When I sit and consider my country and the people I know I get very confused. I don't understand why so many people have so little, and yet they fight so hard for people who have so much to keep everything they have, no matter how unjust the method in wich the abundance was attained is. The new Michael Moore makes the point that most of them believe that they are special, and one day they will be a member of the Haves, instead of the Have Nones. I suppose this is all to true.
Our society and our popular culture exists on the very idea that there are certain people among us that are more special than everyone else. And as we all grow up watching television and movies and listening to music where the performer is far more important than the performance or the content of the performance. We are only allowed glimpses of these chosen special individuals, carefully controlled prism views into their life, where each detail has been poured over and calculated for maximum impact.
And deep in our heads as we grow up in this country there is a voice and it is telling each of us, "you are a special one". The words are echoed by your parents and teachers. "You are special" It is a gold star on our school papers or the gold medal on our chest at athletic events.
Deep down as Americans we all believe we are special. And when you feel special isn't it natural to feel a little bit entitled to rewards befitting your standing? Don't you deserve just a little more? A bigger house and a larger piece of the pie?
Even if you are not currently recognized as the special genius that only you yourself know you to be. You know one day that is all going to change. One day they will all know just how much you deserve.
All people can't be equal, and special. Inequality exists because it's there, not everyone has it all figured out like the special people do. That is why they are poor. That is why they have no health care. They are not special people.
"America is the greatest country in the world"
"You are special"
Oh, to be from the greatest country in the world and be special.
This is a dangerous mind set. This not only destroys the drive for equality, but justifies the necessity of inequality, it's a natural symptom if something is the best, that there must then be inferior things. It's natural. It's maybe even gods will?
All around America the cracks are starting show. Many people have traveled abroad and seen how the other half lives. They have come back to us and their message is confusing. It is counter to what we have heard our entire lives.
"America is the greatest country on earth"
"You are special"
Life in America for many boils down to a contest, and we would rather win than be right, than compete fair. Win and be number 1 at any cost, at any price.
This is why people fight for massive corporations that generate absurd profits at such a great cost to so many people they crush. People here really do believe that one day that company could be theirs. They believe that such absurd "success" is a natural result of being special.
People fight positive social change that helps everyone simply because they do not want it. They do not care. They do not believe that the person who makes their triple Decker burger deserves health care. They do not believe that the little brown woman down the street deserves a guaranteed retirement account. They do not believe that corporations should have to answer to anything but the bottom line. They believe they are special and that they live in the greatest country on earth.
They have no idea what really makes this country great, and they have no concept of how truly special that is.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Monday, October 12, 2009
The Starvation
"We used to be a nation of farmers, but now it's less than two percent of the population in the United States. So a lot of us don't know a lot about what it takes to grow food."
- Judith Redmond, Full Belly Farms
Today on my lunch break I started watching this documentary, "the Future of food" . Should you be so inclined you can watch it here for free as I will be doing over my lunch break in the next week and half.
I was only able to watch the first 15 minutes today but already I'm scared to the pit of my soul. What the hell has been going in our world? How far from common sense will we stray before the hammer falls and falls hard?
It would seem to me that we need to have an endangered species list for varieties of our common foods.
I grew up on a farm, my mother stayed at home until my sister was five. Somehow my parents managed to raise a family from the food we grew and the cattle we raised. Would that be possible today? I highly doubt it. What a sad thing we have done to our country in the name of the profit motive.
What is it going to take for people to actually start having an open and honest dialog in this country about the very real situations which we are in? I feel like the pundits are screaming about nothing, and the media follows suit, all whipping up fervor over nothing, and people fall in line and pick a side of the days lucky non issue, while by the way side everything that really matters just slips further towards the drain.
We are circling ever closer to a tired, sad epitaph:
"they had all the clues and never saw it coming"
- Judith Redmond, Full Belly Farms
Today on my lunch break I started watching this documentary, "the Future of food" . Should you be so inclined you can watch it here for free as I will be doing over my lunch break in the next week and half.
I was only able to watch the first 15 minutes today but already I'm scared to the pit of my soul. What the hell has been going in our world? How far from common sense will we stray before the hammer falls and falls hard?
It would seem to me that we need to have an endangered species list for varieties of our common foods.
I grew up on a farm, my mother stayed at home until my sister was five. Somehow my parents managed to raise a family from the food we grew and the cattle we raised. Would that be possible today? I highly doubt it. What a sad thing we have done to our country in the name of the profit motive.
What is it going to take for people to actually start having an open and honest dialog in this country about the very real situations which we are in? I feel like the pundits are screaming about nothing, and the media follows suit, all whipping up fervor over nothing, and people fall in line and pick a side of the days lucky non issue, while by the way side everything that really matters just slips further towards the drain.
We are circling ever closer to a tired, sad epitaph:
"they had all the clues and never saw it coming"
Game Tape
Once again the weather is cooperating with blogging. It's overcast and chilly. I'm wearing a pinstripe suit jacket and blue and black striped scarf. I feel spiffy, and chilly. I've just retrieved a fresh cup of coffee from the back room and have sat back down to type this memorance to myself.
Memorance: A short note for future memory purpose.
I had a nice weekend. Friday night Angela and I went to see Paranormal Activity at the AMC 16 in Burbank. It was fucking scary. I'm sure a person could go see the film and not enjoy it, and not be scared, but it's your loss. Anyone can talk themselves out of enjoying a horror movie, it doesn't make you any smarter than anyone else, it just means that you are willing to waste your time and money. There is nothing wrong with not enjoying horror movies, if you are inclined not to, all I ask is that you don't see them, then you don't have to complain and I don't have to hear it. However, if you are inclined to spend your money and are willing to take the ride with your time, go see this film and let yourself get caught up. It's scary scary scary.
Saturday Devin and I went to see Capitalism, a Love Story. As good as anything Michael Moore has ever done. It's always hard to sit and face the facts about where the country I love is at and where it'd heading, but it's necessary at this point to take stock. It's a call to action that we can't afford not to answer.
