Under the Spell

Check out my new guitar stand. How great is it that I have this in my living room? All of my instruments out of their cases, ready to go. The last two nights after Angela had fallen asleep on the couch I quietly walked over to the guitar stand and picked up my bass to lay down some tracks.
It feels really nice to be working on my own songs again. Feels like it did back when I was hard at work on the S no S project. This time it's more flexible though. I finally have a home set up that works for making music in again. I'm still using the fostex 16 track which I bought for 800 bucks like 9 years back, but recording into the computer for the most part, and using the fostex for no latency monitoring. It does to a certain extent though degrade my audio path. I could chase my tail forever waiting to have a nice clean path or I could just record with what I have and try and make improvements when I can. This is what I've been doing.

The other night I set down to get some work done on a song I wrote ages ago, with help from my friends Jason and Ginger. A tune that used to be called starry night. It began by Jason and I asking Ginger to provide us a line to start a new song and she said:
"Starry night, high above the treetops..." I really liked that line a lot and for years it was the actually the line that started the song. Over time Jason and I have rewrote many of the lines and soon the song sort of started to evolve, eventually the opening changed from "Starry night high above the treetops" to "Last night I was lost in deep thought". The melody over the years has progressed too but the initial seed of the melody came from the sound of the words that Ginger through out. Jason for his part added many of the lines, and encouraged me greatly by telling me it was his favorite hook that I have ever written. Jason actually contributed the title too "Under the Spell", which really dictated the direction the song started to go in. I hope to actually finish a recording of this song soon, so I can properly credit my good friends with helping me write one of my favorite songs I have ever written.

go anywhere any time you want

Refreshing chill in the air this morning, the subtle seasonal changes of Los Angeles always awake in me a desire for more seasonal changes of the more extreme variety. I would love to go home and pick up Angela and a few changes of clothes and head to Kansas City for a long weekend.

Mom and Dad would pick us up at the airport. I would point out landmarks to Angela on the trip. She would be meeting my dad for the first time. She would soon be noticing how many stupid jokes he makes. Mom would be glowing back at me, happy to have a son home for a short spell.
IN this fantasy we arrive around 11:30am, and head immediately to Adrienne's law office to pick her up for lunch. We choose to travel far across town to the Jazz, by KU Med Center. Adrienne tells an amusing anecdote about some husband and wife who tried to steal their home from the bank. I order fried oysters and plenty of hush puppies. Angela chooses a fried shrimp dish. Dad and I split a big dish of craw fish.
As we leave Jazz and head towards Oddie's new house I like to see leaves turning colors. As we turn down her new street a feeling of jealousy washes over me. It's so cute, so near my friends Jason and Ginger, I consider her lucky and experience pangs of regret that I don't have a home on this street. I remember though, that I love my life and I would never give any part of it up. I think to myself that I can move at anytime, if the desire to live on this cute new street becomes too great.
I'm so proud of my little sister as I tour her new home. It's small and just beginning to be decorated. I wander through every room opening every cabinet and looking in every corner. Adrienne and Angela are laughing about some recited line from a movie which we all enjoy.
"next weekend is no good for me, the Jonas Brothers are in town"
Adrienne Brews a pot of coffee. and we all mill around in the living room, trying to find something to sit on. She apologises for the lack of furniture. It's okay, it just feel good to be here.
Inexplicably a cab pulls up in front of her home. As if by synchronicity of fantasy Devin, Dylan and Spike jump out of the yellow car and skipped to the door with their bags. Smiles and hugs all around. How did this surprise happen? What a wonderful world we live in!
Devin and Dylan take the tour of Adrienne's new home and have a cup of coffee with us. Soon though we all realize we are missing a family member. We load up in mom and dad's car, and Adrienne's car, which she somehow left at home to server the days fantasy, and head to Mom and Dads place in Olathe, where my younger brother Royal awaits.
Royal is so excited to see us. He hopes up and down and bounces from one person to another. Everyone comments on how much Royal and Angela look like one another.
As the sun is just beginning to set we all change into warm clothes and take Royal for a walk. As we are leaving Dad approaches me and hands me a Cuban cigar, which has somehow obtained. Amazing! We all walk through their peaceful neighborhood and wind our way along the creek. Telling stories of things that have happened and the things people have said. The day is passing as if it was just a dream.
When we return home Adrienne, Devin, Mom and Angela attack the kitchen. The proceed to cook a meal full of great bounty.
We gather in the dining room and drink wine and feast. Dylan tells a very funny story and we all laugh, I admire his beard. Dad makes a charming toast with just a hint of a tear in his eyes. Mom, Angela and Adrienne all have tears streaming down their face.
The wine continues to flow as we all watch a movie in the living room after dinner. It's cold outside, It's cozy inside and we all have blankets and each other for warmth. A fire crackles. It has been such a perfect day, and we are all happy to have spent it together.
It is so special to spend time with those we love. Enjoy every moment of everyday, and remind yourself that what happens to us in life are just a means to appreciate what we have. The world is so full of wonderful things, you can't hold on to them and there is no point in trying, just enjoy them while they happen and endeavor to make a priority of the things that really matter, and never fear a fantasy.

