One Sided Saga pt. 7

i'm a very bad person Monday, December 17, 2001 9:09 PM

so like, i meant to have my hiaku finished and turned in by the due date. i always have the very best of intentions. it's just like, sometimes, well i'm easily distracted. like this guy once said in this one movie, i'm my own worse distraction. your hiaku rocked. thanks so much for taking me seriously enough to write a hiaku. i promise i'll have mine done by the end of the month. i suppose i should have written one when it first struck me, but it just seemed like i'd done enough work just coming up with the idea...

my weekend was decent like. friday just went to the pub on santa fe with my two crazy cats dan and kurt. just being lazy and cool at the pub. not feeling especially social. saturday dan and i cruised over to lawrence to see an old high school friend of mine. he graduated from ku last year only to turn around and get a job there. now he has the same lifestyle, just gets paid poorly for it. it was pretty fun, i got to play presidents and assholes! havn't played that forever, ever play?

my sis was also in town this weekend. she goes to school at kansas state. she's two years younger than me.

how's your dog?

questions are better. i've already asked two. you can ask as many as you like, but much like my failure to fufill my end of the hiaku thing, i may not answer timely.

lets go back to an old email. i was thinking today that maybe my answer to your co-dependacy question was too abrupt. did you want to delve a little. i've never much talked about it with her, but i know when i was way younger my mom used to read books on co-dependancy. her father was not the greatest of men, and it took my mother along time to get over the enviornment she grew up in. i have a tremendous amount of respect for how my mother came to understand and improve herself.

i heard a mariah carey song today and i thought of you. ofcourse now i know you more as emails then the person i talked to at a bar, so it seemed a little strange. but then again, i suppose i'm a little strange, but so we all are.

are you a person of passion?

brandon

One Sided Saga pt. 6

envy for your thoughts Wednesday, December 12, 2001 10:17 PM

europe and the caymans in one summer...now i have another problem with god. equal division of vacations, dammit. my most memorable vacations are very difficult to re-call. just silly spring break trips and thigs of that nature, but telling these stories isn't exactly suited to email, so until some other time...

so refreshing to hear someone else with an axe to grind about religion. i used to be quite a vocal athiest, i suppose i've grown a little past that. i like what you said about "something" being out there. something or things, and who can really tell what they/it feel about us, if it/things feel at all. religion really bothers me when people stop thinking, they just use their religion as a blanket answer to everything that comes up. la da da da la...... so it goes on and on.

my favorite inanimate object. maybe my acoustic guitar, but thats too easy. probably i would maybe sort of, er umm, say...a cheesy plastic skull that came out of my first car, it was on the gear shifter stick thing. i finally stopped putting it in my car when i wrecked every vehicle it was in. it's also cool cause my sister gave it to me, and cooler yet she won it from one of those claw machines, in a bowling center no less. it has paint on it from one summer when my friends had a job painting gas meters. now it just sits in my room, making me giggle once in a while. i wouldn't say i love it, but i'm rather fond of it. in it's own way it understands me.

i finally caught up on my sleep, i was in bed by 900pm last night! i guess that needs exclamation.

feeling any better? i'd send you some chicken soup but i broke my modem the last time i tried.

and a break from the questions, maybe a trade. haiku for a haiku. you first or you can call me out if you'd like. i've been thinking about writing hiakus(does that plural?)but honestly have not written one since grade school. i think that dis-claimer meant something like, "yes my haiku kicks alot of ass. i'm sure you must think i'm some sort of proffesional, but i'm not. just a guy who thought it would be fun to write a haiku."

okay then brandon

One Sided Saga pt. 5

sleepy Monday, December 10, 2001 6:22 PM

i'm so much jealous that you've been to europe. how old were you when you went? any european details would be read and appriciated.

i wouldn't really worry about sounding like an idiot about religion. i'm not what you would call a religous person. infact it seems we probably have alot of common ground. it gets pushed to the fore front of my mind alot because i work in a christian facility, and i really don't consider myself a christian. i agree with alot of their principals involving human interaction but i don't much go for the value system. i'm still trying to figure the whole thing out so i guess that i'll remain a little vague on the point. i would like to hear/read more into your views....

i went on a little quest to western kansas this weekend so i'm very much the tired one. i went back to see some family and friends. i had a good time, got to party with my uncle who's kind of my rock and roll mentor. the town i went to was hays, where i went to high school. the city wide hobby there is binge drinking, which at times can be fun, but when you move away you get out of practice, and it can kind of kick your ass.

do you have a favorite inanimate object? if so, what is it and how long have you known it?

brandon

One Sided Saga Pt. 4

so says one, so does anotherWednesday, December 5, 2001 9:19 PM

so jokes are pretty funny.

