Most Eventful

So I'm thirty now and it's better than anyone ever lead me to believe. everyone I know, with the exception of 2 people have been lying to me about what it's like to get older. It is totally frickin awesome and you get to pet dolphins. Yes. Thats right. You get to pet dolphins when you turn thirty. Everyone whines about how your body doesn't work like it used to anymore and yada yada yada. It's all bullshit. It's simply a cover they use to hide that fact that when you turn thirty you get to pet a dolphin and they don't want to share that because it's awesome so they make aging unappealing in hopes that some people try and pull some peter pan stuff and not age. Thats the logic of us oldsters. We are tricky and selfish. We've been around this block and that block and we've seen the truth. We have petted the mystical dolphin and it is good. we have been to the other side and come back with the faint smell of seafood on our hands and our hair still wet and we are wanting to keep these feelings for ourselves.

Seriously, everyone turn thirty tomorrow and I promise that within 72 hours you will get to pet a dolphin. If that doesn't work for you than you probably didn't turn 30. Or your girl friend doesn't rock. One of those two things is the problem.