In the course of twenty crowded years one parts with many illusions. I did not wish to lose the early ones. Some memories are realities, and are better than anything that can ever happen to one again.
From My Antonia
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
the light of truth itself
I'm reading My Antonia by Willa Cather for book club. It is making me homesick for a home that I barely new, yet felt deeply as a boy. There has always been a part of me born too late and this part of me is the slowest to adjust to the new things that life throws my way.
In the morning, when I was fighting my way to school against the wind, I couldn't see anything but the road in front of me; but in the late afternoon, when I was coming home, the town looked bleak and desolate to me. The pale, cold light of the winter sunset did not beautify--it was like the light of truth itself. When the smoky clouds hung low in the west and the red sun went down behind them, leaving a pink flush on the snowy roofs and the blue drifts, then the wind sprang up afresh, with a kind of bitter song, as if it said: 'This is reality, whether you like it or not. All those frivolities of summer, the light and shadow, the living mask of green that trembled over everything, they were lies, and this is what was underneath. This is the truth.' It was as if we were being punished for loving the loveliness of summer."
In the morning, when I was fighting my way to school against the wind, I couldn't see anything but the road in front of me; but in the late afternoon, when I was coming home, the town looked bleak and desolate to me. The pale, cold light of the winter sunset did not beautify--it was like the light of truth itself. When the smoky clouds hung low in the west and the red sun went down behind them, leaving a pink flush on the snowy roofs and the blue drifts, then the wind sprang up afresh, with a kind of bitter song, as if it said: 'This is reality, whether you like it or not. All those frivolities of summer, the light and shadow, the living mask of green that trembled over everything, they were lies, and this is what was underneath. This is the truth.' It was as if we were being punished for loving the loveliness of summer."
Monday, June 20, 2011
After Hours... of Sleep
I feel good today because I was exhausted upon arriving home last night. I stayed up too late on Saturday night catching back up with Angela who had just returned from San Diego. It's nice though when over extension leads to a pleasant healing lengthy sleep.
Angela left town Friday afternoon while I was at work. I arrived home to an empty house and took a short nap, as I have become accustom to. I then headed to Griffith Park for one of my Friday night group walks. This time I was joined by Tiger, his neighbor Nick, and an out of town visitor from Tiger's under grade days Siobhan. I enjoy this hour long three mile walk and talk in the evening hours of my favorite park. I enjoy sharing the joy of walking with others, it leads to easy conversation. And just remember if someone tells you to take it easy you should reply "if it's easy I'll take it twice". Or not.
After my walk I shopped for food for Bettina and Myself. I then returned home to my lonely Apartment. Angela and I both enjoy spending short increments of time apart. It's healthy. I for one very much enjoy the rare treat of having my own home to myself. Apartment cohabitation is tough, and I happen to be particularly inclined towards solitude. I think the ability to lose myself in myself comes from my farm child up bringing. I would disappear for hours and hours while I wondered around our farm, which in my mind was always something greater. This habit of disappearing into an inner world has never left me. I spent the greater part of my Friday night staring at my computer, moving musical notes around and writing lyrics. I ended my evening with Bunny exercise time and watching the Pick Up Artist Starring Robert Downey Jr.
Saturday I woke up around 10:30 and drank coffee and had breakfast. I then cleaned the kitchen and the patio and took 3 bags of assorted no longer desired household items to Out of the Closet for donation.
I then remastered the S no S album "These Things". I have not yet listened to the work I did, I hope it turned out better than it was, I have always had a particular love of that album. Time will tell.
I took a break in the afternoon then to watch "The Hurt Locker" which I had been meaning to see. I enjoyed it. While watching the movie I took apart a small guitar amp I had found and used contact cleaner on some scratchy pots. Sure enough it came out good as new. On a guitar geek note I then realized that the amp itself sounded much better being driven by my Jekyll and Hide pedal, particularly the distortion channel.
I spent a great part of the afternoon going through some songs to see if there was anything screaming "do me" at me. I ended up spending several hours taking an S no S song and trying to adapt it into a Turbo Sunshine song. I chose "Where are they now" from the first S no S album and turned it into a tune called, "Where did you go?". I am not nearly finished but I'm happy with the result thus far. We even rehearsed on it a a little bit Sunday afternoon.
Angela arrived home on saturday night. She brought me some wonderful roast beef sandwiches. They were pre packed in aluminum foil and mighty tasty. We talked and drank late into the night. It was fun and relaxing.
Sunday we woke up and I busted my ass a bit to prepare for Turbo Sunshine rehearsal. I had to make a few new tracks and make some sheet music for Elene. Around 1pm we packed everything up and drove to the Valley, first to Ben's house to say hello, catch up and take a peak at the burlesque prop which he is building for Dolly Dagger. While there we met his brand new dog, Henry. Big Saint Bernard. Cute!
