Building Fences, Thinking About Bridges

I've been recently rather active. The past Two weekends I have contracted myself for extra work in my Bosses backyard. It's been great to wake up early on a Saturday morning and do something constructive. Making something where nothing was before. The first Saturday we put together a Rubbermaid storage shed. It took a few hours and ended up looking basically as the box said it would. It was a bit tricky in places as one piece didn't seem to want to square up. Last Saturday we built a fence around his hot tub. This was a feat of engineering. There are no anchor posts sunk in the ground, it's a free standing fence that is only attached to his deck and held up by geometry. Such a trip to build. I was beat at the end of this working day but pleased.
I have joined a book club. I met with them for the first time last Sunday. We read Blood Meridian by Cormac Mcarthy. I did not much expect to enjoy the book club experience nearly as much as I did. I've always found it a bit off putting to discuss a book with I've read with others, but it was simply not off putting at all. I enjoyed the lively discussion and intelligent commentary of my new printed page companions.
Next month we will read William Gibson's Neuromancer. Due to the book's cyberpunk computer age themes I think I may try an experiment in online reading. I figure I have the unstructured computer time before me so that I might attempt to read this one entirely online. Then depending on how satisfied I am with that I might also read a paper version. I'll blog the results.
My running is going really rather well. I'm feeling confident in my ability to continue this activity that I love. I find I really look forward to my minds wanderings and the sun and the air. To say it's refreshing would be coming up short in description.

Odd Dead Ends

Yesterday I had to travel to the far west valley for work. It was a nice warm windy day and I decided since I was only one block away that I would venture by the Ralphs grocery store where I worked some 8 or 9 years ago.
My employment there lasted less than one year, and was cut short by a car crash, as so much in this life is. Funnier still my employment there began with a traffic infraction of sorts.
When Devin and I moved to California in the summer of the round year 2000 I had only one requirement of myself, don't work in a grocery store. I perhaps applied that rule a bit to drastically in the first few months, stretching it to something more like, don't work anywhere. I didn't. I went to the beach, and I read a lot. I hid out in the apartment. I wrote some songs and recorded them. I made use of the theory of splitting time into half hour blocks and filling those, instead of trying to fill the whole day. This theory is described well in the Nick Hornby book "About a Boy".
I filled these days in a happy haze, it was a nice break from life at a time when I needed it. Soon though the prospect of no money in the big city began to nip at my heels. I was in an active state of running from the constant annoyances in life, I had myself in my Mazda MX3 rocking out to the album Wishville by Catherine Wheel, driving through Chattsworth, California. Flashing lights in my rear view mirror. Reality catching up with me.
Apparently out in Chattsworth they take very seriously the rule that says you need to register your out of state vehicle as an in state vehicle within 10 days of moving there. I of course didn't realize at the time that I was being pulled over for such an easy escape infraction. I didn't really notice that I pulled into a parking space in a grocery store lot to lie to the policewoman. The policewoman gave me a good talking to, a warning ticket and then got in her car and drove away.

Leaving me parked approximately here, looking at this sign from this angle. I sat there and thought for a moment. I cursed myself for the promise I was about to break. Breaking promises to the self is so wrong, it shows a complete lack of caring for what you know is your well being. I had backed me into a corner that I didn't want to be in and I knew that I would need to crawl through shit either way I went. I chose the devil I knew, sucked it up, and stepped in front of the motion sensor at the front door. I filled out my application and slouched back to my car. I drove straight home and by the time I got inside there was already a message on my machine. My impeccable grocery clerking record had done the trick. They had called my old store and were salivating at the notion of abusing me in their very own store. I drove back and talked with the manager and had a job within an hour of being pulled over.
In the beginning I worked normal days clearing the lot of carts and packing bags. I had fun to a degree. I tried to date a Jehovah's Witness. I had a gun stuck in my face while we were getting robbed and I was sexually harassed by a disgusting older female manager. None of it was half as disturbing as the degradation involved in putting on a grocery smock after promising myself I never would again.
Then it got worse.
I made the mistake of displaying competence. My unhidable super human grocery clerking abilities were particularly noticed by the night stock crew manager on those evenings when I would past 10 pm. In his defense I can understand, I think he was really looking to have someone around that was able to speak with words instead of the usual grunts and profanities of the typical over night shelf stocker. He made his intentions to have me on his crew well known, I resisted. It would have been financially much more rewarding but emotionally crippling. Not too mention there were many pretty girls around during the day, none at night.
I held off for sometime, then on day I looked at the schedule and what I thought was a 4 to 12 pm shift had a little am next to it. What could this mean? I asked many people, no one could really tell me. The only advice I got was that it was probably a mistake but I should show up anyway and get the money for doing nothing since no one would Be able to tell me what to do. Bad advice, and probably a bit of manipulation but I was too green to see it or resist it. I showed up and sure enough someone knew what I was there to do.
This fish case you see before you was mine to deal with. From that day forward twice I week I would wake up at 3:00 am, or just stay up and drag my living dead ass into work. It would take nearly half an hour with extremely hot water to melt all the ice in this beauty of seafood case. Then I would have to clean what was left behind up. Old seafood which has been running under hot water at 5am. UGLY. Horrid. Inhumane.
It was on one of these mornings that my fate was hung upon me. November 7th, 2000. Election day. A day that fucked up a lot of people's world, it could be argued every one's world. I was in the checkout line, buying a fuji apple to consume on my lunch when one of the older carryout lady's asked if I wouldn't mind dropping her off at the mechanic. I normally chose to eat my lunch on a bench out front of the store. I did my co-workerly favor and dropped the woman off at the mechanic. I drove back towards the store and decided that I should just drive around a bit and enjoy the rest of my lunch break.
That car met it's fate that day in a major collision on De Soto drive. I had cuts only from the air bag. That day sucked.
I soldier on for another month or so, riding my bike five miles to and from work each day, which really sucked when I was going in at four in the morning. I soon gave up the ship and decided to move to Kansas City to begin a new life.

No More Notches

So good today. My body feels nice, it's sending me signals. It likes what I have been giving it.
Last night I had the best run yet. I run up and down a little trail in Nichols canyon, I figured all told in length that it was about a mile for the trip up and down. Now I find that it's actually a mile and a half. This was nice encouraging news. I last night ran the trail up and down three times in the amount of time it was taking me to run it once when I first began running two months ago. That felt nice. I was in a bit of a hurry so I was really pushing it, and it really paid off time wise.

I'm sitting here this morning listening to a mix cd that my friend Jason made me last weekend. It's very nice, it's making me want to play the guitar right now. This instant.
Last weekend Jason and I had a wonderful guitar playing session. He and I gel very easily when it comes to playing and signing songs. We played some old favorites as well as new favorites. Jason is really coming along with both his playing and singing, very impressed.

Tonight I'm going to see a friend perform comedy. Very much looking forward to it.