Sunday Angela let me sleep really late while she worked on projects in the living room. I slept till nearly 1pm for the first time in ages. It was chilly and at times I had blankets and Simone to keep me warm. I crawled out of bed and did some chores around the house. Later we went for a drive, we drove past the Ennis House, pictured in the post below. We then drove over to have a look at the Debs Regional Park in Montecito. It was getting chili then so we didn't tarry. We instead went to fresh and easy to stock up on food for the coming week.
Sunday Afternoon I also watched the DVD of Invisible Materials first show. I"m very happy that Devin took the time to make the DVD and that Marc and Dylan took the time to film it. A person can learn a great deal about their own performance through such things.
Briefly I learned this:
As a group we need to focus on the vocals, without the music overpowering what we are all signing.
I need to be more respectful of the other players with my overall guitar volume.
I need to be more aware of dynamics when playing. There is no reason to be charging full steam ahead through out an entire song. It does not in fact "rock", it actually just borrows intensity during the most intense parts by not allowing any contrast.
And a crucial part of controlling dynamics is that it will allow me to listen more to what everyone around me is doing, thus allowing us to play as a unit, instead of a bunch of people trying to play and sing as loud as they possibly can.
I enjoyed the video a lot. It's great to have a record and to be able to honestly evaluate ones performance.
I hope to work hard and improve.
Memorance: A short note for future memory purpose.
I had a nice weekend. Friday night Angela and I went to see Paranormal Activity at the AMC 16 in Burbank. It was fucking scary. I'm sure a person could go see the film and not enjoy it, and not be scared, but it's your loss. Anyone can talk themselves out of enjoying a horror movie, it doesn't make you any smarter than anyone else, it just means that you are willing to waste your time and money. There is nothing wrong with not enjoying horror movies, if you are inclined not to, all I ask is that you don't see them, then you don't have to complain and I don't have to hear it. However, if you are inclined to spend your money and are willing to take the ride with your time, go see this film and let yourself get caught up. It's scary scary scary.
Saturday Devin and I went to see Capitalism, a Love Story. As good as anything Michael Moore has ever done. It's always hard to sit and face the facts about where the country I love is at and where it'd heading, but it's necessary at this point to take stock. It's a call to action that we can't afford not to answer.
Sunday Angela let me sleep really late while she worked on projects in the living room. I slept till nearly 1pm for the first time in ages. It was chilly and at times I had blankets and Simone to keep me warm. I crawled out of bed and did some chores around the house. Later we went for a drive, we drove past the Ennis House, pictured in the post below. We then drove over to have a look at the Debs Regional Park in Montecito. It was getting chili then so we didn't tarry. We instead went to fresh and easy to stock up on food for the coming week.
Sunday Afternoon I also watched the DVD of Invisible Materials first show. I"m very happy that Devin took the time to make the DVD and that Marc and Dylan took the time to film it. A person can learn a great deal about their own performance through such things.
Briefly I learned this:
As a group we need to focus on the vocals, without the music overpowering what we are all signing.
I need to be more respectful of the other players with my overall guitar volume.
I need to be more aware of dynamics when playing. There is no reason to be charging full steam ahead through out an entire song. It does not in fact "rock", it actually just borrows intensity during the most intense parts by not allowing any contrast.
And a crucial part of controlling dynamics is that it will allow me to listen more to what everyone around me is doing, thus allowing us to play as a unit, instead of a bunch of people trying to play and sing as loud as they possibly can.
I enjoyed the video a lot. It's great to have a record and to be able to honestly evaluate ones performance.
I hope to work hard and improve.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Wednesday, October 07, 2009
Under the Spell
Check out my new guitar stand. How great is it that I have this in my living room? All of my instruments out of their cases, ready to go. The last two nights after Angela had fallen asleep on the couch I quietly walked over to the guitar stand and picked up my bass to lay down some tracks.
It feels really nice to be working on my own songs again. Feels like it did back when I was hard at work on the S no S project. This time it's more flexible though. I finally have a home set up that works for making music in again. I'm still using the fostex 16 track which I bought for 800 bucks like 9 years back, but recording into the computer for the most part, and using the fostex for no latency monitoring. It does to a certain extent though degrade my audio path. I could chase my tail forever waiting to have a nice clean path or I could just record with what I have and try and make improvements when I can. This is what I've been doing.
The other night I set down to get some work done on a song I wrote ages ago, with help from my friends Jason and Ginger. A tune that used to be called starry night. It began by Jason and I asking Ginger to provide us a line to start a new song and she said:
"Starry night, high above the treetops..." I really liked that line a lot and for years it was the actually the line that started the song. Over time Jason and I have rewrote many of the lines and soon the song sort of started to evolve, eventually the opening changed from "Starry night high above the treetops" to "Last night I was lost in deep thought". The melody over the years has progressed too but the initial seed of the melody came from the sound of the words that Ginger through out. Jason for his part added many of the lines, and encouraged me greatly by telling me it was his favorite hook that I have ever written. Jason actually contributed the title too "Under the Spell", which really dictated the direction the song started to go in. I hope to actually finish a recording of this song soon, so I can properly credit my good friends with helping me write one of my favorite songs I have ever written.
go anywhere any time you want
Refreshing chill in the air this morning, the subtle seasonal changes of Los Angeles always awake in me a desire for more seasonal changes of the more extreme variety. I would love to go home and pick up Angela and a few changes of clothes and head to Kansas City for a long weekend.
Mom and Dad would pick us up at the airport. I would point out landmarks to Angela on the trip. She would be meeting my dad for the first time. She would soon be noticing how many stupid jokes he makes. Mom would be glowing back at me, happy to have a son home for a short spell.
IN this fantasy we arrive around 11:30am, and head immediately to Adrienne's law office to pick her up for lunch. We choose to travel far across town to the Jazz, by KU Med Center. Adrienne tells an amusing anecdote about some husband and wife who tried to steal their home from the bank. I order fried oysters and plenty of hush puppies. Angela chooses a fried shrimp dish. Dad and I split a big dish of craw fish.
