Again with the gathering wind

I feel the electric today. I am actually almost ashamed. Certainly I feel nuts or nutty. More of this business with our band is picking up and my reactions are all over the global topographic map.

I am eating much better right now. Or at least I am considerate of what I am eating. I feel better too.

Financially things are not dire at the moment. I am a successful starving artist of sorts. I just read or heard someone talking about that concept... I think it was an old high school friend telling my dad that. It's nice though, there is debt but it's going the way towards the black instead of the way towards the red.

I feel more focused. I still engage in questionable behavior, but on a whole I'm growing up.

Damn. I feel the electric.

I really want to take some time and write something here that makes a lick of sense, but it's really hard to taste with this fresh metal flavor in my mouth. My fingers are traitors. Actually they're patsies... They work for the traitor.

This is the sound of freakout. This the fork with option to breakdown.

There is a quote from a baseball player, I think it was... (fine, I'll look it up)

"When you get to a fork in the road, take it" - Yogi Berra*


So that's kind of the rub, all that mass of excited confusion. Overcoming some of those feelings that want to scream at me about not being good enough. I'm just going to take that fork when I get to it. See you guys at the house.








*from wikipedia -Yogiisms are quotations by Yogi Berra, who, besides being a baseball player, was also famous for fracturing the English language in provocative, interesting ways. Similar phrases, spoken by other people, are also sometimes called "Yogiisms".

When you get to a fork in the road, take it.
Berra insists that this is part of some driving directions to his house. In his hometown of Montclair, New Jersey, there is a fork in the road and either way you take, you will get to his house. Some people find this to be a very poignant quotation, thinking it means that when you find a challenge, overcome it.

Shake

raughtic: we are confirmed for Iceland
buckglitter: WHAT!!!????
buckglitter: OMG!!!
raughtic: he wrote today
buckglitter: forward... are we going?
buckglitter: OMG
buckglitter: i'm shakintg
raughtic: I just forwarded it to you
raughtic: don't shake silly
raughtic: I have to go to the bank. back later.
buckglitter: OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Basis

I picked out a Bass amp and cabinet for Devin last Friday night, found it on craigslist and picked it up on the way home from work. The amp is a Hartke 3500. The cabinet is an old Peavey 1516 with a blown 15 inch speaker. I got both at a really nice price, so that by the time I pay for the replacement basket for the speaker in the cabinet we will still have a nice bass rig for a really low price. We tested the head at rehearsal, and I think it proved itself worth while.
I've been working towards having the sequenced drums and bass lines treated as separate entities in the live world for some time, with the new set up we will be able to do this fairly easily. I think taking some of the watt sucking low end out of the system we use to amplify the drums will give us a much thicker fuller sound. It should also give more control to the sound man when dealing with the overall mix. There are some kinks to work out in the process, but I think it will be a good time to re-think some things.

Things Coming up

Up coming SG shows:

Apr 14 2006
8:00P
to be announced
New York City, NY
Apr 15 2006
10:00P
to be announced
New York City, NY
Apr 21 2006
9:00P
Blue Cafe
Long Beach, CA
May 6 2006
9:00P
The Cat Club
West Hollywood, CA
May 12 2006
11:00P
The Palms
West Hollywood, CA
May 13 2006
1:00P
Santa Barbara Pride
Santa Barbara, CA
May 19 2006
8:00P
Spellbinding Tales Books
Alameda, CA
May 20 2006
9:00P
Kimo's
San Francisco, CA
May 21 2006
10:00P
ACME
Portland, OR
May 22 2006
10:00P
The Funhouse
Seattle, WA
Jun 10 2006
6:00P
Albuquerque Pride
Albuquerque, NM
Jun 11 2006
12:00P
LA Pride
West Hollywood
Jul 29 2006
1:00P
San Diego Pride
San Diego, CA
Jul 30 2006
1:00P
San Diego Pride
San Diego, CA

I was going to really over-react to the gigs and dates coming up, and the lack of free time but that would have been SO silly. Posting it here has been a nice reminder. I am excited about doing all these things, I don't want to sit around the same town all the time. I want to travel and I want to play music in front of strangers.
Silly me. I was feeling stressed. I am lucky. Anything could happen at anytime, I gotta keep things like this in perspective. For instance, say august first I lose all the fingers on my right hand, I would be a pissed off fellow, but I bet that in time I would have a HUGE amount of gratitude for each and every time I got to go somewhere and play my guitar for people.

Really Buckie. Silly boy.

How it feels to be!

My self Brandon is about to turn 27, cynics say any of us could go at any time. I say this is too fine a time to go, I think it merits waiting out. I can be very flittery, easily effected and downright moody, but I have come to learn over the ages that I am for certain an optimist. I have tried on the half full glass, as a teen and young man but it never looked right to me. I will say though I dislike that metaphor for the outlook argument. I for one look at a half full glass and want to fill it up, it in fact bugs me. I'll leave the table to refill a half full soda, because I know that if I don't do it now, it may be a bad time later, and then I'll just be kicking myself, not unlike when you pass up a chance to go to the rest room.

Chances abound. Lots of chances. I plan on taking a lot of these chances. I'm going to New York in one month.

Cool Water

Outer space was nice! Good to be back in cyberspace!
I've had a few things to talk about but I got out of the habit of doing it here. My energy level has been low, I'm working on that. I did some re-reading of this time last year and I was certainly on a bit of a self improvement kick, I'm still the same self so I think I'll pick that up again.
More band things in the wings, but again I'm going to stick with my superstition and not mention them by name, for to intone a deep desire yet unfulfilled in a blog is at the very blackest root of bad luck.

My folks were in town over the weekend. I love when they visit! They are so adult and caring, I'm pretty pleased as punch to have them in my life, accepting and supportive of this strange motion I and my mates are on. Blessed.

I'm gonna come back around here more. This week I will eat better. I will go on a run. I will write you all a poem. I am learning to play boogie bass lines on the piano.

I wanna eat the big apple.

Google Nuggets

Dear Wisconsin Stories:
I salute you for offering this forum for Wisconsinites to share their stories or those of their ancestors. I'm a 3rd-generation military veteran, and I'd like to share the story of my grandfather, Jasper Harwood, who served in the 3119th Signal Service Battalion in WWII. I recently completed a scrapbook commemorating his Army service.
My grandfather is a lifetime Wisconsinite who served in the Pacific Theater. I recently petitioned Senator Russ Feingold to send a letter of commendation to my grandfather, recognizing his distinguished service. I volunteered for Sen. Feingold's campaign, and I know him to be among the most down-to-earth politicians in office. Senator Feingold sent a personalized letter to my grandfather, Jasper Harwood, praising his wartime sacrifice in defense of our nation.
I would be happy to send you a copy of the letter and/or provide more information about my grandpa's service. He's currently 83 years old, and his memory is not what it once was, but this official letter revived his sense of pride in his service.
In case you're curious, my dad served aboard the aircraft carrier USS Constellation during the Vietnam era, and I enlisted at age 17 in the Wisconsin Army National Guard's Company B/118th Medical Battalion. I was Honorably Discharged in 2002.
Again, thank you for providing this forum for Wisconsinites to share their proud histories. I enjoy watching "Here and Now" every Sunday and I salute the work that you do.
Thank you,Carrie Wipplinger

Posted on ArmyStudyGuide.com
by interrogatress

You posted your 97Enquiry way back in July 04, but I just joined this website today (23 OCT 04) and had to give a shout to rep the 97Es.

was National Guard, enlisting as a 91B med specialist at age 17. In my junior year of college, the Army discovered that I knew some Russian, and a new MI linguist unit was forming in Chicago, so badabing-badaboom I went from 91B to 97E. I feel very lucky to have acquired 2 very distinct MOS's during my enlistment. My awesome MI unit supported my 4-month study abroad semester in St. Petersburg, Russia. When I came back to college and my unit in Chicago, I scored a 3+/3+ on the DLPT.

I never went to school at Defense Language Institute, but I went to the Presidio of Monterey for the Language Olympics in '98 (I heard that the name of that contest has changed because the Intl. Olympic Committee deemed it copywright infringement or some such nonsense. Get a life, IOC!)

Anyhow, I'm not sure what you want to know about life as an interrogator. Obviously we have fallen under some scrutiny in the past 6 months - rightly so - and NOW when you tell people you're a military interrogator, they cover their nads so you don't attach jumper-cables. It's a sorry state of affairs.

Interrogation is a very difficult calling, and it requires an abundance of intuition, integrity and empathy. Get inside your subject's head psychologically without busting it open physically. I have done a lot of research on military interrogation: its history, theory and practice. Below is a link to the official Army field manual for Interrogation. Feel free to Email me if you want more info or links. I got a gang of 'em. my addy is: goodapple@militaryinterrogator.com

Good luck, and may your career as an interrogator be valuable and virtuous. Don't ever compromise your moral code of values.