Thank God for Suckers

This weekend was a brilliant flash. It was gone so quick, now I have a good long time to replay it in my head and miss it.
This past December Devin and I were pitched a proposal by our tiny sister, she had a notion that we should help our parents celebrate their 35th anniversary by having a surprise party for them. We invited all of my parents old friends and relatives, but the icing on the cake was to be Devin and I flying in secretly for the event. Adrienne pushed very hard for Devin and I to take the plunge, she wouldn't even send out a "save the date" email until we had both booked plane tickets.
In the months leading up to the date there was much planning and secret discussion. Beautiful invites were created and mailed out. Devin and Adrienne purchased all the cheesy decorations they could get their hands on. Strategies were developed and re-developed as each new obstacle presented itself on our path to a memorable party.
The biggest blow to our plan came in the form of great fortune. Our parents ended up finding and making an offer on their dream home, but the closing date fell just one day prior to our party plan, which we all knew would mean that mom and dad would be wanting to move in on the next day! We had a powwow about it and decided our best bet was to have Adrienne call Dad and tell him that she had "booked" something "non refundable". I thought Dad might think something was up, because he is pretty with it but it was the only way we could get them to not make a big plan to move on the date of the party.
As last week arrived Devin, Adrienne and I were all increasingly nervous thinking one of us or a relative or friend would spill the beans. I called Mom and Dad several times, each time mentioning some thing that I had planned to do in Los Angeles over the coming weekend. The most exciting lie came when I had to make my normal ecstatic Friday call, which I normally make immediately after leaving work, from my brothers car on the way to work. As we were driving along and I was talking to Mother Devin turned around to get something from his back seat. As I'm chatting he starts to veer into the next lane and oncoming traffic. I had to think fast and keep in mind that I couldn't scream "Devin, watch the fucking road" because that would spoil the surprise. I improvised on the fly and yelled, something about a car coming into my lane, which made Devin realize that he was about to kill us both! Then I had the task of not biting my tongue off from trying not to laugh at the situation while still on the phone with Mom.
The flight out was uneventful. We parked in airport lot B and had a pleasant shuttle ride to the terminal. Our plane was right on time and even landed in Kansas City a little early. Our ride, Adrienne was a bit late to the airport when she had to pass through a sobriety check point on her way to claim us.
Back at Adrienne's house I had the pleasure of meeting one of her house mates, Dan for the first time. A very funny man that Dan. He inspired me to stay up past my bed time drinking and playing Wii bowling. By the time I was about to crawl into bed it was going to be 2am Los Angeles time so I decided to just stay up ant talk to Angela once she got off work. I finally hit the pillow hard at about 5:30 Kansas time.
10:00 Am, Saturday April 19th. The day of the party. Morning rolled around very quick for me but I was so excited it didn't matter. I got up and showered and traveled to get a cup of coffee for myself and my siblings. Adrienne's good friend Chrissy and her mother showed up and began really stepping up the help, without Chrissy's mom Pam nothing would have gone as well as it did, she was top notch.
The guests were told to arrive no later than 12:30, and Mom and Dad were scheduled to arrive at 1:00. Had I been thinking at all I would have realized that this was an error, my Father likes to have at least an Hour of padding before anything... A new disaster struck us by surprise when Devin and I arrived back at Adrienne's place with the booze to find out that Dad was on the phone with Adrienne and that they were 3 blocks away and were going to head over to have Adrienne go out to eat with them for their anniversary. Sheesh! Adrienne did some quick talking end convinced them she needed to go pic up her car and that she's meet them. She then held them at bay while the rest of us ushered guests in and finished preperations.
By 12:30 we thought we had all the guests hidden away and accounted for. I texted Adrienne to let her know they had all arrived and it was safe to bring them.
Little did I know some old friends of their's, and I will spell this name wrong, the Grecians, were walking up to the party just as Adrienne pulled up with mom and dad. Mom pointed and said, oh my god, the grecians. Adrienne attempted to ignore her and drive right past but that approach did not work out. Adrienne was forced to back up so mom and dad could have a confused discussion with their old friends about why they happened to be on her daughter's street carrying a gift. My parents left the conversation a bit confused but still not fully aware of what was going on.
The moments leading up to the surprise were tense and exciting, I was talking to one of my parent's friends from before their marriage and we were both sure our heads would pop off from the tension.
Before we knew they walked in the door and the surprise was out of the bag. My Mother looked at Devin and I and said "What are you doing here?" Tears were streaming down her face. Dad looked around the room from face to face and stared in disbelief. Everyone was so supportive and happy for them.
It was nice to pay tribute to my parents union, because they have been rock solid for each other these past 35 years they have been able to have a positive impact on so many lives. I am so glad that I had the oppourtunity to in some small way show how much I apprecaite them.

No Worries, It's all the Flurries

I'm in High School again, actually I'm busier. I feel like I did when I first moved to LA. There is so much to be done. It's really rather wonderful. I feel constantly on the move right now and it's delicious. Even my time spent resting feels like accomplishment.
I've been waking earlier more refreshed. Nearly every day this week my eyes have graced the first light of day at 6:30 am. I fight the farmer insticnt in me though and go back to the slumber mill for at least a half hour more. From there it's off to work, where I am putting so much more of my energy these days. I feel like before I coasted so much and just did enough to get by. I've decided there is no point in spending 1/3 of my time at this place without trying to make the most of it. I have the energy to work harder so I am using it.

Each evening there are more things to do, weather it's laundry or picking up random items I need. I had become very much domesticated, and used to certain things being taken care of by another person. I have been enjoying doing these thigns for myself now. I makes me feel more connected to my life, which I find I was needing.

I've been listening to more music than ever, it's makeing me feel magical. I am so very excited to get deep into making more and more of my own.

I have big weekend plans. A wonderful club tonight and seeing "does it offend you, yeah" tomorrow night! YAY! Then a wonderful LA sunday.

A man without a country

"Charlie: You done fucking good.

Seth: I did fucking nothing.

Charlie: That’s often a tough one, in aid of the larger purpose.

Seth: Which is laying head to pillow, not confusing yourself with a sucker?

Charlie: Far as I ever get.

Seth: ‘Cause that’s gonna be a project tonight."



So it is that I am probably no longer in the band I have been in. Five years of having the same constant dream. No such thing as spare thoughts when you are in a band. It's the band all day everyday. There are songs to consider, recordings to consider, artwork to consider, shows to consider, fans and potential fans to consider, your future to consider.
Sharing a dream with other people makes you unbelievably close, your futures are intertwined. What happens to one will happen to all, you are in it together. If they get rich you get rich, if they go broke, you go broke.
I struggled with two other people for Five years, one my brother, the other my girlfriend. We lived and breathed that band. I wanted very much to succeed with them, to have our shared dream become shared reality. I always thought that I would be in the band until it ceased to be a band, and I was comfortable with that. I now face the possibility that the band I was in will succeed without me. Then I will need to reconcile in my head why that became possible after I left but didn't happen when I was there, that could be a tough trick when my head hits the pillow.
Fact of the matter is I know what is true about this. What was happening in the band and in the relationships involved was wrong, it was unhealthy, self destructive and all together incapable of dealing with actual success. To have achieved it in the place we were all in would have been disaster. Something had to change, something had to give. In the end maybe someone had to go. I'm sorry that person was me, but it made the most sense I guess.
I gave up too much of myself in order to fit in the box that so quickly filled in around me in my life. I wanted to always write my own songs and express the things I felt needed expressing. I wanted to make music freely and without boundaries. I wanted to be able to try new parts on old songs and to experiment with excitement. These things are often given up in the dragon chase for fame and success. I wanted to love being in a band and love every time I stepped on stage, regardless of who was watching or how they felt about it. I always wanted to not care about anything but the music but I also always wanted to succeed. There was always a question in my mind of whether the two were mutually exclusive. I still don't know the answer to that question.

