Dead Writers

JD Salinger died. I was thinking about him two days before he died, I thought it was about time that he would die, and that he might then finally share some of the things he's been writing all these years with the rest of us.

Howard Zinn Died too. Hoagie told me to read his work "A People's History Of The United States" a couple of years ago. I meant to but I haven't yet. Today on my friend Bett's blog she posted a link to the entire work online. Friends, family and secret admirer's I invite you to read it with me, for free!.

Exciting! We can all discuss as we go along.

Making Music

I've been lusting after a piece of gear lately. It's a Zoom R16. I very small, plastic device that can record up to 16 tracks of digital audio. I have a device that can do this already, but it is now nearly 10 years old. That device is the fostex VF16, and it has served me well and I have loved it at every step. This week I took that device into the bedroom of our apartment and have started building a new version of an old song the way I used to, track by track with me, an instrument and a microphone. It's been a very revealing experience. I and that when I'm not sitting in front of a computer, watching a wave form write onto my computer screen as I record that I lose my self much easier. Rather than watching the computer display scroll by with the large measure counter, always showing me where I am in the song, I am in the song playing it. It has become far to easy for me to go through a new song section by section, often looping 8 measures at a time and just playing it until I get it right once. This is embarrassing to my old self. I always chose to play each instrument, all the way through the song until I could play it right, because I told myself that each part I learned to play right made me a better musician. Somewhere along the way I stopped focusing on that. There is no justification for it, I never got the level where I felt I had achieved so much as a musician that I should give myself time off for good behavior. I came across a quote yesterday which I loved. "Amateurs practice till the can get it right, professionals practice until they can't get it wrong." Oh so true.
Back to the gear lust. The zoom device updates my current multitracker, and it costs half as much as what I paid for the device I currently have 10 years ago. It uses removable, silent memory cards where the old one uses a noisy hard drive. My old device could only record at 16 bits, where the zoom will give me 24. The zoom is absurdly portable, but perhaps a bit flimsy and can function off battery power, where the fostex cannot. The greatest update that I will gain if I am able to purchase the new device is that I can easily transfer files back and forth between my computer's Digital Audio Workstation and the Multitracker, something that I can not currently do.
Ultimately this new device won't fix all my problems but I have realized something this week. In recording songs the most important part of the chain has nothing to do with the gear you choose to capture it on, it simply comes down to getting a great performance. There are thousands of examples of songs recorded in less than stellar fashion that endure the test of time because they are well written, superbly performed pieces and they communicate something deeper to the listener. There are many songs being made today that sound absoulutely amazing when you first hear them, because they are completely perfect in every which way, and all the sounds jump out of the speaker and bash your inner ear, but I believe many of these songs rely too much on modern shock and awe production and once the initial vibration dies down all that we will be left with is an absurd ringing in our ears.

I started recording music cause it's fun and I liked to write songs. This week as I simplified the recording process all the fun I used to have started flooding back to me again. Within the next month I hope to update to the Zoom r16 and continue the positive flow of vibration.

Stranger Strange

I was listening to some of the tracks from Albino Elephant the other day and I decided I wasn't at all happy with a couple of aspects of a song called "Stranger Strange". The version I have was recorded live and in a hurry since it was originally a New Years Day present for my friend Courtney. There was a tempo stutter in the beginning which undermined the entire song. Since I had always really liked the potential for the song, and it's a fairly simple number I decided I should take a stab at re-recording it for Albino Elephant.
Monday night after Angela fell asleep on the couch I did a guide drum track in cubase and sped the tempo way up. I dumped the drum track to the 16 track and moved the machine and a microphone into the pink bedroom. I scratched out a rough guitar track and vocal and even experimented with the mandolin some.
It felt nice to be working on something that I was completely in control of. I really like the idea of working on my computer in cubase, but more often then not it's an exercise in complete frustration. I love technology and computer based recording has come a long way and it will only go further, but I need my shit to work. To be working on a song and have my flow come to a screeching halt because my computer takes a dive is heart breaking.
I have ideas on how to improve my set up, but as always they cost money. For now I have decided I'm just going to keep things simple and forget about the world and expectations. I'm happy when I'm recording music. I don't need any one's approval and I don't need to reinvent the wheel. I don't have to be working on an astounding song that would blow up any one's skirt in a night club. I just need to communicate with myself in that way, and for now it's happening in a pink bedroom, in the late evening, with a few instruments and a microphone.

Stranger Strange by S no S

The version above is the first version of this song. I recorded it in the days before New years day 2001. It was essentially a song taking poetic liberty with adventures which I had with my friend Courtney. As I started re-recording I found I didn't really like all the lyrics that much and I started to rewrite them as I went along. Stranger Strange has now become a song about the cross roads. In the coming days I hope to have the new version done enough to post here.

ps. this is my 700th blog post here.

why don't you ever get to sing?

