Dead Flowers

The title is that Rolling Stones song that I love so much. I thought of it cause I was trying to think of a title and it's raining, so I thought of that Alanis song that talks about rain on your wedding day, then I remembered I don't care much for that song so I thought of the Stones' song where you could send dead flowers to the wedding. So there you have it. It' s still pretty random, but not entirely to me.
If the opening paragraph is any indicator, I have nothing to say today, but I'm bored, and I have found that if I don't write here when I have nothing to say I won't think of writing here when I do have something to say, So wade on at your own risk, you have been warned...yet again.
So, as I hinted about, or stated, it is raining today in North Hollywood, It was not raining in west Hollywood, so I did not bring an umbrella. It was also not raining in Hollywood, but when I came out of the subway there it is, this bitch cold rain. So I got wet waiting for my ride. So now I'm sort of annoyed at the whole god/mother nature thing.
Last night I did nothing, it was great. I would like to do nothing again tonight, but I doubt that will happen.
I did practice grady on the acoustic guitar, as well as check out a few other pieces. I've been really unhappy with the way I play Backdoor Jesus live so I was focusing on that a bit, I have a part that is a little rock-a-billy, it was fun. Amy wants to do a holy trinity section in our live shows, with Backdoor Jesus, Guaranteed Used and a yet to be written number. I've been thinking about a dirty acoustic electro hillbilly e.p. called "Rode Hard and Put Up Wet". We have several songs that I think would fit the theme well, and a few in us to be written. Sheesh, such fore-planning.

Ho Hummer

I have Peni5 written on my hand. Luckily I was not Wasted last night so I remember how it got there. Devin and I went to inspect a venue we are playing at next week, The Live Jazz Cafe, in Downtown La. It is rather neato, kind of tiny but we like that sort of thing. The promoter was good, he recognized us from our pictures, which is a decent trait in a promoter, at least it proves they look at the bands they book. Anyway, my had says Peni5 because they write it on your hand at the door, which I think is a pretty funny thing to do to someone.
We were fortunate because we were able to kill 2 bands with one show last night, ours by checking out the venue, and Dusty Rhodes and the River Band, by attending their show. Dusty Rhodes is a band we played with at the cat club last year, I think they were 12, but they got heart and it comes through when they play. They have actually improved a great deal since the last time we saw them. I like to see a band that is so young doing something so well. And I'm a sucker for their songs.
Tonight I believe I will get to do some work on the album and that I will be allowed to sleep well and long. I look forward to this.

back up

The Internet is down in our office today. I am not happy about this. I type in something called a word processor, which has an annoying habit of making my cute word manipulations look wrong. I know that sometime within the next five hours I will be able to copy this into my blog, but I can't seem to touch the connection. I have nothing but time.
I am feeling better today than I felt yesterday, of course I am still rather tired. The effects of this weekend seem to have diminished.
I was able to evaluate my guitar performances last night. Slut Buffet was disappointing, The curse was and encouragement, Guerilla is workable, Guaranteed Used is tolerable, Mondo Di Corpo is confusing but functional, and R.S.O. may be salvageable. It is rather sad about Slut Buffet, I thought for certain that it was going well, in the end it turned out to be a combination problem of the bridge pick up and microphone placement.
Last night we ate in the train car on sunset. I have finally made a solid correlation between long weekends of debauchery and the desire for very bad food the following week. The body is desperately trying to replenish itself.
Devin was over last night. He laid a bass track to High and Tight, and a Keyboard track to Mondo Di Corpo. He also recorded the keyboards for Lady Slipper. Moving along we are.
An odd bit of fortune came our way this weekend. Yvonne found for Devin, at thrift store for $7, a flute, this is wonderful because Devin's does not actually work, and Amy and I promised last June to fork over the $100 to have it fixed. The $7 flute appears to work, but until we record the flute track for Grady I keep my fingers crossed.
I am disconnected here today. If a man blogs in the forest and can not connect to upload it, does he even blog at all?
I feel as if I should do a bit of creative writing to pass the time, but I am tired. It is currently not possible for me to feel like I am ever not tired. I can remember that just last week I was blogging on much coffee, and that I felt energized, but today those memories are not real enough to be believed. It's this ever present exhaustion, the annoying reality of working a day job while trying to accomplish something else, better, in your spare time.
Tonight it would do me well to change the strings on my acoustic guitar. I could then possibly record guitar parts for Grady and maybe even an acoustic part for High and Tight. First of course the messy messy house would need cleaned, and then really the nasty nasty laundry should be completed, of course when all this is done I'll be too tired to change guitar strings and play. So this is the essential hell I've often found when balancing work and separate ambition. While I have actually come to trust and desire the freedom of being able to live from something not connected to my art, allowing me the purity of expression to not need to create because my stomach is empty, I have found that it is constantly repeated hell that I am at work for 8 hours a day, thinking most of the time about the music I would like to be creating, and getting deep into the ways in which I would like to be creating it, only to come home and have too much other life to deal with, or no energy, or that my mood has been mind fucked by a day of drudgery thus keeping me from the space where I could create anything.
This lack of internet can really lead to whining.
I was just thinking to myself that I should probably run the bass line on Guaranteed Used through a compressor. I really hope that I can make the recording of that particular song work, it has always been such a favorite of mine.
I'm really just typing to hear my fingers clatter at this point aren't I.
I have not written a poem in a very long time. I am beginning to find this disturbing, probably just because I have the time, which is actually even more disturbing. I think I shall maybe exercise those less than oft used muscles now.
Suggestion by disconnection,
insinuation regime,
pony hat with blinders,
bound to the team,
teaming with secrecy,
off on the fact,
in service of services,
recorded and tracked,
day dream builder, be-er
the maker believer,
assumption deceivers,
attracting to reachers,
slap hand happy faces the awful truth
buried in bunkers receding from use
one slip symptoms
day trip customs
instead unsung
reused freedom
Math mad creature,
inbred feature,
after thought thinker,
post use teacher,
hindsight glasses,
show off classes,
back pat patches,
bitch slap lapses,
chore boy dealer,
down nose seer,
user re sealer,
mythical separation station

And on to yet another one I suppose. Really, I need to get back in the habit of poems.

The more haggard merry headed back west, distracted by uses that all lead to less, tip toed scales weigh nothing but fractions, more appropriate uses make actual actions. The stigma is shiny and draws the group in, attracted by places the wasted have been, the path of the narrow, and the travel less road, a no brainer of course the discourse of the knows.
comfortable loops repeat in the foreground, patterns are matching to lackings yet not found, perversions accepted and covered in gloss, retrofit formers to cover the loss, stubborn endurance, blessing insurance, a method grown lesson in life.