Into October

I'm tired today but oh so better for it. Coming out of a fine weekend I'm looking forward to enjoying this week in the context of this month with a new arrived chill in the air. I love October.

Saturday night was the first Invisible Material show. 18 months is a long dry spell, as Ronnie pointed out to me. Playing live again with a band was such a joy. Speaking the musical language, even in the vocabulary of an infant is a blessing! Rocking through 9 songs in half an hour with brother and friends and my girlfriend dancing was worth all the time spent in the basement rehearsal space and later in cascade studios. The world didn't change in any noticeable way, but my world got better.

Last night I went with Devin, Dylan and Angie to see Kylie Minogue in concert. WOW! One of the best shows I've ever seen, at a venue that has such a big place in my heart, the Hollywood Bowl.
While watching the show I had many thoughts that I was trying to remember to share, here is my attempt.

First of all singing at a show. I have been hot and cold to this for sometime but have never really taken a firm concrete stance on the issue, except I have been fairly annoyed at artists who go so far as to yell at the fans for doing this, I think pop musicians need to get over themselves if they do this... Ridiculous. So my concrete stance is now developed and it's this. You should at least for one song sing along at a concert if you know the words. To raise your voice and actually sing along with an artist which has come to entertain you is a valuable participation in the process, your voice adds vibration to the movement and it helps to complete the circle. Enjoy yourself and make your small vibrational mark on the experience.

Second thought. If you have a friend or family member who you respect that has different taste in arts and entertainment than you then pay attention to the things which that person really loves, and ask them to take you along when they go to their favorite of these events (concerts, movies, et cetera). While there as unobtrusively as possible ask them questions about what is going (unless you are at the movies, for god sakes shut up at the movies and ask your questions later). I found out last night just how rewarding this could be. I thought I only new one Kylie Minogue song prior to last nights show, and I couldn't have really given her any more thought than that, but I should have. I had the clues to know that there was more going on with Kylie, both my brother and girlfriend are HUGE fans, yet I remained in the dark. When Angela asked me if I wanted to go I wasn't certain, but I love the bowl and I love spending time with my good friends so I said yes, though our tickets were rather pricey. I will am thrilled now that I went. I enjoyed the show from start to finish. I had a Kylie expert in Devin standing next to me, answering my questions and enriching my experience. Thank you to everyone who was part of last night. It was magic.

Another thought I had, people tend to put down pop musicians as plastic and disposable but I noticed this last night. The stage production that I was last night is responsible for thousands of creative and technical jobs. There is nothing disposable about creating work for people in areas where they make something one of a kind, that fits into a unique whole that brings joy to thousands. Way to go Kylie!

