassedness that takes me from in shape to out; and I think that is entirely avoidable in my life's current configuration. I'm primarily running these days, with supplemental calisthenics. I would like to get back into lifting of the weights as I had been earlier in this year. It's just not nearly as fun as a good long run. I have found in the past few weeks as I've gotten busier that I'm not able to run as consistently as I prefer, so I'm implementing a new plan of increasing the distance on each run. I've been running in the 6-8 mile range 3 to 4 times a week and I would like to be in the 9-11 range. More on that as it develops.

Our home is nearly finished. I changed the chandelier last weekend and built a new shelf for the laundry hamper and vacuum in the hall closet last week. sometime this week I'll run a network cable to Angie's room for her computer and do a bit more light switch covering. from here on out it's going to be a lot easier. Touch ups here and there and a lot of work on projects.

Simone our previously sick kitty is still a bag of bones, but he seems to be as active as ever and happy. He has me trained to feed him, which reminds me to give him his pill every night and in this way balance seems to be achieved. Frusciante is fat and loves eating the food Simone leaves on his plate. Bettina is happy with everything except the lack of air conditioning in her room. Special attention was paid in the set up of this home to remove vulnerable wiring from bunny height. This makes getting her out of her room and into the main living area a lot easier and hassle free, thus greatly adding to the time she gets to hangout with the rest of us.

Angela is doing well at work, gaining more duties constantly. She seems to be recognized in her company as a valuable asset. I'm proud of her. My work has been pretty busy these past few months. With technician's on the east coast for the Daily Show's coverage of the RNC and DNC I found myself having to actually be out in the field working on a small telethon. Not fun.

I have switched mobile phones and providers. I will now look to see if they make any nice apps for blogging on blogger from and android device.

and now, back to the past in progress.

One Sided Saga pt. 10

purple laze Saturday, December 22, 2001 12:45 AM

how old do i feel? right now, four hundred and seven. it's been a long week, and everyday it's been "well, i can go to bed early tomorrow." now, when i should be going to bed, i have no reason to put it off any further, i refuse to give in simply because i don't have to get up in the morning. i never feel much younger than 22, thats probably a good indication of my youth, refusing to recognize how green i really am. some days i feel really old, but not wise. my perspective on age has been severely bent this last year. i'll qualify that statement someday.

i've been in k.c. almost a year. sometime this month, in fact it may be my one year anniversary today, or yesterday. prior to k.c. i lived in l.a., but the great magnet had other ideas. i grew up in western kansas, on a farm outside of a small(less than 100 people) town called paradise. i can't imagine having grown up anywhere else, the memories i have from this time in my life are the most beautiful thing i know. be that as it may, the greatest thing that ever happened to me was moving off the farm to a town of twenty thousand called hays, kansas. many aspects of hays make my blood curdle, but to compare education and experiences, with those i would have had staying in a 1 horse town put it in a different light. hays is still a one horse town, but the horse was mister ed with a penchant for grain alcohol.

what kind of terms are you and the "ex" on? my longest relationship was an indefinite two years, i can't imagine four.

are you a jealous person?

to be dead for the next fifteen hours, brandon

One Sided Saga pt. 9

the near future is always just ahead Wednesday, December 19, 2001 11:54 PM

i should make a habbit of calling people silly more often, it has a nice effect.

i thought we discussed the age issue, but i guess i'm really not positive how old you are either. i happen to be twenty two, and i kind of enjoy that. it's a pretty fine age to be. other stats of intrest.

i like cats. i'm sure your dog is exceedingly pleasant though. i currently have no pets. it was just on my mind because i was playing with the cat at work today.

i drive a horrible car, an 88 nissan pulsar, but we get along. i don't much care about/for cars anymore. living where i do i appriciate having one, but if it comes right down to it, i'd rather not own one. public transportation has a long way to go, and kansas can be so damned incoroprative and cold. also, my car is a gay, with a taste for cross dressing(it wears a bra!).