I could sleep forever

Long time coming.
Friday night, popstars...Boring foolish club, waiting for an aged pop princess to take the stage, decision time, Tiffany is not worth he wait. Back to the house w/ Amy and Daddy, followed by Devin, Marc, Robert, Charmer and Christofuck... Party out of bounds. Walking in the park w/ Robert, I got the story of an awful year, savage beatings at the hands of cars, homophobes and false positives, wrapped up in a sweet Marc end...
Sun shines on Saturday morning, Amy, Devin and I out, like three normal people, Coffee Bean at Hollywood and Orange, great disguise...
On to Runyon Canyon, met again by Bella and Wild. Hiking w/ a video camera... Don't know that I should ever be subjected to the tape.
On the drive to drop Devin in bed we pass a boy who can't out haggle Wild, his greed allows him to part with a punching bag and boxing gloves for a steal.
Devin in bed, the rest Amy, I and ride along to help Wild and Bella prepare their home for a scene. I dig a trench and bury wire ran for Malibu lights. I hang the punching bag. I spare with Wild. I am exhausted. We hang. We go searching for wood for a fire, which magically finds us.
Finally Amy and I relent. We sleep and it is good.
I wake several times in the night, Wierdos calling at all hours. I sleep like a dead baby. I awake, oddly feeling well.
Noah's Bagels, happy carbo stomach.
Load up equipment. Head to Satellite Studios w/ Devin. I crank George's JCM800, Laying down solid tracks for Guerilla, The Curse, Slut Buffet, Guaranteed Used, R.S.O. and Monster. Approximatly half of the guitar tracks for F.A.S., I am surprised at my progress as a guitarist. Somehow I have improved without really noticing. Feeling the amp helps a great deal.
Devin re-records the Bass Line for guaranteed Used through an Ampeg SVT, much more punch and warmth. Very Exciting.
Back to the apartment. Devin ads keyboards and vocals to the new Iw6. Improved to the max. So very exciting.
Amy is at the crack-light tranny bar with Yvonne, I pick her up so that we may indulge in more silly. We do. We go to wahoo's and eat a taquito or two.
Falling asleep during about a boy.
Monday sucks.

After you, Noon...

I am in a mild befuddlement. I have just heard from my childhood's favorite person, whom I have not spoken to in years. It was nice, but I haven't yet had time to really speak with him, as I am here at the office. I sincerely hope that he is still in the mood to talk when I get out of here. I find myself confused...
To follow this and to enhance my sense of strange I was greeted by a letter, written by a friend of mine to Amy and Devin and myself, dated sometime ago, a letter that I had forgotten, but remember very well upon being reminded. The letter was posted on her blog, scant of comment...
What the hell...I'm going to post it here, mainly because I don't want to not remember it:

Date: Mon, 7 Jul 2003 15:42:47 -0700 (PDT)From: "******"To: [my buds in the band, who shall remain anonymous]Subject: this is a message from the Milwaukee County Jail...

What I'm gonna do when I get outta jail? I'm gonna have some FUN! Not sure if you've ever gotten a call or letter from jail, but they stamp them with the warning "this is a call/letter from the Milwaukee County Jail...I got arrested TWICE in TWO NIGHTS for disorderlyconduct. I'd been running a fever all week anddrinking just gallons of booze. It was my biggestbender ever. I even threw a huge tantrum at a hotelin hollywood because they had no ice, and the copscame. Luckily, LAPD have better things to do thanarrest drunks. Milwaukee Sheriffs do not.First, I decided the plane was too hot and I took offmy shirt. When they told me to put it back on Icussed them out. I spit on a guy. They put me inthose little plastic cuffs and I escaped. Thestewardesses had two big fatsos restrain me withblankets, like a terrorist. THen I went DOWN-TOWN, tothe clink. The next day I got out, got drunk, and got on a bus toSummerfest. As soon as I got off the bus, a big fatsheriff asked to smell my drink. I decided to runfrom him. 4 of his big fat buddies tackled me to theground and cuffed me. I got out of the cuffs andtried to run again. They roughed me up and threw mein the squad car. When we got to the jail, all thedeputies laughed at me because I had just been therethe night before. In order to avoid being with theregular inmates, I said I was suicidal. THat turnedout to be a good idea, because I went to this reallyfunny mental unit. And the next day, they sent me toa social worker and he suggested I go to detox at amental ward (separate from jail). I was hoping forlots of nice morphine or something, but all they gaveme was ativan, because I had the shakes.Guys, I was serriously alcoholic without knowing it.As I was withdrawing, I hallucinated, got sweats andchills, and was just generally confused. The shrinks said that with all my drinking and e use,I might have damaged the part of my brain thatregulates my moods and temper. I think that explainsa lot. I'm sorry.I've decided to give this AA thing a go. It pains meto think I'll never have another beer at the Palms,but I think it's the only choice.If you saw my prison underwear, you'd understand myfear.I won't be back to LA in a long time. I'll miss you.Love you.xxxxxx


I miss this friend. We've all been round and around some pretty sketchy blocks together. I have nothing pertinent to say. I told you I was befuddled.

In looking through my email now I just noticed something else... I had a reply to a message that I wrote, to one of my favorite people in my early 20s. The reply is from an email I wrote her 5 months ago, it does not address the questions I had posed. I was vagued by it when I read it this morning.

I am further befuddled. perhaps I need more coffee to understand all of this. There is no more coffee.

I have been bad at keeping up with some folks, and I've been really good with others. Befuddled.

I think I'll probably be learing Neil Young's After the Gold Rush...

Figure that out fuckers. Befuddled.

Speed up

Coffee! Yeah! Sleep! Yeah! Good vibrations! Good weekend. I am happy. I am exciteds.
Devin was over at our's last night, he has reprogrammed The Incomparable White Six, it is about 10 bpm slower and it helps a lot I think. The mood is even moodier and the form is different. I cannot wait to action it out and see how it sounds.
I am going to party tonight and tomorrow and record guitar on Sunday. How is it that I am 25 and able to be such a child with my life? I like that. I do my shit and my shit does me and I'm happy about it all today because I am FULL of coffee and happy.
Rock'n good times.
God. I am really feeling the vortex of finishing this record. I just want it in my hot little hands. There are a few cohesion points that are lost on me again, but I know that those will go away once I hear things with the guitars. I am an silly.

Unrelated Title: Money Can't Sing and Dance

Again and Again, pull up a chair. I'm hyped up on Coffee Bean coffee. In the beginning of this little journal I did an entry on my morning commute, as it has changed a bit I think I'll do another one.
My initial alarm sounds at 6:25, this signals the start of "cuddle time" I know, it's sick, but really I'm like that. "Cuddle time" end abruptly at 6:55. I am fucked for about a minute as a lay there wondering what the fuck that beeping is. Generally the beeping is accompanied by a very harsh meow, this pulls me into the land of the sentient. I usually grab a dirty pair of jeans and pull them on, followed by a frantic search for a shirt. Then it's over to the sock cabinet, I always wonder why I don't put them on before my jeans, when it's easy. Into the bathroom to brush my teeth and avoid looking in the mirror. I generally put on some form of anti-smell product.
It should be noted that since I awake at such a god-horrible hour, I as a practice try and shower the night before. My hair doesn't bother me like it used to, so rather than "brush it" I "trust it", this has really elevated my relationship with my hair, we are pals, we get along.
Through out this mess the cat Henry has been meowing and going head first-kamikaze-style into my legs and any solid object around, meowing and purring, because he mistakenly believes that being cute gets him fed sooner. As a principal I make him wait until I've prepared myself before I give him the heroin (kitty food) that he really wants. After I feed Henry I kiss the person who is covered by a pillow goodbye and head out the door. It is generally 7:02 when I hit the door.
The bus schedule has changed, rather than strolling by as a 217 at the leisure filled time of 7:12, a limited stops 317 zooms by anytime between 7:05 and 7:06.5 . If I am fast I am on it, If I am not, I have a wait of anywhere from 5 minutes to 25 minutes. It should also be noted that my bus stop has changed, since I'm knocking down the time schedule... I now catch the bus at the intersection of Fairfax and Santa Monica.
If I do catch the bastard who drives the 317, I ride with him to La Brea and Hollywood Blvd., from there I walk briskly to the new Coffee Bean at Hollywood and Orange. The coffee ads a wonderful dimension to my morning, rather than sleep on the train, which I will do with out it, I'll stay awake and drink my beverage, and watch everyone else make stupid faces in their sleep.
I made some poor food choices yesterday, and enjoyed them a great deal. I did though go for a 2 mile walk on my 30 minute lunch break, and a 2.5 mile run n the evening. I also practiced my guitar for over an hour. I am a good human, I deserve a treat.

oh blah

Today it was nice till I got to work, now it's just kind of hanging above me. I feel it, the kinetic energy of suck, other peoples bad mood. I drink coffee and type, pretending I was outside, somewhere on the other side of this hill. I'm over the hill. har.
Last night was all focused and shit. Eating at rock and toll hootchie koo koo roo. Cleaning the mess of this weekend's show out of our bedroom. Running, for the first time in ages, it was nice and sharp outside, I didn't feel as horrible and shiftless, I was able to remember the feeling, like riding a bike. Rehearsing guitar parts, simple.
It all leads back against today, and I'm going to have to deal with other people's shit, while my house is clean and my body has been exercised, my guitar parts have been practiced, I have even gone so far as to write here.