Last thought, I love that Angela cries uncontrollable tears of joy when she loves something. It reminds me of my mother.

In My Book

To begin today I must say I missed an important Grey in yesterdays post. A very good kind of grey indeed. It enjoys being kissed on the head and yelling first thing in the morning. It sleeps better than anything thing else I have ever met, and looks wonderful in a bonnet.


Having said that, here is what I'm thinking about today:



1.5 years since I last took the stage and performed music in front of people. To be honest I was worried that I would not get to do it again. Which is silly I realize, but it was in my head. In the past year and a half I've done a lot for myself. I'm healthy and I've lost a shit ton of weight. I'm feeling better about making music again, just for the sake of it. I've come to a new understanding of what I want in the whole performer/audience relationship, I simply want everyone to enjoy themselves. Anyone can play guitar, we can all dance and sing, just because I happen to be in front of someone doing it doesn't make me better than them, it just means that I've put in the time. I do it because I enjoy it. It's a great outlet. I've learned so much from being in bands and creating music. It's a journey to last a lifetime.

Uncle Ronnie calls the guitar the never ending puzzle box. How true that is. I am out of a rut that I was in with the puzzle box and I vow never to return.

Last night I rehearsed with our bass player Ben at his place. We get on well and are developing a certain type of sync to our playing. I'm just damn excited about having Ben along for the journey, he brings a humor that is appreciated and an ordered method that is necessary.

Getting to know our singer Robin over the course of the last year and a half has been beyond rewarding as well. I met him late one night at a gay bar named Fubar. He had just finished go go dancing alongside Angela. He told me he was looking to start a new band and I mentioned I'd just been kicked out of mine. I was standing there with my friend Chris, who also plays, but didn't make it into the band, and Robin exclaimed "we should start a band, cause we all look great!" The statement doesn't have the same impact without Robin's Kiwi Accent.
In the car rides to and from rehearsal and through book club and hanging out Robin and I have developed a bond. I have not had a new straight male friend in sometime, it's fun to have a little Bromance.

And then my brother Devin. I'm so glad that he some how reached into his busy schedule and found the time and dedication to be in yet another band with me. It wouldn't be the same without him. And how handy is it to have another drummer around?

The puzzle rounds off by having Robin's roommate and my girlfriend Go Go dance on a few of the numbers. Angela has been working so hard in the past year on improving her dancing and wardrobe. She has taken classes and worked her hind end off. I'm so proud and excited.

It's a special time in life when you get to cash in on hard work. It's great to achieve something as a group. It doesn't matter what the crowd things or weather anyone comes, the mere fact that we are able to do it is enough. It's a moment that I plan to enjoy.

Wish me broken legs.

Some Good in the Grey

Ah a return to weather I can believe in. It's grey this morning. It's even a bit chilly. I have been missing seasonal changes, so this is welcome, I am almost now convinced it is fall. Though I have heard tell that by the end of this week we will be back in a climate the mirrors hell.

I have some grey hair now. I love it, though I will probably continue to dye my hair for the pleasure of those around me. It looks nice to my eyes though. I'm very glad to be thirty. I was thinking the other day as I was driving that I used to measure success in much different terms than I do now. When I was young I used to think that if you were over 40 and not famous or rich then you were not a success in life. Well, now that I'm not ten years old anymore my definitions have changed. In my book if you are over 40 and alive, then you are a success. What a person goes through simpy to feed clothe and shelter themselves for any period of time on this planet is remarkable, varied and amazing. The mere act of maintaining breathing and body fucntion in the modern world is no small feat. Congratulations to everyone for continuing to do it. It's not fair and it's annoying, but so goddamn beautiful it's ridiculous.

Enjoy your grey hair you've earned it.

Note to the marketing and advertising departments

So most of us DVR the television programs we like to watch these days. When we do this we fast forward through the commercials that you work so hard on. Occasionally it's possible that we zone out in a television trance and forget that we can fast forward. I would imagine that during this state we are more susceptible to the subtle nudging towards consumption of your product that you are trying to sell us.

