Halfway day

Tonight is the halfway day of boot camp. Yesterday was sprints at runyon. Today is back to the park. Looking forward to the weekend off.

7 ate me

I'm tired a bit today. Boot camp on days 7 and 8 were difficult. We did a massive amount of jump roping on tuesday. Actually only 9 minutes in total, but there was much other activity in between. Apparently it takes 20 minutes of jumping rope to burn off the calories in one candy bar. Nothing is worth 20 minutes of jumping rope.

Yesterday in the park was a bear as well.

I should have gone to bed way earlier last night. Tonight will be rough.

Again

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Dmv and day 6 down

I'm waiting at the dmv. Making my new car official. My number is b125. There are many different letter codes. The Bs are currently on 103.

Boot camp was good last night. We were in the park again but it felt just a touch easier to perform some of the motions. I'm also not as sore today. Tonight will be runyon canyon and we have been asked to bring our jump ropes.

Moistly Overlooked

I'm back at my spot but its rainy. I'm eating lunch meat, cheese and a pickle. Yum. Back to the boots!

Five Days Done

Friday Boot Camp in the park was just as grueling. By the end of the work out I my body was so tired I was probably only completing one rep to every five of Robin's. Exhausted. Driving home through firday night traffic was ridiculous. At least it gave me time to catch up on some phone calls. I had a nice chat with Jason R, learned a bit about what it takes to get your doctorate in his field. Sounds exhausting but I'm proud of him. Is it pride you feel when some one you care about does something completely beyond your ability or is it awe? On Jason's Suggestion I am this very morning digging into Nick Drake on LALA.

After Boot camp I stopped and picked up some champagne so that Angela and I might celebrate my victory. When I got home Angela cooked up some wonderful Fish Taco's while I showered. I dried off and enjoyed them fully. Angela has a gift with food, and I'm glad she shares it. We spent the rest of this night chatting on the couch and watching something on the Tele.

Saturday Morning I woke up at 9 am. Angela made Eggs and Tortialla and which I quickly enjoyed before heading off to my Boss' house to do some work. We have a large unfinished task waiting in the old office in his garage but we didn't really get to that. We did a day of general cleaning and maitanence. I pruned some headges, raked a bunch of leaves and through away a bunch of things that needed throwing away.

Saturday evening was another lazy evening.

Sunday I had an Invis Mater rehearsal. Running through our new songs, which I recorded. Will get around to mixing them down this week.

Grind Grind Grind.

Shadow hat

Looking over friday

Back at my spot and it is as lovely today as it has been all week. There is an older tourist couple here hugging each other and taking pictures. Lots of birds singing back and forth. I'm a little further down the hill than usual, sitting cross legged on a stone wall. From where I sit the sound of cars on mullholland are muffled a bit. The dull roar of tires hitting pavement on the 101 freeway below sounds a bit like white noise. There are tiny bugs fluttering around me, occasionally they brush my skin leaving me a bit itchy.
The sun is warming my left arm and the left side of my face while a breeze cools my right arm.
A dog somewhere below let's out a demand for attention, she has been home alone all day.

Four Days Down

I didn't get my little snack in the park last night. I drove to the optometrist instead and picked up contacts for Angela and myself. I then had a nice drive through Cold Water Canyon, which I haven't been through in a while. It seemed like I used to take Cold Water at least once a week, now that I'm out of Weho there is not the same need. It's pretty though, and occasionally I miss it. I like certain roads, streets and routes, I get attached to them and I have associations. Even if some of them are awful. Like the time I recall driving my ex home as she was horribly drunk, screaming the lyrics to "Johnny are you Queer?" at me, as if it was an insult, then hurling her half drank beer out the window just to hear it pop on the pavement. Hmm... I'm pretty glad I don't have to drive through that canyon so much anymore.
So after the canyon I went and changed at Devin and Dylan's and then headed to another canyon, Runyon, and me the rest of the boot campers. We did interval runs up the easy way, if you want to call it easy. One minute run to thirty seconds walking all the way up. Boot camp in the canyon is easier for me since I'm used to that kind of working out. I can handle that type of pain pretty well and since I know the distances it's easier to push myself. We finished the session with shuffle steps up the steepest part of the path followed by sprints. Exhausting but rewarding.
After we finished I dropped Robin by the subway so he could head downtown to prepare for and art show fundraiser he was doing and I went home to shower and change so Angela and I could attend. The art auction was in an apartment and was planned to coincide with the monthly downtown art walk. There are so many people in downtown on this night that parking can be a real bastard. Luckily we found a yellow loading only spot, which many people don't realize you can park at in los angeles after 7pm. The apartment was rather packed and steamy but there was plenty of wine and many good friends. We stayed about an hour and then headed home.
I watched a bit of TV and then collapsed on the bed and died for 7 hours.

Day Three Down

Last night was another boot camp in Plummer Park in West Hollywood. I was seriously sore all day long and I had serious doubts about weather I would make it. After my snack in the park I drove to Devin and Dylan's while listening to Aldous Huxley narrate a radio presentation of "A Brave New World". I had found it last week on a website and burnt it down to a disc. I like his voice but something about it put me off. Much of the language stayed the same, but it focused much more on the dialogue. In a way it seemed to be such obvious exposition that it was taking away from my good memories of the book. Perhaps it will treat me better on some long car drive where I can really listen.
I arrived at Devin and Dylan's to see a strange site. The only available parking space I could find was behind an old school mustang parked next to a school. The trunk was open. There was a man kneeling next to the curb. He had a bottle of what appeared to be tequila in one hand and a double shot glass in the other. In the time it took me to park I watched him down 3 double shots. He looked at me and said nothing. I tried to remember that I've probably done things in the streets of west Hollywood that would have appeared just as creepy, so I let him be. I was hoping that at least his car would still be there when I returned, so that I would know he wasn't driving anywhere. It was.

Boot camp was really hard, perhaps the hardest night yet. I felt good when it was over, but exhausted. Angela was planning to go see a movie with our friends Rebecca and Loren, "Behind the Burly Q". I told her I would be too tired to go and that I would stay home and go to bed early. On my way home though I started to feel like I hadn't seen her all week, and I decided to suck it up and go. I was glad I did. We ate at Sushi Dan's, because we both love the baked scallop California roll. Yummy. The movie was very interesting and informative telling from interviews exactly what it was like to be a Burlesque performer from the 20's to 50's.

Today I feel less sore. My body actually feels a bit trimmer and I'm encouraged. 1 Hump day is down, 3 more to go.

Overlooking again

I'm back at my spot, breeze is nice and the sun still shines. Apple, banana and cereal bar. Feels just as nice as it did yesterday.
Angela has plans to go to a movie this evening, I think I will sit this one out and catch up on rest. I will be beat after boot camp.

Day Two Down

Boot Camp was good at Runyon Canyon last night. Robin is good and gently nudging a person to push themselves. We ran the stairs section 3 times last night fast and then we did a longer run from the stairs to one of the peaks to end the day. I felt great the first time up. Robin ran right next to me and forced me to hit all the steps; some of them are a good 2.5 feet off the ground and hitting them uphill on a run feels like the steeplechase. "Come on Brandon, with those long legs you should be hitting every stair." When I got to the top Robin gave me a high five and sent me right back down. It was fun to see all the other guys struggling up the hill while I was going down. The second trip up was already feeling a bit tougher, but I still made it at a nice clip. The third trip was killing me, luckily there was heavy traffic on the bottom stairs that forced me to slow up a bit. I got to the top and back down with some time to spare after the third trip, waiting for the others to finish so I had a nice stretch and tried to catch my breath. The fourth trip was killer, Robin attempted to motivate me to keep pace with him on the long climb but there was no chance of that happening, I watched him cruise up the hill and finally out of view behind a bend. I was thinking about the Iron Man event he will be doing in a few months and trying to comprehend the type of physical conditioning that must take. It's honestly amazing. Swimming 2.4 miles, biking 112 and finishing that up with a 26 mile run. Jesus.