Huge in Canada

Devin popped online with a nice IM this morning. Apparently we are being played on the radio in Canada!! Two tracks from our recent single, The Incomparable White Six, including the titular track and the first b-side, Calendar Girl, are in rotation. It is a weird good feeling, not only did we write these songs, but I produced them, in our fucking apartment, with no money at all... Sha La La...

Last night was easy. Amy had a focus group in Encino, I walked a few miles down Ventura Blvd., fun times. I stopped at the Ultra-Legendary Sherman Oaks Gallaria. I walked around and marveled at the beauty of all humanity, converging in one spot, a gateway to the great beyond!! Not really, but I'm jaffy. I did walk through it just cause, and I read some of HST's Hey, Rube, and some of Kurdt's Journals. The Kurdt stuff just sinks me, the guy always got under my being, like he did a lot of people. He ticked a lot like other kids, he was just really lucky and super unfortunate, skizzied with an ear/eye/mind for the brilliant. Fucking head trips.

The weekend was a couple easy pieces. Sunday Karaoke, like footloose, fighting for the right to keep James and Ginny's Convicted at Bananas... Such a fucked up slant, that stupid as bar should be groveling, but instead they are up up up in the air.

Saturday, Voices from the Tsunami... Woah. If we can win over that crowd in our current state of band being we are seriously riding a high and beautiful wave, it picked us up a few songs into our set in Kansas City, and is buoying us on, hopefully into some heavy and great recording... up into some better gigs and more radio, I get a sense that we all need to learn to hold on, fuck if we do and fucked if we don't... Fear and Loathing in America. Watch your back, the people that scratch it get have access your wallet. Fingers are sticky, and clear, they leave no marks that can be seen, only little felt tip pin pricks... okay....

Back at Cha

Another Friday is upon me, I am filled with fresh scent of Friday, it seeps deep into my nostrils, flaring them with rich minty flavors of weekend... Not really, but sort of. I'm rather indifferent about today, I'm sort of sleepy. The weekend is filling up already. I hate plans, they are such a drag.
"Be here at such and such, such and such" It's such rubbish.
Amy and I are going to come clean my place of work for extra cash tomorrow, that is a bummer, but we are broke, so you do what you do, and hope it's enough. After that we have a gig, a Tsunami relief thing, kind of like Band Aid, only at a slutty lesbian bar. How odd is that going to be? We are also scheduled to take a new group photo, rather like a family portrait, for promotional use. I am okay with the photo idea though, because I've shed 15 pounds in the past Eleven days...oh shallow me...
Last night was fun for the most part. I left work and headed to Pit Fire Pizza, which I used to love, as of late they have grown very cheesy cheap with everything, cutting happy hour times, haggling and nonsense... eesh. After a short while I was joined by Amy, then Daddy Wild, then Devin. After dinner we walked up the street to amp rehearsal studio, where we used to always practice. Amp was bad, they caught a case of the cheesy cheaps also, it made me yearn for Satellite Studios and George. We were off in rehearsal, I would find it then lose it, lose it then find it. Arghy. The rehearsal of our newest song, Static Cling, did not go so great, we had some issues with the pattern sequence length, and a I had a hard time finding my part in the midst of Devin's new one, I 'm sure he had similar problems with mine.
Afterwards we tried to go to "Here" but it was not too be.
I got a note from an old friend who is going to be in Las Vegas next month and wants to see me. Are old friends, friends? I started writing a song around that theme, or looping through that them. Maybe I'll be nice and bust a little lyric:
"concrete slab suggestion and I'm weathering the strorm calling in old favors and hoping somebody owes me one old friends ain't friends they got a different name and you can't predict how they'll behave with a passing smile a hug or a hey a vow of love or a punch in the face... oh me...oh me and my memories"

fastbacks

Cranky people annoy me in the morning. I, as a general rule don't take my personal shit out on anyone except those closest to me. And when I say closest, I mean people I'm either in a band with or people I have lived with. Get a hold of your fucking disappointments people, life seldom works out the way we want it to, it's your job not to go around fucking up everyone else's day. If you are unhappy then tell me so, don't be a fuck cunt about it. argh.
sheesh.
I could sleep forever.
We went to see a friend of a non-friends band last night. We were shanghai-ed. Said non-friend brings her bands friend to one of our shows, then prys and prods us to return the favor. We go, we were tired and not wanting to be there, the show was fine, in a whatever way. We leave.
I am thinking about music, really thinking about getting it across, really really thinking about. Coming up with solutions, but I need to be an accountant first. I can not pull the magic thousand dollar rabbit from my hat. I hate it. I am very distressed about certain issues involving our live sound, but for now nothing can be done about them. I sit and I know what would help, and I rattle, I wait. I am Buddha. I yearn for a few simple things, but I am not of the fold. We are stretched in all ways, always. We will prevail.
I could scream, so here I am taking my cranky out here, and I sleep with this blog, so fuck off of it already.

Tomalaberbone

Today's blog begins about nothing, but my back is up because my friend Carrie's blog is way better than mine. She is transcribing old letters, journal entries and crack scrawls, and it's coming across far better than my unbelievable needs.
I am now a member of ASCAP, The American Society of Composers, Authors and Publishers. My publishing company is Believable TV Music. Let the money roll in... Sheesh.
My mail box is small, my physical, federal mail box that is, Yahoo is kicking Uncle Sam's ass when it comes to storage space. I am a child about getting to retrieve the mail, I race my domestic partner for it. I have been expecting a package from my Uncle Ronnie, also more generous that Sam. Upon opening the mail last night I was disappointed to see that it was not there, that is until further inspection proved that it was there, but lodged up in the very top portion, unretrievable by anyone but the asshat who put it there. I am angry. There, sitting in my tiny box is my item, and I can feel it, but I can't have it. Could anything be more annoying to a child who get's excited over the mail than to have your mail in your box but you can't get it out w/out breaking it?
My busses have been running late. I have missed my morning train 5 out the last 7 days. What are these people doing? I don't understand, evev through all of their fucking up I have still managed to make it to work on time, 7 out of these last 7 days. Why do I bother?