Best wishes, SPC Carrie Wipplinger
-----------------
Official US Army Field Manual for Intelligence Interrogation (FM 34-52): http://globalsecurity.org/intell/library/policy/army/fm/fm34-52/
Interrogators do it with the lights on


.Harwood, Kathleen MaryMilwaukee Journal Sentinel, The, Sep 4, 2003
Harwood, Kathleen Mary "Kate" Thursday, September 04, 2003 Harwood, Kathleen Mary "Kate" Of Mequon, passed away Mon., Sept. 1, 2003 in Milwaukee. She was born on Oct. 27, 1946 in Milwaukee and graduated from Bay View High School and then from the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee. She worked at the First Wisconsin National Bank until her retirement. Kate was a classy lady who enjoyed all of her ballroom dancing friends, hiking through parks around the country and traveling to different countries. She was an active member of St. Cecilia's Catholic Church and a volunteer for Horizon Hospice. Kate was fastidious and thorough in everything she did, was a wonderful daughter, mother and sister and was a joy to know. She is survived by 2 daughters, Carrie Wipplinger, Milwaukee and Anna Wipplinger, Chicago; her parents, Jasper and Lois Harwood, Prairie du Chien; 1 sister, Dawn (James B.) Wood of Madison, WI; 2 brothers, Daniel (Sara) Harwood of Milwaukee and Steven (Nancy) Harwood of Wauwatosa; nieces, nephews, other relatives and many good friends. She was preceded in death by ex-husband Eugene Wipplinger and his parents, Otto and Mary Wipplinger of Milwaukee. Mass of Christian Burial will be Thurs. at St. Cecilia's Catholic Church (116 N. Orchard St., Thiensville) at 11 AM. Please meet at church. Entombment to follow at Wisconsin Memorial Park, 13235 W. Capitol Dr., Brookfield. Visitation at the Funeral Home Wed., Sept. 3 from 4-7 PM. In lieu of flowers, the family requests donations to the Breast Cancer Foundation or Vitas Health Care, 2675 N. Mayfair Rd., Suite 480, Wauwatosa WI 53226. SCHRAMKA-DENSOW FUNERAL HOME 423 N. Main St. Thiensville (262)242-3120

YOUR OPINIONS
Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, The, Aug 24, 2005

ADULTERY
Those in uniform held to high standards
An Aug. 19 editorial brashly attacked the Army for its punishment of a four-star general who dated a civilian woman while he was separated, not yet divorced, from his wife. The editorial asked: Should adultery "be against the law? The Army says yes. The Army is wrong" ("A moldy relic in military law").
I served in the Army National Guard for six years, and I quickly learned that civilian law and military law are not identical. Those representing our country in uniform especially four-star generals are held to higher standards, and rightly so.
If nothing else, the general's affair was "conduct unbecoming." Add to that the fact that Gen. Kevin Byrnes topped the chain of command for new recruits.
Given the recent controversy surrounding shady recruiting tactics, the Army cannot afford to let this slide. It sends a message that high-ranking officers are above the law, and that's a terrible message to send to potential new recruits: Go fight in Iraq while this jerk of a general earns five times your salary, stays in the United States and cheats on his wife.
If anything, Byrnes' punishment being "relieved of command" was too lenient.
Carrie Wipplinger

Turtle

Yesterday Amy and I were in a bit of a grump. We awoke and decided on a little picnic at Greystone Mansion. Immediately after pulling into the parking lot we regretted not bringing any pot. We ate on a stone wall overlooking the grounds, talking a bit about wealth and the wealthy. After eating we decided to go home and get some grass and return to the park. Our mood improved greatly with the gentle herb high, wonderful weather and inspiring surroundings. We wandered over most of the property talking and sitting in different places when we needed rest.
There is a small fish pond near the Mansion, and we sat down and watched water turtles swim and sun. Amy had never seen them close up like before. It's sad that people don't see turtles. They have great personality and expression. They also seem to really appreciate the art of doing nothing. I sat there thinking that if I were inclined to believe in reincarnation that I would want to come back as a turtle in the pond by Greystone Mansion.
We sat a little longer and two young boys ran down to the pond. At once one began poking a stick in the water and calling out "come here turtle!". I could see no malice in the boy's eyes but I felt nervous for the turtles. I know what ignorance lurks in the minds and able bodies of young boys. No turtles headed his call, and he was soon beckoned by his mother.
Those Turtles did not come when you called little one, but you did not tarry a moment when your mother did.
Thanks

Identify The Self

I think my Great Grandfather on my mother's side is on the far right of this picture. I am not certain. Very little is known about my mother's father's family. Of that which is Known I myself know less. I like this photo a great deal.

This week has been a good productive domestic week. Amy and I have let certain house chores slide for months. The front portion of our apartment has been cleaned and orderly, but the back bedroom has become a cave. The excavations revealed just how deep the filth was. It finally became too much and forced us into action. After working in our separate offices for 8 hours on Tuesday and Thursday we both cam home and dug deep into un-defiling the living quarters. It's been hell. As we've achieved more we have come to see that there is an end to the mess, and a new beginning behind it.

My genuine hope is that at the end of cleaning will be the beginning of creation of a new room, where a person can be allowed to have thoughts that didn't exist in the cramped messy room of yore. Nothing short of a new identity.

that's me on the right, wearing a mask. Because I'm thinking about perception and identity and the self. The photo was taken at MOCA, by good friend Tiger, in the bathroom of the ecstasy exhibit.

Let Her

Carrie,
Oh me! What percentage of personal written correspondence must begin with an apology for a lapse in communication? I imagine the stats are awesome. I've always wished someone was keeping statistics on all things done in a life, and that when you die you get to see them. Can you imagine. How many snickers bars have I eaten? How many times have I said fuck? Really though, I apologize for not writing at all for like a month. I don't have an excuse, just a new letter on the back of your blogged up interview. Fantastic interview by the way, I'm glad to have been a part of it.
How are things? I hope well. I imagine that by now you have maybe an idea of when you'll be breathing the fresh air of the outside world? Yes? I hope.
I must admit with some shame that I've been rather bad about typing up your blog responses. I think both of us became a bit overwhelmed by my initial zest and the confusion ran rampant. I have it all, and I have intention of taking great care to deal with the posting in the future.
Things have been moving along band wise. There are some neat things that are not 100% confirmed that I hope to be able to share with you soon, however as of this writing my fear of the jinx is far to present.
Today's letter will be short, but I felt I needed to do it. I have several people from all walks of my life that I have been neglecting and I finally decided that I would go ahead and make a call even if I only had 3 minutes, or write a letter when I have five, because if I let the ball sit there until I have a huge chunk of time, it will never get rolling again.
Much Love,
Step to this,
Buck,
Brandon

Super days to come. I like fingers. My face is tired. Water. Rubber bands. Foam. Petroleum. Do you speak the German Baby? slide.

Carrie's Interview for Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Good Behavior

1. Do you have a bitch/are you someone's bitch?
I have 2 women of intimidating stature who seem to have only my best welfare at heart. They have warned me of certain bullies & said "if any of them steps to you, blood is gonna fly." An exaggeration, but I feel like their bitch.

2. What is the best thing they serve in the cafeteria?
Fried chicken with BBQ Sauce, rice as a side & corn. Plus jello for dessert.

3. What is the most popular television program in Dorm E6?
"American Idol" gets the most viewers, but the most viewed daily is "Girlfriends". Other favorites are "Maury" and "The Jamie Foxx Show".

4. What is your favorite program?
"Passions"! But we never get to watch it. Stupid "Maury" is cross scheduled. The faithful blog readers should be familiar with my passion for the soap. In it's absence I watch "The Simpsons".

5. Have you made any friends on the inside that you would like to remain friends with outside?
One. A prostitute named Kim. She was always super nice to me & Protected me, but not like I was her bitch. Otherwise, people look at me as a little lamb (a stupid lamb) who lost her way and contributed no "Scene Points" to their list of friends.

6. What do you feel is the goal of our current penal system?
Just to shelve them away and not think about them. Invest in private companies the build prisons on government contracts. We don't have enough room.

7. What is the most annoying thing a prison guard can do to an inmate?
Simply talk down to us, act superior. (Hello, I'm out of here in a matter of months - This jail is your LIFE!) I Especially hate when they flaunt their food, too. Like pizza.

8. Do you bet on prison fights?
No! You silly. At least in the women's dorms, the fights are over & done in like 5 seconds. We do more post-fight commentary (i.e. gossip), guessing how many days in the hole they'll get.

9. In what way has your experience differed from Tim Robbins' Character in "the Shawshank Redemption"?
He had it physically worse & suffered from the guards more. Here, there's a lot of red tape & supervision to avoid abuse. Also, he had more friends & he escaped.

10. What food do miss most?
PIZZA! Pizza pizza pizza pizza! With non alcoholic beer. :)

11. Do you get to play basketball or other sports?
We have the opportunity to play basketball, but let's just say that my skills are not up-to-par with the other inmates.

12. Have you been working out?
Thanks for that Oh-So-LA compliment, but no. I'm not gaining weight, but not losing it which is what I wanted.

13. What's the worst time of day in prison?
When they turn on the lights. Out of fun dream land. Flash of realization that YES I'm in jail.

14. Does your family come to visit?
My Aunt, my friend's mom & my old roommate Amy F. My friends either live too far away, or they're giving me the silent treatment.

15. How many people do you get letters from?
About 7

16. How able are you to follow current events in the pen?
We get Sunday newspapers; Occasionally we watch the news (especially if there's a gang shooting & they might now someone)

17. What do people on the inside call prison?
"On Lock" or "On Lockdown"
House of Correction = Hoes Out of Control

18. Is prison clicky? Like high School?
Very much. People are very quick to "prove loyalty" by jumping to defend a "friend", but it's very transparent. There's a lot of cursing and "stepping up" to a fight.