i currently live with mom and dad. sometimes i cringe to have to tell people that, but only if i actually care about them. anyhoo, i figure i gett of on technicalities of the unfortunate. and it's just a temporary thing while i save money....okay, i'm just a dork. how sad life can be(i think that was sarcasm).

i'm right handed.

i don't know my eye-color, but i've been known to tell people they are grey/green or blue green.

i have an older brother and a younger sister.

i know it's dreadfully immature, but i love few things more than fun. drama is cool, but only if it's really funny, and it's understood it's all a joke anyway.

i'm paranoid about over simplifying.

i love to run. i don't get why alot of people have a hard time understanding this. it clears my mind.

and while i'm being honest, and this always weirds me out, though i wouldn't say i'm at all ashamed, i do, occasionally, from time to time, enjoy the marijuana. i've been told this makes me a bad person. if you're of this opinion, kindly give me a chance at explination before telling me to go straight to hell with all my dope fiend friends.

the i before e except after c rule always gives me problems.

brandon

One Sided Saga pt. 8

not yet near future Wednesday, December 19, 2001 12:56 AM

i've been told i'm very passionate. i suppose i even belive it, even though i don't much belive what other people tell me about myself, in this case it may just be true. i connect most things to my heart and soul in one way or another, any other way of living just seems kind of empty.

that being said, i was at "our" tanners, briefly this evening. it was like crazy packed, so we all left to find a bar you could actually sit down in. it was a fun night, just laughing and telling stories and what not.

work today was very fun, some days i'm reminded of just how cool my job is. we had a group of special needs grade school kids come in today and i took them back to my favorite part of the building, the alzheimers wing, and we all had a ball. most grade school children kind of clam up around residents but these kids were like crazy lovey, giving hugs and what not, i was moved to the point where i was forced to use words like cute and adorable. then when i would normally be getting off work i took a van load full of residents to see christmas lights. it's a fun thing for them to do but i'm seriously under compensated for that amount of responsibility. some days i'm just shocked at the amount of trust the center has in me. i have no real qualifications, a horrible driving record and no medical training...lets send him out to drive a huge van full of people with medical conditions!

i used to have idols, rockstars and things of that nature, certain teachers and my father i suppose. now though i wouldn't use the word idol. i respect a lot of people, but idolatry just doesn't feel right to me. y tu?

would it be out of order for me to call you sometime?

brandon

One Sided Saga pt. 7

i'm a very bad person Monday, December 17, 2001 9:09 PM

so like, i meant to have my hiaku finished and turned in by the due date. i always have the very best of intentions. it's just like, sometimes, well i'm easily distracted. like this guy once said in this one movie, i'm my own worse distraction. your hiaku rocked. thanks so much for taking me seriously enough to write a hiaku. i promise i'll have mine done by the end of the month. i suppose i should have written one when it first struck me, but it just seemed like i'd done enough work just coming up with the idea...

my weekend was decent like. friday just went to the pub on santa fe with my two crazy cats dan and kurt. just being lazy and cool at the pub. not feeling especially social. saturday dan and i cruised over to lawrence to see an old high school friend of mine. he graduated from ku last year only to turn around and get a job there. now he has the same lifestyle, just gets paid poorly for it. it was pretty fun, i got to play presidents and assholes! havn't played that forever, ever play?

my sis was also in town this weekend. she goes to school at kansas state. she's two years younger than me.

how's your dog?

questions are better. i've already asked two. you can ask as many as you like, but much like my failure to fufill my end of the hiaku thing, i may not answer timely.

lets go back to an old email. i was thinking today that maybe my answer to your co-dependacy question was too abrupt. did you want to delve a little. i've never much talked about it with her, but i know when i was way younger my mom used to read books on co-dependancy. her father was not the greatest of men, and it took my mother along time to get over the enviornment she grew up in. i have a tremendous amount of respect for how my mother came to understand and improve herself.

i heard a mariah carey song today and i thought of you. ofcourse now i know you more as emails then the person i talked to at a bar, so it seemed a little strange. but then again, i suppose i'm a little strange, but so we all are.

are you a person of passion?