i have a pretty firm grasp of co-dependency.

as for unlimited funds. i'd rent an apartment on the strip in l.a. and buy a house somewhere very isolated. i'd probably buy an animal or two. then i'd build a studio in my isolated house. i'd record until i got to into it then i'd fly to l.a. and party my balls off with my brother. i'd also pay my friends to join in my life style. when this becomes to routine then i'll try and see as much of the world as i could. i'd also write a novel and run a marothon(i'll do these last two anyway, but it would be nice to do it with unlimited funds) oh, to have unlimited funds. what would you do?

speaking of florida, i'm thinking of moving there in late june. i have some friends in orlando who want to get a house and make music all day. who could resist?

the party went very well, it did not suck nearly as much as i gave it credit for. i did have to stay at work far to long though. tonight i've been working on rock n' roll as a second job. i mixed nine songs. i bought a digital recording station about four months ago and i've been working on an album since then. i think i'm getting better but my perspective on the thing is pretty well lost. i'm really only trying to make great songs that sound ultra cool. is that too much to ask?

are you a religious type? explain.

best o' luck on your finals.

brandon

Another Archival Nugget

Today's alternate email from the depths of a soon to be deceased email account is to a different girl in a different situation. I realize I'm taking the blogging to an overly selfish area with this stuff, but it's a strange and wonderful thing to be able to read what you wrote to people 10 years ago.

rolling tamborine men and a perfect day toastTuesday, March 26, 2002 11:18 PM

well then...
i just finished running, i thought about a lot and nothing. i raced a train. the train left me with a valuable metaphor, which i'll now relate.

approximately 3.5 miles into my run, a familiar chug pushes it's way over my breath and into my ears. my first impulse is to speed up, out there even i can become competitive. the engine passes me by in no time. i'm feeling vaguely annoyed.
trains are loud and rigid. they go where they are told, and they have no appreciation for beauty. the trail i'm on runs parallel to the tracks for another two miles, no matter what happens i decide, i will beat this train to the point where our paths divide.
i notice the pace of the train slowing...naturally i accelerate. the train moves at or near my speed for about a quarter mile, then slows to a stop. victory? i remember what vencil smiley once told me "hot pockets, never count your chickens before they move out of your house and get a full time job." i focus, i know god can be tricky. i'm gaining ground on the engine, and only half a mile to our separation point.
at almost the exact moment that i pass the engine i hear the breaks release, this fucker means business. i'm just a quarter of a mile from the goal, and i have a safe three hundred yards on the machine, but i can hear him loud and clear. this train wants to win. about fifty yards from the finish i realize that i'm sprinting...thinking maybe i'm a little carried away. just as i make the turn i hear the whistle blow, but i've won by a clear second and a half.
i like to think dinah blew the horn in honor of my victory, it probably had a little more to do with the fact that an intersection was rapidly approaching and all trains blow their horns there, but i figured i deserved a favorable mis-interpretation.

that may be a metaphor, but now that i've bothered to relate it, it just seems confusing. realize i decided to write about that while it was happening, and it seemed like a much better idea then.

in response to your deal: i must explain that i make no title distinction between "friends" and "more than friends". the two are not all that different for me. you are my friend, and i've thought about you a lot. i think your changing faster than you are prepared for, and i know you'll handle it fine, if you remember to think.

i'm here and i'm very versatile. office hours are flexible, call whenever necessary.

One Sided Saga Pt. 3

Re: it was a Sat. early morning, but a Fri niteMonday, December 3, 2001 8:58 PM

well then.
my weekend was a wonderfull time, but the week started off badly. about one day a month i just don't have the energy nor patients my job requires, so it makes for a tough day. today was such a day.
but hey, i'm alive and tommorrow will be much better. except for the fact that we have our center christmas party tommorrow night, and i have to deal with all the family members that never come any other day of the year.

as for performers thats a good question. i'd have to say roger clyne, of the arizona peacemakers. just something about his songs and stage presence. i've only seen him live once but hey, it was enough. have you ever seen mariah live? did i spell that right? i can't think or type tonight.

do you read much?