Reprieve

The sun has come. I am feeling much better, the effects of this weekend are now, for the most part behind me. I did not sleep much Saturday night, if at all. After the show there was drama and excitement, Amy and I just rode the wave and got along. While it was raining outside it was raining from the kitchen sink in Devin and Dylans apartment, the last thing those boys needed was more water in their apartment. They dealt with it, we visited them late at night. We had fun. Upon returning home Amy and I found ourselves too full of energy to sleep, so we walked out to Fairfax Avenue and caught a bus to Vermont and Fountain, from there we walked up to Sunset and stood singing songs under an umbrella. It was glory. Spent the day, spending a gift certificate at boarders books, we purchased cds. Amy got Ani Difranco's out of Range, and I Local H Whatever Happened to P.J. Soles. In the rain the Abbey was dead, and we sat in the V.I.P. booth and watched it fall...
we wound up the day eating a huge salad at Rocco's, and falling asleep early. All of that is to say that It was fun, and I feel good now.
I have lost 13 pounds in one week.
I have a strange alter-ego.
Tonight we may rehearse in our apartment, focusing on our new song "static cling".

I like the sun.

Sinking

It is really getting bother some, all this rain just keeps coming down. It hates me, if it liked me it would spread itself out, not come crashing down over a two week period... Argh... It's rather depressing.
We had a show on Saturday, in support of our friend Tiger's art. The Location was CAL-State LA, in a medium sized room with almost no acoustic treatment, the natural reverb was really rather fun. The show actually passed as a silent marker to an achievement of which I am rather proud. It was the first time that we performed a show using all of our own equipment. It's not really that impressive, but I am proud that we are a self contained band when we absolutely must be.
We have been fleshing out a new song called "static cling", it is really fucking awesome! I really like my guitar parts, very fun to play.

Half a Mind

Yesterday I had in mind to tell the tale of Nicolaus, the homeless drummer, who I had mysteriously vanished. As my day progressed yesterday my time ran out and I did not get around to it, and it's a good thing, becuase he reappeared. Now I only have to tell the story of Nicolaus, the homeless drummer who disappears and then reappears.
I met Nicolaus on the corner of Santa Monica and Fairfax, while waiting for the 217, he appreciated my good vibes and felt that he should tell me so. I was tired and weary from my last conversation with a homeless, so I accepted his appraisal and quietly boarded the bus. Nick followed me on, I was surprised that he had cash fro the bus fair. He sat on a seat opposite me and turning his back to the window continued our one-sided conversation.
"It's nice to see people with a good vibe, so many people out here don't have it. I'm from Chicago, I moved here to be in a band, but I can't seem to keep it together. It's that fucking crack man. I have moved out here about four or five different times, and every time I was homeless. I could go back to Chicago, and live with my mom again, but I can't do that to her. I told myself that this would be the last time, that I would stay out here. I don't mind being homeless, but I'd like to have a roof. When I moved out here, I had to live in the hills, I knew I would, I wanted all that, now I just want something. Fucking crack. I had 80 dollars the other night, today I got one. I'm done with crack though, it just eats you up. "
I like the way he talks, so I enjoyed listening to his rather ragged sum up of his personal history. I was more inclined to listen to him because of the drummer thing. I gave him 3 dollars when we got off the bus. He asked me where I was going and then guessed correctly that I was going to work. I asked him what he was going to do, he figured he'd go up to the park on Franklin and take a nap.
That night on my way home from work I saw him again. He was beating on coffee cans on the corner of Hollywood and Highland. I said hello but had to quickly board a bus home.
The next evening I had a bag of BBQ Ribs which I was taking home from work, I ran into Nicolaus, and offered them to him. He was hesitant, but when I told him what they were he accepted them.
"Did you guys have a cook out today?"
I told him that my boss had the night before and brought me the left overs, I think he was disappointed. I could feel the Nicolaus had wanted me to have had a cook out that day.
I saw him everyday for two or three weeks after that. On my way out of the subway tunnel I can hear the reverberated beats of his sticks, off coffee cans and pipes.
I have seen him discouraged, and angry because someone robbed him of three dollars. I have seen him high.
When he was high once, or at least I assumed by his manner that he was high, he slurred:
"I call you my old high school friend, that's what I call you."
I thought for a second that he died when he disappeared, and then I hoped that he went home to his mother in Chicago. I avoided him last night when I heard his drumming.

no fun

I am eating better and less. I am not drinking.
Where does energy go? It can neither be created nor destroyed, but it can be given away.
later, energy permitting, I intend to do a little story about the homeless drummer I know who seems to have disappeared.

Look Away

I don't comprehend this death toll. I am going to look the other way for a second and make a list of 10 albums that strike me as super important to my development as whatever it is I am when I'm trying not to look, unrelated as it may be.


1. Catherine Wheel Chrome - I bought happy Days for the single on mtv at the time way down I liked that track and maybe two others but the rest did not grab me. Later I found Adam & Eve used so I decided to give them a second chance. Adam & Eve hooked me, within two weeks I had purchased their entire catalog. Chrome gets me still the hardest. All the energy of their second album with the skill they acquired on the first tour, and the writing is just beautiful. I feel this album.

2. Local H Pack Up The Cats - Music was basically dead for me for a little period of time and this album brought it back in a big way. I had drifted over to softer acoustic based music and apparently it wasn't filling all my need, Pack up the Cats totally brought back the rock.

3. Blind Melon Soup - The words, sounds and melodies on this album are all stuck forever in my head. "And I can't tell you, just how many ways that I have sat and viewed my life today, but I can tell you; I don't think that I could find and easy way. So if I see you, walking hand in hand in hand with a three arm man, I'll understand, but you should have been in my shoes yesterday. "

4. Nine Inch Nails Pretty Hate Machine thru The Downward Spiral - Trent could do no wrong for me from about 1991 until 1999. Music that took adjusting, my ears actually had to hear the songs for a while before they even made sense, once the frame of reference was established the genius was obvious. This is the music that made me want to create sound.

5. The Refreshments Fizzy Fuzzy Big & Buzzy - I bought this album for the song Banditos, which totally appeals to my inner boy. I liked to listen to it while driving around in western Kansas... Then I started to use it as a cleaing cd. As I started to learn to accompany myself on guitar as I sang I found that songs of this alum worked very well for me. I met Roger and Thanked him, and told him that I learned to play guitar from his songs and he said that it's because they are easy. Great guy that Rog....

okay, that was distracting but I'm not doing 10 today...

2004?

It's almost over and done, I have no huge reflections. I liked it. It was hard.

Devin, Amy, Dylan, Robbie and I all traveled to Kansas for the Christmas Holiday. It was very nice. I saw many people I have not seen in a year or two. We drank and ate, we were merry and at times crabby. I love Kansas, I like to see it and remember it.
We played A show that a friend of mine booked for us @ the hurricane. It was fab. Devin hit the internet with a mission and got a great many people to come out. At first we were a little thrown by the sound factor but soon we hit our stride and the people loved it. The biggest moment for me was looking out into the crowd and seeing my friend Jason, who does not dance, dancing!!

I love it all.

I am Under it

K. I am feeling pretty all correct today. I have been focusing on eating better. I have had Five banana's and Two apples in the past couple of days. I have had absolutely no candy. This is important, and you pretend reader will just have to sit there and enjoy these simple facts as this is my blog. And while I am at it, Goddamn it, you just wipe that smirk off your face. Ass Hat!

I have been having a great deal of fun making progress on new songs and on the recording of the album as a whole. It's really amazing how if you keep doing something, in this instance, making recordings, you slowly but certainly get better at it. To date I have made Nine recordings and since I have already played all my online turn based games to the full extent of their daily allowance, I shall list here, my selected discography with special evidence of the advancements in the art of production and technique from recording to recording.