When I arrived home Angela was at Rebecca and Loren's place preparing for a BBQ. I showered quickly and joined them. Rebecca grilled Shrimp, Mushrooms, Corn and Garlic Cheese Bread. Angela made a fantastic salad to boot. It was the most amazing meal, I could have easily eaten the entire thing I was so hungry.

I feel pretty sore today but I'm enthused. I get older every day and one day my body won't be able to participate in these types of shenanigans. I am enjoying this feeling.

A person could get used to this

Birds sing and cars rumble past. Feel the breeze and the sun. Being here.

Overlook

Pre boot camp snack

Just received a call from devin that he won't be home for a while before boot camp. This leaves me with a bit of time to kill. I've stopped at an overlook park along mulholland drive to eat an apple, banana and a cereal bar. Its pretty here. When I used to live in west hollywood I would occasionally stop here and have a cigar on my way home. I was frantic then and I didn't take time to really enjoy those moments. Instead there was something subversive about stopping on my way home to smoke a cigar when I knew my ex was waiting. Back then I wouldn't have taken so much time away from being degenerate to do a boot camp. This feels nice though, it sunny and there is a breeze. Angela the kind supportive doll that she is packed my snack and told me I could eat it whenever but that it would be smart to save it until late afternoon. She is cute like that, understands that I eat
compulsively and then regret it. Today i am glad I listened.

Its nice to sit here and not be in any hurry. It was easy to think that I was going to be losing precious time doing this boot camp, that somehow not getting home right at 530 was going to cut into my life. Today though I see that its a blessing. I miss seeing angela after a long day at work, but its not like she's away on holiday or I'm off to the army. Its good that I'm doing something different, it leads to moments like this. Where I spend 5 minutes typing on a tiny phone instead of eating my food and enjoying this view. ;)

Day One Down

I'm doing a boot camp this month. Robin, the singer for the band I'm in is the instructor. Devin is doing it also which is great. I love working out, and working out with other people is fun for me since I am usually on my own or with Angela in the gym in our building, but even then she and I are doing different things. My biggest concern when committing to this boot camp was the time consideration. I get off work at 5 pm in the San Fernando Valley, and boot camp does not start until 6:45 pm in West Hollywood. Driving home would just mean wasting gas and that I would end up being in the car for over an hour. Most days hopefully I will just be able to go to Devin and Dylan's place to kill the time, then I can give Devin a ride to and from boot camp also. If nothing else it's great to know I'll see my brother a bit more often.
Today Apparently we will be running in Runyon Canyon, I'm excited to do that since 2 years ago when I first started to actively take care of my self again Runyon Canyon was that place where I chose to do that. I have many good memories there.

This is movie going done right.

Exploring the drive in.

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Failure

I'm walking into the house. We bit off more than could be chewed so we packed everything up and we are calling it a day.

Perhaps follow up photos to come next week.

Beat. Feels good.

The contents of the room.

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Starting carpet.

Plastic seal.

Painting base board

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Sort of before

2 years ago when I first started putting in a bit of extra time at my bosses house on the weekends this room was a home office turned dog house.
When my boss stopped working from home he blocked off the back part of the room with boards and he left everything in place, computers still on. 13 years later when we started to clean it out the room was full of dirt and dog hair. 13 years of it.
6 months ago it was clean enough that Angie and I painted it. Now today we will lay carpet, after I finish mopping.

stick your nose only where your nose can go

There is more good going around this world then credit. I creep around the Internet and I observe. I've been reading blogs written by people I know and people I don't and today they have added up to a good feeling in me. I've been listening to music that I don't really know, all for free on lala.com, and then I get side tracked and I want to go back and listen to some music that I remember from a time in my life that I may have forgotten and it all floods back.
I remember listening to music on a stereo that I bought with money from the sale of my second bucket calf. I purchased the cd/tape player at walmart with money from an animal that I fed every cold morning with a bottle. It never occurred to me that I should cherish the animal more than the stereo. Yet I cried when one day in a fit of rage directed at my brother I slammed a stick down on my bed and cracked the remote to the stereo in half, and not a tear the day I sent the calf off to be slaughtered. I was just happy to have the money and have the chore over with. It's sort of amazing that I learned to appreciate anything isn't it?

So I used to listen to music on a stereo that I bought with the life of animal that I fed with a bottle. Now I listen to it for free on the Internet while I'm being paid to do some tasks in an office.

And there are all these good things going on in spite of how odd it seems when you just look at a little part of it. That's why people don't give the entire life experience enough credit. If you look at a little slice of anything you can make it suck, or if you expect it to be something that it just isn't then it can suck. Just staying alive is enough.

A friend of mine didn't manage to get through last week. So not staying alive is enough too. "We all pay for life with death. So everything in between should be free." Bill Hicks said that, and he's dead so he should know.

Another friend of mine cut his arm, pretty badly. Severed, collapsed artery bad. He hasn't been sure he will get to keep it. It seems to be getting better now and there is blood flowing in his hand again. Life is a series of consequences.

There is a lot that happens.

I'm listening to Catherine Wheel's album Chrome now. It reminds me of a car and a closet. I have so many memories that tie music to cars. Cars crash and the music still plays.

I laid a car to rest last night.

I was certain that this car would leave me stranded in the middle of the 5 freeway at some point. That consequence never occurred. Instead I watched a fork lift take it away.

It's electric, I checked it.