later,
brandon

Uplift Novels - David Brin

Back in June when I went to Kansas for a family reunion I got to raid my old book collection.  I am a re-reader.  If I loved a book the first time around, I generally want to and will read it again.  This perplexes my father and other readers I know.  My dad's argument is that you already know all the characters and plot events, and unless your memory is awful, with the amount of unread books in the world there is no reason to revisit previously read books.  I understand this point of view, but I guess we differ in that to me the act of reading isn't just about learning who did what to who.  I don't really think this is why my father reads either, but perhaps it does explain why he turns a page faster than anyone I have ever met.  Having established the objections and the proclivity I resume raiding my the book collection at my parent's house.
I knew long before this trip that Intended to grab all six novels in the two uplift trilogies by David Brin.  One evening I was telling Angie about the books, something cute about dolphins in the books I'm sure, and I was suddenly overwhelmed with the desire to revisit the series.  I originally read these books sometime in the years of 2000 & 2001, or as best as I can recall.   The first time around I started with the second set of three, which had more recently been published.  After finishing the second trilogy I turned around and read the first one.  This time around I really wanted to approach them in published order.
I've now completed the first trilogy and started in on the second.  I'm having a blast diving back into the universe Brin created.  I barely recalled reading "the uplift war" the first time around, I must have been drinking in the bath tub for the majority of it.  I remembered enough bits towards the end to know that I finished it, but I didn't even recall the plot.  Perhaps in addition to not reading as fast as pops I might not have the same steal trap memory (oddie, I do happen to have his internal clock).

I would summarize the plot and all the great stuff, but the internet doesn't need that, read it here.

A Continuing One Sided Saga pt. 2

I decided to only print the messages I wrote to this girl, because it's more fun for your mind if you have to fill in the other side. As a side note, I have not re-read these messages prior to posting, and I won't read them until I post it. I'm guessing there is going to be no great ending to this story unless I fill in the details with the real life portion of the tale. Even then I would have to embellish for it to be great. Subject: oh me, yes now it all comes back.Friday, November 30, 2001 6:31 PM

lets start the profanity!

actually, I have a rule with forwards. for every forward you send I require an original email of some sorts, so I hope your either selective or creative.

nothing earth shattering to add at the moment. a long day of playing with the old folks has taken it's toll. must re-group.

do you have a favorite album?

maybe, yes, end on a question?

brandon

Progress

My Brother's Daughter

I went looking for this particular poem in my email because it popped into my head the other day when I posted lost poem number 3.  This was originally intended as a lyric to a song from a solo album that never got past the lyrical stage. This was an ode to my brother Devin, and perhaps I was trying a little to hard to be modern, but at the time I suppose everything did feel pretty new and modern and cutting edge. In retrospect this was a personal type of cutting edge, many other people had come to the mountain before me.



under the influence, my drag sibling,
tearing apart the farmer in me,
i have no perspective, my frame of reference
for ever enlarged and drastically different,
my thank you is admittance,
that you are in your own way cool,
i can tell the difference

much more brother sister
my bigger baby sitter,
i can tell the difference

i am my brothers daughter
thourough through and modern
like a jigsaw dress up doll
missing all my pieces
i am my brothers daughter
taught to be a bother
a blow up tranny elvis
lesson one in selfish

video of kid-hood
pop goes the culture
imagined,
replayed on tv,
these un-necessary brodcast,
fussing up the way i think,
unrealing expectations,
so i know the world owes me,
and i if i could only concentrate,
my eyeline lines could be drawn straight,
help me brother, why these shaking hands of ours?

One Sided Saga Pt. 1

I'm reading through my old email inbox for things to archive here.  It's easier today than writing something new and I find these historically a bit interesting, to me.

This email is one I sent to a girl I met at a bar one night in Kansas City.

11/21/01

megan....
well, lets begin with a little reminder. it was fairly tame night at tanners. you and your friend sarah sat at the far left end of the bar. drinking, laughing and general appearing to need nothing from the other patrons of the bar.
all the while i sat with my friends, telling each other the same stories we tell each other every other weekend(or was it really a week night? yes, a monday come to think of it.). our conversation drags on, and i become aware of the two of you. so i observe, and wait till the medicine takes. it doesn't take long.
when i approached you and your companion, i did not do so with some half developed plan to take you both home, i did so just for a little conversation. which your were both kind enough to provide, and exceed expectation by being pleasantly interesting. infact i was shocked to find out you sing. odd as it may seem i don't meet alot of people that use the creative portion of their brain. so to get a cheesy compliment aside, i was impressed.
if your having trouble with recollection, my name is brandon, blonde hair + glasses? hope you remember. if not, i can assure you i said wonderful and exciting things. (careful, sarcasm doesn't show up in email)
so how's that for an introduction? ramble enough for you?
if you choose to respond to this, please let me know how your singing wit da band is going. gigging anytime soon?
if your board and in need of a laugh you can check out my own meager contribution to the music world at: http://www.mp3.com/snos
os kays... not wishing to intrude unwelcome like in your life, brandon
many good returns.

Lost Poem no. 3

I found a little poem I had written at some point in the last four years.  I put it in my wallet and it's been there ever since.  To get it out of my wallet I will now transfer it here.

No Title



Waking up the blood
can be the hard thing between
what could be and was
clearing out the sludge
making room for new things
it seems so beyond above

Goodbye Weekend