1. The Singe/Plaything Years - These years do not really count for my actual production credit, they mark my learning of the principals of band politics and the basics of playing guitar and writing songs. During this time I had the privilege of being around a very economical, efficient guitar player Joe Lanning. Joe Tried to impart some of his guitar good sense to me, I'm not sure if any of it took. Devin was also in Singe so he was adding to my rather limited knowledge of musical theory at this time also. In addition to Devin & Joe, it was during the Singe years that I came to develop a relationship with my Uncle Ronnie Hendershot, who was responsible for Production on the Singe and Plaything Recordings.

A. Untitled Singe E.P. - This little cdr was my first ever experience with recording in a studio type situation. Our young band all headed to Ronnie's house one afternoon and set up in his basement studio. We played together live with no click. The end result was less than stunning, but when I last heard it about a year ago I was not as embarrassed as I would have expected to be. I did learn in that instance how bad of a bass player we had and how much room I had to improve as a singer and a guitarist.

B. Singe "Transformation Through Decay" - A lofty and mainly un-finished project for the band Singe. This recording contained something like 8 songs which we recorded track by track in Ronnie's studio, Big Sound. This was my first ever opportunity to build an album from the ground up. We began with Devin tracking the drums on his trusty controller, triggering sounds and samples contained in his Alesis DM5. Next, possibly that same evening but I think occurring over at least one other brief session Devin recorded his keyboard parts. I recall Devin, Joe and I being present for the session. After Devin, Joe Expertly tracked his guitar parts with some overdubs for the solos, there was one disappointing moment where I recall Joe really nailing a solo, only for us to realise we had not actually recorded it, Lesson learned about making sure the record button is engaged. We still talk about the solo we lost between Ronnie, Joe and myself. After putting off the un-avoidable as long as we could we had Mike our bass player come in a do a session. He was horrible. I remember looking at everyone else in the room and being certain we were all feeling the same thing, that Mike was done in our band and that it was blatantly obvious. We rushed Mike through every song, One or Two takes each song. If he made a mistake we lied our asses off and told him it was a good take and that the little mistakes could be fixed later with copy and paste. No sooner then we could get him out the door we had Joe hook up one of Ronnie's basses and we re-cut his parts. Sometime around the time Joe did his guitar parts I recall doing a couple, one I remember actually being proud of, a rhythm guitar part on the song cellophane, having never really played or recorded with a tube amp it was a revelation for me to use a small fender that Ronnie had. The vocals were done In a few sporadic sessions. There were several attempts made to get final mixes that we were happy with, and I'm sure somewhere a cdr exists of these sessions, but I have not heard them since the year they were completed, and memory does not even allow me to pin point which year that may have been. While we were mixing the album things came to a head with our bass player, ending with him leaving the fine state of Kansas.
On a fine and spectacular suggestion of Ronnie we replaced Mike not with a bass player, but with a live drummer, and thus Plaything was born. The drummer came in the form of a sweet gentle man named Chris Leon. I recall being really quite nervous when calling his phone number, which Ronnie had given me. I still get nervous when speaking with musicians, like I'm some pretend player always waiting to be un-masked. Chris turned out to be a swell guy and we all loved playing with him. Sadly no recordings were ever made with Chris, other than some rehearsal cassette tapes, one of which I'm sure I have somewhere. Much was learned in that line-up, I learned to let Joe have the room with the guitar, because he could command it where I could not, and I needed to focus on my voice...Which needed all the attention I could give it. Many a great times were had with the Plaything line-up, but huge differences in musical taste led to a the dissolution of the group.

2. The lost years - After Plaything fell down round itself I was left with nothing but college to keep me occupied. Fort Hays Stat University in scenic Hays, Kansas did not hold my attention for more than a semester and a half, but the week I quit the "Harvard of the Plains" did manage to pass onto me something that thus far has shaped my future, and my life. In a local paper I saw an add for a used cassette 4-track for sale. Having just received my tax return from the government I decided to go for it. I was rather surprised to learn that the person selling the machine was a professor who worked at the very school I had just decided to stop attending. When he asked me if I was student I didn't have the balls to tell him I'd quit.
My first recording with the four track was a cover of The Troggs "Wildthing". Joe played the drums on a keyboard and recorded a couple of guitar parts while I tried to scream the vocals.
All the recordings from this period have been lost or mis-placed. I do recall one song entitled "+ Nothing" I used a drum machine given to me by Ronnie, and a distorted keyboard. All my songs at this point were very basic verse and chorus structure, lacking in fills and bridges. I think at the time I lacked the ability to see the end of a project, so I really never got motivated. I didn't realise that I could reach a point with a group of songs that I had written and recorded, and at that point say, "this is done. I am done with this recording in this form. I do not need to have any help from a huge company or anyone more talented than myself. I made this and I am happy with it." It seems really pretty simple but at the time I could not make that leap.
I floated around for a little under two years making bad quality recordings in the basement of the house Devin and I shared. I began to make a little progress, I started making drum loops from records I really liked and I found them to be more inspiring than a drum machine at that point. Four songs recorded in that basement would later see light in the next phase of my development as an artist/producer.
Time in Hays Kansas finally came to an end. Devin finished school and we packed up all that we could fit into our two cars and headed to Los Angeles. I continued my free form floundering in Los Angeles, and I found myself facing yet another obstacle, One that I still deal with more than any other today. The rigors of apartment recording. I hated recording in our tiny apartment in the far west valley. I didn't even feel like I could play the acoustic guitar at a reasonable volume. During this time I learned more about drum machines and keyboards and direct guitar. Anything that could make noise through headphones became an often used tool. A good five songs total came from this period, they would be culled together with the four songs from the basement in Hays, together they formed a foundation for my first realization of a DIY release.

3. S no S (or how I learned to stop dicking around and love mp3.com)

California ended for me the same day dubya wormed his foot into the door of America. I crashed my car and lost the ability to pretend I was enjoying life in the edge of the valley. While not directly caused by Dubya, I'm pretty sure all thinking feeling people will be able to see the connection. And now back to the current de-railment of my blog.
I stuck it out in California for a spell, but soon I decided to pack it up and move to Kansas City. I chose KC because my parents had just moved there and I had no money, it turned out to be a very good thing that I did.
In addition to living in a house where I could be loud, I soon found a job as an activities person in a nursing home, which meant that my job would call heavily on my ability to play my guitar, and would demand that I become better at playing it.
When the box with my recording gear arrived from California I began to go through the master tapes of several years of recording. I was shocked to find out how much I liked them all. I compiled the songs to cassette, but my car at the time only had a cd player, therefore I was only able to listen to my creations at home. My wish to hear my songs on cd lead me to the internet. My parents computer had a cd burner but it was broken, this lead me to MP3.com, which really only attracted me at first because it was a simple way to get the songs I had recorded onto a cd. As I read more about what I needed to do in order to get my cd from mp3.com my interest grew, Mp3.com acted as an all loving record company who would put out my music, but not promote or fund it, which was just fine with me, as I was at least pretty certain that no one else wanted to hear it anyway.

A. Green Light Dim - I think there are something like fourteen songs on the first S no S release, but I really can't be sure since it is not here in front of me. I had roughly 20 recordings to choose from. I chose the recordings that sounded best first, then I chose the recordings that, while I was not completely happy with them, I felt done with them. Several songs I really liked, but I felt the recordings did not do them justice, this feeling would drive the next S no S album , and begin make refinements in my technique.