19. If you could have any job when you get out what job would it be?
Real estate investor, then stay-at-home mom! Screw Offices (I Hear that)
*side note from buck: I was surprised to not see Shitting Glitter Drummer here. I hear from Devin that you found the response of the Glitters to be lacking whenever this subject was brought up. I assure you that no member meant to be discouraging. We would love nothing more than to have you step up and fill this roll. I will say that it's not an easy thing to learn an instrument and learn all about how to play that instrument in a group dynamic. It's certainly not impossible, but it really takes love, and the drive needs to come from the person because they love it and are obsessed with playing their instrument, and then further obsessed with playing in a band full of obsessed people. My apology if the wrong idea came across.

20. What's the general attitude there towards the war on terror?
war on whuh?

21. What does your prison issue uniform look like?
Navy Blue pants, no pockets, elastic

22. Do they open all your mail? Do they read it?
Yes, but they just kind of shake the papers to make sure nothing falls out. (Oo, I feel so much safer that way)

23. Who really runs the place?
The County of Milwaukee...For now.

24. What kind of neighborhood is the prison in?
Farmland

25. While growing up did you ever think you would do time?
Yes, in middle school I put it on my list of "Things to do before I die" , along with "get in a fist fight" and "skydive". I was such a dumb fuck in middle school.



Final note from Carrie - Thank you for reading Brandon's very inciteful Carrie interview. I like this format. I'd welcome any other questions from anyone. (Devin, Amy, Hoagie...Mysterious Lurker? Come Inside, it's warm in here.)

Total Compelling Facts A Person Can Wish For Forward ...

The strange title comes from google. I was googling my own band name, as you do, and I came across that. It's to good. Kind of like how bizarre this camera phone picture to the right is. The picture was taken through a hardware store window while my older brother and I walked around Santa Monica Blvd in dresses handing out flyers to promote our upcoming show at the Cat Club. That was an odd night.
Things have been generally getting better these days, at least on the news front. After our cancellation on Q Tv as referred to rather cryptically in the post below. Many little stuffs are in the works, of course I use restraint because I'm superstitious. I can say that I'm looking forward to a tour in May, and possible some world travel.

We rehearse tonight at Satellite, still our favorite place to make noise. I'm very excited. Our gig Saturday will be on the short side, and all of the songs will be to the point. We are actually just now beginning to re-tool our live sound. Our Prime directives are to fatten things up and give more control over the live mix. The separation of bass lines from the drums and keyboards is a top priority, has been for me for some time. With that accomplished I think our sound will be far more flexible and powerful live. I have also decided to take a plunge and start playing with some guitar effects live, however this will be a very slow transformation as I am financially an infant. In the long run there is hope of replacing our current live sequencer with something far more flexible and controllable and really, just more useful... Maybe something laptopish.

What I should have been doing tomorrow

Was playing guitar on Television, in front of Sandra Fucking Bernhard...

The reasons why I won't
SAN FRANCISCO Financial straits for gay TV network Q stops filming new shows, lays off some employees
Wyatt Buchanan, Chronicle Staff Writer
Saturday, February 11, 2006

The Q Television Network, one of the three cable channels for gays and lesbians and the one that owns the broadcast rights for the Gay Games this summer, is struggling financially and has stopped running new programs -- until at least Monday.
The Southern California network -- which is available to 3 million cable subscribers in several cities, including San Francisco -- has not paid some of its workers, has laid off others and is being sued by a San Francisco lesbian magazine for not paying its advertising bills over a six-month period.
The Q Television Network launched in markets across the country in 2004, and was followed by MTV-backed Logo last summer. The first gay network, here, began broadcasting in 2002.
The chief administrators and board of directors of Q Television Network informed the staff Monday in an e-mail obtained by The Chronicle that an investor and his family with a large amount of money in the network "are no longer in a position to continue their financial commitment to Q Television."
"We know you are concerned about payroll," the e-mail began. It later stated that Q Television Network was "working with (backup investors) today to push this through as quickly as possible so that payroll can be completed." The e-mail was signed by the head of the company, Frank Olsen, along with Rene Schenk and Marion Sherman -- top officers -- and the "board of directors of
QTN."
The network confirmed to the Web site Out.com that all contract workers had been laid off.
The network also has stopped filming new shows and instead is broadcasting recorded programs. Company officials declined to speak about the network's situation, but a company spokesman said the network expects to resume programming on Monday.
In early January, Girlfriends Magazine in San Francisco filed a lawsuit in San Francisco Superior Court claiming breach of contract. The network ran a series of full-page advertisements over six months in the monthly magazine but has yet to pay for any of them, said Jennifer Hagan, the magazine's attorney.
Editor Heather Findlay said the ads cost in the tens of thousands of dollars, although she would not say exactly how much.
The network is a major sponsor of the Gay Games and bought the broadcasting rights to air them for $1.7 million. So far, it has paid about 75 percent of that, said Kevin Boyer, co-vice chairman of the games that will be held in Chicago in July.
"They have told us that (the suspension of new programming) is a normal, planned production hiatus to plan for the Gay Games," Boyer said. The network has planned to broadcast several hours of the games each day, some of it live, he said. That has never been done before.
"They have been a good partner with us, and we will believe them till we have reason to believe otherwise," he said.
Meanwhile, stock in Q Television is trading at one-100th of a cent.
E-mail Wyatt Buchanan at wbuchanan@sfchronicle.com.

Financial problems plague Q Television
Employees at Q Television Network, one of three cable channels aimed at gay and lesbian viewers, claim that they are not being paid as the company faces increasing financial difficulties. Two employees, speaking on condition of anonymity, revealed that an internal memo indicated that one of Q's investors had dropped out, leaving the company to scramble for funds. It was reported Friday on Out.com that the network was going "on hiatus" until February 13, but at that time Q's executive vice president of network operations, Carol Hinnant, reported that full-time employees would continue to be paid.
When contacted by Advocate.com on Monday, Hinnant refused to comment on the late paychecks but said, "Every network has growing pains. We'll be back on the 13th, and we hope [our employees] will be back." Hinnant disputed claims by one of the Q employees that most of the network staff had gone home Monday after being informed that the paychecks they were due to receive on February 1, and then on February 3, would still not be available. (Advocate.com)

Mal Adjusting

My eagerness towards blogging in January fizzled a bit and died of with no pop. It left me in need of mindful realignment. My communications with Carrie have for the most part been answered, by her, and with her usual strange talent for the written language. I got from her responses though that my usual free form blogging technique may have been a bit to cloudy for actual person to person communication. All of this has had me thinking that maybe I should try and put a little more effort into writing for other people rather than my own personal public recollection. I actually haven't really came to any full on conclusions about any of that though.

There is also this added element of pictures to contend with. I held off from using the feature for many months after it's introduction, and now since I have opened this can of pixel worms I have used it on every occasion. I mention it all because I'm going through this state of the blogger blog, and I hope to be back on track this week.

I owe Carrie a letter. And I owe the readers at large some of here choice response.

Bound at last... Free Alongside Ship

Today marks the official release of Free Alongside Ship. For me it's a major milestone. A real CD. I don't have a great deal of time at the moment, but I did want to make a little note of celebration.
Tonight we will celebrate the release at the Palms in West Hollywood, a strange lesbian bar that used to be a Jim Morrison haunt. That feels like fine company to me. Dykes and Mr. Mojo Risin'.
1. Mondo di Corpo
2. The Curse
3. Ladyslipper
4. Slut Buffet
5. Guaranteed Used
6. Dichotomy
7. Guerilla
8. Incomparable White Six
9. High and Tight
10. R So
11. Grady
12. Static Cling
13. The Amnesty Party

The Apple Falls

This week we have been recording a bit again. I'm pretty pleased with the effort thus far. The song is the title of this post. It's a little more done-up-dancy than most of our stuff preceding it. The guitars for me are an improvement. I seem to be playing more aware lately, maybe I'm just paying attention to everyone around me more and then playing accordingly. I'll just note this all and move on. I hope to have a rough mix finished tonight.

Inbox Mining

I've been doing some archiving around here as of late, and It will probably continue. I tend to get my mind excited when I can place an event that I remember with an actual date. I'll try and not go too far over board, today for instance I had to curb the desire to pile up a great deal of forgotten items. The most amusing being the first bad review Shitting Glitter ever received. The review isn't so much a bad review of our band as it is a bad review of being gay, and really, the whole thing was just bad.
Anyway, I came across this, it's from an email from Amy to me, and it contains some poems which she had jotted down in a bar, I read them and liked them, and decided I had the authority to post them for my eternal pleasure.
And to re-state the purpose of this entire mess of words and now pictures, this blogs first priority is for my eternal pleasure.
It should also be noted that I have now blogged more this month than any other month previous. Most of this has to do w/ my communication with one Carrie Wipplinger, whose relationship to me and significance in my universe I still have not properly described. I will make this concession soon in order to help the reading of this large mess along a bit.
I have a feeling there will be more from me today.

From:
Amy
Date:
Fri, 12 Mar 2004 14:50:02 EST
Subject:
some pomes from here
To:
buckglitter@yahoo.com

TO BE paul FRANK

well placed labels rest on their laurels
hoping it's enough
it cost enough.
it's someone else's stupid overused reproduced face
print overplaced.
lucky for you low stakes abound
recognition might buy you a stupid cute fuck.