Easily More Than You'd Ever Need

Lushing (Ronnie and Brandon barely live) by S no S

Hello and good morning. I'm feeling good today, I had been a bit frustrated the past couple days. I hadn't felt like I was getting anything done on any of my projects and work has been a big pain in my ass. I'm better today though and I feel like I can keep my momentum going through the weekend and perhaps make meaningful progress on things. I realize that it's childish to let my own problems add up on me while there are massive calamities and catastrophes going on all over the world. I feel for Haiti and those effected by war, unemployment and hunger.

I'm posting a track my uncle and I once recorded along with this blog because I'm trying to spark myself to finish the S no S "Ends" project. Feedback helps my motivation, so by all means comment. The track above was recorded in Big Sound Studios in Hays, KS. I was playing guitar and singing and Ronnie joined me on the mandolin. I had originally thought it would be part of the Albino Elephant album but now I have started to majorly revamp that disc and I'm not so sure it fits. It will be included in the final release most likely as some form of a bonus.
When I get down on myself I need to remember how much work I've already put into this project, and that finishing it would make me feel very accomplished. There is a lot to be done, including finishing the companion book, and then re-writing it. It can and will be done. To be able to make it real and feel like it is safe and that the work I've done will be safe and accessible is a feeling worth pursuit.

Last night Angela, Chris and I went to the artwalk downtown. Since the last time we went the Artwalk has now really taken off. It was incredibly crowded last night and there was a lot more going on. I'm proud of that event and the people who worked so tirelessly to make it happen. They have really accomplished something.

Of New and Same Things

Rain again; this lovely atmosphere. My fingers are cold in here as always. I'm not in the best mood, but I have no justification for unhappiness. I went for a swim last night. Nothing makes me feel less coordinated than swimming. Swimming for me is prolonged sinking.
I miss playing my guitar loud. I would like to weld metal.

Out of the Ordinary and Into Routine

Last night I felt great when I got off work. I had a long bad day, I was tired and a bit hungover all day long. Once I found myself in my car, speeding home on the freeway I felt great and alive all out of the abyss. When I arrived home Chris and Angela were sprawled out on the couch, dead from a day of working out, swimming and then shattering both of their diets. I refused to join them in their sloth and gluttony, for the moment. I changed and went to the Gym where I worked my chest, shoulders and abs. I came home and showered and asked the two couch slugs if they wanted to go for a drive. We decided to go up to the observatory and then down to the pantry to eat. The observatory is closed on Mondays, but you can still wander around the grounds and enjoy the stunning, twinkling view of Los Angeles. I put fifty cents into on of the telescopes and was proud of myself for being able to find the theater across from Chris' house, and Angela was able to even read the posters of what movies were playing, several miles away. We watched the city twinkle for a spell and then moved on.
We drove down Normandie to Wilshere, a route that is only fun in the evening as Normandie can bottle neck is some idiot wants to turn left down streets a person has no business visiting. We took Wilshire downtown and then did the backwards one way dance till we parked across from the Pantry.
The Pantry is LA Tradition, there are no locks on the door and it has never been closed since 1924. The freeway forced it to move in 1950, and when they moved they served lunch at the old location and dinner at the new, and they've been going ever since. During the 1994 earthquake when power was out, they cooked by candle light to cover breakfast. We had a random sampling of dishes between the three of us, and even I broke my diet. It was fun though, and after my last two body busting workouts I feel fine about my dalliance with the darker forces in food. My favorite of all the dishes was the french toast.
After dinner we drove to Pershing square and walked around. We watched the Los Angeles ice skaters and had a bit of a chuckle at their expense. Pershing Square is no longer the den of Hustler's from "City of Night". It's secure and reasonably clean. Downtown Los Angeles has come such a long way since I first moved here. It's nice to not feel in peril all of the time while moving about it, but I miss something of the grit of a dead city.
We recently revisited the movie 500 Days of Summer, and Angela had been curious where the main guy character's favorite spot in the city was. We walked up Olive to 4th, where the park benches they sit on in the movie are located. The park was locked, so we admired the view of the view they admired, and finally back to the car we went.
We drove Broadway through Chinatown, and we all remarked how much we like Chinatown and how we need to spend more time there. Broadway lead us across one of my favorite bridges, taking us out of Downtown, into Mission Junction where I made a left on Pasadena. From Pasadena another left took us to San Fernando and into Cypress Park, and Glassell Park, and Finally back into Atwater Village. I drove us around the quiet streets of Atwater for a spell, and then home. Very active and out of the ordinary for us on a Monday night, I settled down then on the couch feeling relieved and relaxed, soon finding myself sleepy and into the bed.