I wish my band mates the best of luck. The only hard feelings I have are not aimed at them, and they are not any one's fault. It's unfortunate that things came to pass as they did, but as far as the potential level of misfortune goes I believe we all got off easy. It hurts very much to lose what I have lost, but it is not all loss. There is much to be gained. I have before me now the opportunity to renegotiate my contract with life. I must strive now to not sell myself or my ideas short. There is no easy way, only wrong ways.

I'm not sorry about all that has happened in the last two months, I am sorry that I let things get to the point where these events had to take place.

R.I.P.
buck glitter
2003 - 2008

Oatmeal and Coffee

Today is a nice day. The sun is out. I have a cup of Joe and a big bowl of oatmeal beside me. All is well. I have kick ass concert tickets for Saturday night! All is well.

Last night was nice. I had a wonderful meal prepared by a new friend. Yummy portabella mushrooms with ground turkey and home made sauce, all poured over nice whole wheat pasta. Yummers.

Living Well is the Best Revenge

We have not succeeded in answering all your problems. The answers we have found only serve to raise a whole set of new questions. In some ways we feel we are as confused as ever, but we believe we are confused on a higher level and about more important things.
-Anonymous quote taken from the radio show Car Talk

I've been working hard at improving my life on all fronts, in many areas I still lag but I will not be dwelling on those today, instead I'm just going to focus on the good.

I've been running and hiking like a mad man. 5 to 6 days a week. During the week I've found the best thing that I can do is to take my running clothes and shoes to work with me, changing in the restroom here right before I leave for the day. I then take my normal route towards home (or whatever passes for a home these days)stopping halfway through nichols canyon to run on the Astral Drive Trail. I can't stress enough how important this step has been towards overall improvement. If something is bothering me during the day I usually am able to completely work it out or if nothing else take a needed break from it while I run. I've now been running regularly for 6 weeks.
One observation that I have made about running is perhaps that running without an Ipod or other portable music listening device is ideal. I have tried both methods throughout my life, and perhaps it's my choice of music but I've found that I don't relax as much when I listen and run. I also tend to run too fast and not be adventurous with my route. I've also noticed a pattern that the times of my life when running has existed as an activity tied to listening to music that the longevity of the activity is shorter. There is something for me about running without adding any more distraction than necessary that is vital to the undertaking. There are many voices in the head that are hard to hear as it is, it's nice to have quiet time during each day to listen to what my body and mind are telling me.

I've been trying to take part in new and different activities. I've made a new deal with a very special person in my life that each sunday we will endeavor to do something new and different, that we've never done before. This has already yielded many wonderful new activities. I've been reaching out and trying to do different things with different people. I've been watching films that maybe I wouldn't normally watch and making a conscious effort to support creative endeavors of those around me with my attendance. Stuff like this produces a positive reaction in my being and I think that it's adding to the positive energy I'm trying to put into the world, in order to show appreciation for all that I've received and all that I hope to continue to receive.

I've been thinking about what I eat and drink a lot more too. I've very nearly eliminated diet soda from my life. I used to have 3 or 4 a day at work, which is insane I know now. Having removed diet sodas from my work life I've replaced them with tea and lots of water. This feels so much better and more natural to me. My system must have been working so hard to deal with all the chemicals and toxins that I was putting in it before I can't believe that i was able to function as well as I was.
In this area I have recently embarked into another new dimension. My two bosses eat a bowl of steel cut oats with fruit and nuts here every morning. They have always told me it's the best thing you can eat for breakfast. I've fought their advances to get me to indulge in this treat for many months, until this past Friday. I had skipped breakfast and it smelled good so I thought, why not give it a go. I have now decided I'm going to try and eat it every morning for two weeks, at which time it will be clear to me weather I will continue or not, initial reports look favorable. In addition to the added health benefits, it's also free breakfast, in addition to lunch which they already provide. For lunch I've been trying to stick to salads and grilled meats, with the occasional sandwich wrap.

I've been reading more. This just appears to be a result of a more solitary life that I've been leading. While I do have many great people around me I have noticed that not being in a strictly cohabitation relationship has allowed me more time to do things on my own, many of which naturally lead to having quiet time with a good book. I'm currently reading a great book about Edie Sedgwick, a fascinating read that I would probably never have picked up two months ago.

Another new frontier is that i've actually began to actively care for my skin. It's not easy, apparently I have sensitive skin and my complexion is effected by many factors. I've been introduced to many new products and just yesterday had my first facial... wowsa! Times they are a changin'

Lastly tomorrow morning I have a dental exam. I have never felt naturally inclined to visit a dentist... I'm not afraid of them so much as I hate being patronized by anyone in a smock. Also the money can be a bit tight, even with insurance. However, as more evidence of a positive spin in my life I was greatly encouraged to visit my dentist by the aforementioned special person in my life. This all feels good.

kick ass day

I'm leaving work in 18 minutes. I just had the best day at work and now my real day begins. I'm going to go run. This weekend will be a good one, so much to experience. Thanks world, I'm taunting you.

The Evolution of the Screen

In the past three days it's been my unique position to compare and contrast two vastly different movie experiences.
To begin with sunday, as you can see from the picture above I attended a drive in movie. Two movies to be precise. I was told by Devin that I had been once before to the drive in, to see 9 to 5 in Russel, Kansas but I was not yet old enough to form memories so I don't really count that experience. Sunday was different, having sought out the last Drive-in that L.A. county has to offer I was able to take in 2 movies, Horton Hears a Who and The Spiderwick Chronicles. The movies themselves were wonderfully cute, but the experience of the Drive-in was just magical to me. To sit in the comfort of a vehicle drinking your own beer from a can and eating shitty fast food while listening to the dialogue and soundtrack on the car radio is an experience I can't believe I might have missed. Such a great adventure.

Fast forward two days and I was able to attend a screening of the new Martin Scorsese directed Rolling Stones concert film entitled Shine a Light at the IMAX theater in Universal City. Watching 40 foot versions of the Stones performing at a rumbling volume might be better than actually being at the concert. The clarity with which the action unfolds and the active way in which each instrument is mixed in accordance with the action on the screen makes the concert experience alive in a way that it's can't be from a stationary spot in the audience.

Draw your own conclusions about the relative merits of each format. I am off to walk the dogs.

May April

My life has changed dramatically in the past month. It will continue to change dramatically for at least the next two months as I find a new home and leave an old one behind. I'm a better person today than I was yesterday, I can say that with satisfaction and assurance. I am improving daily and getting better at being myself again. It's been sometime since I could say that with any certainty.
Life has thrown up many challenges and many rewards and I am glad to be along for the ride.
My search for a new home nearly ended this weekend, but rather than force a fit I was convinced to have faith, I can say already today that I feel I'm making a better decision. I am looking for studio apartments around hollywood, checking the daily to see what new options open before me. I picture myself with my thigns ordered around me, creating again and feeling like a human being. It's a positive time, a time to re-evaluate what is important in life and what pursuits are worthwhile. I remind my self daily in this time that it's no longer valid to operate on assumption, that each new moment should be examined on its on for exactly what it is, and that each moment should be accepted as such, with nothing taken as granted.
April is always a magical month for me, it's why I chose to steal yet again the title of this post from myself, from what may be the last S no S album, but what may very well just turn out to be the fifth of at least six. This morning, on this last day of March it I was thinking back and realizing that there was a planned 6th S no S album, entitled "The Recreation", maybe now I will take that path. At the same time I am considering creating a several new projects, and finishing several that have longs since languished in limbo due to lack of attention. I look toward this next month to be a time of continued personal growth, where I will build a new foundation from which to build a new life.
May April be as good as March.