APPLICATION

it might be the hour of necessary examination
i'm buried in my own self stare
through liquid stain
permanent and thorough, the makeshift demands
i haphazardly place on my credit card
add up
stacking
blaming
point blank
reaming
balance beaming
not necessarily smiling
just pleased.
but who wouldn't be
under this much drink.


robbie mcrobberson

i manage to see him home
sidewalk state
he mills about conscious what not
he wander in and out of his treadmark jacket
too clean for a black trench
apply two coats
his game... less than midwest
more midway.
guy with a dental plan


STORY

little words
gumdrops
sinking sweet
stuck to the side of my teeth
making history
writing made up sentiment
around my well meaning tongue
hop skip and a dump
into some chick's underwear
made up bed
wrapped in 300 count reasons


Blank beautiful joe
stroll cute.
under obsessive sun, singular misuse of a gun
he bounced bullets around like toy day
a whole fucked 24 hours
devoted to boyish charm.
free for all
in a meadow in a field
smiles and targets
the kind that move that run
just like the boy
running hard and far
chased by his unequalled
precious
ravenous
innocence.

Photo by the Incomparable Marc Loren

For a Record: 2

Here is an email Exchange between Devin and I. At the time we were recording the Incomparable White Six Single. The email makes reference to recording Demos for Free Alongside Ship. I'm really being shelf indulgent.

From: Brandon
To: Devin@shittingglitter.com

Sent: Wednesday, June 16, 2004 10:08 AM
Subject: Re: hello
I felt a little off in rehearsal last night, until the very end. It was hard getting my amp to sound good after playing through the marshal in the other room. I guess it's good to get to rehearse w/ my own amp. if we rehearse at all next week i guess we should just do a two hour in sound arena.
That one song we were jaming on sounded awesome! were you able to hear what i was playing? did you like it?
I lost the email wehre you sent me the track list you had in mind for F.A.S. could you send the list again? I have an idea on how to demo the songs. I think we should just go up to amp or maybe sattelite on a saturday when we have all the songs programmed. We'll need to make sure it is in a place that has a board with sends on all the channels. I'll take the fx send out from each of the vocal mics, the keyboard and the drum machine, maybe i will also use the headphone jack from the korg. then i'll just mic my amp and put up the condenser to get a room sound. i guess it would also be good to run some stuff through the bass amp and mic it as well. then we can just do the whole album in one afternoon, provided that we've rehearsed it plenty. badda badda bing then the deom stage is done, and we move on to the preproduction on the big sheets where we look at what we can add and if anything isn't working. amy & you could also over dub vocals if you feel inclined, but the demo's would mainly be for us and whoever we wish to have produce it.

From: Subject:Re: helloDate:Wed, 16 Jun 2004 12:05:30 -0700I thought you sounded fine last night.The plan sounds great for recording. I'm excited to do it. I need to get my flute fixed though!I liked the new song. I liked what you were playing.

Carrie Responds... And Goes Fishing

The following letter I recieved from Carrie, dated 1/11/06. The Picture on the right is of the postcard, referred to later.

Dear Brandon, (& Believable Needs Community)

I must say I'm honored to be occupying real estate on your delightfully enigmatic blog. I'm having a hard time following the flow of blog-juice i.e. where do my old letters go (Shelf Indulgence, I think), where do my new letters go (here, I think)... Know what? Since you have a better perspective of the map as it stands, I'll just let you do whatever floats your boat Yo!
As I see it from here the only thing missing is a section for Private Carrie-to Brandon and vice/versa communications. Like , "Can you believe that your blog readers haven't picked up on the subtle hints you've dropped indicating your 2008 Presidential Bid? Maybe be a bit more obvious... Time to start building the war chest."
And then there's Myspace, which is another animal all together, I DEFINITELY flame up into full on attention whore there. Part of my reason for that is to get my mailing address out there. Perhaps you can spread the word that I WANT MAIL! FROM ANYONE! Send a letter, a blog, a limerick... and I promise to write back. And - Back me up on this, Buckie there is nothing more thrilling than getting an old fashioned hand-addressed snail mail envelope. Well maybe having a crazy 3-way with Reece Witherspoon and Katie Holmes - but the letter thing ain't far behind. You don't believe me, readers? Well there's only one way to prove me wrong, and that's to WRITE ME!

Carrie Downtown
House of Correction
Dorm E6, Bed 18
8885 S. 68th St.
Franklin, WI 53132

Do your part to piss off the evil monolith of authority represented by the guards who handle out mail. They HATE it when inmates get a lot of mail. Yesterday I got 7 letters - most of them belated birthday cards - and the guard made me go to the end of the line. TRIUMPH! So WRITE ME!


Speaking of the great 2006 mail drive, I'm trying a little fishing expedition with our friends in the church of Scientology. Brandon, thanks for giving me the idea with the post cards declaring, with the temper tantrum petulance of a toddler hogging a toy: "This is OUR Scientology."


Did those jack-offs think they could get away with using a beautiful picture of DOWNTOWN to plug their doofus religion? Well they're about to get fished in.
Here is the letter I sent this week:

To Whom It May Concern,
I Don't really know how to begin this letter... I am a Prisoner in two ways: 1. Behind Bars 2. In my own mind. I feel like I have become someone I don't know, and I'm desperate to find some direction from people who can help me achieve my goals.
I have goals to improve myself, and I work on them as best I can, because I will be free (at least in body) in 6 months. A friend of mine in Los Angeles practices Scientology {Brandon that's you!} He just started and he says it has already taught him a lot about himself and hot to grow and improve. My friend tried to send me some literature about Scientology and L. Ron Hubbard, but they were censored by jail staff and thrown away! We are not allowed to receive "propaganda" as they call it.
I think this is a violation of my religious freedom. The only religious thought that is tolerated here is Christianity, plus groups like alcoholics anonymous. I'm not sure if Scientology is a religion, a way of life, a system or something else. My friend couldn't really describe it either, because he is new to your group. He recommended that I read some book called Dianetics. There is no way for me to receive this book here, under their "propaganda" rules.
The only way I can get the information I need is through a personal letter. They don't read the text of letters if they have signed names at the bottom.

I am wondering if there is someone who could send me more information about Scientology in the form of a personal letter. I am not an evil person, I am just a girl who went astray after my parents abandoned me to do missionary work in South America. They left me all their money, but it is not the same. I need direction and a way to get my life back on track.

PLEASE consider my request. I anxiously await more information about Scientology... I believe it may be perfect for me.

Sincerely,
Carrie Wipplinger

PS. In case you are curious, my crime was drug possession, my friend says that Scientology might be able to help with my substance abuse, as well.


***
I'll keep you posted of any reply. Who'd like to place a bet/vote: will they write me personal letter or not? If they do I have a whole twisting soap opera-esque set of pen pal plans for my Hubbard-hugging victim. (Confidential to Katie Holmes: You can still come back to reality, no questions asked.)

Brandon and the rest of Shitting Glitter: Congrats on your new cd! I sure wish I could hear it, but... perhaps your not picturing my confinement correctly. It's a big room with 25 bunk beds (capacity of 50), aluminum tables, benches and a TV, and phones. Oh yeah, and a big bathroom along one side.
Other things we have access to are basketball one a day for 45 minutes, 10 minutes to browse the library (once every two weeks) and finally if we have the $30 to buy one, a tiny radio only Walkman. Sorry to sound so Snarky... but don't bother sending me anything, as i will be frustratedly unable to hear it. don't fret: my sister tried to mail me a Johnny Cash CD for my birthday. Return to sender.
I think people get the wrong idea about Jail vs. Prison. I kind of use the two intermittently, but the truth is that I am in jail. Jail is for stays up to 1 year. Prisoners who get 1 year or more have special rights, more access to resources, etc. I've heard it's actually quite cushy, but that depends on your security level. If I were minimum-security Martha, I'd probably be typing this in the computer lab right now.
Finally, your Chain Poem Idea is a great one. Let's close with it shall we? We shall.

Tiny Smiles and Cute Refrains
Scamper down my lips and land

Love,
Downtown

My 200th Post

The following is a letter I wrote to Carrie about a year ago, I found it rather timely and informative. Maybe Carrie will as well, so of course I'll mail it to her. I have some responses from her(in present day) that I would like to post when I get a moment, today will not be that day though. I have been sliding in my professional life so I have decided today I will be a good person and fix that.
I've actually been in a funk this week. Serious financial problems and health issues have had me feeling less than my chipper self. I will prevail. I can see a great big light at the end of a tunnel, and unlike Whitney Houston, I know it's not a train... I'm coming around. Hope you all too, especially you Carrie.

Here is another thing. Carrie LOVES to get mail. Apparently nothing annoys a prison guard more than an inmate who gets lots of letters. Anyone, and I mean anyone, who happens to be inclined should send Carrie a letter. Introduce yourself or just impress your friends with your street smarts. She will write back to everyone who sends her mail. She rocks and you will learn something.