I am a lucky bastard. I woke up today to a nice sensation, a special electricity flowing through me. Happy firing neurons in my brain. And here it is, I am deeply effected at times by material possession. I am not so evolved as to be past the fleeting feeling of completeness that comes from the acquisition of new things. I am in many ways still a child in soul and mind and in the way I choose to interact with society at large. I have not really settled down and I have actively pursued the desires and lifestyle of youth. As a result of this I have not achieved much success in the financial realm, and I have not reaped the benefits of high pay.
I have been driving a car that could be described kindly as a "shit box". It is a 1995 Saturn with 130,000 hard Los Angeles miles on it. The transmission is going and the clock is ticking. I entered the 5 freeway for my short morning commute everyday with the closest thing I get to prayer; in my mind I recognized the possibility that this journey could be the journey where the car finally refused to go any further. In honor of possibility I would always drive the Saturn in the two right lanes, in the hopes that I might have enough momentum to safely pull to the shoulder of the freeway, and not find myself stuck in the fast lane with a target on my bumper.
I have great fucking parents. Sorry for swearing folks but I need to stress it, and that's how I perform that task. I wasn't born into a perfect family. My parents and my siblings and I had a lot to learn about loving and forgiving and letting go. I don't know what my parents thought of their ability to raise children when I was young. They knew enough to know that they had further to go, and that there was always a better way to be. Looking back now I see the progression. My parents worked hard to be better parents constantly and thoroughly. Therapy and continued education and a focused attention to mine and my siblings needs. To run a farm and work a job and raise three active children while driving 40 miles one way to get their masters degrees. These are not people that ever chose the easy way. These are adults that accepted the responsibility that they chose when they decided to commit to raising children. It is because I have the parents that I do that I recognize that even though I'm 31 I am still very much a child. I have chosen to be this way and I recognize that it is a gift from my parents that I am able enjoy this choice.
I have noticed some changes in myself. I have started to accept more responsibility. I now share my life with Angela, who didn't have the luxury I did growing up of such a stable home life. Angela is much more of an adult than I am, because she had to be. She budgets and she correlates her actions with their consequences. She has faced the world with out a safety net and she has gained much practical wisdom from that. I have been learning from her. I have learned to make many different choices. I not nearly as reckless now as I have been. I can see self destructive behaviors better now and I often choose to avoid them in order to be a stable partner for her. I can see how my parents grew into the people they are, by caring about some one else so deeply that you constantly want to choose what best benefits them. I get it.
I have diverted from what I assumed this post would be about. I was having shallow thoughts and they have now run a bit deep. I really was just planning to tell you about the vehicle which my parents bought for me. And to express the feeling I get that I'm 31 and my parents still buy me a car. It is a funny sort of feeling, but I'm thankful for it. My parents gave my brother their old car. I was happy for him. He gave me his old car, which he had managed to keep running with good responsible care. He is actually now the guy I go to for advice on how to take care of a car, because he kept the shitbox running when no one else believed it could be done, and he did it by taking very good care of it and taking the time to do regular maintenance. Like before it broke down he would take it to the shop. This idea had before now been unknown to me.
My parents felt bad about that they didn't have two cars to give away, because I ribbed them about it, because I'm still a bit of a child. They felt so bad about it that they finally forced me to let them help me by myself a new used car. And when I say "help" I mean they paid for it. So I ended up buying a Ford Explorer from the company I work for. It was purchased new for my boss Craig to drive in 1998. He drove it for 10 years and then bought himself a new vehicle. It's basically been parked for the last 2 years and driven maybe once a month. So for a 1998 it has low miles and it's in excellent condition. Have a look:


So I woke up today and I was excited and happy that I had a new car to drive to work. I can actually listen to music in my car instead of playing the harmonica. Which gets a little old after about 20 minutes. The stereo is half of the fun of a car. I woke up with the before mentioned electricity and I recognized it's source as being material and a bit shallow, but it is not phony, it's electric.
I swam in my shallow waters to the closet and I picked out a cute shirt and a cute pairs jeans and a cute hat, which I later changed for a different cute hat, since apparently my first hat was not cute with my first outfit. I felt good and I looked in the mirror. I acknowledged my reflection, and we shared a moment.

I carried with me to my car a fashionable looking umbrella, a book and a yogurt/granola snack which Angela had prepared for me. I felt like someone I would like to meet. I walked to my new vehicle and got in.

This next section has a sound track. For your convenience I have embedded it.

I start my Explorer and this song comes on in my cd player. Press start now.

Being Bad Feels Pretty Good - ...

I am smiling. I turn right on Garden and then right again on Edenhurst. I accelerate up Edenhurst and I am enjoying the V6 engine. I realize with some level of guilt that there are serious consequences to driving big vehicles. I say to myself you are American and you can't help it that you enjoy these things. I decide for the moment to let that go. I am thinking about my parents buying me a car. I have the beginnings of the thoughts I wrote about above. The song is building. I am feeling good. I think about my state of prolonged childhood. I think about the fact that I have the same dreams for my life that I had when I was in high school. I also realize that in many ways I have attained those dreams. I am what I wanted to be, I have chosen this life.
I realize that I have grown, I have new dreams in addition to the old ones. I have started to see more of my father in myself. I have started to dream about being a father. I have caught myself in the way I speak to Angela, speaking as my father would to my mother and it feels good, it fits. I can see that I am growing up, I'm just not there yet; I am so thankful that I don't yet have to.

The freeway felt good. Some days it feels dirty, and I feel as though I'm driving through the ruins of what was wrong with the American dream. Today though I feel the power of possession and the ingenuity it took to build the freeways and the vehicles which pound it with their tires.

Practical Practice

I had a good weekend. I woke up Friday morning exhausted and not feeling well so I emailed in sick. I won't lie, it felt very nice. I spent most of the day sleeping and on the couch.
When I was young I used to enjoy staying home from school. I hated actually being sick and staying home, but being healthy and home was fantastic. I worked out a deal with my parents when I was in high school. I was allowed 2 personal days a semester to be out from school sick. I would plan those days carefully, to maximize my day off activities. Some days I would spend playing a video game which I had carefully rented the evening before. Other days off I would drive to my family's farm 40 miles away with a gun or two, spending the day in the air making lots of noise.

Friday night I went to see Ben, the bass player for Invis Matter's other band play. They are a sort of shock metal outfit aiming for maximum gross out. They played at a place called "CIA" which I had always wanted to go to anyway. It is only a couple of blocks from the apartment I lived in with Dudley in North Hollywood, so my curiosity about the venue was always strong. It really did not disappoint, filled with all sorts of strange items and painted to look like a black light clown dungeon. Ben's band was really good and entertaining to watch.

Saturday I slept until 10:30, when Angela woke me up to kill a wasp that had flown into our apartment. I was tired and blurry when she was waking me and I ended up very disappointed to learn that I wouldn't be smashing a White Anglo Saxon Protestant with an LA Weekly but an actual apocrita. Damn my luck.

Later in the morning Angela and I had Turbo Sunshine practice. At this point it consists of me teaching Angela to play keyboard parts to some of my new songs. We have only attempted this one other time before. Saturday went very well. Angela learned to play the bass line on a keyboard to my new song "What You Would Have Me Do". She learned to play it the entire way through, in less than 45 minutes. I was impressed as hell and very proud. It certainly makes me start to consider all the possibilities for Turbo Sunshine.
I have been kicking around many ideas for Turbo Sunshine and it makes me so very excited. I really want to have my very own band again, filled with collaboration and as drama free as a band can be. I know that no one ever starts a band and thinks, we are going to fight constantly and I'm going to be a diva about everything, but perhaps because a person starts a band with out having been through some one else's ridiculous diva fits maybe they don't understand the negative impact it has on the experience of those around them so they never stress to themselves the importance of good manners. I am over simplifying but I think it's important to set goals for your own behavior. Having high expectations of oneself is usually a good thing. **Flash to a year in the future and I'm throwing a drunken bitch fit onstage with 7 people in the audience because the sound guy isn't turning my microphone up to feedback levels.**
So far the songs which I have started for Turbo Sunshine are as follows:

"Far Out With You" This song sounds a bit like space, as it is supposed to. It has a very heavy bass groove verse with a floating gravity defying chorus. I am totally pleased with the current form and direction of this song. My goal for further work on this tune is adding vocal harmonies in the chorus sections.