We shortly left and Drove to Elene's. We set up and did a Turbo Rehearsal first. This was a momentous rehearsal because Angela played the E-drums for the first time. I've taken to calling her "mommy lee". She seems to have a natural knack for rhythm and she confided that she enjoys playing the drums much more than she does singing. This makes me excited. She has scheduled some drum lessons next month with Shitting Glitter's old drummer Alexa, I can't tell this blog how happy this turn of desitny makes me.
After Turbo rehearsal Angela switched places with Myles, who drummed for a Devin Tait and the Traitor's rehearsal. Myles surprised me with his drumming and excited me for the future of DT&T as well.
Our Sunday of rehearsal was capped by Elene cooking a wonderful Chinese meal. We drank a bit and talked and stuffed our faces. We then chilled on her roof top as the sun left the world for another day.
Angela left town Friday afternoon while I was at work. I arrived home to an empty house and took a short nap, as I have become accustom to. I then headed to Griffith Park for one of my Friday night group walks. This time I was joined by Tiger, his neighbor Nick, and an out of town visitor from Tiger's under grade days Siobhan. I enjoy this hour long three mile walk and talk in the evening hours of my favorite park. I enjoy sharing the joy of walking with others, it leads to easy conversation. And just remember if someone tells you to take it easy you should reply "if it's easy I'll take it twice". Or not.
After my walk I shopped for food for Bettina and Myself. I then returned home to my lonely Apartment. Angela and I both enjoy spending short increments of time apart. It's healthy. I for one very much enjoy the rare treat of having my own home to myself. Apartment cohabitation is tough, and I happen to be particularly inclined towards solitude. I think the ability to lose myself in myself comes from my farm child up bringing. I would disappear for hours and hours while I wondered around our farm, which in my mind was always something greater. This habit of disappearing into an inner world has never left me. I spent the greater part of my Friday night staring at my computer, moving musical notes around and writing lyrics. I ended my evening with Bunny exercise time and watching the Pick Up Artist Starring Robert Downey Jr.
Saturday I woke up around 10:30 and drank coffee and had breakfast. I then cleaned the kitchen and the patio and took 3 bags of assorted no longer desired household items to Out of the Closet for donation.
I then remastered the S no S album "These Things". I have not yet listened to the work I did, I hope it turned out better than it was, I have always had a particular love of that album. Time will tell.
I took a break in the afternoon then to watch "The Hurt Locker" which I had been meaning to see. I enjoyed it. While watching the movie I took apart a small guitar amp I had found and used contact cleaner on some scratchy pots. Sure enough it came out good as new. On a guitar geek note I then realized that the amp itself sounded much better being driven by my Jekyll and Hide pedal, particularly the distortion channel.
I spent a great part of the afternoon going through some songs to see if there was anything screaming "do me" at me. I ended up spending several hours taking an S no S song and trying to adapt it into a Turbo Sunshine song. I chose "Where are they now" from the first S no S album and turned it into a tune called, "Where did you go?". I am not nearly finished but I'm happy with the result thus far. We even rehearsed on it a a little bit Sunday afternoon.
Angela arrived home on saturday night. She brought me some wonderful roast beef sandwiches. They were pre packed in aluminum foil and mighty tasty. We talked and drank late into the night. It was fun and relaxing.
Sunday we woke up and I busted my ass a bit to prepare for Turbo Sunshine rehearsal. I had to make a few new tracks and make some sheet music for Elene. Around 1pm we packed everything up and drove to the Valley, first to Ben's house to say hello, catch up and take a peak at the burlesque prop which he is building for Dolly Dagger. While there we met his brand new dog, Henry. Big Saint Bernard. Cute!
We shortly left and Drove to Elene's. We set up and did a Turbo Rehearsal first. This was a momentous rehearsal because Angela played the E-drums for the first time. I've taken to calling her "mommy lee". She seems to have a natural knack for rhythm and she confided that she enjoys playing the drums much more than she does singing. This makes me excited. She has scheduled some drum lessons next month with Shitting Glitter's old drummer Alexa, I can't tell this blog how happy this turn of desitny makes me.
After Turbo rehearsal Angela switched places with Myles, who drummed for a Devin Tait and the Traitor's rehearsal. Myles surprised me with his drumming and excited me for the future of DT&T as well.
Our Sunday of rehearsal was capped by Elene cooking a wonderful Chinese meal. We drank a bit and talked and stuffed our faces. We then chilled on her roof top as the sun left the world for another day.
Monday, June 06, 2011
Beat for the Broken Hearted
Here is a video from the last Devin Tait and the Traitor's show. It's DT&T performing the Turbo Sunshine song "Beat for the Broken Hearted". I'm proud of the way this video turned out. This is Angela's first ever live lead vocal performance. I was pleased to see that the 3 of us performed with a bit of passion. It makes me excited to put together a full set of Turbo Songs.
Angela is considering drum lessons. I support this whole heartedly.
Angela is considering drum lessons. I support this whole heartedly.
The Cooperative Sky
It rained briefly last night. Angela and I were driving from the TV academy to Devin and Dylan's apartment when it sprinkled a touch on the windshield. It's nice to get rain in LA in June. The sky today is still grey and I have a warm cup of coffee next to me. Soon I will leave work and go buy a door from someone in Burbank, then I will drive it out to Malibu where I will see what K has been up to.