SO I'm going to think outside the box here...

Maybe it is no longer a good idea to set the master volume of your commercial 10 times higher than that of the program it is interrupting. All this accomplishes now is remind the public they should fast forward.

The game has changed.

Perhaps you can make your adds like a flip book now, so that in regular speed they look to be a serious of still images, but in fast forward they could hock your product? Just a thought.

In a Magic World

Oh yes! Another blog in the same week. I woke up feeling good today. It is a magic world after all, and magic is attained in small triumphs. Last night as I was coming home I walked through our garage. On the walls of our garage are storage units, which the far less than competent management of our building has managed to "lose track of" over the years. They are now first come first serve, which sucks if you are just moving in. Last night as I walked through I cam across 2 of them recently abandoned. The holy joy! I left the building in a hurried rush and went to home depot and bought 2 locks, when I returned they where still open. I slid my brand new locks into each latch like the flag claiming my new land. This minor triumph has me floating. We may now begin emptying items from our closets, and reducing general clutter in our place. A small improvement in quality of life, which makes the world a little more magic!

My muscles hurt today, basically all of them. I have been in the gym every evening this week and I feel great for it. Couple that with eating right and sleeping more and you get more magic. Oh how nice.

I have been neglecting my novel lately. I need to get back at it. This is a good reason to blog more, once I start my fingers to writing then I start my mind to spinning and soon it seems natural to open th document again, and spend some time putting something down.

My sister bought a house. My little sister. I would like a house, or at least to live in one. I'm tired of shared walls. I'm considering going back to school. I have a couple ideas of what I may like to do, but nothing concrete. I wonder about the time factor. I guess the way I see it I just have to trade a little now for more later? Possible. I have always been pretty busy, and I'm sure I could deal with being a little bit more busy. I've always felt like I had 2 full time jobs between working and being in a band. But going to school, being in a band, regularly exercising and maintaining some sort of a social life, is this possible? The thought scares me, which is a good indication that I should do it.

I'm very hungry all the sudden.

I'm listening to the Eels right now. I am pretty in love with them.

Bless your day.

Who Shall Enherit This Post?

Oh Boy, it's been far to long since I've clicked any keys taht were connected directly with this blog. Click Click Click by special request.

I feel really good about many things right now, and I'm also very nervous about some things, and down right disgusted and unhappy about others.

For starters, I feel physically really good. I've been eating right and exercising, and that is just nice. Not drinking either which has been a wonderful feeling. My energy level is at a high point, so I'm actually getting things done.

In less than two weeks, my new band Invisible Material will make their live debut. I'm very excited about this. We are back at a place I've played many times, The Anarchy Library. I love the venue, and I'm really enjoying being in this band. To be playing our first show, gone into the studio twice and never even raised our voices to one another is refreshing.
Before I go into that though, I will mention that we wouldn't even be playing this show had a bass player not fallen out of the sky and fit in just perfect. His name is Ben and he has been playing a massive double bass with us. It's so nice to be in a full band of steady members. I havn't had that really since just out of high school, and even then bass was played on a keyboard.
Last night Angela and I went to Ben's house and Angela chatted with Bens wife while Ben and I jammed out the songs. Good times.

I've also been writing and recording some stuff for another project which I briefly hinted about in one of my last posts. Since then I've shipped a track off to Ronnie and he's added bass and drums to it. Now I'm just awaiting a few more parts and seeing hwere it goes. I also have a basic structure demo worked out for 2 other songs for this project.

Home life is very nice. Angela and I have been cooking a lot, and coming up with many creative ways to eat better. Just the other day I learned that marinated baked tofu can be amazing!

So things are trucking and I'm loving it. I plan to pick up the blog again, let me earn back your readership, by actually posting something for you to read!

Ta Ta...