"We Want a New God" I have started the lyrical idea and guitar part for this song. I am super pleased with the guitar part. Angela has learned a nice little pad part to play during the verses but I'm thinking of having her learn the bass line instead. I like my lyrical idea thus far but I'm concerned about the melody line being a bit too bland. I would describe the sound as Electro Psychedelic. Devin wrote the main musical back bone to this song which has me very excited. He and I have not collaborated on every aspect of a song in a long time, usually someone else gets the pleasure of singing on a track which we work hard to make sound awesome, I'm glad that this time around one of us will reap the rewards. This song is currently in a bit of limbo because I do not have the individual tracks for Devin's parts, they are sitting on the hard drive of his computer which currently will not turn on. **Brandon crosses fingers and tries to remember how to pray**

"Who Killed Love?" This song is pretty ridiculous and goth. Angela always used to call overly dramatic love songs "Who Killed Love?" I liked the phrase so much I just used it literally. I'm pretty far along on this song, but I'm at a cross roads trying to figure out a better beat. I did a few hours of work on the beat last week but I'm not convinced that I improved anything. I also need some major vocal harmony in this tune.

"What You Would Have Me Do" I had the music to this tune for a while but never heard a melody. Three weeks ago though when Angela was in San Diego I pulled this tune up very late at night and the words and melody fell into place nearly instantly. I'm now super pleased with the direction this song is heading. Having Angela learn the bass line so quickly was inspiring. I think I need to add a new section towards the end of this tune, hopefully building up to a nice crescendo.

"Taming the Itch" I started to finish this song as a tune to Include on the S no S album "Albino Elephant". I hadn't thought much of it but I did enjoy the lyrics and the synth sounds. At the last moment I re-worked the beat and the song came to life. I am now totally in love with the song and could not imagine it not having a place in Turbo Sunshine. It seems very near to being done, anything I add at this point could put the song over the top or kill it. Only time will tell.

"Dreaming a Memory" I have music for this song, though I feel like it has an overly absent bridge at this point. I started writing lyrics at my desk yesterday and a melody in my head. This song will be a creepy stalker song. I hope to mess about with a scratch vocal in the next few days.

"Hey Citizen" Another song started by Devin. This track was fantastic when it arrived in my in box. I wrote the lyrics very quickly and I'm super pleased with the way it's coming together. Sadly it's also in Devin's computer hell for the time being. The great thing about my brother is that he's super talented. Even if his computer is completely dead he will be able to re-do anything lost. Luckily I know in my heart that his computer will breath again.

In addition to these original songs I also really want to actively remix other artists as Turbo Sunshine. I have one completed for Swivek which I have previously posted, and I'm currently working on one for a new band "Bonfire Bandit".

I have been thinking about Turbo Sunshine constantly. I realized while listening to demos the other night that I am making a record that I would have loved at 17 years old. That is perhaps the most exciting part of these new creations.

I love the sounds that can be made

So here I am. Getting a bit older. It's Thursday and I'm feeling human enough to blog. I have been damn tired this week. My idea of heaven is being left alone to sleep. Hear that god? I don't need a tunnel and I don't need the light, just flip the switch at the end and let it all go dark.
Of course if it were dark I wouldn't see this lovely dog Coffee pictured with me above. I will enjoy looking at hims while I can. Damn he is sweet. I find that its perfectly acceptable at my work to kick my feet up on the desk and lean back in my chair as long as I have a dog on my chest. You can imagine how happy that arrangement makes me.

So this plastic device is adding to my happiness. It's extremely portable and runs on batteries, yet it allows me to capture 8 simultaneous tracks of 24 bit audio and then easily transfer those to a computer for further mixing and manipulation. This is a very good thing when you have a girlfriend who loves nothing more than falling asleep on the couch at 8pm. I can then just collect my little plastic box and head to the back of the apartment to make my noises. I'm considering doing an album deep in the depths of Griffith park too. I do enjoy the modern world at times.

This bubbling little buddy is a welcome sound source addition to my life. Thanks to my birthday our patio is getting a boost in the amenities sector. I love the sound of falling water. Bye bye freeway noise, hello life giving water.

And then there is the soft purr of a kitty nuzzling his little face against his mommie. Indeed.



When this is all over and they do turn out the light, don't ever let anyone tell you I didn't love ever tired minute.

My last post as a 30 year old

I'm happy today. I'm optimistic.

Last night I mixed down Devin's song Sleepy Town. I'm not happy with it, it's not done. I need his guidance. I need to come up with a guitar part. Hopefully that will tie the entire song together and give it the sense of build we are looking for.

I worked on Reprogramming the drums for a Turbo Sunshine song called "Who Killed Love?". I was so pleased with myself when I first came up with the idea, but I find now that it's become the least exciting song to me in the set of Turbo Sunshine songs.

This momentum I have going is nice. I need to keep in mind that having more ideas than time is a good thing.

Solitary Confinement

Angela left early Saturday to visit her grandmother in San Diego. I stayed behind since I know the two of them really enjoy spending time alone together. In my adult life I have not spent much time alone. I find that curious because I've always been a person that takes to solitary time very easily.
As a young boy I spent most of my time alone. I would wander off into the wilds of our family farm and spend my day pretending to be an Indian. I passed many hours this way and I believe it helped create in me an independent imagination. And once a person develops that being alone can be pretty joyful.
Once I started recording music my love of time spent in the company of only myself really flourished. I enjoy getting feedback from others as soon as a song is finished, but I really don't mind not speaking to some one for hours and hours while I create it. I spent so many weekend and evening hours alone in my mid twenties and I enjoyed everyone of them.
This weekend was a return to form for me. Angela left in the afternoon and I took up the task of doing all my chores in 3 hours. I finished my list of things to be accomplished for the weekend as fast as I could and I then journeyed to the gym to put in an hour and clear my mind. Returning I showered and went to the store to stock up on food for my time alone. I finished all of this around 8pm on Saturday and then I got busy working.

I spent the first 2 hours working on a bass line for my brother's song "Sleepy Town". I love this song and when I started mixing it I had a revelation early that drastically changed the way the song sounds. I got it to about 75% done and I have just been struggling to put it all together from that point and finish the last 25%. At the end of the two hours I was disappointed and left with the feeling that nothing I did was even usable. I decided to close that project and move on for the night.

Next up I wanted to finish a song I started a while back with no project in mind. It was always an odd song but I loved something about it. It's called "Taming the Itch". Last week I decided it was close enough to being finished that I could just finish the lyrics, sing them, mix it and call it good for inclusion on "Albino Elephant". I had assumed I would do just this, but when I started working I decided I could not live with the drum track. I started to reprogram them and suddenly the song came a live. I worked on it for about 3 hours and in the end mixed it down an mp3 file and added it to my phone. I then had a smoke and went for a late night walk to listen. Hearing the rough version through headphones got me super excited. I decided that this song deserved a better fate than "albino Elephant", not to disparage that project but I have been wavering on what that album is. With the surprise turn out of this tune I decided to let the past stand as it was and not include any new spruced up tracks on that collection. I just want to document that era as it was. In the future I plan to re-purpose parts of it but I think "Taming the Itch" made up my mind about what the last S no S album will be.

Due to the time change and the excitement "Taming the Itch" cause I couldn't sleep for a while. I started to think about a way to make "Turbo Sunshine" a viable live band and a plan was coming together. I finally succumbed around 5am.

I woke up refreshed an energized at 11:00 am. I made a bit of breakfast and tried to watch "Engineering an Empire" off the dvr. I made it about 20 minutes before I was up and at the computer. I started sifting through half finished projects looking for my next project. I settled on a song called "Far Out With You". I loaded the porject and then changed into running clothes. I smoked a bit of medicine to allow for a proper run and headed off to Griffith Park. It was a fabulous day in griffith park. All told I put in two hours and probably ran a bit over 10 miles. It was wonderful.

