To follow this and to enhance my sense of strange I was greeted by a letter, written by a friend of mine to Amy and Devin and myself, dated sometime ago, a letter that I had forgotten, but remember very well upon being reminded. The letter was posted on her blog, scant of comment...
What the hell...I'm going to post it here, mainly because I don't want to not remember it:
Date: Mon, 7 Jul 2003 15:42:47 -0700 (PDT)From: "******"To: [my buds in the band, who shall remain anonymous]Subject: this is a message from the Milwaukee County Jail...
What I'm gonna do when I get outta jail? I'm gonna have some FUN! Not sure if you've ever gotten a call or letter from jail, but they stamp them with the warning "this is a call/letter from the Milwaukee County Jail...I got arrested TWICE in TWO NIGHTS for disorderlyconduct. I'd been running a fever all week anddrinking just gallons of booze. It was my biggestbender ever. I even threw a huge tantrum at a hotelin hollywood because they had no ice, and the copscame. Luckily, LAPD have better things to do thanarrest drunks. Milwaukee Sheriffs do not.First, I decided the plane was too hot and I took offmy shirt. When they told me to put it back on Icussed them out. I spit on a guy. They put me inthose little plastic cuffs and I escaped. Thestewardesses had two big fatsos restrain me withblankets, like a terrorist. THen I went DOWN-TOWN, tothe clink. The next day I got out, got drunk, and got on a bus toSummerfest. As soon as I got off the bus, a big fatsheriff asked to smell my drink. I decided to runfrom him. 4 of his big fat buddies tackled me to theground and cuffed me. I got out of the cuffs andtried to run again. They roughed me up and threw mein the squad car. When we got to the jail, all thedeputies laughed at me because I had just been therethe night before. In order to avoid being with theregular inmates, I said I was suicidal. THat turnedout to be a good idea, because I went to this reallyfunny mental unit. And the next day, they sent me toa social worker and he suggested I go to detox at amental ward (separate from jail). I was hoping forlots of nice morphine or something, but all they gaveme was ativan, because I had the shakes.Guys, I was serriously alcoholic without knowing it.As I was withdrawing, I hallucinated, got sweats andchills, and was just generally confused. The shrinks said that with all my drinking and e use,I might have damaged the part of my brain thatregulates my moods and temper. I think that explainsa lot. I'm sorry.I've decided to give this AA thing a go. It pains meto think I'll never have another beer at the Palms,but I think it's the only choice.If you saw my prison underwear, you'd understand myfear.I won't be back to LA in a long time. I'll miss you.Love you.xxxxxx
I miss this friend. We've all been round and around some pretty sketchy blocks together. I have nothing pertinent to say. I told you I was befuddled.
In looking through my email now I just noticed something else... I had a reply to a message that I wrote, to one of my favorite people in my early 20s. The reply is from an email I wrote her 5 months ago, it does not address the questions I had posed. I was vagued by it when I read it this morning.
I am further befuddled. perhaps I need more coffee to understand all of this. There is no more coffee.
I have been bad at keeping up with some folks, and I've been really good with others. Befuddled.
I think I'll probably be learing Neil Young's After the Gold Rush...
Figure that out fuckers. Befuddled.
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