As we leave Jazz and head towards Oddie's new house I like to see leaves turning colors. As we turn down her new street a feeling of jealousy washes over me. It's so cute, so near my friends Jason and Ginger, I consider her lucky and experience pangs of regret that I don't have a home on this street. I remember though, that I love my life and I would never give any part of it up. I think to myself that I can move at anytime, if the desire to live on this cute new street becomes too great.
I'm so proud of my little sister as I tour her new home. It's small and just beginning to be decorated. I wander through every room opening every cabinet and looking in every corner. Adrienne and Angela are laughing about some recited line from a movie which we all enjoy.
"next weekend is no good for me, the Jonas Brothers are in town"
Adrienne Brews a pot of coffee. and we all mill around in the living room, trying to find something to sit on. She apologises for the lack of furniture. It's okay, it just feel good to be here.
Inexplicably a cab pulls up in front of her home. As if by synchronicity of fantasy Devin, Dylan and Spike jump out of the yellow car and skipped to the door with their bags. Smiles and hugs all around. How did this surprise happen? What a wonderful world we live in!
Devin and Dylan take the tour of Adrienne's new home and have a cup of coffee with us. Soon though we all realize we are missing a family member. We load up in mom and dad's car, and Adrienne's car, which she somehow left at home to server the days fantasy, and head to Mom and Dads place in Olathe, where my younger brother Royal awaits.
Royal is so excited to see us. He hopes up and down and bounces from one person to another. Everyone comments on how much Royal and Angela look like one another.
As the sun is just beginning to set we all change into warm clothes and take Royal for a walk. As we are leaving Dad approaches me and hands me a Cuban cigar, which has somehow obtained. Amazing! We all walk through their peaceful neighborhood and wind our way along the creek. Telling stories of things that have happened and the things people have said. The day is passing as if it was just a dream.
When we return home Adrienne, Devin, Mom and Angela attack the kitchen. The proceed to cook a meal full of great bounty.
We gather in the dining room and drink wine and feast. Dylan tells a very funny story and we all laugh, I admire his beard. Dad makes a charming toast with just a hint of a tear in his eyes. Mom, Angela and Adrienne all have tears streaming down their face.
The wine continues to flow as we all watch a movie in the living room after dinner. It's cold outside, It's cozy inside and we all have blankets and each other for warmth. A fire crackles. It has been such a perfect day, and we are all happy to have spent it together.
It is so special to spend time with those we love. Enjoy every moment of everyday, and remind yourself that what happens to us in life are just a means to appreciate what we have. The world is so full of wonderful things, you can't hold on to them and there is no point in trying, just enjoy them while they happen and endeavor to make a priority of the things that really matter, and never fear a fantasy.
Mom and Dad would pick us up at the airport. I would point out landmarks to Angela on the trip. She would be meeting my dad for the first time. She would soon be noticing how many stupid jokes he makes. Mom would be glowing back at me, happy to have a son home for a short spell.
IN this fantasy we arrive around 11:30am, and head immediately to Adrienne's law office to pick her up for lunch. We choose to travel far across town to the Jazz, by KU Med Center. Adrienne tells an amusing anecdote about some husband and wife who tried to steal their home from the bank. I order fried oysters and plenty of hush puppies. Angela chooses a fried shrimp dish. Dad and I split a big dish of craw fish.
As we leave Jazz and head towards Oddie's new house I like to see leaves turning colors. As we turn down her new street a feeling of jealousy washes over me. It's so cute, so near my friends Jason and Ginger, I consider her lucky and experience pangs of regret that I don't have a home on this street. I remember though, that I love my life and I would never give any part of it up. I think to myself that I can move at anytime, if the desire to live on this cute new street becomes too great.
I'm so proud of my little sister as I tour her new home. It's small and just beginning to be decorated. I wander through every room opening every cabinet and looking in every corner. Adrienne and Angela are laughing about some recited line from a movie which we all enjoy.
"next weekend is no good for me, the Jonas Brothers are in town"
Adrienne Brews a pot of coffee. and we all mill around in the living room, trying to find something to sit on. She apologises for the lack of furniture. It's okay, it just feel good to be here.
Inexplicably a cab pulls up in front of her home. As if by synchronicity of fantasy Devin, Dylan and Spike jump out of the yellow car and skipped to the door with their bags. Smiles and hugs all around. How did this surprise happen? What a wonderful world we live in!
Devin and Dylan take the tour of Adrienne's new home and have a cup of coffee with us. Soon though we all realize we are missing a family member. We load up in mom and dad's car, and Adrienne's car, which she somehow left at home to server the days fantasy, and head to Mom and Dads place in Olathe, where my younger brother Royal awaits.
Royal is so excited to see us. He hopes up and down and bounces from one person to another. Everyone comments on how much Royal and Angela look like one another.
As the sun is just beginning to set we all change into warm clothes and take Royal for a walk. As we are leaving Dad approaches me and hands me a Cuban cigar, which has somehow obtained. Amazing! We all walk through their peaceful neighborhood and wind our way along the creek. Telling stories of things that have happened and the things people have said. The day is passing as if it was just a dream.
When we return home Adrienne, Devin, Mom and Angela attack the kitchen. The proceed to cook a meal full of great bounty.
We gather in the dining room and drink wine and feast. Dylan tells a very funny story and we all laugh, I admire his beard. Dad makes a charming toast with just a hint of a tear in his eyes. Mom, Angela and Adrienne all have tears streaming down their face.
The wine continues to flow as we all watch a movie in the living room after dinner. It's cold outside, It's cozy inside and we all have blankets and each other for warmth. A fire crackles. It has been such a perfect day, and we are all happy to have spent it together.
It is so special to spend time with those we love. Enjoy every moment of everyday, and remind yourself that what happens to us in life are just a means to appreciate what we have. The world is so full of wonderful things, you can't hold on to them and there is no point in trying, just enjoy them while they happen and endeavor to make a priority of the things that really matter, and never fear a fantasy.
Monday, October 05, 2009
Into October
I'm tired today but oh so better for it. Coming out of a fine weekend I'm looking forward to enjoying this week in the context of this month with a new arrived chill in the air. I love October.