The Use of Inappropriate Volume in Verbal Exchange

I was just asked by our book keeper who answers phones in my office while I go on break if I would like to go on my break now. I didn't want to go on my break because today I hate her and I want her to leave before I go on break so that I can be happy when I come back from that break. So rather than answer politely and have a long conversation about it I simple said in response to her question, at a volume just shy of being a shout, "NOPE". She is leaving right now. When her car pulls out I will go on break. I'm feeling happier already.

Wheels Turn

I have stopped by here today to place a bit of a marker in my blog. Things are changing in my life. I have no desire to blog these changes. This is not the kind of thing you blog about. Unless you are emotionally 14 and happen to blog on myspace.
This marker will exist as a silent monument to personal change. If I know you, and you read this blog, I think I've talked to all 5 of you... but if I missed someone you should perhaps email me. I would be surprised to learn of your existence.

I have a HUGE blister on my right foot. I went for a very long hike on Sunday and it kicked my ass. I have also been running a lot. I have been running in Nichols Canyon, on a fabulous little fire road/Trail. I don't know how long it is but it's very strenuous. I began 2 weeks ago just running up and down it. Last week I started to run up it, then back down, only to turn around at the half way point and run up the steepest part again. Friday and yesterday I was having so much fun that I just stated to run the entire thing twice. It's really a beautiful spot. The sun is setting, there is often a breeze and on a clear day you can see the entire west side all the way to the ocean.

I have been thinking a lot about writing songs again. There are melodies in my head, some of them have words. I am excited to be engaging in that again. There is so much to do in this life.

I don't know if I'll make it home tonight...

This guitar does not even belong to me. It doesn't make the most superb sound. It's mentioned here mainly because I was able to take it with me to Tahiti. I was able to to do that because it was small enough to fit in a modified guitar case which I have. Island hoping planes are not exactly safe for luggage, so the fact that I had no emotional investment in this guitar helped some to. It's the sort of guitar you can take a bath with.
The guitar belongs to an old friend of Amy's, named Nicki. Amy borrowed it when she started our fair band, and she has since gone missing from her life. She resurfaced once, to see the first show where I first played my below blogged about Telecaster, Nodter. All things guitar seem to be connected, do they not? Nicki has children, and Amy misses her. I would love it if she'd again resurface so that her children might one day write songs on this guitar. And they could wonder about it's strange new adornment, which happens to be the Hinano (good Tahitian beer) logo.
There is an actual four track recording of this guitar made in Tahiti, yes, I took a four track to Tahiti... It has since fried, so it will be sometime before we ever hear what it sounds like. If I recall nothing earth shattering was recorded there. I think the best part about taking this guitar to Tahiti, other than having something to play in beautiful settings, was the reaction of the locals. The Tahitian people can be summed up nicely in one odd repeated action that one would never encounter here. Any Tahitian man that worked for a hotel or airline that came near the guitar in it's case would immediately open it to have a look. Many would open it take it out and play it, all without asking, and weather I was there or not. I loved that. It's seems to me that they don't feel the same way about owning musical instruments. We should all feel that way. Let's take the locks off the instruments and instead teach respect and love for people and music. This guitar now means that to me. That's why I want Nicki to come take this guitar back to her kids where it belongs.

Complications.... or Not

I'm a bit stressed. I need to move money from my account to cover the rent in Amy's account, but my ATM card and ID are still at the bar we played at last Friday! UG! Why do people do such things?

It's raining, it wouldn't be a blog entry if I didn't mention this fact. It's also cold. This is a shot of us winning the first round of the Battle of the Bands at Girl Bar. That makes me at least happy yet stressed. It was such a fun time. In all honesty we won simply from an amazing out pouring of support from really great people who all showed up in full force. I took a simple head count before going on stage and felt fairly confident that we had a near lock on it. Having loyal wonderful people in your life can feel delicious.

I'm crossing my fingers and thinking positive that this momentum can continue. To that end Devin and I have been spending time revamping an email list system for the band. For years it's been just an annoying pain in the ass to run the list from AOL. We've now switched to a new website called Reverbnation, it seems to make much more sense.

Yesterday Amy, Marc and Von traveled to Malibu where Amy cut vocals with an exhausted sleep deprived Hoagie. The report from both Von and Marc was that it went reall very fabulous. I'm super excited to hear that!

This post started out about complications and just sort of got happy. I will drink to that.

Rondalin

This Fender mandolin means a great deal to me. It was a gift from my Uncle Ronnie, who's importance in my life I couldn't begin to put in words. I can put it in music though, and I think he'd prefer that anyway. I've named it Rondalin, which I think is perfect because it's obviously named after Ronnie, but my mothers name, being Rhonda is implied in the spoken name. It I don't recall exactly when Ronnie purchased it but I'm almost certain I was living in Kansas City and working on S no S at the time.
I was completely impressed with how quickly he seemed to grasp it. It seemed like he already knew what he was doing with it the first time I saw it. It was about the time that I was working on the last S no S record "May April", and that album had become a lot about real instruments and other people playing on it. It made perfect sense that Ronnie would play on the record, and since it was already a little folkie it made sense to have him play mandolin on it as well. This very mandolin is on the songs: "Timiner", "Lushing" and "A Vague Return". My favorite moment of the whole album is the part at the very end of "A Vague Return", you hear Ronnie talking, he says: "I gotta get that note to..." then you hear him play the riff with emphasis on the note in question. I love that part. We recorded that part when it was very late at night, we were both probably a little to drunk to be recording, Ronnie was leaning against what used to be the north wall of his basement studio, a wall he has since taken out. We were both on the verge of passing out but somehow I got a microphone plugged in and turned on a preamp, I stuck a pair of headphones on him and let him go. For a guy that was barely keeping his eyes open the minute before he let out the last 8 bars of that song like he was making magic, it felt like he was performing open heart surgery on me, in a beautiful way. That song is the last song on the album, and we'd basically made that album together, working together or just bouncing ideas back forth over the internet and that was the last song recorded. Ronnie knew all that material, or had been exposed to all of it during that time, but in listening to what he played I felt completely certain that he had understood that song, that album and what I was saying. It was the first moment that I ever really felt like I'd been able to communicate something like that to another person. Making my own music and telling my own story became instantly worth while in that moment. Knowing that possibility can become reality is essential.

Ronnie gave me this mandolin last year when I traveled back to Kansas to attend my sister's graduation from law school. Once again we were back in his basement, and there had been a bit of drinking. I was wondering around his now expanded and improved studio, taking it all in. Going from instrument to instrument that had been hung on the walls, most of which were old familiar friends. When I got to the Mandolin I pulled it from the wall and plucked on it a bit, Ronnie was watching me and smiling. He asked me then if I wanted it, and of course I said yes! I was already in love with it from the above mentioned session. Then he said what I think is a perfect ending line.

"I've been waiting to give that to you for along time"

Do ya Get Da Jitters?

I'm listening to a rough mix of a song on our new album called "The Collection" I am in love with this song. This past tuesday while filling up with gas on my way to Malibu, I looked up from the pump and saw this Sign.
How odd?

Tonight is a battle of the bands show. I hate the idea. God do I hate it. It's actually a battle of attendance.

More instruments to come next week.

