One Sided Saga Pt 12

[ No Subject ] Thursday, December 27, 2001 11:12 PM

oh my.
i tried calling a couple times tonight. but alas, to my great disappointment, as you very well know, i was unable to reach you. too bad really, it seemed i was full of incredibly witty and poignant things to say, so instead i tried to write songs expressing the pain and anguish one feels at growing up a white male in urban western kansas. as of this writing it's not going so well, but i do believe i've achieved the guitar tone necessary to convey my thoughts.

that being said, what would be a practical time to reach you? i was beginning to wonder if either of us actually existed, so i thought maybe it would be best to branch out into another medium. and everyone loves the phone.

i remember once, when i was in seventh grade, a friend of mine, mike, a very straight laced kid(he's in law school at ku), called me at nine o'clock with a proposition, he'd been hearing stories at school about crazy all night phone conversations. needless to say he was filled with envy, how dare all his class mates get wild kicks on the phone. so his proposition was that the two of us should talk on the phone all night! oh, the tales we'd tell the next day at school. he could just see it, both of us dead tired, drowsy and whining all day long. "why mike? why brandon? why are you so tired?" "on the phone? all night?" "what did you two talk about?" oh wouldn't they all like to know. as it turned out after about 30 minutes of gossiping about our friends, at 9:30, i hear a click...dead silence. come to find out the next day at school that mike had heard a noise, assumed it to be his father, hung up and immediatey feigned sleep. after that scare he was too frightened to call back. to think back on it now, it's a very special imagined memory, to see mike tucked in bed still reeling from his exploits. i think the whole story is a metaphor or something, but i'll be unavailable for comment on the symbolic aspect of my anecdote. this doesn't even come close to the time mike and i camped out in my parents motor home drinking mountain dew with coffee crystals mixed in.

i think that was probably one long run-on sentence. i apologize if it makes no sense, but i would never push the send button if i were to go back and edit any of my emails. even using the speel check feature can sometimes be too much.

friends are a funny thing. wow, i'm ultra profound! i know how i think you feel though. my friends, i love them to death, but they can take their toll. i may just be paranoid, but sometimes i feel like my friends' greatest pleasure in life comes from watching their close friends fail. i know it's not all true, and maybe it's a male bravado thing, though none of my friends are overtly masculine, but they just seem to pay a lot more attention to the things that are not going well for someone.

cigarettes? nope, i tried a couple of times, but i could never get properly addicted. every once in a great while, in the midst of serious binge drinking i'll beg dan for one, and he'll refuse to give it to me because he knows i'll only take a few drags proceed to not inhale and then put it out. i once bet dan 20 bucks that he couldn't go a year without smoking. to my knowledge he made it the whole year. he wouldn't let me pay him the money, but he did go right ahead and start smoking again. thats dan.

i'm brandon and i'll be in touch. i think maybe i'd even like to see you sometime, my mental picture of you is changing quickly from a girl i met at tanners to a string of randomly informative emails. busy this weekend? oh, bitter sweet tragedy.

10.25 in 1:35

One Sided Saga Pt. 11

christless Tuesday, December 25, 2001 9:02 PM

i respectfully declined the invitation to attend church with the fams. it would have just annoyed me to the point of anger. other people can do what they want, just don't expect me to respond at the Christian roll-call.

i wouldn't say i'm a jealous person, i've come to the point where i feel confident with who i am and what i'm capable of, if my feelings/attractions for someone are ignored or go unrequited...oh well. it can suck, but i'm young and this is a very large world. my two year relationship was great, until the end, then it just wasn't happening. she went away to go to college, and that pretty well did it. we kept it up for most of the first year she was away, but it just started to drag. i suppose all told it was almost three years, but the last three months hardly count. it really began different then any other relationship or near relationship i've ever had. we just really liked being together, we never bothered to talk about weather or not we were dating or exclusive or what. the first two years i just never felt like being with anyone else. then things just changed. other people started to appeal to both of us, and in the end we were both unfaithful. as far as indiscretion goes we were both fairly harmless, but it was enough to let us know it was over. we email infrequently but i don't see her very often. i saw her in october and found out she's getting married. we had a great talk, and i'm very happy for her.

lets talk about age later, i'm windy tonight and i haven't even talked about jesus's b-day. what i got... bongo drums! i just didn't have enough things that make noise. william s. burroughs "naked lunch". gabriel garcia marquez "love and other demons" electric razor. personal hygiene rules. paints, brushes.

what did you get? did you have a good day?

and as a final surprise:

cool orange blue sky dull grey water waves a while time saved frozen

and since i'd rather feel summer:

sand scratch between toes a salt water soothing cool leaving shore behind

haiku is tough, merry ex-mas, brandon

Saga Interruptus

Hello internet! I trust you are well and full of many wondrous items. I have been hiding from your in my past and for that I apologize.

Turbo Sunshine had a show recently, on Sept. 4th and it was good. Here are a few videos.

I've been running a lot this year. I'm trying to maintain a relatively good base of conditioning for the entire year, and hopefully much longer. I have been pretty great about fitness the past few years, but in each year there seems be at least one period of slackassedness that takes me from in shape to out; and I think that is entirely avoidable in my life's current configuration. I'm primarily running these days, with supplemental calisthenics. I would like to get back into lifting of the weights as I had been earlier in this year. It's just not nearly as fun as a good long run. I have found in the past few weeks as I've gotten busier that I'm not able to run as consistently as I prefer, so I'm implementing a new plan of increasing the distance on each run. I've been running in the 6-8 mile range 3 to 4 times a week and I would like to be in the 9-11 range. More on that as it develops.