Saturday night was the first Invisible Material show. 18 months is a long dry spell, as Ronnie pointed out to me. Playing live again with a band was such a joy. Speaking the musical language, even in the vocabulary of an infant is a blessing! Rocking through 9 songs in half an hour with brother and friends and my girlfriend dancing was worth all the time spent in the basement rehearsal space and later in cascade studios. The world didn't change in any noticeable way, but my world got better. 
Last night I went with Devin, Dylan and Angie to see Kylie Minogue in concert. WOW! One of the best shows I've ever seen, at a venue that has such a big place in my heart, the Hollywood Bowl.
While watching the show I had many thoughts that I was trying to remember to share, here is my attempt.
First of all singing at a show. I have been hot and cold to this for sometime but have never really taken a firm concrete stance on the issue, except I have been fairly annoyed at artists who go so far as to yell at the fans for doing this, I think pop musicians need to get over themselves if they do this... Ridiculous. So my concrete stance is now developed and it's this. You should at least for one song sing along at a concert if you know the words. To raise your voice and actually sing along with an artist which has come to entertain you is a valuable participation in the process, your voice adds vibration to the movement and it helps to complete the circle. Enjoy yourself and make your small vibrational mark on the experience.
Second thought. If you have a friend or family member who you respect that has different taste in arts and entertainment than you then pay attention to the things which that person really loves, and ask them to take you along when they go to their favorite of these events (concerts, movies, et cetera). While there as unobtrusively as possible ask them questions about what is going (unless you are at the movies, for god sakes shut up at the movies and ask your questions later). I found out last night just how rewarding this could be. I thought I only new one Kylie Minogue song prior to last nights show, and I couldn't have really given her any more thought than that, but I should have. I had the clues to know that there was more going on with Kylie, both my brother and girlfriend are HUGE fans, yet I remained in the dark. When Angela asked me if I wanted to go I wasn't certain, but I love the bowl and I love spending time with my good friends so I said yes, though our tickets were rather pricey. I will am thrilled now that I went. I enjoyed the show from start to finish. I had a Kylie expert in Devin standing next to me, answering my questions and enriching my experience. Thank you to everyone who was part of last night. It was magic.
Another thought I had, people tend to put down pop musicians as plastic and disposable but I noticed this last night. The stage production that I was last night is responsible for thousands of creative and technical jobs. There is nothing disposable about creating work for people in areas where they make something one of a kind, that fits into a unique whole that brings joy to thousands. Way to go Kylie!
Last thought, I love that Angela cries uncontrollable tears of joy when she loves something. It reminds me of my mother.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
In My Book
To begin today I must say I missed an important Grey in yesterdays post. A very good kind of grey indeed. It enjoys being kissed on the head and yelling first thing in the morning. It sleeps better than anything thing else I have ever met, and looks wonderful in a bonnet.
Having said that, here is what I'm thinking about today:
1.5 years since I last took the stage and performed music in front of people. To be honest I was worried that I would not get to do it again. Which is silly I realize, but it was in my head. In the past year and a half I've done a lot for myself. I'm healthy and I've lost a shit ton of weight. I'm feeling better about making music again, just for the sake of it. I've come to a new understanding of what I want in the whole performer/audience relationship, I simply want everyone to enjoy themselves. Anyone can play guitar, we can all dance and sing, just because I happen to be in front of someone doing it doesn't make me better than them, it just means that I've put in the time. I do it because I enjoy it. It's a great outlet. I've learned so much from being in bands and creating music. It's a journey to last a lifetime.
Uncle Ronnie calls the guitar the never ending puzzle box. How true that is. I am out of a rut that I was in with the puzzle box and I vow never to return.
Last night I rehearsed with our bass player Ben at his place. We get on well and are developing a certain type of sync to our playing. I'm just damn excited about having Ben along for the journey, he brings a humor that is appreciated and an ordered method that is necessary.
Getting to know our singer Robin over the course of the last year and a half has been beyond rewarding as well. I met him late one night at a gay bar named Fubar. He had just finished go go dancing alongside Angela. He told me he was looking to start a new band and I mentioned I'd just been kicked out of mine. I was standing there with my friend Chris, who also plays, but didn't make it into the band, and Robin exclaimed "we should start a band, cause we all look great!" The statement doesn't have the same impact without Robin's Kiwi Accent.
In the car rides to and from rehearsal and through book club and hanging out Robin and I have developed a bond. I have not had a new straight male friend in sometime, it's fun to have a little Bromance.
And then my brother Devin. I'm so glad that he some how reached into his busy schedule and found the time and dedication to be in yet another band with me. It wouldn't be the same without him. And how handy is it to have another drummer around?
The puzzle rounds off by having Robin's roommate and my girlfriend Go Go dance on a few of the numbers. Angela has been working so hard in the past year on improving her dancing and wardrobe. She has taken classes and worked her hind end off. I'm so proud and excited.
It's a special time in life when you get to cash in on hard work. It's great to achieve something as a group. It doesn't matter what the crowd things or weather anyone comes, the mere fact that we are able to do it is enough. It's a moment that I plan to enjoy.
Wish me broken legs.
Having said that, here is what I'm thinking about today:
1.5 years since I last took the stage and performed music in front of people. To be honest I was worried that I would not get to do it again. Which is silly I realize, but it was in my head. In the past year and a half I've done a lot for myself. I'm healthy and I've lost a shit ton of weight. I'm feeling better about making music again, just for the sake of it. I've come to a new understanding of what I want in the whole performer/audience relationship, I simply want everyone to enjoy themselves. Anyone can play guitar, we can all dance and sing, just because I happen to be in front of someone doing it doesn't make me better than them, it just means that I've put in the time. I do it because I enjoy it. It's a great outlet. I've learned so much from being in bands and creating music. It's a journey to last a lifetime.
Uncle Ronnie calls the guitar the never ending puzzle box. How true that is. I am out of a rut that I was in with the puzzle box and I vow never to return.
