It is a Saturday and this will be very short. The sun is on it's way to setting. It's been a most interesting year, in good ways and bad.
Something happened to the internet and now it's not very fun to write on it.
External Mind Drive
I hope to one day remember all that I'm forgetting
Saturday, December 08, 2018
Saturday, December 17, 2016
The Convergence of Misunderstanding
I haven't written anything online in a while. It feels like a cesspool that doesn't need another movement. I realize though if I don't write here, then I won't write anything other than song lyrics, text messages and emails where I ask how many devices need to connect to the wireless in the production office.
After the election in November I wanted to think before I opened my mouth and wrote something down. I tried to not add another opinion to the pile, or another movement to the pool, but I found myself responding and at times running with it. That's not what I wanted to do, because that's what often end up doing. This year has shown me that things are going to change, and they are going to change fast and unpredictably. My failed attempt at a self imposed silence was an effort to anticipate that change and form a better response than firing out of anger from the hip.
The silence I have been able to establish in my internal dialogue is fragile. All to easily it becomes denial, and denial in these times is holds a special appeal. I want to find a peace of mind that isn't constructed on a willful omission. So I catch myself and reinforce the silence, but the silence is letting me down, so here I am on a Saturday night, trying to think through my fingers.
I've held so many wrong thoughts lately about my country and my planet. Fantastic notions that I fall in love with for a heartbeat that slip away just as fast as they appear. It takes a whole lot of thinking to get through any given day.
I believe in our republic, imperfect as it may be. I remember a lifetime ago wanting to see it burn. I live dis-functionally with the ghost of Brandon passed, and I am grateful for all of the years under the bridge. I am not wise, but I now can occasionally appreciate wisdom when I encounter it. Memory is such a powerful force, I recall the feeling of being right when I wasn't. It's those memories that drive me to shut up and think before I speak, and that fill me with regret when I can't help myself.
And here we are in the common era. By force we will have to consider many things we took as granted. I think that I grew up with an illusion of human society, that it was knowable. I think I was educated to believe so. I couldn't imagine my third grade teacher standing in front of the classroom and telling us that we have only the smallest bit of understanding in nearly all subjects, and that it was far more likely that anything she could teach us would eventually be proved to be more wrong than right. Would that have been a strange or scary lesson to learn? And how does one teach the elusive nature the unknown?
So I do love our republic, and I'd like to keep it, but what I've really come to understand is that my true love is humanity, unbound by border or ideology. Of the options available to me I still believe that this republic is the best place to practice my humanity. I think the only thing I can stand in front of a classroom full of third graders and say is that you should practice your humanity as often as possible and with the broadest variety you can handle.
After the election in November I wanted to think before I opened my mouth and wrote something down. I tried to not add another opinion to the pile, or another movement to the pool, but I found myself responding and at times running with it. That's not what I wanted to do, because that's what often end up doing. This year has shown me that things are going to change, and they are going to change fast and unpredictably. My failed attempt at a self imposed silence was an effort to anticipate that change and form a better response than firing out of anger from the hip.
The silence I have been able to establish in my internal dialogue is fragile. All to easily it becomes denial, and denial in these times is holds a special appeal. I want to find a peace of mind that isn't constructed on a willful omission. So I catch myself and reinforce the silence, but the silence is letting me down, so here I am on a Saturday night, trying to think through my fingers.
I've held so many wrong thoughts lately about my country and my planet. Fantastic notions that I fall in love with for a heartbeat that slip away just as fast as they appear. It takes a whole lot of thinking to get through any given day.
I believe in our republic, imperfect as it may be. I remember a lifetime ago wanting to see it burn. I live dis-functionally with the ghost of Brandon passed, and I am grateful for all of the years under the bridge. I am not wise, but I now can occasionally appreciate wisdom when I encounter it. Memory is such a powerful force, I recall the feeling of being right when I wasn't. It's those memories that drive me to shut up and think before I speak, and that fill me with regret when I can't help myself.
And here we are in the common era. By force we will have to consider many things we took as granted. I think that I grew up with an illusion of human society, that it was knowable. I think I was educated to believe so. I couldn't imagine my third grade teacher standing in front of the classroom and telling us that we have only the smallest bit of understanding in nearly all subjects, and that it was far more likely that anything she could teach us would eventually be proved to be more wrong than right. Would that have been a strange or scary lesson to learn? And how does one teach the elusive nature the unknown?