brandon

One Sided Saga pt. 6

envy for your thoughts Wednesday, December 12, 2001 10:17 PM

europe and the caymans in one summer...now i have another problem with god. equal division of vacations, dammit. my most memorable vacations are very difficult to re-call. just silly spring break trips and thigs of that nature, but telling these stories isn't exactly suited to email, so until some other time...

so refreshing to hear someone else with an axe to grind about religion. i used to be quite a vocal athiest, i suppose i've grown a little past that. i like what you said about "something" being out there. something or things, and who can really tell what they/it feel about us, if it/things feel at all. religion really bothers me when people stop thinking, they just use their religion as a blanket answer to everything that comes up. la da da da la...... so it goes on and on.

my favorite inanimate object. maybe my acoustic guitar, but thats too easy. probably i would maybe sort of, er umm, say...a cheesy plastic skull that came out of my first car, it was on the gear shifter stick thing. i finally stopped putting it in my car when i wrecked every vehicle it was in. it's also cool cause my sister gave it to me, and cooler yet she won it from one of those claw machines, in a bowling center no less. it has paint on it from one summer when my friends had a job painting gas meters. now it just sits in my room, making me giggle once in a while. i wouldn't say i love it, but i'm rather fond of it. in it's own way it understands me.

i finally caught up on my sleep, i was in bed by 900pm last night! i guess that needs exclamation.

feeling any better? i'd send you some chicken soup but i broke my modem the last time i tried.

and a break from the questions, maybe a trade. haiku for a haiku. you first or you can call me out if you'd like. i've been thinking about writing hiakus(does that plural?)but honestly have not written one since grade school. i think that dis-claimer meant something like, "yes my haiku kicks alot of ass. i'm sure you must think i'm some sort of proffesional, but i'm not. just a guy who thought it would be fun to write a haiku."

okay then brandon

One Sided Saga pt. 5

sleepy Monday, December 10, 2001 6:22 PM

i'm so much jealous that you've been to europe. how old were you when you went? any european details would be read and appriciated.

i wouldn't really worry about sounding like an idiot about religion. i'm not what you would call a religous person. infact it seems we probably have alot of common ground. it gets pushed to the fore front of my mind alot because i work in a christian facility, and i really don't consider myself a christian. i agree with alot of their principals involving human interaction but i don't much go for the value system. i'm still trying to figure the whole thing out so i guess that i'll remain a little vague on the point. i would like to hear/read more into your views....

i went on a little quest to western kansas this weekend so i'm very much the tired one. i went back to see some family and friends. i had a good time, got to party with my uncle who's kind of my rock and roll mentor. the town i went to was hays, where i went to high school. the city wide hobby there is binge drinking, which at times can be fun, but when you move away you get out of practice, and it can kind of kick your ass.

do you have a favorite inanimate object? if so, what is it and how long have you known it?

brandon

One Sided Saga Pt. 4

so says one, so does anotherWednesday, December 5, 2001 9:19 PM

so jokes are pretty funny.

i have a pretty firm grasp of co-dependency.

as for unlimited funds. i'd rent an apartment on the strip in l.a. and buy a house somewhere very isolated. i'd probably buy an animal or two. then i'd build a studio in my isolated house. i'd record until i got to into it then i'd fly to l.a. and party my balls off with my brother. i'd also pay my friends to join in my life style. when this becomes to routine then i'll try and see as much of the world as i could. i'd also write a novel and run a marothon(i'll do these last two anyway, but it would be nice to do it with unlimited funds) oh, to have unlimited funds. what would you do?

speaking of florida, i'm thinking of moving there in late june. i have some friends in orlando who want to get a house and make music all day. who could resist?

the party went very well, it did not suck nearly as much as i gave it credit for. i did have to stay at work far to long though. tonight i've been working on rock n' roll as a second job. i mixed nine songs. i bought a digital recording station about four months ago and i've been working on an album since then. i think i'm getting better but my perspective on the thing is pretty well lost. i'm really only trying to make great songs that sound ultra cool. is that too much to ask?

are you a religious type? explain.

best o' luck on your finals.