Last night I rehearsed with our bass player Ben at his place. We get on well and are developing a certain type of sync to our playing. I'm just damn excited about having Ben along for the journey, he brings a humor that is appreciated and an ordered method that is necessary.
Getting to know our singer Robin over the course of the last year and a half has been beyond rewarding as well. I met him late one night at a gay bar named Fubar. He had just finished go go dancing alongside Angela. He told me he was looking to start a new band and I mentioned I'd just been kicked out of mine. I was standing there with my friend Chris, who also plays, but didn't make it into the band, and Robin exclaimed "we should start a band, cause we all look great!" The statement doesn't have the same impact without Robin's Kiwi Accent.
In the car rides to and from rehearsal and through book club and hanging out Robin and I have developed a bond. I have not had a new straight male friend in sometime, it's fun to have a little Bromance.
And then my brother Devin. I'm so glad that he some how reached into his busy schedule and found the time and dedication to be in yet another band with me. It wouldn't be the same without him. And how handy is it to have another drummer around?
The puzzle rounds off by having Robin's roommate and my girlfriend Go Go dance on a few of the numbers. Angela has been working so hard in the past year on improving her dancing and wardrobe. She has taken classes and worked her hind end off. I'm so proud and excited.
It's a special time in life when you get to cash in on hard work. It's great to achieve something as a group. It doesn't matter what the crowd things or weather anyone comes, the mere fact that we are able to do it is enough. It's a moment that I plan to enjoy.
Wish me broken legs.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Some Good in the Grey
Ah a return to weather I can believe in. It's grey this morning. It's even a bit chilly. I have been missing seasonal changes, so this is welcome, I am almost now convinced it is fall. Though I have heard tell that by the end of this week we will be back in a climate the mirrors hell.
I have some grey hair now. I love it, though I will probably continue to dye my hair for the pleasure of those around me. It looks nice to my eyes though. I'm very glad to be thirty. I was thinking the other day as I was driving that I used to measure success in much different terms than I do now. When I was young I used to think that if you were over 40 and not famous or rich then you were not a success in life. Well, now that I'm not ten years old anymore my definitions have changed. In my book if you are over 40 and alive, then you are a success. What a person goes through simpy to feed clothe and shelter themselves for any period of time on this planet is remarkable, varied and amazing. The mere act of maintaining breathing and body fucntion in the modern world is no small feat. Congratulations to everyone for continuing to do it. It's not fair and it's annoying, but so goddamn beautiful it's ridiculous.
Enjoy your grey hair you've earned it.
I have some grey hair now. I love it, though I will probably continue to dye my hair for the pleasure of those around me. It looks nice to my eyes though. I'm very glad to be thirty. I was thinking the other day as I was driving that I used to measure success in much different terms than I do now. When I was young I used to think that if you were over 40 and not famous or rich then you were not a success in life. Well, now that I'm not ten years old anymore my definitions have changed. In my book if you are over 40 and alive, then you are a success. What a person goes through simpy to feed clothe and shelter themselves for any period of time on this planet is remarkable, varied and amazing. The mere act of maintaining breathing and body fucntion in the modern world is no small feat. Congratulations to everyone for continuing to do it. It's not fair and it's annoying, but so goddamn beautiful it's ridiculous.
Enjoy your grey hair you've earned it.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Note to the marketing and advertising departments
So most of us DVR the television programs we like to watch these days. When we do this we fast forward through the commercials that you work so hard on. Occasionally it's possible that we zone out in a television trance and forget that we can fast forward. I would imagine that during this state we are more susceptible to the subtle nudging towards consumption of your product that you are trying to sell us.
SO I'm going to think outside the box here...
Maybe it is no longer a good idea to set the master volume of your commercial 10 times higher than that of the program it is interrupting. All this accomplishes now is remind the public they should fast forward.
The game has changed.
Perhaps you can make your adds like a flip book now, so that in regular speed they look to be a serious of still images, but in fast forward they could hock your product? Just a thought.
SO I'm going to think outside the box here...
Maybe it is no longer a good idea to set the master volume of your commercial 10 times higher than that of the program it is interrupting. All this accomplishes now is remind the public they should fast forward.
The game has changed.
Perhaps you can make your adds like a flip book now, so that in regular speed they look to be a serious of still images, but in fast forward they could hock your product? Just a thought.
Friday, September 25, 2009
In a Magic World
Oh yes! Another blog in the same week. I woke up feeling good today. It is a magic world after all, and magic is attained in small triumphs. Last night as I was coming home I walked through our garage. On the walls of our garage are storage units, which the far less than competent management of our building has managed to "lose track of" over the years. They are now first come first serve, which sucks if you are just moving in. Last night as I walked through I cam across 2 of them recently abandoned. The holy joy! I left the building in a hurried rush and went to home depot and bought 2 locks, when I returned they where still open. I slid my brand new locks into each latch like the flag claiming my new land. This minor triumph has me floating. We may now begin emptying items from our closets, and reducing general clutter in our place. A small improvement in quality of life, which makes the world a little more magic!
My muscles hurt today, basically all of them. I have been in the gym every evening this week and I feel great for it. Couple that with eating right and sleeping more and you get more magic. Oh how nice.
I have been neglecting my novel lately. I need to get back at it. This is a good reason to blog more, once I start my fingers to writing then I start my mind to spinning and soon it seems natural to open th document again, and spend some time putting something down.
My sister bought a house. My little sister. I would like a house, or at least to live in one. I'm tired of shared walls. I'm considering going back to school. I have a couple ideas of what I may like to do, but nothing concrete. I wonder about the time factor. I guess the way I see it I just have to trade a little now for more later? Possible. I have always been pretty busy, and I'm sure I could deal with being a little bit more busy. I've always felt like I had 2 full time jobs between working and being in a band. But going to school, being in a band, regularly exercising and maintaining some sort of a social life, is this possible? The thought scares me, which is a good indication that I should do it.
I'm very hungry all the sudden.
I'm listening to the Eels right now. I am pretty in love with them.
Bless your day.
My muscles hurt today, basically all of them. I have been in the gym every evening this week and I feel great for it. Couple that with eating right and sleeping more and you get more magic. Oh how nice.