Goodbye Ghost

Last night was nice. I had dinner with Devin and his Icelandic friend Kolbrun last night. After hangin out for a while I drove home and noticed something strange. The car Devin gave me feels a lot like the small Nissan car I had when I lived in Kansas City. They both die at stoplights too. I had the windows down and I was thinking about recording a song when I got home, even though it was rather late. The feeling of being in that small car, headed towards the same type of goal as I would have often been in Kansas City was very refreshing.
Arriving home I picked up Ellela, my trusted oldest guitar and quietly refreshed myself on a song I had been working on this past couple years. It had originally been titled Ghost Fishing and was to be part of my old man album, which seems like it will be dying the undone death.
As I was driving home in yet another car with no stereo I began to sing the lyrics I had, only now they had completed themselves in my head.
I slowly programmed a basic drum map and began to record the guitar part while singing in my head. Some how over the years all of this has gotten a bit easier.

I called it an end around 1:30 and mixed down what I had to send to Devin and Ronnie. They are the first of many people I hope will be collaborators on this as yet to be named project which has been cooked up.

I'll keep you posted.

San pedro jesus

Sunset on american desolation

The Strange New Direction

I've been feeling the pull recently to actually do something that I've often threatened to do. I wanted to write a novel that used the summer after my senior year in Hich School as it's foundation. At the time I had just read "The Rum Diary" by Hunter S. Thompson. I don't think anyone ever accused that of being a great book, except me perhaps, and I was so enamored with Hunter Thompson at the time that my judgement is way cloudy. All I know is that I've read it over and over, I love that book. I loved it from first read, which happened to occur during that summer of my life. I would later in life when I was feeling somewhat down fill a bath tub with water, a bucket full of ice and beer and sit in the tub and read "The Rum Diary". Part of my attraction to it has been that in form it reminds me of two other favorite books, "The Great Gatsby" and "The Sun Also Rises". There is something about describing a new setting and then taking a journey in each of them that shows up as a commonality. Perhaps what struck me always about "The Rum Diary", and this is more than likely completely incorrect and really very arrogant, but I always thought that after reading it that I could do this. I could write a book like this. This was my motivation. It is no coincidence that the title I chose for this book has another liquor in the title.

I've now began writing in earnest. I am 6 chapters deep. I am suffering a total lack of confidence that what I've written is worth writing or reading, but I keep writing. I want so bad to actually finish this, because I want to write another one after it. This one is juvenile and dark and really rather disturbing, but so is mis-spent youth.

I have really wanted to not tell anyone that I'm working on it. I started the first chapter back in November of 2008, but I only got about 13 paraghraphs in. This past week, having finally felt it was time I've really gotten down to business.

I am hoping to hold out and finish it and edit it once myself before sharing. I have deicided I have to talk about the fact that I'm doing it as I do it, so I keep going. So help me here and there. Make sure I keep writing. I'll keep updating, for the eternal external record. :)