To: Carrie
From: Buckie

Date:
Fri, 9 Jan 2004

My Darling Whip,
First off let me apologize for the vulgarity of typing a personal letter, please don’t view it as a symbol of my rudeness but merely a symptom of oppression forced upon me by my job. Imagine my employers actually believe they should not pay me to write letters to one of my dearest friends, so I must type, pretending that I‘m pounding out invoices or some other company gibberish, instead of writing to one of my dearest friends. I can not work under these conditions.
So hello dear. I hope you received our little card, I was a little concerned that the staff of your humble helpers hopeful home might take it for homosexual propaganda and have it destroyed. Did they dispose of our greeting of love? If they did I must tell you it was written in the very park where George Michael was arrested for looking for love in all the wrong restrooms, on a bright sun shining Sunday morning. Amy and I had of course awoken very early, sometime the morning before in fact, the early bird getting the “worm” per se. We decided to sit in the park and spread love to those we missed most, and you topped the list, yes DT you are always a top in our hearts…
To completely switch subject matter upon let me tell of a wonderful new hobby we have picked up. It is directly inspired by a very informative website called “findadeathdotcom” very interesting place, it’s filled with information about the deaths of celebrities, listing the addresses and pictures of the places they died. Not coming as a big surprise many of them died in Los Angeles, we look up the interesting ones, have a look at the Thomas guide and go have a look at them. It’s rather morbid I admit, but fascinating none the less. My favorite sight is the former home of Sharon Tate, It sits back in the hills above Benedict Canyon, we for some reason have been going there a lot.
We went hiking last weekend, that was something altogether new. Have you ever been to runyon canyon? It’s very cool, there are dogs everywhere so Amy was of course a big freak there. I don’t know if I can squeeze an entire paragraph out of Runyon Canyon, but I did like it so I found it worth mentioning. My main contention I guess was that hopefully when you get back here we can go hiking, your little bumble bee buzz of energy would be fun to see bounding over rocks, sticks and dogs. I wonder if you are running again?
One night while eating Koo Koo Roo in the park something strange and fantastic occurred, and to think back on it, it did directly involve Runyon Canyon, so it was doubly important to this missive that I brought that topic up in the preceding paragraph. Sitting there, enjoying a Chicken Caesar Sandwich, Macaroni and Cheese, and delightful Italian vegetables*, we were approached by a gorgeous golden retriever. Pet this wonderful dog we did, and this wonderful dog did eat some of my chicken that had fallen out of my mouth and onto the ground. The “owner“, though I prefer the term “human companion”, of this particular dog stood at a distance and spoke softly into a cell phone, approaching us only after the cell phone battery died. We took up a conversation with the polite man, who informed us that his name was Trev, and his dog friend was Riggs. As we conversed we found out the gentleman lived near by in the neighborhood, but when he attempted to recall the name of his street he had great difficulty, he said to us:
“Sorry, I recently had a head injury and now sometimes it’s hard to remember names of things. I was the guy who got bashed.”
Turns out our new found friend is Trev Broudy, the man that was gay bashed a little over a year ago in West Hollywood. Do you remember the sensation it all caused? The fact that this man was struck over the head with a baseball bat while standing with his male lover, left to fall to the ground, no attempt ever made to take a wallet watch or coin, and the police and state prosecutor decide this is a robbery gone bad, not a hate crime. We had a great talk with Trev he is a very nice man , it came up that he can’t drive now, his paripheal vision is missing, along with a small portion of his brain. Apparently Riggs loves Runyon Canyon, but the two of them cannot get there without someone to drive, we of course volunteered to fill the roll of drive. To date we have not yet managed to get together on this little hiking trip, but I believe it will happen soon., But we did decide to go with out him last weekend, so that’s why I wrote to you about that. I guess it seemed more interesting before I wrote it all down.
My Sister, Mother and Father all flew in to spend the Christmas holiday with Devin and I. It was a delight, they stayed in the gay Ramada Inn, across from the Palms. I hoped against hope that my Father would wonder out for a late night drink and head directly into the den of lesbian depravity, but it never happened. They arrived on Christmas Eve, and that night we all went to Devin’s Boss’ house in Silver Lake for a party. The evening culminated in the entire party crammed into the living room around the piano, as the keyboard player from Super Tramp, and a man who writes songs for Ozzy Osbourne led our merry goup of revelers in traditional Christmas Tunes. Miss Bah Humbug herself, Amy Crosby even sang aloud. We spent Christmas morning in the home of Devin and Dylan Tucker-Strecker, Much fun was had by all. We took them to eat at Barney’s Beanery that night, we felt bad about their old policy against homosexual patrons, but my dear father loves Peter Faulks portrayal of Columbo so much that he had to have a bowl of their chili, and a glass of milk. The next day we went shopping, and capped the evening with a trip to utter fab El Ceyote! Little trivia for you, El Ceyote was the establishment blessed with the dubious distinction of serving last meals to the entire party of Sharon Tate and company, just a few hours prior to the Manson family hacking them to bits. The next day we took them to Pinks for lunch, we told them how Bruce Willis proposed to Demi Moore while in line to order there. My Mother got a little teary thinking of how Bruce and Demi split, and Demi’s audacity to take up with that young ripe piece of boy meat Ashton Kutcher. We held our CD release party that night, so that our parents could finally see their boys make good. The party was held at universal bar and grill in universal city. We had a decent attendance and played up to standard. Has devin sent you the new cd “Sexy Clown Circus” yet? The family flew out early the next morning leaving Devin and I behind, to fend for ourselves and each other in the wilderness that is Los Angeles.
Remember that time at the Garage when you and I “met” those Double Mint Twins?
Funny thing, we keep running into Geno. One day we met him coming out of Turners and he was exceptionally pleased to see us, he said it was odd to run into us because he had been thinking about miss Whipplinger a great deal recently, and discussing you with a friend. He sends his love and would like to gaze upon your face again.
Amy ran into a ghost two weeks ago, one ex-roomate of yours Robert. Fresh out of jail and high on chrystal no less. Apparently he was busted on the charge of home invasion for breaking into someone’s home and threatening them with a gun. Something else about a stripper but Amy wasn’t certain what he meant. He did relate, not without a certain fondness, that he thought you were rather crazy, and of course the pot called the kettle black…
The Cats Henry and Arthur say hello, and they want food also.
How were your holidays? Did you do anything on New Years Eve? We actually didn’t do anything to ring in the new year, we just hung out at Devin’s and yelled from the roof top at the stroke of midnight.
I saw your letter detailing your adventure with Jen, sounds like your still practicing the theory of “yes”. Are you Meeting other people? If you get a chance to respond to this I’d like to hear some details of your daily life, I.e.: are you allowed to come and go as you please during the day? Do you work? Are you writing? Just anything Carrie will do.
I’m fairly happy these days. My job is good. I’m excited about the things going on with the band. We are collectively a little calmer then we have been.
Things are a little different friend wise, so many people that we were around last year aren’t around this year, some of them like you I miss constantly, and others I’m glad don’t come around anymore. You are still such a presence in our remaining group of mutual friends, you’d be astounded at the number of times your name comes up in daily occurrence. There are just so many memorable things that happened around you, that I believe you create for yourself and those around you, and it’s a good thing. There is a certain ripple that flows from you as you move through the water of life, and the people around you have no choice but to feel each wave as they pass outward and onward, it is a little sad though for people like me who are almost to far away to feel them, but if I know anything about you it’s that you’ll find away to get your ass back to L.A.
You were correct in feeling like Los Angeles is your home,
I love you and miss you,
*I’m not certain to the extent which you have been following the menu changes at Koo Koo Roo, but as of late some great menu items have disappeared, the wonderful and sumptuous item Italian vegetables, had been one of them. In a show of the true and just democratic system at work, the people demanded Italian vegetables back, and they received them.

For A Record : Part One

From: Devin@shittingglitter.com
To: brandon@shittingglitter.com
Subject: out of curiosity...
Date: Tue, 25 Nov 2003
which song would you want to be the lead single from "Free Alongside Ship" if it would have a professional video made for it? Don't get too excited yet, I just have an idea and I wanted to see what song you think would be best suited as the lead single... I would lean towards "Backyard Wildlife," or "RSO" even though they aren't done yet... but I like "Slut Buffet" if it ever ends up really rocking... but I don't know if it should be one from the EP or not. What do you think?


In mining my email boxes I came across the above email, from Devin to Me. It appears to be the first mention I have on record of the Free Alongside Ship title, but it's obvious from the email that It had been discussed and settled on before this. I know for certain the title can't be much older than this email, I presume it came to us sometime in Late October of 2003, Possibly though as early as September.

We actually came across the title during a random romp through the dictionary, one very late night. It was the same night Amy came up with the basic melody/lyrical idea for The Incomparable White Six.
The above email from Devin actual comes before the completion of Sexy Clown Circus. I guess we were planning ahead for this album a bit.

The song Backyard Wildlife mentioned above has still not been completed, It's seen many different revisions to the music, and an attempt or two on the lyrics. RSO would have been very new at the time of this email also, perhaps a week or two old.

No Rest for The Postman: Letter to Carrie

Hi Carrie,
Today has been one long collection of minutes. I have not been able to break away from the tedium long enough to get a letter together. It just feels bad to break up such a good streak though, so I'm going to try and milk this stone for a bit more blood today! Yay! See, exclamation even.
I've got something up my sleeve to write to you/these kind readers about, but today I don't have the time to tackle it.
***********
Idea Flash!!!
***********
Yes!! This is good!
Here it is folks, in daring journalism fashion, the Carrie Interview. And you get the questions before Carrie does! Folks at home, you can see if your answers mach hers when she returns them, I will repost this interview with her answers. Are you ready Carrie? That is not your first question.