B. Roary May-in - Where did I come up with that title? I do not have any idea, I imagine it has something to do with the fact that I was really enjoying the band at the drive-in at the time. Roary May-in consisted completely of recordings made fresh upon the release of Green Light Dim. As a whole I think the recordings show more density and a slightly better regard for mix, but the main improvement for me came from re-recording songs for the first time ever. Prior to this album I was under the impression that I did not have the skills necessary to duplicate what was good about any of my recordings, and prior to this time I may very well have not had that ability. With Roary-may in I set out to improve on several of the songs that I cut from GLD, while still staying true to their actual form. Having to re-transcribe the drum and guitar parts pushed my ear and my ability to program toward a new level. I began to flex these tiny little muscles that prior to this album I didn't believe I had. My understanding of drum machines at this point began to allow me to see the limitation to using drum loops made from other people's beats, and this album contained the last drum loop used in an S no S song.

C. These Things (limitation adds...) Marked by many equipment problems, These Things came about in ways that surprised me. My electric guitar bit the dust at the end of recording Roary May, I was left with just the nylon string acoustic. I had also just required a five string bass guitar, which had the top two tuning pegs broken off, so it was actually a 3 string bass guitar. That bass guitar gave These Things a much fuller low end, and the bass more than anything shows my improvement in playing. I was lucky to focus on the nylon guitar, It had a very nice sound that recorded well to tape through my sm58. The biggest equipment problem that plagued the sessions for These Things was the motor of the 4-track, it was not functioning consistently at all. Towards the end of the recordings I would often have to take the cover off the fourtrack and kick start the motor with my finger. Eventually during mixing the motor gave way. Luckily I had Mixed all the songs I cared to mix from the 4-track, but I was still left with one more song I wanted to close the album with. I resorted to using a program called power tracks which Ronnie had given to me. It has been my first and only attempt at computer recording.
Through out the first Two albums I had communicated back and forth with Ronnie about the state of the process. As I began to record These Things Ronnie and I had worked out the bugs in our video conferencing software, it was amazing and helpful to be able to dial Ronnie in at all hours of the night and see and speak with him while transferring files for mix critique and general advice. Prior to These Things I was not really confident in my abilities and therefore I was not as open to listening to what someone would have to say about the recordings. Being able to share the process with Ronnie helped immensely, and eventually paved the way for me to develop further as a musician and a producer.

**Upon release of These Things (and boy am I getting full of my self here...But it is STILL my blog so deal...) I had a huge learning experience, I traveled to California to visit my brother. When my life in Cali crashed and I left, Devin sucked it up and grew. While I was in Kansas City singing to old folks and recording songs by myself, Devin was in Los Angeles, joining Shitting Glitter. While visiting I got to play bass with them in rehearsal. I have never been so touched by inspiration as I was during that trip. So many first experiences, and waiting for me at home was a newly purchased 16-track digital recording studio.

I remember getting hives for the first and only time of my life the day I finished These Things. I have always felt that it was such an important recording to me that it effected my body physically, I think I was having a very hard time for the first time since I had started recording because I had made something of which I was extremely proud, and I actually began to develop the expectation that it would be positively received, and It wasn't really received at all. That was hard for me.

D. Restless - My first chance to use 16 tracks, and the return of my electric guitar. This was a fun album for me to make, coming back from L.A. feeling so inspired by Shitting Glitter and life and wanting with all my heart to get backto California. I made some pretty silly mistakes on some of the songs, and really in a lot of ways it feels really hazy to me and off the cuff, which I think I was trying to do, and I actually needed to just fly through it to learn the 16-track. I'm pretty certain this album was finished in the shortest period of time that any of the S no S albums were finished in, which is funny because it's the longest. I think I could probably do a whole blog on the last two S no S albums, and maybe I will, but for now I'm tired.

E. May April - I knuckled the fuck down on this album. I really tried to write all the songs on the acoustic guitar first, I wanted to be able to play them live as solo acoustic pieces before I ever recording them. I wanted to make it as real of an experience as I could because I knew it would be the last album I would make in Kansas, in the sprawling comfort of my parents house. I had also just discovered Paul Simon's Graceland, and the album was just on fire in my mind the entire time I was recording. That album more than anything derailed my attempts to come at May April from the single window of the acoustic song. Thank god, the album is better for it, with the exception of Mie Dei, which I wish I had not put on there, I was such a sucker for the stupid ebow part in the beginning.
The greatest part of May April for me was feeling confident enough to let other people become involved in a collaborative way. Ronnie was very involved, in many ways I felt like Ronnie and I were in a band together making that record, even though he was four hours away from me. We got together for a couple of sessions at his house and we sent countless numbers of files back and forth. The two sessions we did together were great and a good deal of recording got done. I am so glad to have some of his playing on that record. Caitlyn sang with us on Timiner, and that is so precious for me, I loved it when she got bashful in the studio. Adrienne sang some oohs and aahs on paper see, I think it's fun to hear her because to me it sounds so very her. I really get a bang out of the fact that she is singing a lower vocal part than me.
A huge factor for me, that I think really impacted and influenced me and this album in particular was Jason Rucker, my great friend picking up guitar during this period. It was so inspiring to watch him learn so very fast. We spent a great deal of time playing and singing together. I hadn't connected with someone on a musical level for sometime, it really enabled me to collaborate on May April, and helped me realise that I was ready to play in a band with other people again. I also love the fact that Courtney Paulsen painted the cover.
The whole album for me was closure. The first time I left Kansas it was abrupt and I was scared, and I was disappointed in the town I was living in. I think being the age I was didn't help, I just had so much growing up to do. I had to rush to finish mixing May April before my plane ticket date came up. I knew that I wanted to save the master tracks and that I was going to need to have a good amount of hard drive for shitting glitter's record, which was my intention in going to California, producing their debut, not playing on it. During the year and half I lived in Kansas City my life had become so much richer, I felt very inspired to document it and the record did that for me. From the artwork to the subjects and to the people who were around me when it was in process. I am a sucker for myself sometimes.

4. Shitting Glitter - Upon completion of "May April" I once again packed up my clothes and recording equipment and boarded a plane, this time I was heading back to California. My plan was pretty hazy, I had just walked a turn at a christian nursing facility and completed five albums. I intended to arrive in Los Angeles and produce Shitting Glitter's debut album, "Post No Bills". I assumed at the time that recording and mixing would take One to Two months, I guess I was a little naive about the distractions Los Angeles has to offer. After this golden period of producing a record with out playing on it, I had a notion that I would leave all my stuff in storage with my brother and walk to Florida.

I was picked up from the airport and immediately taken to SG's rehearsal studio in the San Fernando Valley. I guess I was a little unprepared for the state of the band. There was obviously some internal tension.