Normalcy is now back on me. I arrived at work at the same time as one of the Technicians. He had brought with him a friend of his who will be helping us out for the next couple months. It's show season and we are once again a flurry of activity. I checked my morning email and generated an invoice. I had three full cups of coffee and a handful of pistachios for breakfast.
I assigned all the technicians to their various tasks and sent them away. I settled in and began my round of news and blog readings. I chatted some with Devin to let him know I was disappointed not to read anything new from his blog this morning. I realized I was a being a bit unfair since I had not blogged today myself.

Tonight I will swim, hopefully it won't leave me feeling as sore as it did last week, but if it does that is fine too.

The Love of a Park

Weekend mornings when I don't have to work Angela likes me to sleep in. She will flat out insist that I not get up before Nine. Angela herself gets up between Five and Seven, assuming that we didn't party too much. These weekend days, like most days begin with her familar exclaimed question: "coffees?". This is generally the first thing I am aware of in the morning. It's a plea, it's short hand, it means "Brandon you know that I am unable to function in the morning at all without the that most wonderful of beverages coffee. I would very much like to have a cup so that I may get out of bed and clean and organize things the way that I like them. I have many projects to start and I'm so close to being able to do them, yet my eyes are welded shut by the residule force of sleep. If you will kindly get up and make a pot of coffee, I will get up and get to work while you sleep." I have come to like this morning call for "coffees". I am a blessed sleeper, I can and do fall into sleep very easily. I know how many people struggle with this, and I don't wish to rub their noses in it but I am just made this way. So I make the "coffees" and I go right back to bed and fall quickly back into a deep satisfying sleep, and I'll continue in this slumber for anywhere from one to five hours. Occasionally Angela will take a running leap and fly onto the bed to make sure I'm still breathing and because it makes me giggle. This is the way that it goes on weekend mornings around our apartment.
Yesterday was one of these mornings. Angela was up before Six, and I finally got out of bed around Ten. I ventured out to the living room, said hello to the kitties and poured myself a cup of coffee. It was a beautiful morning and I quickly decided that I wanted to go for a nice long run in griffith park. I conferred with Angela about our plans for the day and the chores to be done. I had a small lists of domestic tasks and we had plans for the evening. I was pleased and began to dress in my shorts and a T-shirt. I filled a large bottle of water and enjoyed a bit of maryjane and I was off.
I leave the car in the parking area at Mineral Wells. I have been making an effort to stretch before working out. I walked into a large clearing of green grass, the sun was shining on me. Each ray of the sun that touched my skin sent a relaxing wave through my being. I started to slow my breathing and stretch.
I started slowly up the steep hill that leads towards Mount Lee. My legs burned a bit but not bad. After Two Hundred meters the incline tapers off some and I started to increase my pace. My mouth was dry so I decided that I would change routes and run around the old Toyon Canyon landfill and stop at the only freshwater drinking fountain in the upper parts of the park. This Drinking fountain is a favorite discovery of mine, I'm sure there are not many who know where it is.
After a big drink and wetting my head I was off, up the back of Mt. Hollywood and over it's peak to a the look out point on the southern end. A stunning view of los angeles. Stopped there to catch my breath and acknowledge that I am now completely in love with this gift from Griffith Jenkins Griffith to all of us. A park of this natural beauty doesn't make up for shooting your wife in the face and only serving two years, but it's a nice attempt at atonement, and I appreciate it all the same.
The run down from the peak is a gift from gravity which I fought all the way up. Letting my body fall and my feet keep me upright. Amazing feeling.

Rewriting is Trying

I'm feeling amazing today. The combination of exercise and Friday are treating me nicely. I don't mean to be smiley and ridiculous, I'm sure it sounds annoying some folks, but I'm not going to feel fantastic and not blog about it, if only to counterpoint all the times I've been tired and blogged about it. Last night I ran a solid 5 miles, at nice pace through the darkened streets of Atwater Village. I was a bit stoned and I had my headphones on, listening to the album "Prick", by "Prick. When I walked in the door Angela looked at me and said, "My god, you really do love to run. You always look so spry when you walk in afterwards." I nearly blushed but it's true. There is something primal about running and pushing my body, it connects me to myself.

After a nice dinner and a couple of episodes in my on going revisiting of the 6ft under series, I sat down and began to actually revise and rewrite the "More Possible Than Perfect" manuscript. It was slow going, I ended up rewriting several sentences and paragraphs on the back of the typed sheets. I enjoyed the work, but I recognize that re-writing is going to be a labor for me. This type of work is not something that comes easily to me. I have always believed in the initial burst in all creative endeavor, musically my entire goal has been to become proficient enough to pull of something close to finished the first time out, thus eliminating the drudgery. I realize now though that there is benefit form a look back and rewrite and re-visit. I may need to really structure a period of time for re-writing, because I don't trust myself to do it any other way.