1. Do you have a bitch/are you someone's bitch?




2. What is the best thing they serve in the cafeteria?




3. What is the most popular television program in Dorm E6?




4. What is your favorite program?




5. Have you made any friends on the inside that you would like to remain friends with outside?




6. What do you feel is the goal of our current penal system?




7. What is the most annoying thing a prison guard can do to an inmate?




8. Do you bet on prison fights?




9. In what way has your experience differed from Tim Robbins' Character in "the Shawshank Redemption"?




10. What food do miss most?




11. Do you get to play basketball or other sports?




12. Have you been working out?




13. What's the worst time of day in prison?





14. Does your family come to visit?





15. How many people do you get letters from?





16. How able are you to follow current events in the pen?





17. What do people on the inside call prison?




18. Is prison clicky? Like high School?




19. If you could have any job when you get out what job would it be?





20. What's the general attitude there towards the war on terror?





21. What does your prison issue uniform look like?





22. Do they open all your mail? Do they read it?




23. Who really runs the place?





24. What kind of neighborhood is the prison in?






25. While growing up did you ever think you would do time?

Ain't Better Named: Letter to Carrie

Carrie,
Well, no great ideas came rolling in over the weekend so I'll be using unique titles for each post. Oh Boy! How are you? I'm going to imagine that your real good, that maybe you just got done directing some hot lezzie prison porn. Your probably a little bit tuckered out. Tough work making lezzie prison porn. What would you name your movie? I'd call it "locked up Sally ends up loose" You can use that one if you want, but I bet yours is going to be much better. It would be nice to figure out exactly how long it takes for letters to get to you. That way I could address each letter to the specific day you would be receiving it. So for instance today's letter may reach you on Friday. Rather than having you get a letter on Friday with a bunch of references to last weekend, I could instead just write the letter like it's Friday here too. Then again, that might not be any fun for you on account of your days possibly being all too much alike anyway. Do you have different things that happen on different days of the week? Like laundry on Thursday, Lunch Room Death Match Wednesday, Tunnel Digging every other day from 1 am to 5 am.

I'm tired today, and it's Martin Luther King Jr. Day, therefore I can't mail this out anyway. I'm going to futz around and see If that poem I owe comes to me or not. If not I'm going to take the easy way out and send you various articles of interest from the internet.


Sticky Powder (an explanatory exploration)


puff of ugly drips upward
over all other smells thick and sticky
not yellow enough to be yellow
not white enough to be white

cold stomach in frozen reaction
nose moving to the opposite side of the face

dipping in cup
fingers touch and squirm
clouds form in over pour
far more fragrant than heavy



I'm not really convinced that the poem help to explain the foul smell which I could not describe earlier, if nothing else it reinforces the idea that the smell is awful beyond description. I guess I ended up defining it's physical characteristics rather than the scent. Sorry. I'll do better next time.

Metaphorical Files Baked In Cakes of Letters: Edition 7

Cumbersome Title

Carrie,

I'm so over this title of these posts. I'm going to be back next week with a brand new title for it. I don't have anything witty today but I know I can do better.

I promise not to describe any inanimate objects in absurd detail today. I don't know what I was thinking sending that to you. I hope that no one in the pen happened to steal a glance at it. I imagine a person could get her tiny ass kicked for having letters like that. I can only imagine your horror. 4-Her's honor, I will be much let ridiculous today.

You strike me as someone who might once have been in 4-H. Am I correct in this assumption? Strange to think that I've spent countless hours talking with you and I don't think the subject ever came up. Let me go google you some basic info, including what the hell all the Hs stand for. BRB

From random Google Searching:
4-H is a community of young people across America who are learning leadership, citizenship, and life skills.

What is 4-H?............................................
There are over 7 million 4-Hers in the United States alone, making 4-H the largest out-of-school youth program. Everyone, ages eight through eighteen, can participate in the 4-H program. (Ages vary among states)
4-H is a part of the Cooperative Extension System, a non-profit program operated through each state's land grant university. The Extension System's staff operate 4-H offices throughout the counties of each state.
In 4-H, youth learn life skills they will benefit from forever. Most 4-H programs center around three areas, leadership, citizenship, and life skills.

The Pledge
I pledge my head to clearer thinking

my heart to greater loyalty

my hands to larger service

my health to better living

for my club, my community, my country, and my world.

The Motto
"To make the best, better"

Back to Me:

Fun Huh? How goody two shoes? So if you have not guessed Devin and I were Active members in the Paradise Dell 4H Club. We had meetings and stuff. I think there was even a singing contest one year.

The main reason for being in the Paradise Dell 4H club, was to participate to the fullest extent in the Russell County Fair. Let me go google the Russell County Fair, See what I can pull you. BRB

Shocking. I really expected some silly home page for the Russell County Fair, some cheesy little site with flashing text and a Ferris wheel GIF or two. Nope. Not that fair. The best I could come by was a listing on the Kansas Fair Association home page letting me know it's happening in August.

So 4H for me, was all about the Fair. 4Hers were allowed and encouraged to enter Multiple contests of all different varieties. I competed in several events during my time in 4H. The biggest one, and most challenging was raising a bucket calf. Bucket Calves, for those not raised on ranches or farms, are baby cows who for one reason or another are unable to nurse from the tit of their cow mother. The farmer then is left to the task of seeing to the nourishment of the bucket calf.

I don't recall the ins and outs of bucket calfery all that well, but I'll tell you, this was one part of the fair I did not really enjoy. Raising the thing was a pain in my young ass. The calf was born in the winter, as I seem to recall most of our cattle were.

My poor orphan calf lived in a pen with a small corrugated tin barn in one corner. The pen was a rectangle approximately 30 yards in length and 20 yards wide. In the corner opposite the barn was the gate which I had to climb over to feed the calf. The pen was a brisk 400 Yard walk from our tiny farm house.

During the months in which I nursed this dear calf my routine was this: I would awake, as I always did in those young farm days at the very plumber crack of dawn. Somedays I was allowed my morning cereal, other days I had to immediately dress and head out to the garage, across the yard from our house. Inside the garage we kept the empty bottles for feeding the calves. I would grab a bottle, they were about thed size of a 2 Liter soda bottle, but made from thick off white plastic, not unlike the plastic used to in human milk jugs. There was also a large 40 pound bag of milk powder, the equivalent of human formula. EW. This stuff has the most distinct, disgusting smell to it. Sadly I can not describe this reek, any attempt would end up like the coffee cup incident of yesterday, and neither you nor I want to go through that again. I do hear by make you this promise, I will one day next week write you a poem about this strange powder. I would take one cup of this powder and dump it, with my nose facing as far the opposite direction as my young boy arms and neck would allow, into the bottom of the bottle.

After the short skip back across the yard I would fill the bottle full of hot water in the sink. Next it was time to apply the nipple. This part was also very unpleasant. The only thing that smells as bad if not worse than the nasty powder substance is that very substance mixed with hot water. EW! The nipple was never easy to place over the top of this stinking bottle of hot white liquid. This action required a super human effort of a 10 year old child. I would often whine my mother into doing it for me. Bless her.

Having finally finagled this strange black rubber nipple onto the bottle of gross it was time to walk on over to the calf pen. Often the bottle would be a little too full, or the nipple would create extra suction which would draw the sides of the bottle in tight, forcing the liquid to squirt out it's rankness into a little stream with every step. The calf for it's part was hungry. Sometimes hungry enough to come running to the gate. On these occasions it was a breeze to stick the bottle through the fence and feed the cow from behind the safety zone of the fence. Unless of course the nipple fell off, as they often did.

These little cows really like this substance we feed them. They like it a lot. They will pull the bottle from your hands if your not paying attention. Or worse, suck the nipple off the bottle. In some cases when the nipple is pulled from the bottle all the liquid would spill out, forcing me to walk back home and start the entire process over. Other times the liquid could be saved, but then I would have to enter the pen in order to retrieve the nipple from the calfs mouth. Not a fun task.

All of these issues could be complicated on the years when my brother also had a calf in the same pen. This meant we would have to work together, and go feed them at the same time. Because feeding one calf with another in the same pen was essentially impossible. If you don't have a nipple for both mouths, these little guys will run you all over the pen. Did I mention it was really cold? Sucked.

As the months progressed the challenge grew a bit easier in that the calf was more adjusted to the process. At the same time the job took on a new degree of difficulty and danger, because cows grow fast. Much faster than small blonde farm boys.

I'm not sure at this point how long this whole process takes. I have not been on a farm in years. It seems like it was a six month process though, so you can give or take to that as your imagination sees fit. At the end of the process it was time for the fair! Yay! So we come back to 4H, where this whole thing began.

The Bucket Calf competition in 4h is a bit blurry to me. I recall not liking it at all. By this time I weighed in the neighborhood of 75 pounds, my calf on the other hand came in around 250 pounds*. At the beginning of the fair week we would load up the calf or calves, in the back of a stock trailer and drive them from our farm to the Russell County Fairgrounds. There we would unload the calf and set him up a little temporary home in a large barn building. A building for cattle which must be rather similar to the building you live in now. Hmm... Is this an allegory or a metaphor? Discuss...

The competition would come at the end of the week. The calf would be harnessed by a large rope around it's also large neck. My small hands, attached to my very small body, would grab the opposite end of the rope. There were always about 20 kids in a similar predicament involved in the competition. We would lead our calves into a show pen. A dusty dirty pen with a roof over the top and bleachers on the side. These creatures don't really like to go where you want them to, so each boy has a small fiber glass prod, which is used essentially into annoying the calf into going where you wish.