brandon

Another Archival Nugget

Today's alternate email from the depths of a soon to be deceased email account is to a different girl in a different situation. I realize I'm taking the blogging to an overly selfish area with this stuff, but it's a strange and wonderful thing to be able to read what you wrote to people 10 years ago.

rolling tamborine men and a perfect day toastTuesday, March 26, 2002 11:18 PM

well then...
i just finished running, i thought about a lot and nothing. i raced a train. the train left me with a valuable metaphor, which i'll now relate.

approximately 3.5 miles into my run, a familiar chug pushes it's way over my breath and into my ears. my first impulse is to speed up, out there even i can become competitive. the engine passes me by in no time. i'm feeling vaguely annoyed.
trains are loud and rigid. they go where they are told, and they have no appreciation for beauty. the trail i'm on runs parallel to the tracks for another two miles, no matter what happens i decide, i will beat this train to the point where our paths divide.
i notice the pace of the train slowing...naturally i accelerate. the train moves at or near my speed for about a quarter mile, then slows to a stop. victory? i remember what vencil smiley once told me "hot pockets, never count your chickens before they move out of your house and get a full time job." i focus, i know god can be tricky. i'm gaining ground on the engine, and only half a mile to our separation point.
at almost the exact moment that i pass the engine i hear the breaks release, this fucker means business. i'm just a quarter of a mile from the goal, and i have a safe three hundred yards on the machine, but i can hear him loud and clear. this train wants to win. about fifty yards from the finish i realize that i'm sprinting...thinking maybe i'm a little carried away. just as i make the turn i hear the whistle blow, but i've won by a clear second and a half.
i like to think dinah blew the horn in honor of my victory, it probably had a little more to do with the fact that an intersection was rapidly approaching and all trains blow their horns there, but i figured i deserved a favorable mis-interpretation.

that may be a metaphor, but now that i've bothered to relate it, it just seems confusing. realize i decided to write about that while it was happening, and it seemed like a much better idea then.

in response to your deal: i must explain that i make no title distinction between "friends" and "more than friends". the two are not all that different for me. you are my friend, and i've thought about you a lot. i think your changing faster than you are prepared for, and i know you'll handle it fine, if you remember to think.

i'm here and i'm very versatile. office hours are flexible, call whenever necessary.

One Sided Saga Pt. 3

Re: it was a Sat. early morning, but a Fri niteMonday, December 3, 2001 8:58 PM

well then.
my weekend was a wonderfull time, but the week started off badly. about one day a month i just don't have the energy nor patients my job requires, so it makes for a tough day. today was such a day.
but hey, i'm alive and tommorrow will be much better. except for the fact that we have our center christmas party tommorrow night, and i have to deal with all the family members that never come any other day of the year.

as for performers thats a good question. i'd have to say roger clyne, of the arizona peacemakers. just something about his songs and stage presence. i've only seen him live once but hey, it was enough. have you ever seen mariah live? did i spell that right? i can't think or type tonight.

do you read much?

later,
brandon

Uplift Novels - David Brin

Back in June when I went to Kansas for a family reunion I got to raid my old book collection.  I am a re-reader.  If I loved a book the first time around, I generally want to and will read it again.  This perplexes my father and other readers I know.  My dad's argument is that you already know all the characters and plot events, and unless your memory is awful, with the amount of unread books in the world there is no reason to revisit previously read books.  I understand this point of view, but I guess we differ in that to me the act of reading isn't just about learning who did what to who.  I don't really think this is why my father reads either, but perhaps it does explain why he turns a page faster than anyone I have ever met.  Having established the objections and the proclivity I resume raiding my the book collection at my parent's house.
I knew long before this trip that Intended to grab all six novels in the two uplift trilogies by David Brin.  One evening I was telling Angie about the books, something cute about dolphins in the books I'm sure, and I was suddenly overwhelmed with the desire to revisit the series.  I originally read these books sometime in the years of 2000 & 2001, or as best as I can recall.   The first time around I started with the second set of three, which had more recently been published.  After finishing the second trilogy I turned around and read the first one.  This time around I really wanted to approach them in published order.
I've now completed the first trilogy and started in on the second.  I'm having a blast diving back into the universe Brin created.  I barely recalled reading "the uplift war" the first time around, I must have been drinking in the bath tub for the majority of it.  I remembered enough bits towards the end to know that I finished it, but I didn't even recall the plot.  Perhaps in addition to not reading as fast as pops I might not have the same steal trap memory (oddie, I do happen to have his internal clock).