I returned to the apartment and showered. I then really hunkered down. I worked for around 4 hours on "Far it with You". It was a bit frustrating to put this one together and in the end I didn't have the instant feeling of satisfaction.

I then wanted to throw down a few vocal ideas to a track Devin performed the music to. It's called "Hey Citizen" and I just love it. I recorded the small bits I had and mixed it down as well.

I've been kicking around a song called "Who killed love?" for a while and decided that it sounded very much like what I have been hearing in my head as the sound for Turbo Sunshine. While walking around listening to "Taming the Itch" I realized that in some ways it sounded a lot like Nine Inch Nails. It got me thinking that 90's psuedo industrial music is such a large part of my musical make up. Since I am not 15 anymore I find the lyrics in that music I use to love to be cringe inducing. I have started to see that there might be a large use of the sonic qualities of that music I once loved in the music I now want to create. Perhaps something like The Dandy Warhols meets Nine Inch Nails. God. I can't believe I jsut typed that. Disregard all of this. That statement means nothing.
I sang the second verse of Who Killed Love? and went out to get beer. I didn't want to lie in bed awake half the night again, so I thought some beer might do me good.

I returned from the store and had a few beers while I loaded the new songs onto my phone. I then lit a cigar and went for a walk. I was loving the new songs and it was only 9 o'clock. I decided I oculd swing one more before the time to sleep was dire. I found a piece of music I had written nothing to yet and just started to sing whatever came to mind. In about half an hour I had the first two verses and the chorus to a new song called "What you would have me do". At this point I had polished my sixer and decided I should have another walk and listen.

It was a great walk. I ended feeling pleased with myself. I came home and tried to watch TV. TV wasn't working for me. I put my headphoens back on and played each song a couple more times.

Finally I went to bed. I was missing Angela as I laid down but I knew she was having a ncie time and that she would return soon enough.

Cold Wet Paint

I meant to blog about having cold wet paint dumped on me for hours this weekend but my bother beat me to it and with much more detail and accuracy than I could muster from five days away. Don't let that stop you from reading it though. It was hard and uncomfortable at times, but it was so much fun. I went home on saturday and sunday night and felt proud of myself and everyone involved. I'm excited to see the result and to remember for a long time to come that someone once had the idea of dumping paint on me all day, and I agreed to do it.

I'm feeling physically pretty good these days. I have been stretching before exercising for the first time in my life and lifting high reps of less weight. People always told me that a person should stretch before exertion but I never really bought it. I get the benefits now, it actually feels nicer all the time to be a bit more limber. I can touch my toes with a locked leg now, I couldn't even do that in high school while running cross country.
I went for a nice 5 mile run through the streets of Atwater Village and Glendale last night. The sky over Griffith park looked amazing and I managed to jay walk and catch stoplights in just the right manner so that I never once had to stop. I dodged cars and dogs and peoples and kept moving. Every time I started to feel tired I remember that my sister is going to run a half marathon in under two hours, and that to do that she must run nine minute miles instead of ten minute miles. I would just say that to myself when I wanted to rest while running: "Nine Minute Miles". I was probably running closer to seven minute miles last night, but nine sounded better.
I finished with a stupid sprint kick up Edenhurst to Veselich. I like to run in the park or at night because I like to finish big and it's a bit embarrassing in the middle of the sun light to be grinding full bore up a residential street. I would make fun of me if I saw myself doing that. It feels good though, and to finish a run without it is sort of like sex with no orgasm.
As I walked back to the apartment after the run trying to catch my breath I asked myself how I ever stopped running for such a long period of time. I didn't answer because of course I remember, still it seems so stupid now.

I have not been writing much lately. I need to lock myself in a room and revise a bunch of the shit I've spewed out but it's just not happening. I want to be that type of person, I respect that kind of focused energy but at heart there is something in me that lacks a measure of discipline. Why can't I just do it perfect the first time?

Less Productive than Predicted

I wasn't as on the ball this weekend than I predicted. Friday night Angela and I dropped in on Devin and Dylan so that I could grab my guitar which I plan to use for the Invisible Material video and also a keyboard which I plan to use to teach Angela to play for Turbo Sunshine. It was a nice evening, at the end we dropped them off in the rain so they could attend "Puppetry of the Penis".
Saturday I slept till just after 10am and rolled out of bed to have coffee and relax before getting to work. Angela and I then went to our buildings gym and worked out.
I then settled in to work on some mixes. I feel pretty confident that I finished Alien Nation. I burned it down to a Wav and used the new google documents feature to send it to Devin and Ronnie. Ronnie seemed pleased with the mix but Devin listened only on headphones and had some doubts. I next finished Invisible Material's cover of "My Girl Wants to Party all the Time". I was happy with the results so I dispersed it amongst Ronnie and my fellow band members.
Angela and I then went to Joans fabrics and for a drive around Glendale/Burbank. I got a text from Devin then which told me about a show they were going to in Venice. An all gay cover band called "the gayties" were doing a set at the Rooster Fish. Angela and I decided to head over to Devin and Dylans and go with them. The set was great, they even played a Hoodoo Gurus song!
Somewhere between getting to the Rooster Fish and getting back to Devin and Dylans my weekends productivity became derailed. We partied perhaps a bit too hard and ended up staying at Devin and Dylans instead of risking the drive home. Sunday was then spent in lazy recovery.

On the drive to the Rooster Fish I did have a proud moment. Devin burned down the two new songs I completed that afternoon to a cd and blared them in the car for all to hear. It sounded great and Devin agreed. Everyone was very proud of Devin's song. I'm really looking forward to the rest of the album.

Weekend Overdrive

I've got projects. I'm all talk and no action. I have become a project starter and not a project finisher. I'm going to change all of that this weekend. Here is my extremely ambitious list of things I want to finish this weekend. They will require focus and computer time.

1. Clean our ugly oven. Mandatory
2. Do Laundry. Mandatory
3. Finish Mixing/Mastering Alien Nation Mandatory
4. Finish Mixing/Mastering Invis Matter's My Girl Wants to Party All the Time Mandatory
5. Rehearse for Invisible Material Video Shoot Mandatory
6. Finish Reprogramming drums for Sleepy Town
7. Finish Mixing and Mastering on I like the Way
8. Re-write First Chapter of More Possible Than Perfect
9. Exercise Mandatory
10. Breath Optional

I'm excited you see, I have purpose and I need to get to it. Finishing things is good business.

Citizen Turbo

I have too many irons and not enough fire, or perhaps just not enough time.

I really need to help Devin finish his solo album and I need to finish the S no S project. I am promising myself that I'm going to do both of these things before I get to deeply involved in...

The two new tracks that Devin sent me last night which will become Turbo Sunshine songs!! Turbo Sunshine will be taking over where S no S left off but with the hopes that it is always a collaborative project between myself and at least one other person, hopefully many people. It is the project that I plan to put the most of myself into and something that I really would like to develop into a project that plays live, hopefully sharing stages and possibly musicians with Devin's solo project when that is up and running. I want to take the best parts of S no S, the unpredictablility and energy and further those in more melodic tunes.
Most importantly I want it to be very collaborative and in the spirit the first thing which I have completed which will wear the Turbo Sunshine name is a remix of my friend Bradley's song, "Rock Hard". Bradley puts out music under the name Swivek, and you can check him out here.
Here is the remix:
Rock Hard(Turbo Sunshine Mix) by Turbo Sunshine
Notice the fantastic backing vocals? This is the first recording which Angela has ever sang on. So cute! I look forward to making use of that voice in many projects to come.