Our home is nearly finished. I changed the chandelier last weekend and built a new shelf for the laundry hamper and vacuum in the hall closet last week. sometime this week I'll run a network cable to Angie's room for her computer and do a bit more light switch covering. from here on out it's going to be a lot easier. Touch ups here and there and a lot of work on projects.

Simone our previously sick kitty is still a bag of bones, but he seems to be as active as ever and happy. He has me trained to feed him, which reminds me to give him his pill every night and in this way balance seems to be achieved. Frusciante is fat and loves eating the food Simone leaves on his plate. Bettina is happy with everything except the lack of air conditioning in her room. Special attention was paid in the set up of this home to remove vulnerable wiring from bunny height. This makes getting her out of her room and into the main living area a lot easier and hassle free, thus greatly adding to the time she gets to hangout with the rest of us.

Angela is doing well at work, gaining more duties constantly. She seems to be recognized in her company as a valuable asset. I'm proud of her. My work has been pretty busy these past few months. With technician's on the east coast for the Daily Show's coverage of the RNC and DNC I found myself having to actually be out in the field working on a small telethon. Not fun.

I have switched mobile phones and providers. I will now look to see if they make any nice apps for blogging on blogger from and android device.

and now, back to the past in progress.

One Sided Saga pt. 10

purple laze Saturday, December 22, 2001 12:45 AM

how old do i feel? right now, four hundred and seven. it's been a long week, and everyday it's been "well, i can go to bed early tomorrow." now, when i should be going to bed, i have no reason to put it off any further, i refuse to give in simply because i don't have to get up in the morning. i never feel much younger than 22, thats probably a good indication of my youth, refusing to recognize how green i really am. some days i feel really old, but not wise. my perspective on age has been severely bent this last year. i'll qualify that statement someday.

i've been in k.c. almost a year. sometime this month, in fact it may be my one year anniversary today, or yesterday. prior to k.c. i lived in l.a., but the great magnet had other ideas. i grew up in western kansas, on a farm outside of a small(less than 100 people) town called paradise. i can't imagine having grown up anywhere else, the memories i have from this time in my life are the most beautiful thing i know. be that as it may, the greatest thing that ever happened to me was moving off the farm to a town of twenty thousand called hays, kansas. many aspects of hays make my blood curdle, but to compare education and experiences, with those i would have had staying in a 1 horse town put it in a different light. hays is still a one horse town, but the horse was mister ed with a penchant for grain alcohol.

what kind of terms are you and the "ex" on? my longest relationship was an indefinite two years, i can't imagine four.

are you a jealous person?

to be dead for the next fifteen hours, brandon

One Sided Saga pt. 9

the near future is always just ahead Wednesday, December 19, 2001 11:54 PM

i should make a habbit of calling people silly more often, it has a nice effect.

i thought we discussed the age issue, but i guess i'm really not positive how old you are either. i happen to be twenty two, and i kind of enjoy that. it's a pretty fine age to be. other stats of intrest.

i like cats. i'm sure your dog is exceedingly pleasant though. i currently have no pets. it was just on my mind because i was playing with the cat at work today.

i drive a horrible car, an 88 nissan pulsar, but we get along. i don't much care about/for cars anymore. living where i do i appriciate having one, but if it comes right down to it, i'd rather not own one. public transportation has a long way to go, and kansas can be so damned incoroprative and cold. also, my car is a gay, with a taste for cross dressing(it wears a bra!).

i currently live with mom and dad. sometimes i cringe to have to tell people that, but only if i actually care about them. anyhoo, i figure i gett of on technicalities of the unfortunate. and it's just a temporary thing while i save money....okay, i'm just a dork. how sad life can be(i think that was sarcasm).

i'm right handed.

i don't know my eye-color, but i've been known to tell people they are grey/green or blue green.

i have an older brother and a younger sister.

i know it's dreadfully immature, but i love few things more than fun. drama is cool, but only if it's really funny, and it's understood it's all a joke anyway.

i'm paranoid about over simplifying.

i love to run. i don't get why alot of people have a hard time understanding this. it clears my mind.

and while i'm being honest, and this always weirds me out, though i wouldn't say i'm at all ashamed, i do, occasionally, from time to time, enjoy the marijuana. i've been told this makes me a bad person. if you're of this opinion, kindly give me a chance at explination before telling me to go straight to hell with all my dope fiend friends.

the i before e except after c rule always gives me problems.

brandon

One Sided Saga pt. 8

not yet near future Wednesday, December 19, 2001 12:56 AM

i've been told i'm very passionate. i suppose i even belive it, even though i don't much belive what other people tell me about myself, in this case it may just be true. i connect most things to my heart and soul in one way or another, any other way of living just seems kind of empty.

that being said, i was at "our" tanners, briefly this evening. it was like crazy packed, so we all left to find a bar you could actually sit down in. it was a fun night, just laughing and telling stories and what not.

work today was very fun, some days i'm reminded of just how cool my job is. we had a group of special needs grade school kids come in today and i took them back to my favorite part of the building, the alzheimers wing, and we all had a ball. most grade school children kind of clam up around residents but these kids were like crazy lovey, giving hugs and what not, i was moved to the point where i was forced to use words like cute and adorable. then when i would normally be getting off work i took a van load full of residents to see christmas lights. it's a fun thing for them to do but i'm seriously under compensated for that amount of responsibility. some days i'm just shocked at the amount of trust the center has in me. i have no real qualifications, a horrible driving record and no medical training...lets send him out to drive a huge van full of people with medical conditions!

i used to have idols, rockstars and things of that nature, certain teachers and my father i suppose. now though i wouldn't use the word idol. i respect a lot of people, but idolatry just doesn't feel right to me. y tu?

would it be out of order for me to call you sometime?

brandon