I would summarize the plot and all the great stuff, but the internet doesn't need that, read it here.

A Continuing One Sided Saga pt. 2

I decided to only print the messages I wrote to this girl, because it's more fun for your mind if you have to fill in the other side. As a side note, I have not re-read these messages prior to posting, and I won't read them until I post it. I'm guessing there is going to be no great ending to this story unless I fill in the details with the real life portion of the tale. Even then I would have to embellish for it to be great. Subject: oh me, yes now it all comes back.Friday, November 30, 2001 6:31 PM

lets start the profanity!

actually, I have a rule with forwards. for every forward you send I require an original email of some sorts, so I hope your either selective or creative.

nothing earth shattering to add at the moment. a long day of playing with the old folks has taken it's toll. must re-group.

do you have a favorite album?

maybe, yes, end on a question?

brandon

Progress

My Brother's Daughter

I went looking for this particular poem in my email because it popped into my head the other day when I posted lost poem number 3.  This was originally intended as a lyric to a song from a solo album that never got past the lyrical stage. This was an ode to my brother Devin, and perhaps I was trying a little to hard to be modern, but at the time I suppose everything did feel pretty new and modern and cutting edge. In retrospect this was a personal type of cutting edge, many other people had come to the mountain before me.



under the influence, my drag sibling,
tearing apart the farmer in me,
i have no perspective, my frame of reference
for ever enlarged and drastically different,
my thank you is admittance,
that you are in your own way cool,
i can tell the difference

much more brother sister
my bigger baby sitter,
i can tell the difference

i am my brothers daughter
thourough through and modern
like a jigsaw dress up doll
missing all my pieces
i am my brothers daughter
taught to be a bother
a blow up tranny elvis
lesson one in selfish

video of kid-hood
pop goes the culture
imagined,
replayed on tv,
these un-necessary brodcast,
fussing up the way i think,
unrealing expectations,
so i know the world owes me,
and i if i could only concentrate,
my eyeline lines could be drawn straight,
help me brother, why these shaking hands of ours?

One Sided Saga Pt. 1

I'm reading through my old email inbox for things to archive here.  It's easier today than writing something new and I find these historically a bit interesting, to me.

This email is one I sent to a girl I met at a bar one night in Kansas City.

11/21/01

megan....
well, lets begin with a little reminder. it was fairly tame night at tanners. you and your friend sarah sat at the far left end of the bar. drinking, laughing and general appearing to need nothing from the other patrons of the bar.
all the while i sat with my friends, telling each other the same stories we tell each other every other weekend(or was it really a week night? yes, a monday come to think of it.). our conversation drags on, and i become aware of the two of you. so i observe, and wait till the medicine takes. it doesn't take long.
when i approached you and your companion, i did not do so with some half developed plan to take you both home, i did so just for a little conversation. which your were both kind enough to provide, and exceed expectation by being pleasantly interesting. infact i was shocked to find out you sing. odd as it may seem i don't meet alot of people that use the creative portion of their brain. so to get a cheesy compliment aside, i was impressed.
if your having trouble with recollection, my name is brandon, blonde hair + glasses? hope you remember. if not, i can assure you i said wonderful and exciting things. (careful, sarcasm doesn't show up in email)
so how's that for an introduction? ramble enough for you?
if you choose to respond to this, please let me know how your singing wit da band is going. gigging anytime soon?
if your board and in need of a laugh you can check out my own meager contribution to the music world at: http://www.mp3.com/snos
os kays... not wishing to intrude unwelcome like in your life, brandon
many good returns.