The two songs Devin sent over last night were working titled:

"Silver Grey" I like the title and immmediatly started writing lyrics using the two colors. I'm having second thoughts about the approach today, but it was fun to even record a small bit of vocals to it last night. I did lay down a nice clean guitar line around midnight last night, which I think could evolve to bcome something absoloutely wonderful. Once I added the guitar line I realized that it has a certain "ladyslipper" quality to it, I like.

"WNN0438" is an upbeat, synthy number. WNN0438 were the call letters to my family's CB radios which we used on the farm. I started thinking about CB radios and that I didn't know until just a few days ago that C.B. stands for Citizen's Band, and that led me to thinking about the actual fact that all radio and tv bandwidth is publicly owned, which considering how it's so often used as a weapon to bad ends against us seems sort of screwed up. With that thinking I came up with a line for the chorus:
"Hey Citizen, Don't you own the airwaves".
I started working up a talking heads "fear of music" era gutar line for the song that seems like it will compliment all the synths well. This morning I was listening here at work and I heard the beginnings of a bass line.

Turbo Sunshine is going to be a lot of fun for me. Collaborating with Devin is one of my favorite things in the world, I'm very lucky.

In a State of Repair

Working away. Getting very excited about some things in life.

Planning a weekend getaway to Mexico in April.

The Oscars are in full swing so work is very busy.

I did my taxes over the weekend and once the return arrives I should be able to purchase the Zoom recorder that I've been lusting over. The applications of this device are many and far reaching. It will open up many interesting opportunities to me. I'm interested in doing a bit of extreme recording in Griffith Park. I'm interested in doing some Invisible Material recordings with it. I'm interested in doing a project with Angela and another friend with it. I also plan to do a lot of my own work on it.


Invisible Material has been hard at work planning a video shoot. This video will have the highest production values of any video of which I have been a part of. Everyone has been working very hard to make the video possible. Ben has actually taken it upon himself to build an upright bass from scratch and he's coming along nicely. What he has finished so far is pictured above. He chose to build a new bass because he does not wish to have paint splattered all over his real one, something I can't say the directors do not wish to do to us band members. It will be very messy. Our biggest snag this far is in the location, there just are not a lot of cheap places where you can throw that paint all over.
State of the bass update:


This weekend we went to a really great loft party downtown with Tiger. It was oddly held in a loft I had been to 6 years before when SG played a friends party. The place hadn't really changed much. We stayed pretty late into the night and had a total blast. Kool Kieth and Lady Tigra played.

Sunday we went to the Drive-in with Devin, Dylan, Rebbecca and Loren and saw Valentines Day and The Blindside. It was a beautiful night, we watched part of the first movie in lawn chairs outside of the cars. It was D&D's first trip to this drive in and I'm thrilled that they both seemed to love it.

Saturday Afternoon in the "flea market"( a section of our parking garage where the building and it's residents place items they no longer want or that those who have moved out left behind) we found three aloe vera plants. They were in serious need of some TLC so we moved them up to our rescue plant sanctuary, also known as the patio.

Our patio is the last part of Atwater Village home to be finished. We are working away and in march hope to add astro turf and a fountain. So as far as birthday gifts go anything that might be spent at Lowe's could come very much in handy. Hint hint hint. :)

With out further ado, our new rescue plants, alvin, simon and theodore:

Cat fancy accounting

Rain!

Dead Writers

JD Salinger died. I was thinking about him two days before he died, I thought it was about time that he would die, and that he might then finally share some of the things he's been writing all these years with the rest of us.

Howard Zinn Died too. Hoagie told me to read his work "A People's History Of The United States" a couple of years ago. I meant to but I haven't yet. Today on my friend Bett's blog she posted a link to the entire work online. Friends, family and secret admirer's I invite you to read it with me, for free!.

Exciting! We can all discuss as we go along.

Making Music

I've been lusting after a piece of gear lately. It's a Zoom R16. I very small, plastic device that can record up to 16 tracks of digital audio. I have a device that can do this already, but it is now nearly 10 years old. That device is the fostex VF16, and it has served me well and I have loved it at every step. This week I took that device into the bedroom of our apartment and have started building a new version of an old song the way I used to, track by track with me, an instrument and a microphone. It's been a very revealing experience. I and that when I'm not sitting in front of a computer, watching a wave form write onto my computer screen as I record that I lose my self much easier. Rather than watching the computer display scroll by with the large measure counter, always showing me where I am in the song, I am in the song playing it. It has become far to easy for me to go through a new song section by section, often looping 8 measures at a time and just playing it until I get it right once. This is embarrassing to my old self. I always chose to play each instrument, all the way through the song until I could play it right, because I told myself that each part I learned to play right made me a better musician. Somewhere along the way I stopped focusing on that. There is no justification for it, I never got the level where I felt I had achieved so much as a musician that I should give myself time off for good behavior. I came across a quote yesterday which I loved. "Amateurs practice till the can get it right, professionals practice until they can't get it wrong." Oh so true.
Back to the gear lust. The zoom device updates my current multitracker, and it costs half as much as what I paid for the device I currently have 10 years ago. It uses removable, silent memory cards where the old one uses a noisy hard drive. My old device could only record at 16 bits, where the zoom will give me 24. The zoom is absurdly portable, but perhaps a bit flimsy and can function off battery power, where the fostex cannot. The greatest update that I will gain if I am able to purchase the new device is that I can easily transfer files back and forth between my computer's Digital Audio Workstation and the Multitracker, something that I can not currently do.
Ultimately this new device won't fix all my problems but I have realized something this week. In recording songs the most important part of the chain has nothing to do with the gear you choose to capture it on, it simply comes down to getting a great performance. There are thousands of examples of songs recorded in less than stellar fashion that endure the test of time because they are well written, superbly performed pieces and they communicate something deeper to the listener. There are many songs being made today that sound absoulutely amazing when you first hear them, because they are completely perfect in every which way, and all the sounds jump out of the speaker and bash your inner ear, but I believe many of these songs rely too much on modern shock and awe production and once the initial vibration dies down all that we will be left with is an absurd ringing in our ears.

I started recording music cause it's fun and I liked to write songs. This week as I simplified the recording process all the fun I used to have started flooding back to me again. Within the next month I hope to update to the Zoom r16 and continue the positive flow of vibration.

Stranger Strange

I was listening to some of the tracks from Albino Elephant the other day and I decided I wasn't at all happy with a couple of aspects of a song called "Stranger Strange". The version I have was recorded live and in a hurry since it was originally a New Years Day present for my friend Courtney. There was a tempo stutter in the beginning which undermined the entire song. Since I had always really liked the potential for the song, and it's a fairly simple number I decided I should take a stab at re-recording it for Albino Elephant.
Monday night after Angela fell asleep on the couch I did a guide drum track in cubase and sped the tempo way up. I dumped the drum track to the 16 track and moved the machine and a microphone into the pink bedroom. I scratched out a rough guitar track and vocal and even experimented with the mandolin some.
It felt nice to be working on something that I was completely in control of. I really like the idea of working on my computer in cubase, but more often then not it's an exercise in complete frustration. I love technology and computer based recording has come a long way and it will only go further, but I need my shit to work. To be working on a song and have my flow come to a screeching halt because my computer takes a dive is heart breaking.
I have ideas on how to improve my set up, but as always they cost money. For now I have decided I'm just going to keep things simple and forget about the world and expectations. I'm happy when I'm recording music. I don't need any one's approval and I don't need to reinvent the wheel. I don't have to be working on an astounding song that would blow up any one's skirt in a night club. I just need to communicate with myself in that way, and for now it's happening in a pink bedroom, in the late evening, with a few instruments and a microphone.