Speaking of Prick, I really must blog about that album and "concentration" by Machines of Loving Grace.

Fit

I am taking number one on my list of of things to do in 2010 pretty serious, and since the year is already seven days old I think it's safe to say that I will continue. I am always surprised by the way in which my mind and it's governing desires function, it's so easy for me to eat an absurd amount of cake or chocolate, but once I have decided that I want to feel better and look nice it's like a gate slams down between my hand and my mouth. This last until one thing worms it's way in, and then it's very tough to regain my steely composure. For now though I feel great. I am taking very good care of my mind and body. I've decided that a variation in exercise is the theme for my new fitness. To practice this I swam for close to an hour last night; as a result I am extremely sore today in odd places. Tonight I will go for a long run and miss the park and the sunshine.

I was recently given a small supply of medical marijuana. There are two types of mary jane, sativa and indica. Indica is a body high and very relaxing. Sativa is more of a mental high, and rather stimulating. It's been a recent development that in buying weed you can be sure of what you are getting, thanks the dispensaries that now dot this beloved city of mine. In the past I had noticed that different strains would lead me to do different things, in some cases I liked to go for a run or clean out the drawers in the kitchen, but in others I simply preferred to sit on the couch, watch rodeos and cheer for the bull. I have gotten off track, perhaps I smoked some already today. So the strain I was given is 80% Sativa, 20% Indica, and it is oh so nice. I have been indulging in it regularly and I feel pretty good for it. I am getting chores and tasks completed around the house and generally feeling lighter of spirit. Smoke it if you have it and treat yourself well.

Ten in Twenty Ten

1. Be Healthy - I want to eat food that at least lives up to my standard of integrity, and I would prefer to only eat because I am hungry. I want to stretch before I exercise, and create a body that feels good to live in. I want to sleep more and party less.

2. Help bring about my most anticipated album of 2010 - Devin is working on a solo album and I can already tell it will be one of my top 5 favorite records of all time. All the elements are there. Any effort I put into helping Devin complete the album will bring about it's release that much faster.

3. Carefully revise some of the things I have written, and finish writing "More Possible Than Perfect", "Up and Back", And "Tequila Summer".

4. Put Effort into "The Ivy Twines"

5. Don't talk about things that are none of my business, or at least don't talk about them so much.

6. Learn More about Computers

7. Visit my Sister's new home and puppy.

8. Compose and Record a Song for Angela to Burlesque to.

9. Entice people to collaborate over the Internet on music - This includes but is not limited to you Ronnie!

10. Spend money at my local farmer's market.

A Look back at 2009

Late in January of last year I made a list of things to do. I also swore I would get a new tooth brush every month.

I did not use twelve tooth brushes last year. I would guess I used six.

Here was the list from last year:

Without further ado, things to be done in 2009

1. Move to a new apartment with Angela and only Angela
2. set up all my guitars and get them in tip top shape
3. Record a Solo Album
4. Continue to run and exercise regularly
5. Start a fun dance project
6. Learn more about chess and play with other people
7. Stay in book club
8. Explore more of Los Angeles and the surrounding areas
9. Finish my novella
10. Forgive more and love better.


1. Yes! I moved to a new apartment with Angela and Only Angela, and way sooner than I thought I would. Within a month after writing that post we were settling into our new home. Our apartment is fantastic to me. It is the first place that has felt like a home that I have lived in since leaving my parents house. Most of my other places resembled den's of ill repute.

2. I did not set up all of my guitars. I did however get them a brand new stand and I have them all lined up and out of their cases. Some could use a set up and a tweak, I hope to get to it this year. One day I'd love to pay someone to do this task for me.

3. Record a solo album. Well, i have recorded bits and pieces here and I'm assembling a large S no S project which will include a new album. I suppose I didn't see this goal all the way through yet, but I made positive steps.

4. I suppose I did exercise regularly last year, but towards the end of the year I let up a bit more than I would have liked. In the coming year I will improve. I don't believe I will even list this on my new list, but I may modify a fitness goal. Exercise is once again a way of life for me and I feel confident that it will continue to be so.

5. I didn't exactly start a fun dance project. There are irons in the fire though and we will see where they lead.

6. I learned more about Chess and taught Angela to play. I taught her to well though and she beat me a couple of times.

7. Stay in book club. I am reading "A Fraction of the Whole" for book club this month.

8. I have explored more of Los Angeles, and I will continue to explore.

9. Finish my Novella. I have not finished my novella. I worked on it more.

10. I have forgiven and loved but who's to say it was more and better, only the best I could do at the time I was doing it.