I never really new what the judges were judging. I think it had something to do with how well your calf looked, and how well you handled it. I was really just waiting for it all to be over. Eventually it was, and I would no doubt get a participation ribbon, nothing of higher honor. I never cared.

In all this I learned that orphan cows have it rough, as do the little boys who feed them and their mothers who have to help. My dad seemed to have a genuine love for cows. He once saved one that was born with it's leg wrapped around it's head. It was born dead, but had apparently not been dead long. My father gave the baby creature, still covered in after birth, mouth to mouth. Actually blew life back into this dead creature. I'll never forget that.

At the end of the fair the calf was old enough to join the other cows. He would be released into the pasture with them. Within a few more months they would all be sold. Then they would killed and butchered#. Then they are eaten.

*I make these figures up, there is a lot of giving and taking, the actually weights are lost to me now, what you are left with is how my memory felt about the event.

#Not sure about the order... Killed and then butchered or the other way around...

***

I'm enclosing some pictures, one of which is a birthday card. I was thrilled to receive your letter dated January 6th last night. I was unable to get the password for shelf indulgence to work. One of the letters seemed a bit jumbled. If you could re-send them I may be able to work it.

Rock on,

Brandon

Gotta go, it's snow 4:30. I may tell you more about the fair next week, and I owe you a poem.

Metaphorical Files Baked In Cakes of Letters: Edition 6

Ho Hum

Hi Carrie.
How are you today? I'm getting along pretty fair. I'm a bit tuckered out as it's about 9 am here and I've only had one cup of coffee. I'm going to this second stop typing and go and have myself another one. Okay, I have a full cup of hot java lava, this should help. I don't recall ever seeing you drink coffee. Do you drink coffee? Do that have coffee in the house of corrections? Why do they call it that? What do you think about them calling it that?
I have a neat coffee cup. Amy's niece and Nephew gave it to me for Christmas. It would scare me that I'm at the point in life where young people give me coffee cups except for the fact that this one is really rather nifty. It's a nice bright blue color, just a little to deep of blue to be light blue, but really falling well short of dark blue. It has a plastic rim and handle which feels nice and smooth on my mouth and across my chapped lips. The Inside and bottom are of the same smooth plastic as the rim and handle. The main body of the cup on the outside is made of rubber, the kind that is almost sticky when you pass your fingers along it. The real great feature of this cup though is that it has the letters B-r-a-n-d-o-n across it. It actually appears on the cup twice. The letters are big and puffy, also very rubber in nature, but they actually appear to be more advanced than simple rubber. Think puffy paint with some real substance to it. Above and below the word "Brandon" are oblong dots, none of them larger in diameter than a #2 pencil. The dots are all of different colors, some are orange, some are green, and some are yellow. Starting from the left of the the handle there is a bright yellow B with a small slate blue star in the lower left hand corner. The star has five points. All around the bright yellow B is a thin bit of raised rubber, bright orange in color. The Next letter, a lower case "r" is bright orange. The "r" is outlined by the very same slate blue color which stands out nicely as the five pointed star in the lower left hand corner of the letter "B". If your following me on this dazzling cup exploration than you are no doubt ready to hear what color the letter "a" is. The letter "a" is a rather brilliant Green, outlined by the very same orange which covers the perimeter of the "B" and makes up the body of the "r". The effect of the two letters on either side of the orange "r" being outlined by that same orange color is rather effective. The first "n" we come to shares the bright yellow of the letter "B". Surrounding this bright Yellow "n" is the color purple. Next up we have "d". The artist for this particular cup really took a chance with the letter "d", because it's partial missing. The purple outline of the bright Yellow "n" actually smashes into the body of the "d". The "d" is bright red, outlined with the same green that made up the "a". I stress though that at the point where the "n" and "d" meet there is only the purple outline of the "n" and no green outline of the "d". On account of these letters sitting nearly on top of one another on the cup they have been left to share the same outline. The "o" which happens next is also smushed into the "d", however this time the "d" gets to retain it's outline, while the "o" is forced to share. The "o" has the same coloration as the outline of the "r" and the small star on the "B". The final "n" is orange, with a nice red outline. The "o " is also infringing upon the territory of the final "n". It is possible that the divine creator of this cup did not plan very well for fitting the letters on the cup, due to the fact that in the first half there is no bunching up of letters, but there is to an increasing degree at the end. It could also be that this effect was intended, in order to make the cup appear to be accelerating. This tight overlapping grouping of the final letters might be saying, this cup is speeding up, and so are you.
The second time the word "Brandon" appears on the cup the color patterns are all different, yet the layout is the same. This would give some credence to the notion that the grand statement of the cup lies in the way the letters are placed.

I'm now on my third cup of coffee. The cup is still the same. What do you think the message of the cup really is?

I've now pulled from my pocket a Lottery ticket which I purchased last night. It's a Super Lotto Ticket. Amy picked the first group of numbers, they are. 04 11 17 20 35 with a mega of 02. I picked the second group of numbers 06 26 28 38 47 with a Mega of 22. I'm not minimizing this blogger.com window in order to open a new one which I'll use to obtain the winning numbers from last nights contest.
And the winning numbers are:
6
24
25
36
43

with a MEGA number of
17

Dismal.
Today will not be my day to live the joy of the lottery winner.

Devin has just sent me an instant message that I have an email interview in my in box which I must go and fill out. When the interview is printed I'll send you a copy. I hope that I did not use all my patients and wit describing my coffee cup. Surely not!
I hope all is well for you. Hope my letters are finding you happy and peaceful, knee deep in gay for the stay ladies. If you can't tell I'm obsessed with saying "gay for the stay". I work it into conversations all day long. The 7-11 employee was a little put off by it last night when I bought this losing lotto ticket.
Bye for a while,
Brandon

Metaphorical Files Baked In Cakes of Letters: Edition 5

Buck At Cha Hoodles, It's a good day, I'm feeling okay by most all standards. I slept well last night and woke up feeling much better for it. How are you sleeping these days? I would like to know about bed time in the pen. I'd tell you more about my own but I doubt it would measure up. And now back to my weekend round up. I believe I left off some place Saturday afternoon, we were lounging with the cats after Famima!! In fact. The focus of the rest our day was a small dinner party in the evening at Devin and Dylan's apartment. The dinner was scheduled in celebration of the completion of our album. The guests of mention were Hoagie and Kim, the fabulous fellow who mixed/mastered/sweetened/guided our album, and his wonderfully enthusiastic girlfriend. Also Yvonne and Jessica attended, since Yvonne's work graced the cover and her voice/composition graced the song Grady. Before I get to far I'll mention that Hoagie has actually managed to discover this little Online record that you and I have been ever so active in communicating through these last Two years (you are still the only reader to comment more than twice miss Wipp). I mention that because I'm now aware that other folks can actually dig this up if they happen to look/lurk... I also mention it because I am now speaking about someone who just may happen to read it so I thought I'd say Hi! And I didn't want to confuse you anymore than my general rambling technique will. Tee Hee! So our dinner party was designed as a chance to sit down with Hoagie and have a bit of leisurely conversation about all the things we were to time crunched to speak about while actually working on the album. The plan was that Devin would cook and we'd all sit around and shoot some shit and let Hoagie meet Yvonne, the only person involved in the musically part of the album that he'd not yet met. Devin prepared a delicious if not bizarre assortment of food to eat. Amy made Two of wonderful Salads. Dylan attempted to make white chocolate castles but the white chocolate mortar proved and un workable material, therefore he chose to offer ice cream without the elaborate architecture. The evening was rather nice and people were allowed to flitter about as they do in these situations, but ultimately I don't feel that we got to properly decompress from our creative process. It all seemed to be a bit distracted, but then this is coming from me, who will spend a year making an album and then two years trying to grasp it all and talking about it. I think there is some convolution here, I'm writing you this letter, that I figure Hoagie will see, so I took a moment to let him know that I'm not finished talking by any means. You only get this kind of strange multiple use reporting here in the blogsphere. Which reminds me while I'm off point and not in a hurry to get back, isn't it funny that blogger.com's spell checker will always consider the word blog or any variation of the word to be a not in fact a word at all thus forth a mis-spelled word? It actually suggest to you the writer at blogger.com that perhaps you meant to write the word bloc, rather than the non-word blog.
Sunday Amy and I slept even later than Saturday waking to go have a little picnic in WeHo park. The Air was a bit chilly as it was already near evening when we got round to our out door public eating. The kids swarmed about the playground oblivious to the growing length of the shadows casts by swing sets and tornado slides. As if to remind a person that they are still in Los Angeles all the children were attractive, their clothing while causal was obviously not cheap, and just in case you still didn't remember where you were there was a token celebrity playing with his children. (the guy who played the drug dealer in the movie "Go!", who now play Seth bullock in deadwood.)
We ate packaged Sushi and Sandwiches.
After our meal we returned to our apartment. Amy fell asleep on the couch. I read from my book, one I mentioned yesterday. I was content for the next hour and a half.
Dylan rang us up around 6:30 to see if we wanted to join he and Devin in going out to a movie. We did. The film was to be Match Point, a new Woody Alan movie. We met the Boys at the recently overhauled Century City Plaza. By the time we found the theater in the new mess and actually took our seats the theater was full, forcing us to the second row from the screen, instant headache section. Amy and I didn't make it through even the first preview before deciding we would not waste 10 dollars each for sore eyes and throbbing heads.
We switched out tickets to Brokeback Mountain, which I would tell you all about, except if I'm certain my brother has already more than informed you regarding this ground breaking gay cowboy love story. I will say that I found it moving and beautiful, and yes, I cried a bit.
Brandon