So I do love our republic, and I'd like to keep it, but what I've really come to understand is that my true love is humanity, unbound by border or ideology. Of the options available to me I still believe that this republic is the best place to practice my humanity. I think the only thing I can stand in front of a classroom full of third graders and say is that you should practice your humanity as often as possible and with the broadest variety you can handle.
Friday, April 29, 2016
General Update and Such
Back to running again after being sick a lot at the end of last year and then being busy at work with show season, so I have massive blisters on the back of my feet from my first long runs in a while. Not fun.
Angela and I have been working on Quickbooks certifications. We've completed and passed the first course there is much celebration. More to go, her small bookkeeping practice is growing though. It's a pleasure to watch her succeed and to know that if my occupation ever goes away I'll have someone I like to work for and with.
My work has kept itself more interesting by adding in field duties. I've learned to do a lot more in the realm of computer networking and phone installations and I continue to learn more each day. Progress can be very exciting. I may even get to travel to one of the sites of the political conventions for work this year. Crossing fingers for that.
After our last camping trip went so fun Angela and I have booked another one. We are going to Idyllwild in late May to camp and experience the magic.
In mid may we also get to pass that way to stay in a nice house with a pool in Palm Springs with Devin and Dylan.
And in a month and a half we will have the pleasure of a long weekend visiting my niece and nephew in Kansas City. Woot Woot!
I've done a lot of work on Devin's Album in the last couple of weeks, that should be coming out soon. My S no S album will probably be wrapped up very soon as well. Perhaps a few more vocals to record this weekend should do it for that.
The excitement level is strong for all of this.
Here are some photos to help celebrate.
Angela and I have been working on Quickbooks certifications. We've completed and passed the first course there is much celebration. More to go, her small bookkeeping practice is growing though. It's a pleasure to watch her succeed and to know that if my occupation ever goes away I'll have someone I like to work for and with.
My work has kept itself more interesting by adding in field duties. I've learned to do a lot more in the realm of computer networking and phone installations and I continue to learn more each day. Progress can be very exciting. I may even get to travel to one of the sites of the political conventions for work this year. Crossing fingers for that.
After our last camping trip went so fun Angela and I have booked another one. We are going to Idyllwild in late May to camp and experience the magic.
In mid may we also get to pass that way to stay in a nice house with a pool in Palm Springs with Devin and Dylan.
And in a month and a half we will have the pleasure of a long weekend visiting my niece and nephew in Kansas City. Woot Woot!
I've done a lot of work on Devin's Album in the last couple of weeks, that should be coming out soon. My S no S album will probably be wrapped up very soon as well. Perhaps a few more vocals to record this weekend should do it for that.
The excitement level is strong for all of this.
Here are some photos to help celebrate.
Fresh havin' a rest
toon is not amused
Colin and I using face swap
Tiger and I using face swap
Angie and I went to see Dita Von Teese at the Avalon, here's Murray Hill in full Showbiz pose
Dita!
Buddy and I, we still got it.
Monday, April 25, 2016
We Went a Camping!
I've been to theme parks that cost a pretty penny, and there are theme parks that cost more than I've ever spent, yet as I walked around the Camp Ground at Leo Carrillo state park watching families in nature I was struck by the difference; families were actually happy here. One of my favorite things about a theme park is 3:00pm, watching the sad faces of people who have waited in line after line, waiting in yet another line. It's a stark contrast to a camp ground where you see entire families sitting together, laughing and smiling. That's what I was thinking about yesterday, as Angela and I walked around our little camp.
It's been busy times in Los Angeles these past few months. Times have been good busy for the most part, but there is also always the inevitable crap that life throws at you, that stacks up, that for some reason doesn't seem to alleviate in just a weekend at home. So to that end Angela and I booked a camp site a couple weeks ago and decided to take to our tent for just one night. Knowing that Devin and Dylan were probably in a similar circumstance we invited them to come along as well.
So this past Friday evening Angela and I came home from work, went down to the garage and started to gather the tent, the sleeping bags, the flashlights and all the other gear we might require for a night away.
We got a good night's sleep Friday and woke up to finish supply runs and packing. By Noon we were on the road, Sunset Blvd specifically, heading north to where the strip meets highway 1. Then north again through Malibu to Leo Carrillo State Park.
Devin and Dylan arrived before us, and had the Picnic table set up beautifully.
Since I am myself, I immediately set about making camp. The tent and all the usual stuff.