I have been neglecting my novel lately. I need to get back at it. This is a good reason to blog more, once I start my fingers to writing then I start my mind to spinning and soon it seems natural to open th document again, and spend some time putting something down.
My sister bought a house. My little sister. I would like a house, or at least to live in one. I'm tired of shared walls. I'm considering going back to school. I have a couple ideas of what I may like to do, but nothing concrete. I wonder about the time factor. I guess the way I see it I just have to trade a little now for more later? Possible. I have always been pretty busy, and I'm sure I could deal with being a little bit more busy. I've always felt like I had 2 full time jobs between working and being in a band. But going to school, being in a band, regularly exercising and maintaining some sort of a social life, is this possible? The thought scares me, which is a good indication that I should do it.
I'm very hungry all the sudden.
I'm listening to the Eels right now. I am pretty in love with them.
Bless your day.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Who Shall Enherit This Post?
Oh Boy, it's been far to long since I've clicked any keys taht were connected directly with this blog. Click Click Click by special request.
I feel really good about many things right now, and I'm also very nervous about some things, and down right disgusted and unhappy about others.
For starters, I feel physically really good. I've been eating right and exercising, and that is just nice. Not drinking either which has been a wonderful feeling. My energy level is at a high point, so I'm actually getting things done.
In less than two weeks, my new band Invisible Material will make their live debut. I'm very excited about this. We are back at a place I've played many times, The Anarchy Library. I love the venue, and I'm really enjoying being in this band. To be playing our first show, gone into the studio twice and never even raised our voices to one another is refreshing.
Before I go into that though, I will mention that we wouldn't even be playing this show had a bass player not fallen out of the sky and fit in just perfect. His name is Ben and he has been playing a massive double bass with us. It's so nice to be in a full band of steady members. I havn't had that really since just out of high school, and even then bass was played on a keyboard.
Last night Angela and I went to Ben's house and Angela chatted with Bens wife while Ben and I jammed out the songs. Good times.
I've also been writing and recording some stuff for another project which I briefly hinted about in one of my last posts. Since then I've shipped a track off to Ronnie and he's added bass and drums to it. Now I'm just awaiting a few more parts and seeing hwere it goes. I also have a basic structure demo worked out for 2 other songs for this project.
Home life is very nice. Angela and I have been cooking a lot, and coming up with many creative ways to eat better. Just the other day I learned that marinated baked tofu can be amazing!
So things are trucking and I'm loving it. I plan to pick up the blog again, let me earn back your readership, by actually posting something for you to read!
Ta Ta...
I feel really good about many things right now, and I'm also very nervous about some things, and down right disgusted and unhappy about others.
For starters, I feel physically really good. I've been eating right and exercising, and that is just nice. Not drinking either which has been a wonderful feeling. My energy level is at a high point, so I'm actually getting things done.
In less than two weeks, my new band Invisible Material will make their live debut. I'm very excited about this. We are back at a place I've played many times, The Anarchy Library. I love the venue, and I'm really enjoying being in this band. To be playing our first show, gone into the studio twice and never even raised our voices to one another is refreshing.
Before I go into that though, I will mention that we wouldn't even be playing this show had a bass player not fallen out of the sky and fit in just perfect. His name is Ben and he has been playing a massive double bass with us. It's so nice to be in a full band of steady members. I havn't had that really since just out of high school, and even then bass was played on a keyboard.
Last night Angela and I went to Ben's house and Angela chatted with Bens wife while Ben and I jammed out the songs. Good times.
I've also been writing and recording some stuff for another project which I briefly hinted about in one of my last posts. Since then I've shipped a track off to Ronnie and he's added bass and drums to it. Now I'm just awaiting a few more parts and seeing hwere it goes. I also have a basic structure demo worked out for 2 other songs for this project.
Home life is very nice. Angela and I have been cooking a lot, and coming up with many creative ways to eat better. Just the other day I learned that marinated baked tofu can be amazing!
So things are trucking and I'm loving it. I plan to pick up the blog again, let me earn back your readership, by actually posting something for you to read!
Ta Ta...
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Goodbye Ghost
Last night was nice. I had dinner with Devin and his Icelandic friend Kolbrun last night. After hangin out for a while I drove home and noticed something strange. The car Devin gave me feels a lot like the small Nissan car I had when I lived in Kansas City. They both die at stoplights too. I had the windows down and I was thinking about recording a song when I got home, even though it was rather late. The feeling of being in that small car, headed towards the same type of goal as I would have often been in Kansas City was very refreshing.
Arriving home I picked up Ellela, my trusted oldest guitar and quietly refreshed myself on a song I had been working on this past couple years. It had originally been titled Ghost Fishing and was to be part of my old man album, which seems like it will be dying the undone death.
As I was driving home in yet another car with no stereo I began to sing the lyrics I had, only now they had completed themselves in my head.
I slowly programmed a basic drum map and began to record the guitar part while singing in my head. Some how over the years all of this has gotten a bit easier.
I called it an end around 1:30 and mixed down what I had to send to Devin and Ronnie. They are the first of many people I hope will be collaborators on this as yet to be named project which has been cooked up.
I'll keep you posted.
Arriving home I picked up Ellela, my trusted oldest guitar and quietly refreshed myself on a song I had been working on this past couple years. It had originally been titled Ghost Fishing and was to be part of my old man album, which seems like it will be dying the undone death.
As I was driving home in yet another car with no stereo I began to sing the lyrics I had, only now they had completed themselves in my head.
I slowly programmed a basic drum map and began to record the guitar part while singing in my head. Some how over the years all of this has gotten a bit easier.
I called it an end around 1:30 and mixed down what I had to send to Devin and Ronnie. They are the first of many people I hope will be collaborators on this as yet to be named project which has been cooked up.
I'll keep you posted.