Letting Go the Leash

Last night as work ran down I excused myself into the rest room to change into a pair of shorts, light t-shirt and my running shorts. I filled a water bottle full and said my goodbyes.
I navigated my hand me down Saturn through the oddly meeting streets of north Hollywood and Burbank, eventually snaking a route to forest lawn drive. From there I entered Griffith park, the car coming to a rest in the Mineral Wells picnic area. I hoped out of the car, tied my key to my shoe and stretched a bit. I had one last guzzle of water, locked the bottle in the car, knowing how good it would taste upon my return and started slowly off.
The first 200 ft or so was all that space and my perverse need to push myself would allow for a warm up. I found myself quickly at the bottom of a set of stairs, which I think of as "amir's stairs" named after the garden which they lead to. The stairs here are nothing more than boards dug into the hill supported by steel poles. Each stair can vary from 4 inches to nearly 12. The entire lenght of this portion of the run is right around a quarter mile with a few rest points and flat spots along the way. I can only make it about 1/4 of the way up this section before my quads are on fire and I have to give my lungs a little breather.
During the climb I remember promising myself that I would be taking it easy today, since I had done this same section yesterday and my legs had not yet had the chance to heal. I was sure I would be nicer to myself once I had finished the stairs and popped out of the tree cover into the garden.
The temperature was hot and dry, but not really unbearable.
Amir's garden is a beautiful place. It represents the work of one determined man who chose to make multiple trips up a steep hill carrying plants and sometimes young trees. Amir is long gone but his legacy now towers some 50 feet in certain trees he hauled up as saplings. It's now maintained and watered by park staff and volunteers. Somedays if I'm lucky when I get to the top of the stairs I will be welcomed by the sprinklers on full blast, which shoot off the top of the hill and fall all down the slope, for a good thirty yards it's as if it is raining. When the sun is beating down and your mouth is dry there is no more welcome rain.
Leaving the garden there is a fire road to follow. There is no sun cover here, it's just me and the mountain and the sun. Being so high up one is at least treated to a nice breeze, which only becomes annoying when you have to run against it, at which point the breeze seems to become a wind.
This point in the run is all steady climb. I'm still not in top shape so the lungs burn here and keeping up the momentum is all a challenge of the mind. It's harder yet to press on, since I know that there is much more climb to go and that it will get steeper before it levels off.
If you will note the elevation graph at the top of this blog, the section I'm beginning now is that dark purple section of something near 12% grade that comes after a half mile of steep climb already. This section is gods punishment for all that I have left undone. I promise myself always when I'm staring up this climb that I will walk when I pass the telephone pole here. There is not much thinking while running here. There is only pain and a need for breath.
The walk after this incline is nice. I allow myself around a hundred feet, and once I catch my breath it's onward and upward. The climb is steep in places here, but not as bad as before. Soon I find myself on a stretch of actual pavement, which I slowly climb, realizing that I'm no longer on the path which I told myself I would take today. Somewhere on my climb to this point I have decided I will not be taking it easy today.
My body was headed where I was going before my mind realized it. I wanted to get above and behind the Hollywood sign. I've wanted to do that since I've lived here, and I suppose even before.
Again I reached the top of an incline, this time with a nice view of the Hollywood side of Los Angeles. At this point I'm pretty beat, having climbed for over a mile this is the first minor decent. I stride out and let the hill do the work and I keep reminding myself that every bit I go down on this side of the hill, is more that I have to climb in order to get back to my car. I have a serious discussion with myself about how badly I want to get behind the sign, and how hard I want to work to get home. The arguement is hopeless, I'm too far gone.
I feel like I keep curling around bends expecting to see the sign at any turn yet it never happens. Soon I see a more exciting looking trail, which I assume manages to meet the road that which leads to the top of the mountain. Upon this trail I actually pass another hiker. He says nothing but kindly steps to the side and allows me to pass.
I eventually reach the end of the small trail and join the road. As I do I am met by a couple walking slowly up the road.
"How far are the letters?" the man asks me.
"Further than I had planned on going."
"Fair enough."

The rest of the the ascent is on paved mount lee road, now long closed to regular cars. I'm sure were it open the top of the mountain would rapidly fill with cars every day of the year, and more than a handful of fat tourists would roll snow ball style down the hill taking out trees, homes and wildlife on the way down. Some places shouldn't have roads to them. You should never be able to drive to an absolute end, and for some reason the Hollywood sign is such a place, an end. It's where dreams stop and reality sinks in. Just ask Peg Entwistle.

The letters are not so impressive from behind. Corrugated steel concreted to a mountain top. To one side is Hollywood, to the other Forrest lawn cemetery. The Cemetery looks other worldly from that high up, the creepiest part being the chapel. Surrounded by so much manacured green it looks like something out of a model train set.

As I took in whatever parts would easily come in I was joined by a mountain biker named Steffan. He could tell it was my first time, he had been there many times before. Said it was a favorite spot. On my way down when he came flying past on two wheel in a hell descent I think I understood why, it sure looked like fun.