Stranger Strange by S no S

The version above is the first version of this song. I recorded it in the days before New years day 2001. It was essentially a song taking poetic liberty with adventures which I had with my friend Courtney. As I started re-recording I found I didn't really like all the lyrics that much and I started to rewrite them as I went along. Stranger Strange has now become a song about the cross roads. In the coming days I hope to have the new version done enough to post here.

ps. this is my 700th blog post here.

why don't you ever get to sing?

Easily More Than You'd Ever Need

Lushing (Ronnie and Brandon barely live) by S no S

Hello and good morning. I'm feeling good today, I had been a bit frustrated the past couple days. I hadn't felt like I was getting anything done on any of my projects and work has been a big pain in my ass. I'm better today though and I feel like I can keep my momentum going through the weekend and perhaps make meaningful progress on things. I realize that it's childish to let my own problems add up on me while there are massive calamities and catastrophes going on all over the world. I feel for Haiti and those effected by war, unemployment and hunger.

I'm posting a track my uncle and I once recorded along with this blog because I'm trying to spark myself to finish the S no S "Ends" project. Feedback helps my motivation, so by all means comment. The track above was recorded in Big Sound Studios in Hays, KS. I was playing guitar and singing and Ronnie joined me on the mandolin. I had originally thought it would be part of the Albino Elephant album but now I have started to majorly revamp that disc and I'm not so sure it fits. It will be included in the final release most likely as some form of a bonus.
When I get down on myself I need to remember how much work I've already put into this project, and that finishing it would make me feel very accomplished. There is a lot to be done, including finishing the companion book, and then re-writing it. It can and will be done. To be able to make it real and feel like it is safe and that the work I've done will be safe and accessible is a feeling worth pursuit.

Last night Angela, Chris and I went to the artwalk downtown. Since the last time we went the Artwalk has now really taken off. It was incredibly crowded last night and there was a lot more going on. I'm proud of that event and the people who worked so tirelessly to make it happen. They have really accomplished something.

Of New and Same Things

Rain again; this lovely atmosphere. My fingers are cold in here as always. I'm not in the best mood, but I have no justification for unhappiness. I went for a swim last night. Nothing makes me feel less coordinated than swimming. Swimming for me is prolonged sinking.
I miss playing my guitar loud. I would like to weld metal.

Out of the Ordinary and Into Routine

Last night I felt great when I got off work. I had a long bad day, I was tired and a bit hungover all day long. Once I found myself in my car, speeding home on the freeway I felt great and alive all out of the abyss. When I arrived home Chris and Angela were sprawled out on the couch, dead from a day of working out, swimming and then shattering both of their diets. I refused to join them in their sloth and gluttony, for the moment. I changed and went to the Gym where I worked my chest, shoulders and abs. I came home and showered and asked the two couch slugs if they wanted to go for a drive. We decided to go up to the observatory and then down to the pantry to eat. The observatory is closed on Mondays, but you can still wander around the grounds and enjoy the stunning, twinkling view of Los Angeles. I put fifty cents into on of the telescopes and was proud of myself for being able to find the theater across from Chris' house, and Angela was able to even read the posters of what movies were playing, several miles away. We watched the city twinkle for a spell and then moved on.
We drove down Normandie to Wilshere, a route that is only fun in the evening as Normandie can bottle neck is some idiot wants to turn left down streets a person has no business visiting. We took Wilshire downtown and then did the backwards one way dance till we parked across from the Pantry.
The Pantry is LA Tradition, there are no locks on the door and it has never been closed since 1924. The freeway forced it to move in 1950, and when they moved they served lunch at the old location and dinner at the new, and they've been going ever since. During the 1994 earthquake when power was out, they cooked by candle light to cover breakfast. We had a random sampling of dishes between the three of us, and even I broke my diet. It was fun though, and after my last two body busting workouts I feel fine about my dalliance with the darker forces in food. My favorite of all the dishes was the french toast.
After dinner we drove to Pershing square and walked around. We watched the Los Angeles ice skaters and had a bit of a chuckle at their expense. Pershing Square is no longer the den of Hustler's from "City of Night". It's secure and reasonably clean. Downtown Los Angeles has come such a long way since I first moved here. It's nice to not feel in peril all of the time while moving about it, but I miss something of the grit of a dead city.
We recently revisited the movie 500 Days of Summer, and Angela had been curious where the main guy character's favorite spot in the city was. We walked up Olive to 4th, where the park benches they sit on in the movie are located. The park was locked, so we admired the view of the view they admired, and finally back to the car we went.
We drove Broadway through Chinatown, and we all remarked how much we like Chinatown and how we need to spend more time there. Broadway lead us across one of my favorite bridges, taking us out of Downtown, into Mission Junction where I made a left on Pasadena. From Pasadena another left took us to San Fernando and into Cypress Park, and Glassell Park, and Finally back into Atwater Village. I drove us around the quiet streets of Atwater for a spell, and then home. Very active and out of the ordinary for us on a Monday night, I settled down then on the couch feeling relieved and relaxed, soon finding myself sleepy and into the bed.

Normalcy is now back on me. I arrived at work at the same time as one of the Technicians. He had brought with him a friend of his who will be helping us out for the next couple months. It's show season and we are once again a flurry of activity. I checked my morning email and generated an invoice. I had three full cups of coffee and a handful of pistachios for breakfast.
I assigned all the technicians to their various tasks and sent them away. I settled in and began my round of news and blog readings. I chatted some with Devin to let him know I was disappointed not to read anything new from his blog this morning. I realized I was a being a bit unfair since I had not blogged today myself.

Tonight I will swim, hopefully it won't leave me feeling as sore as it did last week, but if it does that is fine too.