Metaphorical Files Baked In Cakes of Letters: Edition 4

Oh me,
I woke up today thinking it was Friday. Not a fun thing for me to realize that it's only Tuesday. We went to the valley last night to sing Karaoke. Remember Apache? Well it's no longer Apache, it's now Fuel. It looks much better, one of the bartenders from Rage, Mario, now owns Fuel with some partners. James and Ginny, who used to do the Gold 9 Karaoke have the Monday nights there. Remember they did The Amnesty Party Karaoke, where you sang Hank II. Good Times.
I've been thinking lately about how fast this town changes, in part because I've been writing to you and I know how much you love this city, and how many things have changed since you last lived here. Also I've just finished reading a couple of really great books set here. The first one a book called GASCOYNE, by Stanley Crawford, it's sort of a detective noir story, with a great deal of accurate prediction of modern day LA. It was published in 1966 yet the main character GASCOYNE, basically lives in his car and jabbers constantly into his cell phone, much like we do today. Who would have thought that then? Stanley Crawford I guess. The other book is "Our Ecstatic Days" by Steve Erikson. It was really fucking phenomenal for me to read. In the beginning a puddle forms into a Lake where Hollywood Blvd. meets laurel Canyon, eventually growing large enough to submerge the city we know and love, therefore much of the story takes place in LA underwater, or more precisely, in the LA that still sits above water, such as the tower of the Chateau Marmont.
Also items like the bit about The Garden of Allah which I sent you. It gets a person thinking about just what is an individuals impact on a place with very little regard for history or consistency. I hate to see important landmarks go, (historical and personal) but I also like the change. I remember growing up in a place where nothing changed, unless something fell down. Most buildings were not even in use in my life time in rural Kansas.
I'm not really going to shatter the earth with any revelations made here, but I was thinking about it, and I thought I'd think about it with you a bit. I guess what I realize from the ever changing blinking mess we call Los Angeles is that most of us will never be able to make an impact big enough to leave a permanent mark in the architecture or landscape of this city, but all of us leave a mark on other people. Almost everyone I know came here from somewhere else and adapted to a new life, often with the help, love and encouragement of other people just like them. These marks might change a bit as the clock winds, but like one Sushi restaurant replaces another on Santa Monica Blvd, the basic structure remains.
Sometimes I feel like there are already so many ghosts here that there is not room for any new ones. I move about and look at corners where I'll always remember someone did this to someone else, and it seems like that corner will only exist to serve that memory, but then in the flash of some bizarre evening or weekend when life has me far from reflective I find myself on that very corner that forever would have been just the one memory, and in those moments I'll be making a new memory and I may be too taken with life to even stop and recall that some one said or did something unforgettable here before, in the very spot that now has a new mark, a new ghost. I guess when you really consider ghosts it would seem they don't take up much room, so there are always room for new ones.
I like the ghosts I have of you, that you left here in your time with me. Some are not so pretty, but I will endure those every time I happen to remember them on the split chance that I might get to catch a peek of one that maybe I've forgotten, one of the beautiful ones where you got to be your amazing self in full arc.
There is an amount of good fortune in your current captivity because you have time to catch your breath and think. Left to the way you were going before I don't believe you had much breath left to catch. When the issue between you and a couple Midwestern states goes off and gets itself resolved and your allowed to come back here to this town it's my hope that you will be in the place where you can sort the good ghosts from the bad, and live accordingly, happily.

***
Okay, I wrote that this morning and in hovering over the post button/envelope to deliver it to you and all 3 of my blog readers I must say I have hesitations. It's rather heavy handed, and I am certainly no person to give anybody life advice, but that said I send it because I care and I want to know that when you get out that I'll have my friend back in way where I can actually have her around and feel confident that she's going to be alright.

I was going to end with:
Don't just be straight for the stay, stay straight...

But then I looked at it and thought of the number of ways it could be taken wrong so I deleted it. Then I thought about how funny many of those ways to take it wrong actually are so I've included it.

Love Peeps,
Buck

Metaphorical Files Baked In Cakes of Letters: Edition 3

In Lieu of Productivity

Hey there tiny turbo,
I almost didn't get a chance to dash anything down today on account of work being just a bit overwhelming, but then I had a moment to consider and I realized that this week last year I blogged everyday! What a lot to live up too? I noticed the previous years achievement last week on a low motivated glance backward at my personal history and decided then and there that I'd try and pull the same feat this year. Then I got to thinking about starting and it just felt strange blogging for my own wicked senses when your senses are maybe a bit deprived. I basically came to the conclusion that I might as well just blog to you if I'm going to blog, then I can send it off your way and give you a little envelope of goody in your mail box and leave me a little record of it so I know what the hell your replying to when you reply. Sounds solid to me anyway.
This weekend was a good one. Friday night Amy and I went to MJ's with Dylan, Devin was occupied delivering grocery items so he was unable to join. It was actually a little too much man on man action for our short attention spans. We ended up kicking it back at D & D's watching a dvd of "The Dick Cavett Show". It was rather interesting, we watched one with David Bowie recorded in like 1974. Bowie was so obviously snorting blow just moments before the interview, he did some serious sniffling and fidgeting. It was a bizarre spectacle. And maybe not really that pertinent to my blog letter but I included it because I thought it was going to lead to a more startling revelation about the way in which television has changed... Obviously it didn't inspire that in this author today. Let's mark it down as an issue that may require further meditation and conversation. Maybe you want to expound on it in your letter and have me include it here? I figure you have a unique perspective on the whole t.v. thing, maybe you could run me through the role of television for today's modern ward of the state?
Saturday was nice. We slept till 1:30 or so, then went and had some breakfast at this rad Japanese Deli/Quick Mart called Famima!!, that is by the way their double exclamation, I may be free and lose with one such mark of punctuation but I abhor use of the double. I once chose not to date a girl due to here absurd use of the double exclamation mark. Seriously, this girl ended every sentence that way. Example:
Hi Brandon!! Sorry it took me so long to get back to you but I've been really busy!! Your email was really funny!! I laughed the whole time I read it!! What have you been up to?! I bet lot's of fun stuff!! Well I Don't have much to say just wanted to respond to your email!! Bye for now!!

UG!! Annoying huh?

Getting back to Famima!! I think now maybe I told you about it in another letter but I can't be certain. Amy wrote a nifty blog about it a while back, here is how she put it:

Friday, November 11, 2005
famished? Current mood: flirty
ladies and queens, we announce the opening of the newest hotspot west of hollywood. FAMIMA!! has become a shitting glitter hangout, and it does not carry alcohol.! so, why, you ask yourself, would shitting glitter be even remotely interested in such an establishment? panini, and i don't mean just any panini schmamimi. there is a fab selection of assorted samiches (my kiddie pronunciation i used from ages 2-5), with cheese varieties such as havarti, cream and swiss, with various meat/fish choices; smashed down and left with skid marks.. it is un.. UN real. you need pocky? well search no more. they have one for men only. i recommend the tomato flavor... you like green tea cake? did you know it existed? wanna strawberry marshmallow by hellokitty with jelly filling? a water in a bottle shaped like a weird ice cube? bento box you say? awesome journals, pens, stationary candles. fountain soda, god bless ya. all of the froo froo drinkies we are accustomed to from whole foods. very friendly grill happy staff. upscale candy section, shiney magazine section. some huge dumpling thing in the steamy box on the counter that resembles a potsticker; shiney donuts on the counter too, in their very own case; howzabout coffee at a very reasonable price and quite delish (just ask marc). howzabout marc being walking distance and always willing to leave whatever he is doing to come meet at famima!!? these are a few of my favorite things....apparently the japanese have been onto this whole upscale market thingy for some time; they are sharing with us, and all i can say is Arigato gozaimasu.
http://www.famima-usa.com

Wow!! Good stuff huh?!
(I'm descending rapidly into cheeky here)

After our little meal at the double exclaimed Japanese 7-11 we headed home for a little social time with Henry and Arthur. Henry and Arthur both told me to tell you hello. Henry also wanted you to know that he got a couple of rather impressive gifts for Christmas. The first one, from my boss Craig, is a self scooping litter box which Orange kitty Henry just adores. Nothing in Henry's world is as precious as defiling clean fresh cat sand and with this knew electric contraption that is exactly what he gets, everytime. Arthur on the other hand has not cottoned to it at all. Arthur's taken to making yellow in the bath tub and dropping brown directly in front of the toilet in lieu of the new box (I tried for a great long time to work the use of lieu into the ultimate pun but it all turned out terribly ham fisted). The second great gift was from Amy and I, it's small remote controlled mouse named Benny. Truth be told I enjoy it more than they do. I like to drive it in between Tur Tur's legs when he walks. It surprises him every time and he jumps 3 feet into the air and lands with that priceless blank expression we've come to know and love from him.

I was going to recap the whole weekend for you today but I really found myself a bit side tracked so I'll save the rest of the goodies for tomorrow's edition. I hope your holding up okay, and enjoying some gay for the stay action. I love you dearly and eagerly a wait your next missive.
Brandon Buckie