The Singe Guitar (the guitar that started it all)

In the beginning there were no guitars. There were band names that my best friend Jason and I had made up. There were lyrics in notebooks. There were even odd sounds made on a tape recorder and later my parents computer. But there were no guitars.
One day my brother Devin changed that, he walked into my parents house on Country Lane in Hays, Kansas with a low end Ibanez Electric guitar in his hands. He told me that I was going to learn to play it and that we were going to be in a band together. That single moment changed my life. It's been a long journey, Almost 15 years. Half of my life to this point. It's never been easy, but it's been more fun than at that time I realized life would be. I would have never bought myself a guitar. I am not that kind of person, that type of motion is not in my DNA.In relaying this story I'm struck by how profound the significance each choice that is made or not made is. They won't necessarily all be life changing, but they can be. Every day is a chance to be what you want, or to help someone else be something better. Come home with a guitar every once in a while.
Devin bought the Singe guitar from a want ad in the paper, before the convenience of craigslist or ebay. He looked in the paper, found a phone number, called it, traveled to a strangers house, paid $125 of his own earned money for a guitar and $50 for an amp. The guy had a daughter, she told Devin it was her father's baby. I like to think that she missed the point, that she was really his baby, and that she was the reason he was selling something dear to him.
When Devin left that day he left his new guitar with me, I guess to familiarize myself with it. I took it up to my room. I knew nothing. In some ways it's been that way ever since! I recall my first thought was that I should know what every note sounded like. I made a plan that everyday I would play every note on that guitar at least 10 times. I didn't stick to that notion very long.
Devin eventually took the guitar to his trailer house in Meadow Acres (blog about that place Devin) but I had my own key and I was more than welcome to go there and play it. I would go there some afternoons. I remember what that guitar sounded like in that trailer house through that amp very well. At that point I was printing out tablature and learning the intros to songs I knew, cause I could never play the whole song. I was horrid at playing chords and most single note action was beyond me. Devin helped where he could, and then Joe came along and helped a great deal.

I played this guitar in Singe exclusively. After Singe broke up I got a new guitar for Plaything. The Singe guitar stayed in the Singe era, it was brought out of retirement for this S no S promo photo above, but I don't recall it being playable by then. The electronics are screwy, and the action is jacked and it now rests in a storage shed in Kansas City. No matter, my life's course has been significantly altered already. I might even be the type of person now who would take the initiative to buy himself something that could potentially change his life. I might even one day pass the favor on to someone else.

No Name, Just Slogan

This is the first guitar I bought with... someone else's money. Visa to be exact. Let me be clear about this for the young folks, never buy a guitar you can't afford on credit, unless you've played it and you feel justified in later selling your body to pay for it, preferably later that night so you can minimize the absurd amount of interest accruing on your credit card. But enough with the bitterness.
Visa bought me this guitar in the fall of 1998. I ordered it from musicians friend for something in the neighborhood of $550. If I had bought a Standard Telecaster at the time instead I would probably be a much better guitar player and have better credit. Alas I did not. I don't regret that I didn't make this choice, because I'm not the kind of guy who goes around believing that it's wise to second guess the space time continuum.
This guitar is an Epiphone Les Paul Standard. Epiphone does not sell nice guitars, the like a lot of low end guitar builders make guitars that can be made nice. In the beginning this guitar had god awful plastic tuning pegs, which couldn't hold a guitar in tune to save my sold for credit soul. One of them would eventually break, forcing me to tune the guitar with a pair of vice grips for a while. Ronnie finally saved my bacon and replaced the broken peg for me. Ronnie is handy!
Being a teenager and waiting for your new guitar to come by parcel delivery is very difficult. I waited as best I could the 2 weeks it took this guitar to arrive. Finally the day came when the tracking number stated my package would be delivered. I waited all day and as the afternoon faded my evening shift at Dillons Grocery store Loomed present. I had to work 6 to midnight, and by 5:30 I was crushed, knowing I had to face yet another dreadful shift placing cans, bags and boxes on shelves. To assure getting to work on time across the bussling metropolis that is Hays, Kansas, I had to leave my parents house by 5:45. By 5:50 I bit the bullet and left. As I drove crestfallen down 41st street, I kept glancing back in my review mirror. Just as I Neared the old Tupperware building I saw the big brown UPS truck turn the corner onto Country Lane. Dillons be damned I turned around and sped towards my house. As I rounded the corner I saw the UPS truck leaving my driveway! I pulled in just after he left and ran into the house. There was the box! There was my new guitar! I opened the box and plucked the guitar from it's case. It looked beautiful. I would have it for years before the short comings of the hardware really hit me.
I played this guitar with my first 2 bands Singe and Plaything. It was my go to electric guitar during that time. As the years went by the tuners just got worse and the electronics started to short out. Eventually it would fall into very little use as I started to favor the acoustic guitar after plaything broke up. It was resurrected as best as possible with out a complete overhaul and became the only electric guitar used on any S no S record, except for of course Ronnie's bitchin' lead on "Mind Unusual".
When I moved to North Hollywood and slowly fell into SG I intended to make use of the guitar then, by that time the tuning pegs were wobbly and the screws that held most hardware in place were stripped. Then Nodter came along and this guitar went back in it's case and sat for a long while. Finally one day it occurred to me that I shouldn't just let it sit. I had gone into serious Credit Card Death for this guitar, my parent bailed me out. I should fix it. Fix it I did. I rewired the switch and a volume pot, making the most of my awful solder skills. I purchased Grover Locking tuners and learned from the internet how to bore the holes in the head stock safely bigger to install them. All of that said and done I ended up with a guitar that finally feels like it's worth what I paid for it, as long as you don't factor in the interest and the stress of an unpaid credit card.
As of now this guitar still has no name. It does sport the Findadeath.com death hag sticker proudly. I even went so far as to play it during a gig filmed for LOGO, on the off hand chance that the sticker would be on TV. I'm like that.

Nodter... Number 1

This is my special guitar. For the past four years this one has been my number one go to guy guitar. Its been everywhere I've been and played at all but 2 shows and is prominently featured on every recording. I love this guitar. I'm sorry to be such a dork like that. I admit it. I'm the kind of guy who goes around loving the inanimate.
I don't know the exact day that I purchased this guitar but I do have a small range of days. The first gig I played with Shitting Glitter happened on this date at this place:

2/15/03 Westchester B&G - Serial Mom Presents - Los Angeles, CA
I did not have the guitar then, at that time I had an acoustic guitar in my possession and an electric that wouldn't stay in tune to save it's life. I ended up playing that horrid gig with a borrowed acoustic/electric through an amp. It was after that gig that I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I would need a new guitar. This is the first gig where I used my new Telecaster:
4/8/03 The Derby - FemMuse - Los Angeles, CA w/ Abigail’s Attic