A. "Post No Bills" - It took a few months before we even recorded the first note of "Post No Bills", and eventually that note would be scrapped. The band was having major conflict centered around all sorts of things, none of which are really my right or concern to explain here. Suffice to say that I did finally get a few people into the apartment studio version of Vincent Free Sound, but the most that amounted were scratch keyboards and scratch guitars. I was beginning to realise that this was not a band that was going to be capable of producing an album under my timid production. I lacked many qualities essential in taking charge of a situation out of control, so I for the most part backed off and let the world at large run it's course, which it did in many odd ways, including many that threw me into the mix.
After some major jostling and smoke clearing it became apparent that the backbone of SG was still very much intact, and finally ready to record an album. A slight problem, they had no guitar player nor drummer. I probably broke a golden rule of producing when I joined Shitting Glitter, but their guitar player had recently left, I happened to play guitar, and completely believe in the band. What else was I to do? I do not regret my decision, the more producing I do and the more playing I do the more I know I wish to do both. I met a drummer named Eddie one evening while singing karaoke in a lesbian bar, we made tentative plans to jam andin short time a new line up was in place.
Weeks of practice went into the live version of SG, there was a lot of room for improvement , and much improvement was made. Devin and Amy, with a new line up ready to go were eager to prove to the naysays that SG was in fact, not finished, and studio work with a drum machine got under way. The first song that I was able to make progress on for SG was "Makes Sense". I sat down with the scratch bass and keyboard tracks which Devin had recorded and pulled up a software drum machine I had used frequently with S no S. I programmed a very basic drum track and had Devin Re-record his keyboards. I then added acoustic guitar. Being as the song used two big S no S elements, hammerhead drums and my acoustic guitar, this recording is the most S no S like of any Shitting Glitter song released (othar than Guerilla - see below). Amy's vocal take weas absolutely stunning, I remember listening too it, and being in total awe over the fact that anyone could make that shitty microphone sound good. When the recording was completed we went to our favorite karaoke bar with a rough mix. It was such a change to go from finishing a song and having no one hear it, to finishing a song and heading straight to a bar for a great deal of positive feedback. I was really beginning to see the benefits of recording with other people, how nice it is for a good voice to sing, and for keyboards to be played with more than one finger.
The next recording we attempted to tackle was Ariana, we did a verion that used a lot of strings but for some reason it couldn't fall together so we moved on and tried again, getting closer this time, but I am still a little embarrassed to hear the final mix that appeared on the album. We had decide that the album would have some songs with live drums, but in the hopes of bridging the gaps to get closer to the things we had been listening to, we decided to adapt some of our songs to use drum machines. The drum machine allowed us to record in the apartment, and to have songs with a steady tempo, a problem that we had been developing with our drummer, a problem I was soon to face as I set about the task of producing the tracks on "Post no Bills" that contain live drums.
Of the 11 songs on PNB, 3 were produced by Mary White, 1 was a remix of a Mary white recording, 3 were recorded by me using a drum machine and 4 were done with live drums. When it came time to record the drums Devin and I laid scratch parts to a click and then we packed up the studio and headed to Amp rehearsal studios in North Hollywood where we booked two hours time for Eddie to lay down tracks on Short Haired Girls Club,
Mustache Rides 5 Cents and Mechanically Separated Chicken. Given that Eddie really had no experience playing to a click, and some of the scratch takes had errors, Eddie did about as well as can be expected, which was not very good. I had never worked with live drums, my microphones were really not up to the task, and the bleed through the walls was a factor. I Generally feel a bit put off by these two recordings, but I have at times been able to step back and see them for what they are, which was the best we could do and an accurate reflection of where we were at the time as a live band.
The other song with live drums I produced for PNB was "Backdoor Jesus", this recording I enjoy a great deal. I developed an idea in my mind that I wanted the recording to sound very old gospel lo-fi, with everything really bleeding through to everything else. We recorded the song one day in rehearsal, I used maybe three mics on Eddies drums, one on the bass drum, one on the snare and an overhead, all shitty dynamic mics. We did the song maybe twice but it seemed like only once, my guitar was being played loud in the studio, and Amy and Devin were singing through a P.A. in the same room. My guitar and the scratch vocals are rather apparent on the drum tracks, which while not only the easy way, was exactly the way I was thinking I wanted it to sound. after that I did some pretty heavy overdub layering using a bunch of different guitar sounds. The vocals were double tracked, then in addition to that I had one track of Amy and Devin singing into the same microphone together, all of that blended in to sound basically how I wanted. Because it's such an odd song and a lo-fi recording I think it works that Eddie really flubs several beats.
Of the Post no Bills album the thing I am most proud of is the title track. I have always been so moved by the lyrics, I think Amy really summed up a certain feeling you get when living your life in close proximity to her, really summed it up elegantly, I am forever impressed by it. The song started as a very major key acoustic guitar folk song, and Amy always complained and wanted it to be more hardcore, I fought her a little on this because I loved the original, but in the end I relented and Amy was right, this song needed what happened to it. Many great choices and ideas went into this recording, beginning with Devin's complete re-working of the beat and keyboards. I really have to applaud myself on the track for not playing, at the time I tried a few things and they seemed to take away from what was working, so rather than muss it up, I sucked it up and decided not to play any guitar on it. I was feeling pretty good about the flanger decision on the drum track anyway. Amy had wanted to do some speaking type vocals on this track, and once again I think I fought her, because I love the melody to the song, but in the end the compromise to do both was stunning. The vocal takes themselves were pretty impressive, particularly Amy's lead and Devin's harmony are striking to hear played back without the mix. Another reason I love Post No Bills the song more than any other song on that album, is because it was by far the easiest to mix, I think I only did basically one mix and a few tiny adjustments.
I remember we really wanted this album done prior to our playing L.A. Dyke March, I think we finished all recording the weekend before, giving me one week to mix. Devin left town at some point so I mixed and Amy helped, I was so not happy that Devin did not have to deal with that debacle.
In the end the album was done in time for Dyke march, we burned them ourselves and Devin did some great art work. I was really unsure of the CD for a long time, I really magnified in my mind how bad some of the songs were, and really I just didn't listen to it for a long time. The last time I did hear it I realized that I was intensely proud of the record, and that it had to be that hard to make in order for us to gain the momentum we would need to keep working.