The Love of a Park

Weekend mornings when I don't have to work Angela likes me to sleep in. She will flat out insist that I not get up before Nine. Angela herself gets up between Five and Seven, assuming that we didn't party too much. These weekend days, like most days begin with her familar exclaimed question: "coffees?". This is generally the first thing I am aware of in the morning. It's a plea, it's short hand, it means "Brandon you know that I am unable to function in the morning at all without the that most wonderful of beverages coffee. I would very much like to have a cup so that I may get out of bed and clean and organize things the way that I like them. I have many projects to start and I'm so close to being able to do them, yet my eyes are welded shut by the residule force of sleep. If you will kindly get up and make a pot of coffee, I will get up and get to work while you sleep." I have come to like this morning call for "coffees". I am a blessed sleeper, I can and do fall into sleep very easily. I know how many people struggle with this, and I don't wish to rub their noses in it but I am just made this way. So I make the "coffees" and I go right back to bed and fall quickly back into a deep satisfying sleep, and I'll continue in this slumber for anywhere from one to five hours. Occasionally Angela will take a running leap and fly onto the bed to make sure I'm still breathing and because it makes me giggle. This is the way that it goes on weekend mornings around our apartment.
Yesterday was one of these mornings. Angela was up before Six, and I finally got out of bed around Ten. I ventured out to the living room, said hello to the kitties and poured myself a cup of coffee. It was a beautiful morning and I quickly decided that I wanted to go for a nice long run in griffith park. I conferred with Angela about our plans for the day and the chores to be done. I had a small lists of domestic tasks and we had plans for the evening. I was pleased and began to dress in my shorts and a T-shirt. I filled a large bottle of water and enjoyed a bit of maryjane and I was off.
I leave the car in the parking area at Mineral Wells. I have been making an effort to stretch before working out. I walked into a large clearing of green grass, the sun was shining on me. Each ray of the sun that touched my skin sent a relaxing wave through my being. I started to slow my breathing and stretch.
I started slowly up the steep hill that leads towards Mount Lee. My legs burned a bit but not bad. After Two Hundred meters the incline tapers off some and I started to increase my pace. My mouth was dry so I decided that I would change routes and run around the old Toyon Canyon landfill and stop at the only freshwater drinking fountain in the upper parts of the park. This Drinking fountain is a favorite discovery of mine, I'm sure there are not many who know where it is.
After a big drink and wetting my head I was off, up the back of Mt. Hollywood and over it's peak to a the look out point on the southern end. A stunning view of los angeles. Stopped there to catch my breath and acknowledge that I am now completely in love with this gift from Griffith Jenkins Griffith to all of us. A park of this natural beauty doesn't make up for shooting your wife in the face and only serving two years, but it's a nice attempt at atonement, and I appreciate it all the same.
The run down from the peak is a gift from gravity which I fought all the way up. Letting my body fall and my feet keep me upright. Amazing feeling.

Rewriting is Trying

I'm feeling amazing today. The combination of exercise and Friday are treating me nicely. I don't mean to be smiley and ridiculous, I'm sure it sounds annoying some folks, but I'm not going to feel fantastic and not blog about it, if only to counterpoint all the times I've been tired and blogged about it. Last night I ran a solid 5 miles, at nice pace through the darkened streets of Atwater Village. I was a bit stoned and I had my headphones on, listening to the album "Prick", by "Prick. When I walked in the door Angela looked at me and said, "My god, you really do love to run. You always look so spry when you walk in afterwards." I nearly blushed but it's true. There is something primal about running and pushing my body, it connects me to myself.

After a nice dinner and a couple of episodes in my on going revisiting of the 6ft under series, I sat down and began to actually revise and rewrite the "More Possible Than Perfect" manuscript. It was slow going, I ended up rewriting several sentences and paragraphs on the back of the typed sheets. I enjoyed the work, but I recognize that re-writing is going to be a labor for me. This type of work is not something that comes easily to me. I have always believed in the initial burst in all creative endeavor, musically my entire goal has been to become proficient enough to pull of something close to finished the first time out, thus eliminating the drudgery. I realize now though that there is benefit form a look back and rewrite and re-visit. I may need to really structure a period of time for re-writing, because I don't trust myself to do it any other way.

Speaking of Prick, I really must blog about that album and "concentration" by Machines of Loving Grace.

Fit

I am taking number one on my list of of things to do in 2010 pretty serious, and since the year is already seven days old I think it's safe to say that I will continue. I am always surprised by the way in which my mind and it's governing desires function, it's so easy for me to eat an absurd amount of cake or chocolate, but once I have decided that I want to feel better and look nice it's like a gate slams down between my hand and my mouth. This last until one thing worms it's way in, and then it's very tough to regain my steely composure. For now though I feel great. I am taking very good care of my mind and body. I've decided that a variation in exercise is the theme for my new fitness. To practice this I swam for close to an hour last night; as a result I am extremely sore today in odd places. Tonight I will go for a long run and miss the park and the sunshine.

I was recently given a small supply of medical marijuana. There are two types of mary jane, sativa and indica. Indica is a body high and very relaxing. Sativa is more of a mental high, and rather stimulating. It's been a recent development that in buying weed you can be sure of what you are getting, thanks the dispensaries that now dot this beloved city of mine. In the past I had noticed that different strains would lead me to do different things, in some cases I liked to go for a run or clean out the drawers in the kitchen, but in others I simply preferred to sit on the couch, watch rodeos and cheer for the bull. I have gotten off track, perhaps I smoked some already today. So the strain I was given is 80% Sativa, 20% Indica, and it is oh so nice. I have been indulging in it regularly and I feel pretty good for it. I am getting chores and tasks completed around the house and generally feeling lighter of spirit. Smoke it if you have it and treat yourself well.

Ten in Twenty Ten

1. Be Healthy - I want to eat food that at least lives up to my standard of integrity, and I would prefer to only eat because I am hungry. I want to stretch before I exercise, and create a body that feels good to live in. I want to sleep more and party less.

2. Help bring about my most anticipated album of 2010 - Devin is working on a solo album and I can already tell it will be one of my top 5 favorite records of all time. All the elements are there. Any effort I put into helping Devin complete the album will bring about it's release that much faster.

3. Carefully revise some of the things I have written, and finish writing "More Possible Than Perfect", "Up and Back", And "Tequila Summer".

4. Put Effort into "The Ivy Twines"

5. Don't talk about things that are none of my business, or at least don't talk about them so much.

6. Learn More about Computers

7. Visit my Sister's new home and puppy.

8. Compose and Record a Song for Angela to Burlesque to.

9. Entice people to collaborate over the Internet on music - This includes but is not limited to you Ronnie!

10. Spend money at my local farmer's market.

A Look back at 2009

Late in January of last year I made a list of things to do. I also swore I would get a new tooth brush every month.

I did not use twelve tooth brushes last year. I would guess I used six.

Here was the list from last year:

Without further ado, things to be done in 2009

1. Move to a new apartment with Angela and only Angela
2. set up all my guitars and get them in tip top shape
3. Record a Solo Album
4. Continue to run and exercise regularly
5. Start a fun dance project
6. Learn more about chess and play with other people
7. Stay in book club
8. Explore more of Los Angeles and the surrounding areas
9. Finish my novella
10. Forgive more and love better.


1. Yes! I moved to a new apartment with Angela and Only Angela, and way sooner than I thought I would. Within a month after writing that post we were settling into our new home. Our apartment is fantastic to me. It is the first place that has felt like a home that I have lived in since leaving my parents house. Most of my other places resembled den's of ill repute.

2. I did not set up all of my guitars. I did however get them a brand new stand and I have them all lined up and out of their cases. Some could use a set up and a tweak, I hope to get to it this year. One day I'd love to pay someone to do this task for me.

3. Record a solo album. Well, i have recorded bits and pieces here and I'm assembling a large S no S project which will include a new album. I suppose I didn't see this goal all the way through yet, but I made positive steps.

4. I suppose I did exercise regularly last year, but towards the end of the year I let up a bit more than I would have liked. In the coming year I will improve. I don't believe I will even list this on my new list, but I may modify a fitness goal. Exercise is once again a way of life for me and I feel confident that it will continue to be so.

5. I didn't exactly start a fun dance project. There are irons in the fire though and we will see where they lead.

6. I learned more about Chess and taught Angela to play. I taught her to well though and she beat me a couple of times.

7. Stay in book club. I am reading "A Fraction of the Whole" for book club this month.

8. I have explored more of Los Angeles, and I will continue to explore.

9. Finish my Novella. I have not finished my novella. I worked on it more.

10. I have forgiven and loved but who's to say it was more and better, only the best I could do at the time I was doing it.