This guitar is the first and only guitar I've actually purchased as a thinking adult. I had made mistakes as a young dude in the guitars I went for before, never really seeing the forest for the laminate particle board trees. Of course my uncle Ronnie was handy during this decision time as well, I think it was he who initially steered me towards a fender. Ronnie also gave me another crucial piece of advice which essentially made the decision of which Telecaster to get for me. He told me to play them unplugged and listen for a good acoustic sound, if it sounds good acoustic, it will sound good plugged in.
With Ronnie's advice in mind I set out one day from my apartment in North Hollywood to find my new guitar. I walked a few blocks to the subway, caught a train into Hollywood and walked from Hollywood Blvd. to Sunset. I stopped in every guitar shop on Sunset Blvd between Highland and Beverly Hills, playing every Mexican made Telecaster I could get my hands on. Most were well made and had decent acoustic sound, but through the first five or so stores I felt no magic in any particular guitar. The last store I planned to stop at was a Sam Ash at Crescent Heights and Sunset, in the complex that has now lost the Virgin Mega Store. The Sam Ash haslong since moved down Sunset where they took over Manny's, which used to be my favorite guitar store. My guitar was literally the last Telecaster I played that day, number 40 of approximately 40 if you will. I immediately loved the color. I have still not ever seen another guitar that color. The color helped but it was the first G major Chord I strummed on it that really set it apart.
I didn't at the time have the $350 dollars they wanted for the guitar, I had made a deal with our singer Amy, she would put it on credit and allow me to pay her back. It's amazing what risks singers of bands will take for their musicians. I had planned to call Amy and have her come meet me if I found a guitar I liked that night, but for some reason I didn't call her. I took one more look at the guitar and walked out the door back onto Sunset Blvd. I walked another mile or so over to Amy's house considering the guitars I had played. For some reason the last guitar hadn't completely stuck out in my mind as "the guitar".
I eventually completed my walk to Amy's apartment, I told her a bit about my guitar adventure and then we just fell head long into the Weho night. We went out that night in the neighborhood jumping from bar to bar and drinking and talking. We must have decided to stop into the motherlode for a drink at some point because we were walking back from Pavilions Grocery store where we had gone to get cash when suddenly I was struck by the oddest thought. Like a bullet a name popped into my head, a ridiculous name. A name that could only be true and from something else, because it doesn't occur naturally in my brain. The name was Nodter, and in the moment I knew the name I knew that it was the name for that last guitar I had played. I felt a rush of panic knowing that I had left Nodter in the store and that he could be bought out from under me. I was nervous for the rest of the evening thinking that I may have let my guitar slip through my hands. I was so distraught I could barely party the rest of the night away.
I don't know if I slept that night, I think I laid down for an hour or two before the guitar store opened but I know it wasn't productive. I ended up leaving while Amy was asleep and heading back to the store. Nodter was still there on the wall. I played it again and confirmed my previous feelings. I needed this guitar. I had the sales guy hold it for me while I went back to get Amy and her magic credit card. I think Devin even went along to pick it up with us, as he needed something new as well.

Over the years many stickers have found a home on Nodter, most though are just temporary. The one above has been stuck below the bridge for a long time. It actually came from a gay Marriage ralley we played at in Silver lake. I stuck it on that day and it's been there ever since. This was the date of the show:

5/15/04 Sunset Junction - Marriage Equality Rally - Silver lake, CA

This sticker, which is worse for the wear since it's on the back of the guitar is a bit of psychic healing. It's a sticker of a piece drawn by Von, who used to be the guitar player in SG. It's a drawing of Devin and Amy and above it Amy wrote the words, "The end deserves happy endings, Fresh Draw"
A tradition I've been taking part in now for 4 years is sticking my voting stickers on this guitar, though I think I missed a local one here and there. The top one pictured here is from 2006, when the dems fought back control of both houses of congress. Below it is my 2008 Presidential Primary sticker. I won't mention who I voted for as it's just too timely.

I hate this sticker. This is 2004 general election. EW. We all feel the same about that. It pains me to see this sticker sometimes, that's why I placed it here, where you can't see it and where I sweat on it with my thumb during "The Apple Falls"

Here is a shot of the strap in a little detail, it's a planetary theme. You can also see my lucky lady bug sticker and the remainder of an ACLU sticker which used to say "I refuse to surrender my freedoms" now it just says "I refuse", which I like a bit better even.
This last shot is of Nodter and I in Iceland. Rather than name all the recordings nodter appears on I felt it would be easier to name some of the places Nodter and I have been.

All over southern California goes without saying, Many times we've played in San Francisco. We've also played north of there in Portland and Seattle. We've played in Albuquerque, NM two or three times, as well as Flagstaff, AZ. We also made a trek to New York to play. We had the best time together in Iceland though, even If I was bit worried about him on the flight over.

Ellella

I try not to be a regular guitar player musician dude, but I occasionally have my weaknesses. Today I will be indulging one of them. There exists within modern musicians, particularly guitar players a need to share pictures of their various pieces of musical equipment and give biographical information about them... So over the next year or so I'll be indulging that part of me, and passing them on to you.

This is Ellella. My first acoustic guitar. My second guitar ever, and the oldest one currently in my immediate possession (my very first and oldest guitar is in a storage facility in Kansas City). This guitar came to me around my senior year of high school, 1997. I remember my parents hade recently purchased a new flute for my sister to use in the school band. I knew also in the past that they had done the same for my brother for at least one other instrument. This struck my teenage brain as somehow unfair. I took my case to my parents, that just because I didn't play an instrument that they allowed in the school band shouldn't mean that they should not buy me an instrument same as my siblings. The blow was softened due to the object of my desire being an acoustic guitar. My parents being supportive level headed people heard my case and decided amongst themselves that I did have a valid point, and that when it was financially possible they would be willing to help me out.

One Saturday soon after our conversation my parents and I headed to Midwest Music on Main Street in Hays, Kansas. I was nervous. I've always hated playing guitars in guitar stores. I hate the fellow customers and employees. I know they are judging everything you play an do... I know this because I do it to, and never very nicely. The store had a good assortment of instruments to choose from, and many in my price range. I narrowed it down to a natural wood fender and the black laqoured Ibanez you see pictured here. I have often times wished I had gone for the natural wood, which I so much prefer. I was however young and quite possibly very stupid. The black one reminded me also of my ex-uncle Gene.

Over the years I've have come to appreciate the thick black finish because the guitar is now about 15 years old and it's spent a lot of time in the back seat of vehicles and carried around to beaches and parks. It's the only guitar that has lived in every place that I've lived since I started playing guitar. The first time I really Bonded with the guitar was when I moved to California in 2000 and lived with my brother in the West San Fernando Valley. Having packed up our cars for the move there was very little room for equipment. I could only bring one guitar and I chose the acoustic since I couldn't bring an amp anyway. During this time the guitar and I made many trips out to a small park, I think Chatsworth Oak park off Topanga Canyon. We would climb to the top of a large rock and play for an hour or so in the evenings. During this time I slowly began to understand the guitar better.
When I moved from California to Kansas City I didn't have the guitar for a few months. I am not even certain how I finally got it back, but I do know that the second and third S no S records made at this time do not contain this guitar. The Forth S no S Record, Restless features this guitar here and there, though it is mainly an Electric guitar record. The Final S no S record was almost exclusively written on this guitar. With the exception of Ronnie's Martin Copy it's on every track on that album as well. It was during this year and a hlaf that I lived in Kansas City that the guitar became the object that I know and love. It wasn't until this time that the name Ellella came to me, for reasons so forgotten. It was also the guitar that I took with me to work everyday at the Nursing home. I sang to many an old lady with that Ellella in hand. The stamp featured in teh photo above was stolen from the nursing home. It's an F.Scott Fitzgerald 23 cent stamp. It makes sense that I would stick it to the back of my guitar.

When I moved to Los Angeles the guitar cam with me on the flight. It was on Ellella that I participated in writing my first Shitting Glitter Song "High and Tight".

The list of SG songs that it's been recorded on are as follows:

From Post no Bills:
Makes sense, Ariana, Chicken, Mustache Rides

From the Iw6 single:
The incomparable White Six Acoustic Version

From the Ladyslipper Single:
Ladyslipper, Luscious Mag

From FAS:
High and Tight, Grady, The Amnesty Party

Ellella also once made a trip to Colorado where she and I provided the wedding music for a two friends Kevin and Marny. Kevin is no longer with us. I know don't really know what to do with the piece of music I wrote for their wedding.