I lingered with Steffan for a while, did one more look around and then shook his hand and started back towards the car. I followed mount lee drive back to where I first joined it from the other trail. Along the way I passed the couple I had met earlier, this time I told them they only had quarter of a mile to go. They seemed grateful for the good news.

The trail I chose to meander home followed the ridge line and was beautiful. To see the San Fernando valley to one side and Hollywood and downtown LA to the other make for an excited mind. I picked up my pace here, running full bore and enjoying the thrill of it all. I let out a "Whoope". I felt elated and accomplished,like a runner and explorer.

The Bounces

So the spring is in my step a bit today. I've been doing excellent at reinvigorating my physical regime, which has a positive effect on my life all around. I feel much more focused. Though my productivity has yet to return to pre-spring levels. I'm not fretting though, productivity is one of those concepts that doesn't really seem to have tangible significance.

Today the dandy warhol's initial mix of the album that was eventually released as "welcome to the monkey house" came out as "the dandy warhols are sound". This represents the bands version of the album, as they wanted it to be. I'm blown away. I love "monkey house" but "are sound" is really the dandys at their best.

Thinking about getting back to some of the fiction writing that I've bveen threatening a few people with. My neighbor Lionel has inspired me to again attampt to pick up the pen, only in a virtual manner. Still intending to continue work on the novella "Tequila Summer".

I've been enjoying living near the LA River. At first glance it's a rather ugly concrete drainage ditch. However nature and a slightly enlightened man both seem to be slowly reverting it back to it's original state. I've been trying to do one run along the river per week. Last night I actually saw a family swimming in it. I would have never thought I'd see that. I suppose swimming maybe is a bit far reaching. They were sitting in it, and rolling about. I'm not sure I'd try it, but more power to them.

I'm looking forward to Maui with the family over Christmas.

I saw bruno last night. Very funny. Not quite on the level of Borat, but still hilarious. It shines a light, however filtered on something very ugly that lives in our world, especially here in the states. We've come a long way baby, but we got a long way to go.

Griffith Park has been seeing more hours of my time. I discovered a really grueling stretch of stairs that run perhaps a quater mile up from mineral wells to amir's garden. Holy shit do they kill. Halfway up I thought I might very much die from the lungs out.

Backyard dreams and the modern divide

I'm in San Diego celebrating the 4th of July, a holiday which seems to mean less with each passing year, after all how independent are we as a country anymore?
I'm having a wonderful moment though, visiting with Angela's family and enjoying wonderful food and a few beers. There are plenty of guitars here, which belong to her uncle Earl. I have been invited and encouraged to play them and I have.
I've claimed a spot on a chair in the shade of the backyard for my own. It is here where I have passed time plucking and strumming or reading or listening to the conversational murmur from inside.
For reading I have with me "Literary LA", written by my neighbor Lionel Rolfe. I'm half way through and enjoying it very much. Its had me thinking more about writing, perhaps this is why I've decided to mark the moment with a photo and a blog on my blackberry.
It also inspired me further consideration of the accomplishments and legacy of those who lived before me. Such a rich history of thinkers, writers and livers who occupied the very same geographic area which I now occupy. I am thinking of a concept, what this afternoon in my own mind I decided to for now call "the modern divide". There seems to be a point or perhaps a couple of generations which have divided themselves from the past. Where any curiosity about history has been severed. Where the lives they lead and they way they choose to leave them are a grand chasm apart from those who came before them, in many ways not at all relating to their distant relatives. Has it always been so?
These are half brewed thoughts on this fourth of July, I shall come to no conclusions anytime soon. Let's discuss.

Welcome to the Monkey House

Wire is coming back again
Elastica got sued by them
When Michael Jackson dies
We're covering Blackbird
And won't it be absurd then
When no one knows what song they just heard
Unless someone on the radio tells them first
So come on come on come on
Come
Come on come on come on
Come on
Come on come on come on
You monkeys


I wonder if the Dandy Warhols will make good on this barb.