It's been busy times in Los Angeles these past few months. Times have been good busy for the most part, but there is also always the inevitable crap that life throws at you, that stacks up, that for some reason doesn't seem to alleviate in just a weekend at home. So to that end Angela and I booked a camp site a couple weeks ago and decided to take to our tent for just one night. Knowing that Devin and Dylan were probably in a similar circumstance we invited them to come along as well.
So this past Friday evening Angela and I came home from work, went down to the garage and started to gather the tent, the sleeping bags, the flashlights and all the other gear we might require for a night away.
We got a good night's sleep Friday and woke up to finish supply runs and packing. By Noon we were on the road, Sunset Blvd specifically, heading north to where the strip meets highway 1. Then north again through Malibu to Leo Carrillo State Park.
Devin and Dylan arrived before us, and had the Picnic table set up beautifully.
Since I am myself, I immediately set about making camp. The tent and all the usual stuff.
Angela and Devin in our little patch of dirt heaven.
From our camp ground a sidewalk and a tunnel led to the beach.
Which looked like this.
We enjoyed some beach time while we watched surfers & kite surfers. All of us getting excited when the kite surfers would almost crash. When one finally did it was less dramatic than we'd hoped.
After the beach we came back to camp and drank beer and made a fire to cook burgers on.
Then Dylan and I hiked around to explore the beach and sunset.
After our hike we enjoyed the fire Dylan made.
and we tortured some peeps.
Also, Angela had her very first proper Smore. Can you believe that? She loved it.
The next morning Devin made pancakes and Bacon and fake eggs.
Then I went for a walk around the campground with Angela. Then I went for a hike to the top of the canyon.
Looking back down at camp from halfway up the canyon.
happy selfie
After our camping was over Angela and I drove home via Mullholland highway, which turned out to be a beautiful scenic drive. We stopped and had the best Deli sandwiches in Agoura Hills and before you knew it we were home. We hope to go camping again next month too.
Tuesday, January 19, 2016
Kansas Trip, Delayuletide
Angie and I had the good fortune to fly to Kansas earlier this month for a long weekend with our wonderful family.
It was a special occasion because we got to meet our Nephew Emmett.
And our niece Eva has now grown to the point of being an absolute treat of entertainment to be around. Here she is opening her Yuletide gift from us. And Hugging it.
And Kissing it. Viva La Lambie!
Here I am, feeling the joy of the small things.
while watching the Chiefs game on saturday afternoon.
Mommie and Son!
While I was home I was asked by my parents to eliminate old storage at their place. I was surprised to learn my old 4 track still works. I had to kick start it once, but otherwise it actually seemed to work better than I remembered. I don't know when I'll set about going through the 50 tapes I found with it, but at one point I may.
Here is my brother Royal. My wife is always putting things on his head.
We played Butt or Elbow. You decide.
Eva is sort of a show stealer, no matter what she is doing. I really love this child, and getting to know her as she develops is such a treat. Nothing feels better then when she see's me, smiles and says: "Uncle".
I won't always be able to hold Emmett on my lap, so I tried to suck up as much of it as I could.
Tummy Time with assistance from Royal!
We took a day trip to Lawrence to see my cousin Stu and then my cousin Cate. Here is Angie kicking it with Stu and Lori's wonderful dog Elroy.
And dad kicking it with Elroy.
Daddy drew doing his thing. It's fun to see someone being a dad. They don't always have the easy job. Sometimes they are the only person who has to put a foot down. Having a dad strong enough to do that is the most valuable things a kid can have. Kudos for my new brother for making it look so easy.
It's just so nice.
The day after Angie and I came home Devin and Dylan went to Kansas. Here is Bootsie when we stopped by one day to feed him. Missing his daddies and hanging with Bowie.
There is nothing in life that I have encountered that makes time feel as fleeting as only getting to see my sister's children infrequently. My own youth can pass me by, I'm fine with that, but I am having a hard time not sucking up as much of theirs as I can. I'm so happy for Adrienne, she is doing one of the jobs she always seemed put on this planet to do and she's doing it so well. Seeing my parents taking their part in the continuum is a very powerful thing as well. Mom and Dad have become Grandma and Grandpa. Brothers and Sisters are now Aunts and Uncles. Time changes and passes quickly. It's a reminder to not be petty, to be smart and a little less smart ass and a lot less ass-hole. Their is wonder in the world always, it's worth taking notice of as often as possible.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)