Welcome Mat

Today felt like home. I woke up early, something ridiculous like 9:30 am. I wondered into the living room where a pink mouth met me stretched wide in an I'm hungry "Meow". I shuffled sock footed behind the tail raised in anticipation into the kitchen. I opened a cabinet with my opposable thumb and plucked a packed of gravy from perch. The pink mouth watched in amazement, If he could do this himself he wouldn't even need me, at least until the gravy perch was empty of packets. The mouth I wondered into the living. The sun beamed in through the half opened window. I picked up a piece of cornbread wrapped in cellophane and unwrapped it. I plucked off a corner and enjoyed it. It was good. I had another bite. I then walked back to the kitchen and found a fruit juice beverage in the fridge. The top made a satisfying pop when twisted off. I had a very large drink. I took a few steps to my right and opened my email. Hoagie had written sometime earlier that morning to say that he'd been cranking away on "Socially Activist" all night and was just now getting to bed. He said we should come at around 3 O'clock. I wandered back into the living room and had another bite of cornbread. I snuggly wrapped the cornbread back into it's airless existence and set it back on the table. I walked back to the bedroom and climbed in the bed.

My real day began Saturday just after 1 Pm. I woke up feeling fresh and excited. Phone calls were made things were eaten and the normal human cleaning transpired. By 2:15 Devin, Amy and I were all in the car en route to Malibu, home of the fantastic Sea monster Sounds.

Our first order of business was an eyes shut preview of "Socially Activist". There had been some misunderstandings along the way on what the song would be and in what directions the song had been heading. The past two weeks had been spent getting everyone on the same page and moving forward to the completion of the song. I think it was beyond clear to the three of us sitting there with out eyes closed staring at the screen that it had all been worth it. It had been one of my least favorite songs in the past, and now I can't hear it enough. Devin told me ha can't imagine it not being a hit. There are certain moments when I'm overwhelmingly proud to be in the band I'm in, making the records we are making, this moment was one of the big ones.

Next order of business was tracking some passes at final vocals. First up was Legalese. I helped set up and listened to the first take, then I decided I should let the magic happen. I went for a nice meandering walk through the hills above the studio. Listening to the sounds of the surf. It felt great to be out of the city, knowing something was being accomplished.

Returning to the studio I listened at the door for brief moment. Amy was somewhere in the middle of the 30 vocal takes she would do on "Legalese" through out the day.

I watched the sunset from the back porch with my guitar and glass of wine. Across the canyon from me I could see three deer grazing. If I abruptly changed the part I was playing their heads would perk up and point in my direction.

After the sunset food was prepared. Amy and Hoagie emerged from the studio for a brief break and then returned to cut vocals for "Idiot Light". They emerged again several hours later and we all socialized and lounged around.

If days get better than this I don't want any part of them.

Now I'm Really Living

Hello. It's a fine time to be writing a blog. It's almost 4 O'clock on friday. Put that in your mouth, it delicious. This weekend is all about being in a band. Tomorrow morning the entire note producing portion of our marry band is heading out to Malibu to check in on our baby. It's so very exciting to me at this time. Amy hasn't been out there in a while, and in her absence there has been a lot of good happening. One tune, "The Collection" has really become a stand out track since she last heard it.
As little pieces of the album fall together I find myself impressed by it's scope. In my mind I try and recall the picture of what we started the process with, and where it looked like it was headed, I barely can, but I can get enough of a picture to recognize the growth that has happened even in the studio. We are shooting now for thirteen tracks. I hope they all make because I have special feelings for them all.

Sunday we rehearse for the Battle of the Bands. Our drummer Alexa will be playing with us this show, which always makes playing more fun. We are going to be a force to be reckoned with that day. I hate when bands battle. I can't believe we even doing it. Sheesh!

L8tes.

The Stained Glass Ceiling

This is the ceiling of the pool table room at satellite studios where we enjoy rehearsing. We've been going there since they opened and have always enjoyed it. Yesterday was no exception, however I did feel a bit of frustration with myself for not remembering many of the new guitar parts I've come up with four the third album. Luckily they are recorded, nothing like listening to your own record to figure out what the hell you are supposed to play. It's still very exciting, we are working on a lot of great new material, but it's becoming clear to me that it will take an effort similar to that which I had to put in when I first joined the band, this time at a higher level. I've been noticing signs though that I'm better at playing now, and up to the challenge. I like to work on what I love.

So the collaboration which I spoke about has been ratified by the other party, Houston Bernard. I'm very much looking forward to working with him. In turn we will be remixing his new single, "I feel Gorgeous". All of this is very promising. Makes me excited, which in turn helps me work.

The show Friday was really fun. I enjoyed the playing the crowd and all 3 other bands. Moscow was a young band of girls and they were actually really fun to watch. They had some very good tunes and their guitar player was pretty grand as well. Our friends Crush have made some leaps forward and their new stuff is pretty rad! Always happy to perform with them.

Too Funny

Snapped this picture on the way back from lunch today. Cracks me up.

A review I found the other day, I likey it.

The Bluesbunny - Independent Music Reviews
The Bluesbunny Music Reviews

Shitting Glitter
Sidesaddle Sweet Talk
Decadrisco Records
2007

Even here at the home of the eclectic we were taken aback by this one. Think of John Waters at his excessive best put to the music of Giorgio Moroder and you have the less than subtly named Shitting Glitter. This band can be rude, crude and certainly not for prudes. And frankly we approve whole heartedly.

"Slut Buffet" is the centerpiece of this seven track EP, although with three versions they are perhaps being a touch over indulgent even if it is easily the best track on the CD. The "Solar City Slutty Radio Edit" is our favourite version and one that can challenge even the late lamented Divine for the title of crown prince (or should that be princess!) of over the top bad taste Europop style synth-music. You will catch yourself humming along to it, so infectious is the rhythm. We do however advise against singing it aloud at work - you are liable to be sacked as it is likely to offend everyone. "Mustache Rides 5 Cents" is the other standout track - another piece of hi-energy 'trash' that you just can't help but like.

The only thing that's stopping "Slut Buffet" becoming a deserved hit is the title, and perhaps the lyrics… actually the band's name probably is helping either! Nevertheless this is CD is outrageous fun. So play it to your friends but just don't stand too close otherwise you'll end up with bruised toes as their jaws hit the ground. Available from CD Baby.


Review by: Bluesbunny

Before I Sputter Out

So much to be done. After a day or two of feeling a bit less than thrilled about all things, I've regained my thrills. I am back deeply on top of them. If you are sitting there in ponderance of why, then I'll tell you that time heals all wounds. If that doesn't satisfy you then I will tell you things are looking up. Then I'll change the subject.

I had a great idea last night. SG has a song that was floundering in a limbodic state, not certain of it's fate and our new album. My brand spanking idea though shot it in the arm with adrenaline. We have been waiting to collaborate with an old friend, a certain bisexual electro punk rapper, who won't be named until he consents to the collaboration. I'm really excited about the prospect, I am shocked I didn't think of him for this song earlier.

The song is called Milk Money. It's a school yard bully scenario. It will feature rad trade off lyrics and a super hot beat. I'm in it to win it.

This whole business of attempting to entertain people is the oddest. What an ego trip we are all on. Why bother?! There just happens to be something in certain people that needs to do this. We are all crazy for it.