A Thought Which Delayed Sleeping

In the time in which I live I am aware of a blur of the shiny and the new. The fabulous grabs constantly for my attention and it is so easy to find myself caught up. I see it in me and I see it in everyone around me.
Tonight as the final minutes of a film wound down before an acknowledgment came to me. It was not an acknowledgment of something previously unknown, but that of something far to easy to forget. To attempt to state it simply, it was the realization that prior to my existence there have been thousands of years of intelligent thinkers.
Our time is no more important than those that came before simply because it is happening now. Our thoughts because they are currently happening are not necessarily new or better than those of our ancestors.
I often sense an attitude in my peer group that those things in the distant past have no relevance on today. On a basic level this is short sited, on a deeper level it is stupid.
There comes with being human a rich and varied history, full of wonderful minds and a multitude of already experienced experiences. I wish to draw more from this and participate in the furthering of ideas. It is all to easy to ignore what has come before and water it down for present.

I should sleep now or at least stop typing.

Trudging And Thriving

It's a battle these days. There is a negative energy flowing all around us. I read the news today, oh boy. It's hard to keep convincing yourself that the world around you is going to hold up long enough to support your dreams and wishes. It's a trick of the mind to separate yourself from a world of problems, but we modern humans to a great extent seem to be doing just that everyday. The information you take in everyday tells you one thing, then you go home to a little bubble and you see something else. I know that many other people have had a burst bubble, and I can see the threats coming from different directions, yet I believe I can always keep my head above water. I try every single day to make my world better. Is it due to this effort? Is there a reward for being sensitive to the predicaments of others?
Does a person get credit for acknowledging the peril lurking on the perimeter while not succumbing to a crippling fear? If this is the case to what power am I attributing this idea of credit?
I'm a mixture of perhaps too many half formed ideas.

Each day there are new threats upon the horizon. I have to look for them. I'm thinking of this option arm mortgage trouble coming down the pike. Will this be worse then the sub prime debacle? Do I care? Will it effect me? Of course it will effect me. I hear the horror coming. The state parks are closing... How do you close state parks? natural spaces... how did they ever get to the point where they require so much expenditure to keep them natural, so much that we can't even afford to operate them? Are we missing the point of these things entirely? Are we humans left to our own devices so naturally destructive that we need to staff and pave our natural parks just to protect them from each other? Of course we are.

Mean while, back in my own little corner of the world I wake up and I go through my day. I try and say nice things to people and be aware of their problems. Some days I get overwhelmed and I take out my frustrations on those that love me most. I can be childish at times. I can be a very poor communicator. I have a sense of myself and I try not to take myself or any of this too seriously. Life's rich pageant envelopes me and I am so amazed at it's diverse beauty that I just try and pry my eyes open as far as they can go and take it all in.

I have projects that fill my thoughts constantly. Things exist only in my head and they matter in many cases exclusively to me. I get such enjoyment from my inner being. I have known lonely, but I have also been always my own companion. There is so much to do.

I have been spending evenings working on songs for my brother. I love them, they are very well made pieces of work. It's nice to have him in my life. I have been mixing a couple tracks for his solo album. I want to do a good job, if only to have something that can last, that can't change or lose it's value. This is my investment.

Dog walk tree

Resuming a Neglected Practice

I have wrote before of a place called "Green Vista Point", a closet in a house I once shared with my brother which wasd converted into a space to listen to music in the dark. Such dreams and ideas grew in that dark. So many albums listened to start to finish in that space, how much I grew to love the seldom noticed deep cut.

I have recently realized that I do not listen to music with the undivided attention which I used to give it. I'm always moving, doing something else. My mind needs to be let of out it's body every now and then. My musical brain needs to be fed from the fountain. I have decided that I'm going to set the modest goal of at least once a month sitting down and listening to an album start to finish while doing nothing else. I will probably begin in Angela's CD and record collection, which has depths that need to be explored.