Sunday, August 02, 2009
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Thursday, July 23, 2009
The Strange New Direction
I've been feeling the pull recently to actually do something that I've often threatened to do. I wanted to write a novel that used the summer after my senior year in Hich School as it's foundation. At the time I had just read "The Rum Diary" by Hunter S. Thompson. I don't think anyone ever accused that of being a great book, except me perhaps, and I was so enamored with Hunter Thompson at the time that my judgement is way cloudy. All I know is that I've read it over and over, I love that book. I loved it from first read, which happened to occur during that summer of my life. I would later in life when I was feeling somewhat down fill a bath tub with water, a bucket full of ice and beer and sit in the tub and read "The Rum Diary". Part of my attraction to it has been that in form it reminds me of two other favorite books, "The Great Gatsby" and "The Sun Also Rises". There is something about describing a new setting and then taking a journey in each of them that shows up as a commonality. Perhaps what struck me always about "The Rum Diary", and this is more than likely completely incorrect and really very arrogant, but I always thought that after reading it that I could do this. I could write a book like this. This was my motivation. It is no coincidence that the title I chose for this book has another liquor in the title.
I've now began writing in earnest. I am 6 chapters deep. I am suffering a total lack of confidence that what I've written is worth writing or reading, but I keep writing. I want so bad to actually finish this, because I want to write another one after it. This one is juvenile and dark and really rather disturbing, but so is mis-spent youth.
I have really wanted to not tell anyone that I'm working on it. I started the first chapter back in November of 2008, but I only got about 13 paraghraphs in. This past week, having finally felt it was time I've really gotten down to business.
I am hoping to hold out and finish it and edit it once myself before sharing. I have deicided I have to talk about the fact that I'm doing it as I do it, so I keep going. So help me here and there. Make sure I keep writing. I'll keep updating, for the eternal external record. :)
I've now began writing in earnest. I am 6 chapters deep. I am suffering a total lack of confidence that what I've written is worth writing or reading, but I keep writing. I want so bad to actually finish this, because I want to write another one after it. This one is juvenile and dark and really rather disturbing, but so is mis-spent youth.
I have really wanted to not tell anyone that I'm working on it. I started the first chapter back in November of 2008, but I only got about 13 paraghraphs in. This past week, having finally felt it was time I've really gotten down to business.
I am hoping to hold out and finish it and edit it once myself before sharing. I have deicided I have to talk about the fact that I'm doing it as I do it, so I keep going. So help me here and there. Make sure I keep writing. I'll keep updating, for the eternal external record. :)
Friday, July 17, 2009
Letting Go the Leash
Last night as work ran down I excused myself into the rest room to change into a pair of shorts, light t-shirt and my running shorts. I filled a water bottle full and said my goodbyes.
I navigated my hand me down Saturn through the oddly meeting streets of north Hollywood and Burbank, eventually snaking a route to forest lawn drive. From there I entered Griffith park, the car coming to a rest in the Mineral Wells picnic area. I hoped out of the car, tied my key to my shoe and stretched a bit. I had one last guzzle of water, locked the bottle in the car, knowing how good it would taste upon my return and started slowly off.
The first 200 ft or so was all that space and my perverse need to push myself would allow for a warm up. I found myself quickly at the bottom of a set of stairs, which I think of as "amir's stairs" named after the garden which they lead to. The stairs here are nothing more than boards dug into the hill supported by steel poles. Each stair can vary from 4 inches to nearly 12. The entire lenght of this portion of the run is right around a quarter mile with a few rest points and flat spots along the way. I can only make it about 1/4 of the way up this section before my quads are on fire and I have to give my lungs a little breather.
During the climb I remember promising myself that I would be taking it easy today, since I had done this same section yesterday and my legs had not yet had the chance to heal. I was sure I would be nicer to myself once I had finished the stairs and popped out of the tree cover into the garden.
The temperature was hot and dry, but not really unbearable.
Amir's garden is a beautiful place. It represents the work of one determined man who chose to make multiple trips up a steep hill carrying plants and sometimes young trees. Amir is long gone but his legacy now towers some 50 feet in certain trees he hauled up as saplings. It's now maintained and watered by park staff and volunteers. Somedays if I'm lucky when I get to the top of the stairs I will be welcomed by the sprinklers on full blast, which shoot off the top of the hill and fall all down the slope, for a good thirty yards it's as if it is raining. When the sun is beating down and your mouth is dry there is no more welcome rain.
Leaving the garden there is a fire road to follow. There is no sun cover here, it's just me and the mountain and the sun. Being so high up one is at least treated to a nice breeze, which only becomes annoying when you have to run against it, at which point the breeze seems to become a wind.
This point in the run is all steady climb. I'm still not in top shape so the lungs burn here and keeping up the momentum is all a challenge of the mind. It's harder yet to press on, since I know that there is much more climb to go and that it will get steeper before it levels off.
If you will note the elevation graph at the top of this blog, the section I'm beginning now is that dark purple section of something near 12% grade that comes after a half mile of steep climb already. This section is gods punishment for all that I have left undone. I promise myself always when I'm staring up this climb that I will walk when I pass the telephone pole here. There is not much thinking while running here. There is only pain and a need for breath.
The walk after this incline is nice. I allow myself around a hundred feet, and once I catch my breath it's onward and upward. The climb is steep in places here, but not as bad as before. Soon I find myself on a stretch of actual pavement, which I slowly climb, realizing that I'm no longer on the path which I told myself I would take today. Somewhere on my climb to this point I have decided I will not be taking it easy today.
My body was headed where I was going before my mind realized it. I wanted to get above and behind the Hollywood sign. I've wanted to do that since I've lived here, and I suppose even before.
Again I reached the top of an incline, this time with a nice view of the Hollywood side of Los Angeles. At this point I'm pretty beat, having climbed for over a mile this is the first minor decent. I stride out and let the hill do the work and I keep reminding myself that every bit I go down on this side of the hill, is more that I have to climb in order to get back to my car. I have a serious discussion with myself about how badly I want to get behind the sign, and how hard I want to work to get home. The arguement is hopeless, I'm too far gone.
I feel like I keep curling around bends expecting to see the sign at any turn yet it never happens. Soon I see a more exciting looking trail, which I assume manages to meet the road that which leads to the top of the mountain. Upon this trail I actually pass another hiker. He says nothing but kindly steps to the side and allows me to pass.