*****

I like to make those five stars when I've essentially finished the blog but for what ever reason I don't want to stop typing. Now you are in on an obvious secret of my blog.

Lots of shows are coming up. This tomorrow is a fun one at the Anarchy Library. I enjoy playing in that place, always. It really suits me.

Art on the Outside/Art on the Inside

Last night Amy and I went to see this thing. It's part of West Hollywood's Art on the outside program. It's neat. It's kind of big. It's Dan Corson's "Empyrean Passage". It would be fun to exprience in an altered state.

here is more info

This week SG recieved bad news on 2 shows we had been hoping to play. Thick skin is such a requirment in this venture, but more important than that is what is inside, becasue the skin will never be thick enough to keep all this out. At some point of constantly struggling for art and life and love the blackness will get it, not even armor could hold up. The insides need to be able to keep light when the dark does get in.

the rainy shades

Things plod along. Some disappointing news over the weekend. We won't be playing Athens Pride in Greece as I had been Hoping. So now already it would appear that one item on my list will not come to pass. This is not exactly heart breaking, it's just unfortunate. I have always wanted to go to Greece.

SG is currently going full force after a brief side tracking. Recording on Album number 3 is hitting a higher gear than it's been at for some time. Last week I spent both Tuesday and Thursday night working with Hoagie at Seamonster Sounds. Wednesday night I spent practicing at home. It can get difficult to work an 8 hour day, drive for close to an hour then play guitar for 4 or 5 hours, only to turn around drive a half hour home walk in the door, plop down and have a drink, retire to the bedroom to sleep less 6 or 7 hours and wake up for work again. My god, that sounds like complaining. I actually put it out there just as a way of recognizing how much I love doing what I'm doing.

I don't pursue my musical obsession because I am chasing a carrot stick of fame and fortune, I do it because I love it. In our pop culture obsessed country, particularly my pop culture obsessed corner of it; is easy to become confused about ones own motivations. Cashing in as it were. Sure it would be nice to not have to suffer through the early mornings of work after the late nights of my life. On those mornings I just lean in close to my desk, pull my hat down to the top of my eyebrows and close my eyes. As I drift a bit in the ether I think about the music I have still to make, and how important it is to me to make it. Then I don't feel more tired then alive.

*****

Yesterday was a good day. Woke up late and watched 2 episodes of the show "The Riches". Then picked up Devin and went to rehearsal at Satellite Studios in Atwater Village. We got to play with our drummer Alexa for the first time in almost 2 months. Rehearsal went great and we started hatching many plans. Afterwards I got to go eat Baja Fresh w/ Devin and then the two of us went to see "There Will be Blood" at the arclight Theater. It was nice to just be out doing something alone with my brother. I loved the movie. It was all the sweeping scenery that a person needs sometimes. It was beautiful and could probably have gone on for another 2 hours.

*****

Today I am again a bit beat. I've already pulled my self through the time of the ether and I'm now using this blog to awaken my fingers. Sipping wonderful coffee.

I'd die for my life but I wouldn't kill for it.

patter

Yes, the rain continues. You know that phraase about pouring? Let's make an effort to apply it to the positive things one can engage in. Let us try to be better friends. More empathetic people.
But let us stick to our guns to. Lets us fire from the hip. Let us have the good instinct to not regret those shots. Let us.

I'm going to have a great day today. I'm smitten with the grey. I've been more productive in it's presence. Maybe I need to move to Portland.

All the possibilities.

I'm going to sit calmly back, and make a list of things that I'd like to see transpire in the new year.

1. Elect a new president.
2. Learn more Mandolin Chords.
3. Finish the the third Shitting Glitter Album.
4. Finish the Fourth Shitting Glitter Album.
5. Run More than last year.
6. Read Ulysses - Then make Jason explain it.
7. Spend more time with Jason. Somehow, Some way.
8. Start blogging short pieces of fiction.
9. Play in Greece.
10. Be a good person.

pitter

I blog in the rain. I think it's very nearly a fact. Go through my blogs, and check the farmers almanac. I think it might be a Hunter S. Thompson thing. I was reading a piece written by a long term editor of his and the editor spoke about how Hunter had to set the scene to begin a piece, had to describe the weather, and therefore had to have something to describe. Maybe I am caught up in that mess from to much reading of his work. Could be. Bloody hell.
I just read a book about Hunter, an oral history of those that knew him and worked with him, suffered through him if you will. It was called Gonzo and I enjoyed it greatly. I read it through one pink eye.
Also in my one pink eye reading was a book called "Survivor" by Chuck Palahniuk. I really enjoyed reading this one. Read the first half really late at night and finished the second half the next day. Much enjoyed. I should have read it all the first night though because It seemed to fall off a bit in the second half, and that might have just been me.
I'm listening right now to the Frames. Fits the rain quite well. I'm drinking tea. I have a knit cap on. The dog buddy is under my desk, just left of my feet. These are the factors. They've all happened recently on other occasions, yet I have not blogged.

Last January I made a small list of things I hoped to accomplish last year, lets see how I did shall we.

Brandon's 2007 half ass goal list:

1. Rename the blog
2. Finish blog entry started 2 years ago, a detailed description of the landscape of my boyhood farm.
3. Somehow obtain a new "number 1" guitar.
4. Return to Iceland
5. Play in the UK
6. Eat Healthy
7. Exercise
8. Read
9. Go back to Kansas
10. Skip 10 year High School Reunion

Brandon's 2008 check in what was actually half assed accomplished in 2007:

1. Check! I did this one. I kicked this ones ass. Probably the day after I said it. The blog used to be Believable needs, now it's External Mind Drive. YAY!

2. Number 2 is still in the works and I feel horrid about it. I should finish it soon before my capacity to do it as it's been started vanishes.

3. Somehow obtain a new "Number 1" guitar. This is tricky, but in late December I think I did just that. It's hard to tell though, because it's a way different beast than the first number 1. you probably saw the picture of it last month. It's a beautiful semi-hollow body electric. It plays very nice. Thus far I've only had one occasion to use it live, and It performed wonderfully. Yet it's HUGE! So my dancing suffers a bit, that and I feel pretty precious about it so I get concerned about dingy it around. That's a Problem I've never had with the telecaster since it's basically a plank with strings and pickups. Anyway, Angie Diamond deserves huge thanks for giving me a guitar. That is a great thing to do for me, and it makes me feel special. I actually just two nights ago got to hear the recorded result of the guitar and they were amazing. WOW.

4. Return to Iceland. No! Fuck. maybe this year.

5. Play in the UK. nope. This is actually already in the works for this year though, so we will see.

6. I did eat healthy, just not the entire year.

7. I did exercise more in 2007 than I did in 2006. This will be on the 2008 list as well, hopefully I can do a little better every year.

8. I did read, a lot. Happy about that.

9. I went back to Kansas to see my wonderful sister graduate from law school. I was very happy about this.

10. I didn't even consider going to my 10 year reunion.

I'm going to score this a 7 out of 10. Stay tuned for my 2008 list.

Eye yi Eye

I'm tired of having conjunctivitis. It's a shitty way to start a new year. It makes all my usual beginning of anything new feeling feel not there. Amy suffered through this horrid affliction for a bit over two weeks. Today I am at 8 days and so not happy about it. Oh well, it will pass.

I have other stuff I want to type about but I'm thinking I'll wait.

Welcome to 2008, year of the EYE.