Lost Poem no. 3

I found a little poem I had written at some point in the last four years.  I put it in my wallet and it's been there ever since.  To get it out of my wallet I will now transfer it here.

No Title



Waking up the blood
can be the hard thing between
what could be and was
clearing out the sludge
making room for new things
it seems so beyond above

Goodbye Weekend

The Donnies

The gay gay's are being the donnas today instead of the go gos and we got to open. It was a fun set with the Traitors.

Myles is ready to rock

The Eagle - Silverlake, CA

Oscars outdoor

Debon at the theatre

The Time Goes

I have to get a blog out of the way after a long absence. I've been having plenty of creative outlet. I haven't felt like blogging and it's a shame because I've been having a pretty good go of life these last few months. I had a kick ass family reunion and a whole host of other great things happen. Angie and I have been kicking our apartment into shape. Music is flowing pretty well, which might be why I haven't felt the need to write blog posts. Maybe I was just bored of myself. I talk too much anyway.

Buena vista cigar club

Mixing I need a priest

This message has been sent using the picture and Video service from Verizon Wireless!

To learn how you can snap pictures and capture videos with your wireless phone visit www.verizonwireless.com/picture.

Note: To play video messages sent to email, Quicktime@ 6.5 or higher is required.

studio time

A nice bowl of your finest Liv please

This message has been sent using the picture and Video service from Verizon Wireless!

To learn how you can snap pictures and capture videos with your wireless phone visit www.verizonwireless.com/picture.

Note: To play video messages sent to email, Quicktime@ 6.5 or higher is required.

Coffee

Buddy!

Amoeba window

Dylan in his natural habitat

This message has been sent using the picture and Video service from Verizon Wireless!

To learn how you can snap pictures and capture videos with your wireless phone visit www.verizonwireless.com/picture.

Note: To play video messages sent to email, Quicktime@ 6.5 or higher is required.

What I open my eyes to

This message has been sent using the picture and Video service from Verizon Wireless!

To learn how you can snap pictures and capture videos with your wireless phone visit www.verizonwireless.com/picture.

Note: To play video messages sent to email, Quicktime@ 6.5 or higher is required.

You can take the sunflower...

I'm back from the land of the sunflower. A wonderful trip!

Home Going

Our plane

This message has been sent using the picture and Video service from Verizon Wireless!

To learn how you can snap pictures and capture videos with your wireless phone visit www.verizonwireless.com/picture.

Note: To play video messages sent to email, Quicktime@ 6.5 or higher is required.

The Bond Bridge

Leaving Kansas city

Me and my niece.

This message has been sent using the picture and Video service from Verizon Wireless!

To learn how you can snap pictures and capture videos with your wireless phone visit www.verizonwireless.com/picture.

Note: To play video messages sent to email, Quicktime@ 6.5 or higher is required.

All to soon we pack up to leave

This message has been sent using the picture and Video service from Verizon Wireless!

To learn how you can snap pictures and capture videos with your wireless phone visit www.verizonwireless.com/picture.

Note: To play video messages sent to email, Quicktime@ 6.5 or higher is required.

Lake Rushmore Caity

Morning after before

Day 2

Coffee and homemade cinnamon rolls.

Fire in the disco

Family Reunion 2012

Just outside of lawrence KS

Traveling

Here's angela in our rented motor home as we make our way to wilson lake in western kansas.
We flew to kansas city and now we travel west by motorhome to meet my mother's family for a reunion. Wilson lake is our old stomping ground from childhood. Very exciting stuff.

Proof

Panceiling

Ronnie's nuts!

On our way to adams family musical

At the pantages

This message has been sent using the picture and Video service from Verizon Wireless!

To learn how you can snap pictures and capture videos with your wireless phone visit www.verizonwireless.com/picture.

Note: To play video messages sent to email, Quicktime@ 6.5 or higher is required.

Glassy K

This message has been sent using the picture and Video service from Verizon Wireless!

To learn how you can snap pictures and capture videos with your wireless phone visit www.verizonwireless.com/picture.

Note: To play video messages sent to email, Quicktime@ 6.5 or higher is required.

Window K