Laura Irene Tregellas

My Grandmother on my Mother's side passed away this morning. She went peacefully in the world and peacefully in the thoughts of those who love her.
As a young child I knew of grandma Irene peripherally. She lived in Pratt, Kansas, which seemed thousands of miles away from the farm where I grew up. My earliest recollection of Grandma is a car pulling into the shady spot beneath a large tree that bordered the yard of our farm house and coming to a stop. I knew that my Grandma was in that car. I know that I had previously been in the presence of this woman, but later in life memory is what counts. I didn't until this point really remember her.
Grandma Irene remained to me somewhat of a mystery her entire life. Much like I'm sure all grandparents do. It's very difficult to try and understand the daily reality of generations far removed. When I was Ten years old Grandma had moved to Hays, KS, just 40 miles away. Around this time my mother started to attend weekly meetings on Wednesday nights in Hays as well (as a family aside, isn't it odd that Devin and I would end up living in a house within 50 ft of where Mom used to go for those meetings?). The logistics of farming, working and advanced education my siblings and I were unable to stay home with our busy father on those Wednesday nights. We would spend those evenings with Grandma Irene in Centennial Towers. Mother would drop us off with money to order Domino's Pizza. It was on those nights that I first began to know Irene as a person instead of a Pro-noun. We would eat our pizza and whatever cookies grandma managed to pull out of the odd places she seemed to stash her food (was a that a throw back to poverty?). We would then go for a walk around the grounds. Once I think I even tried to skateboard there, oh how that must have frightened her.
Sitting here today in north Hollywood in a rainy office I'm feeling grateful to have spent those nights with Grandma. She was very patient and gentle. The world she lived in was so simple, she seemed to appreciate everything. I know that life wasn't really like that for her always, but she didn't show it to us at all as far as I can recall. I just remember how she could see beauty in an ugly doll, and marvel at the worst channels on television. Watching us kids on those nights were a blessing, and in some ways penance, maybe she understood why my mother needed to go to those meetings, and what her role in that had been. Maybe she didn't know, I don't really care I guess. I'm just glad it worked out the way it did.

I learned the news of her passing this morning from my uncle Ronnie, in gmail chat. That may seem crass but it wasn't. I passed the news on to my sister Adrienne in the same way. Adrienne located mother, talked to her and then passed on the telephone number to me where she could be reached at her Sister's house. I called and spoke briefly with my Aunt Sharon, and then with my mother. All three of her children were serene. I found out from Mom that Devin didn't yet know, so I called him and called him till I reached him. I was worried that it might upset Devin more than anyone else, as he seems to have a deeper connection, but he is heartier than I sometimes give him credit for. As I think about Grandma this morning I think about my family, and how fortunate we all our to be in contact with one another, no matter what the context.
We all come from her, and we will all one day go to her.