B. Sexy Clown Circus - I am probably most pleased with this E.P. out anything that I have done to date. I firmly believe that we accomplished almost exactly what we set out to do with S.C.C., which is certainly a good feeling. There is for me a completeness of character of the E.P. that really gives it it's very own place in the world.
During the recording we were in a rather delicate situation with our drummer, he simply didn't have the desire to commit to the band on the level that we needed. We continued to utilize him for live shows, but from the very beginning we intended to use a drum machine for the entire EP. This allowed us a Consitincy and continuity that PNB lacked. Adding to the continuity of the whole was the shorter length, 6 songs as opposed to 11 greatly narrow the window. Perhaps the largest factor in the identity of SCC is the fact that the line-up had not changed for an entire year, which was a definite first for SG. Also the three of us; Devin, Amy and myself had been listening to basically the same music for the first time ever. Devin had decided to dive headlong into loving electro music, and the music carried us along with him. Mount Sims' Ultra Sex and the first Fischer Spooner album were very much favorites within our tiny circle. We certainly set out to make music like we liked to listen to at the time, while still maintaining our identity as a band, something I'm rather certain we could not shirk even if we tried.
Of the six songs on the e.p. only three were brand new originals, and they all came about in very different ways.
Guerilla is basically an S no S vs. SG Song, even more so than Makes Sense (which I refered to earlier in this massive pile of words), because the actual recording that was on the EP began life as an S no S song, perhaps it's the lost S no S song, becuase it was never mixed. I do recall that the chorus was "even you could grasp the contradiction, the joke that stole the plot, the error in your reason, a fundamental flaw..." I mention that here because I'm not really sure what this thing I am writing is anyway, and I happened to remember it. In the S no S version the song had bass, drums and vocals, and a guitar part that didn't work. One Sunday afternoon/evening, when Amy and I were particularly lubricated for the creative process Amy asked if I had anything that didn't have vocals that she could write to, I quickly lied and let her have a crack at the track, she banged the whole thing out in the amount of time it takes to play the song twice, I was rather impressed. Devin added the finishing touches and I followed the bass line on the guitar in two octaves.
"Slut Buffet" was pretty much Devin on his own, he had a demo from a long time ago that he'd given Amy, and when it came time to actually record it a year and change later we used that as a reference. Amy for her part had a hell of a time writing words for the song, Devin not only handed her a demo with a lot going on, he also handed her the title "Slut Buffet". What Devin thought a "Slut Buffet" was I'm not certain, but I do know it took Amy over a year to figure out what it meant to her. Upon completion of the lyrics it still took a long fight to figure out the melody and phrasing. My guitar part basically copies the keyboard with a few rhythmic flourishes thrown in on the chorus, once again I made use of octaves.
"The Curse" was dreamed up initially as a demo instrumental called "fucker tits". I one day made a production of saying I was going over to Devin's to write the music for a hit single. I didn't really have a great idea, just a chord progression for the verse. I played it a few times and then Devin picked at it and came up with the basic keyboard part. I abandoned the chords and let fly with the silly little lick that I play, then I figured out the little thing that I repeat, which is basically the baseline with a funny thingy. The vocals came from yet another evening when creation was lubricated, and Amy and myself were up looking around the apartment for something to make. The first verse is actually from a painting, that Amy and Yvonne had created one night, naked, in the early portion of their relationship. It is still probably my favorite melody of all time SG.
Devin pretty much commanded the two remixes. We used a tiny little toy keyboard for the drum beat on "goddess room", and added the rest. I am amazed at how well that recording turned out. In the beginning you can hear an ice cube chinking around in a cocktail glass, the drink was a gin and tonic if your curious, and yes, Amy drank and played it. "Mustache Rides" Mosey was fun, we all were left feeling like this song got the shaft on "Post no Bills" due to someones less-than-stellar drumming, so we re-worked it here. It fell together rather easily, and the final mix is the only mix I ever did of it, I was wasted off my ass but for some reason it worked.
The cover of "Words" was an after thought. Amy had always sang it particularly well in karaoke, so it seemed really natural. Devin's idea of copping the "My Sharona" baseline added a great element. From start to finish that song fell together in about a day and a half.
Mixing of SCC was a bit of a process, involving many late night drives to the driveway of the Sharon Tate House. It was a combination of connecting with the victims and the killers, and of consulting Trent Reznor, as I feel certain he made that drive many times blaring rough mixes of "The Downward Spiral".
When finally the mixing process was done and I prepared to mix down to a pc it was discovered that our sound card was fucked. We had planned on a record release party on Dec. 27th, as my parents would be in town and they had yet to see us perform. Luckily a friend of ours came through and allowed us to mix down at his loft. It was done, and only one more leaf waited to be turned. Our drummer Eddie informed us that he would be out of town the night of the release party, which was initially un-nerving, but after thinking about the CD the party was for, and that he didn't play on it, our course became obvious. We decided we'd use my 16-track studio and just use the actual drum tracks for the songs on the CD as the drum parts for the live show. We quickly scheduled a practice gig at the Joint to test the theory. Eddie was on the way out, replaced by a machine.

C. R.S.O. 7" The Song R.S.O. had tried many times to begin life, but it was not until one night when the three of us were drunk off our asses in our old apartment on Larrabee that it clicked. I just recall playing what I think is a funny funny little lick on the guitar. Devin picked up on it really soon and then he tossed out the chorus chords. Amy for her part belted out a quick rough draft of the vocals, but they were revised almost completely by the next time we rehearsed. Devin's keyboard line in the chorus solidified it for me. The bridge after the first chorus came from the Murmers, Amy was playing their CD one day and they threw a bridge in after the first chorus and I said, that is a cool place to do that, we have to try that.
The actual recording had to come together really quiet fast. Devin found a place that was pressing 7" on colored vinyl at a really special price for South by Southwest. We had about a week and a half from when we wrote the song to get it recorded and mixed as well as the new version of mechanically separated chicken. The recording seemed to go pretty well, and the only thing I'm not happy with is the fact that the vocals distort on the chorus too much for my liking. That had to do with a pre-amp that I had just purchased and did not yet no how to use. Sheesh. The guitar sound was probably a new high for me, I was left feeling very dis-satisfied with the way the guitars sounded on SCC for months after it was finished, now I'm cool with them and I think they work, but at the time they didn't have the life I wanted out of them. I had been basically going straight from the direct out of my amp into the 16 track and recording it that way, but with R.S.O I miced the back of the amp and covered the entire thing with pillows and blankets, I'm sure it was loud as fuck for the neighbors but it turned out well for me. I love the way the notes in the beginning echo off the amp walls.
Chicken came together without problem, this was another song that really didn't get it's due on post no bills so we gave it the drum machine treatment, the mix is a little unsteady but I'm happy with it.
The other two b-sides were taken directly from SCC and not changed at all.

D. Soundtrack to the Amnesty party - For a while we tried to do a b-sides and rarity album, we probably will still do it, but it didn't take the first time.

E. The Incomparable White Six (single) - Our first recoding made with our new sampler/sequencer the korg electribe esx1. A learning project. I knew that to take the mixes to the next level I was going to need individual control over each sound, this single was a failed attempt to do this. After looking at the manual I decided to separate everything I could by using the four separate outputs. This proved to be the wrong way to go as the auxiliary outputs remove all effects. You live and you learn.
The title track was a new experience also in the fact that it is the only time I've had a piece of work mastered by an outside source. It took nearly two weeks of going back and forth with the mastering engineer until the mix was deemed proper. In the end I like it and I like the mastering but I'm a tiny bit unhappy with the mix. This song is just complicated, it was like slut buffet in that Devin had worked out the music long ago and had to press hard to get it written. The title itself comes from an old car.
A wonderful piece of luck that came our way for this recording was borrowing a Neumann u87, which we took to our friend Christopher's house to do the vocals with in his closet.
The song calendar girl was originally intended to be a remix of guerrilla, Amy instead took it to the next level and created a brand new song out of it. How she found a way to sing over that track I'll never know, but it works and sounds way different then anything else we have ever done.
Short Haired Girls Club - None of us felt that the PNB version of this song lived up to it's potential. For those of you keeping score that is all but one recording that eddie had played on that we have since gone back and re-done, and the one that we havn't re-done Backdoor Jesus, has been left alone because we like it flawed. This one was a bitch to mix, and I still want to go back and do it with a real drummer.
Makes Sense (Electro Spy mix) - One Night Devin, Amy, Bett Williams and Myself all had stolen tickets to get into the premeir of The L-Word, we went and Devin and I were not allowed in, so we went back to my apartment and Devin banged out this remix. We had never attempted to do a remix without re-recording the original vocal, but we were always so impressed by the quality of the original vocal take on this song we decided to really give it our best shot. There was no computer sync, Devin played the drums on the keyboard using an arpeggiator, releasing his finger and pressing back down every so often to keep on track with the original bass drum. How it worked I'll never know.
The Incomparable White Six (Acoustic) - Devin had to play this song a great deal in order to make this work. I like it.


I'm going to wrap this up. Wow. The new album is coming along nicely. I have several new techniques, and I can't wait to see them come to fruitation. I'll probably babble about it at length here...
The oral history of Brandon as a musicain and a producer, as told to a computer when I probably should have been doing other things.

News is bad news

Today I learned that a friend of mine took his own life. I had not seen Kevin in over two years, but I loved him and I am sad to know that I won't see him again. He had spirit, and an appreciation for points of life that make it worth living, in the end I guess the checks and minus didn't add up right at the critical moment.