I eventually reach the end of the small trail and join the road. As I do I am met by a couple walking slowly up the road.
"How far are the letters?" the man asks me.
"Further than I had planned on going."
"Fair enough."
The rest of the the ascent is on paved mount lee road, now long closed to regular cars. I'm sure were it open the top of the mountain would rapidly fill with cars every day of the year, and more than a handful of fat tourists would roll snow ball style down the hill taking out trees, homes and wildlife on the way down. Some places shouldn't have roads to them. You should never be able to drive to an absolute end, and for some reason the Hollywood sign is such a place, an end. It's where dreams stop and reality sinks in. Just ask Peg Entwistle.
The letters are not so impressive from behind. Corrugated steel concreted to a mountain top. To one side is Hollywood, to the other Forrest lawn cemetery. The Cemetery looks other worldly from that high up, the creepiest part being the chapel. Surrounded by so much manacured green it looks like something out of a model train set.
As I took in whatever parts would easily come in I was joined by a mountain biker named Steffan. He could tell it was my first time, he had been there many times before. Said it was a favorite spot. On my way down when he came flying past on two wheel in a hell descent I think I understood why, it sure looked like fun.
I lingered with Steffan for a while, did one more look around and then shook his hand and started back towards the car. I followed mount lee drive back to where I first joined it from the other trail. Along the way I passed the couple I had met earlier, this time I told them they only had quarter of a mile to go. They seemed grateful for the good news.
The trail I chose to meander home followed the ridge line and was beautiful. To see the San Fernando valley to one side and Hollywood and downtown LA to the other make for an excited mind. I picked up my pace here, running full bore and enjoying the thrill of it all. I let out a "Whoope". I felt elated and accomplished,like a runner and explorer.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
The Bounces
So the spring is in my step a bit today. I've been doing excellent at reinvigorating my physical regime, which has a positive effect on my life all around. I feel much more focused. Though my productivity has yet to return to pre-spring levels. I'm not fretting though, productivity is one of those concepts that doesn't really seem to have tangible significance.
Today the dandy warhol's initial mix of the album that was eventually released as "welcome to the monkey house" came out as "the dandy warhols are sound". This represents the bands version of the album, as they wanted it to be. I'm blown away. I love "monkey house" but "are sound" is really the dandys at their best.
Thinking about getting back to some of the fiction writing that I've bveen threatening a few people with. My neighbor Lionel has inspired me to again attampt to pick up the pen, only in a virtual manner. Still intending to continue work on the novella "Tequila Summer".
I've been enjoying living near the LA River. At first glance it's a rather ugly concrete drainage ditch. However nature and a slightly enlightened man both seem to be slowly reverting it back to it's original state. I've been trying to do one run along the river per week. Last night I actually saw a family swimming in it. I would have never thought I'd see that. I suppose swimming maybe is a bit far reaching. They were sitting in it, and rolling about. I'm not sure I'd try it, but more power to them.
I'm looking forward to Maui with the family over Christmas.
I saw bruno last night. Very funny. Not quite on the level of Borat, but still hilarious. It shines a light, however filtered on something very ugly that lives in our world, especially here in the states. We've come a long way baby, but we got a long way to go.
Griffith Park has been seeing more hours of my time. I discovered a really grueling stretch of stairs that run perhaps a quater mile up from mineral wells to amir's garden. Holy shit do they kill. Halfway up I thought I might very much die from the lungs out.
Today the dandy warhol's initial mix of the album that was eventually released as "welcome to the monkey house" came out as "the dandy warhols are sound". This represents the bands version of the album, as they wanted it to be. I'm blown away. I love "monkey house" but "are sound" is really the dandys at their best.
Thinking about getting back to some of the fiction writing that I've bveen threatening a few people with. My neighbor Lionel has inspired me to again attampt to pick up the pen, only in a virtual manner. Still intending to continue work on the novella "Tequila Summer".
I've been enjoying living near the LA River. At first glance it's a rather ugly concrete drainage ditch. However nature and a slightly enlightened man both seem to be slowly reverting it back to it's original state. I've been trying to do one run along the river per week. Last night I actually saw a family swimming in it. I would have never thought I'd see that. I suppose swimming maybe is a bit far reaching. They were sitting in it, and rolling about. I'm not sure I'd try it, but more power to them.
I'm looking forward to Maui with the family over Christmas.
I saw bruno last night. Very funny. Not quite on the level of Borat, but still hilarious. It shines a light, however filtered on something very ugly that lives in our world, especially here in the states. We've come a long way baby, but we got a long way to go.
Griffith Park has been seeing more hours of my time. I discovered a really grueling stretch of stairs that run perhaps a quater mile up from mineral wells to amir's garden. Holy shit do they kill. Halfway up I thought I might very much die from the lungs out.
Saturday, July 04, 2009
Backyard dreams and the modern divide
I'm having a wonderful moment though, visiting with Angela's family and enjoying wonderful food and a few beers. There are plenty of guitars here, which belong to her uncle Earl. I have been invited and encouraged to play them and I have.
I've claimed a spot on a chair in the shade of the backyard for my own. It is here where I have passed time plucking and strumming or reading or listening to the conversational murmur from inside.
For reading I have with me "Literary LA", written by my neighbor Lionel Rolfe. I'm half way through and enjoying it very much. Its had me thinking more about writing, perhaps this is why I've decided to mark the moment with a photo and a blog on my blackberry.
It also inspired me further consideration of the accomplishments and legacy of those who lived before me. Such a rich history of thinkers, writers and livers who occupied the very same geographic area which I now occupy. I am thinking of a concept, what this afternoon in my own mind I decided to for now call "the modern divide". There seems to be a point or perhaps a couple of generations which have divided themselves from the past. Where any curiosity about history has been severed. Where the lives they lead and they way they choose to leave them are a grand chasm apart from those who came before them, in many ways not at all relating to their distant relatives. Has it always been so?
These are half brewed thoughts on this fourth of July, I shall come to no conclusions anytime soon. Let's discuss.
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