We were leaving the TV Academy yesterday in the rain because the Movie Bridesmaids had ended. It was a fun movie to watch to. It maid me feel very sorry for the lead character at points throughout the movie, but it made me laugh a whole bunch.
We went to see Bridesmaids because we had been at the beach watching Devin secretly film his video for "Winnipeg Beach". I checked the weather before we left and the forecast for the area seemed dreary and cold, therefore we dressed accordingly. When we arrived we found it to be sunny and beautiful. This made it okay to wear nothing but rolled up jeans and marvel at the water for a while. After marveling for a spell we enjoyed Fish and Chips at Patrick's Roadhouse, because we were hungry.
we went to the beach because the night before we had been at Devin and Dylan's watching our friend Shawn's new DVD which featured the Video from DT&T's song "Alien Nation." The DVD was hilarious, we all enjoyed it very much. After the DVD we spent time talking and planning and watching Angela and Dylan make a prop for the video that was to be shot. It sounded like a good reason to go to the beach.
We had been at Devin and Dylan's house that evening because I had been working most of the day in my bosses yard and Angela had been working most of the day in the apartment, deep cleaning the bathroom and the kitchen. She even ripped the shower doors off because she hates them. After the yard work I was sunburned and tired. We ate food because we were hungry and I took a nap. After the nap I felt sluggish and I needed to pep up and the sun was about to set. I decided to go for a run to enjoy the last bit of the day. I walked out my apartment and onto the sidewalk, still feeling lazy. When I got to the corner of Los Feliz near my house I checked the parking meter to see what time it was, because I like to time my runs these days. I started off slow and told myself I wasn't going to run five miles and I wasn't really going to care how fast I ran it. I plodded along for a mile and then ducked through the tunnel into griffith park. I ran to a fork in the trail, trying to decide how far I wanted to plod. I decided I could turn further into the park and still turn around if I continued to feel lazy. I sort of lost track of what I was doing at one point and noticed that I had crossed the point of no return and that I had accidentally committed to running at least 5 miles. Once I realized that I started to regret the decision because I realized it was going to take more time. Then I thought well the only way to get this over with is to run faster, so I did. I ended up really pushing the last 2.5 miles of my run, which caused me to check the meter when I returned. I realized that I was only 3 minutes of my best time for that distance this year. So after that I showered and we wanted to get out of the house but not do anything to crazy, so we went to Devin and Dylan's for a visit.
We were leaving the TV Academy yesterday in the rain because the Movie Bridesmaids had ended. It was a fun movie to watch to. It maid me feel very sorry for the lead character at points throughout the movie, but it made me laugh a whole bunch.
We went to see Bridesmaids because we had been at the beach watching Devin secretly film his video for "Winnipeg Beach". I checked the weather before we left and the forecast for the area seemed dreary and cold, therefore we dressed accordingly. When we arrived we found it to be sunny and beautiful. This made it okay to wear nothing but rolled up jeans and marvel at the water for a while. After marveling for a spell we enjoyed Fish and Chips at Patrick's Roadhouse, because we were hungry.
we went to the beach because the night before we had been at Devin and Dylan's watching our friend Shawn's new DVD which featured the Video from DT&T's song "Alien Nation." The DVD was hilarious, we all enjoyed it very much. After the DVD we spent time talking and planning and watching Angela and Dylan make a prop for the video that was to be shot. It sounded like a good reason to go to the beach.
We had been at Devin and Dylan's house that evening because I had been working most of the day in my bosses yard and Angela had been working most of the day in the apartment, deep cleaning the bathroom and the kitchen. She even ripped the shower doors off because she hates them. After the yard work I was sunburned and tired. We ate food because we were hungry and I took a nap. After the nap I felt sluggish and I needed to pep up and the sun was about to set. I decided to go for a run to enjoy the last bit of the day. I walked out my apartment and onto the sidewalk, still feeling lazy. When I got to the corner of Los Feliz near my house I checked the parking meter to see what time it was, because I like to time my runs these days. I started off slow and told myself I wasn't going to run five miles and I wasn't really going to care how fast I ran it. I plodded along for a mile and then ducked through the tunnel into griffith park. I ran to a fork in the trail, trying to decide how far I wanted to plod. I decided I could turn further into the park and still turn around if I continued to feel lazy. I sort of lost track of what I was doing at one point and noticed that I had crossed the point of no return and that I had accidentally committed to running at least 5 miles. Once I realized that I started to regret the decision because I realized it was going to take more time. Then I thought well the only way to get this over with is to run faster, so I did. I ended up really pushing the last 2.5 miles of my run, which caused me to check the meter when I returned. I realized that I was only 3 minutes of my best time for that distance this year. So after that I showered and we wanted to get out of the house but not do anything to crazy, so we went to Devin and Dylan's for a visit.
Sunday, June 05, 2011
Saturday, June 04, 2011
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